You create world peace for exactly 2 microseconds, then some chump brings you back to mock you for it.

I wish I was edgy

Wish granted but you're so edgy you keep piercing people nearby leaving a trail of bodies and are being charged for attempted murder

I wish I was a world class chef

Granted, however in becoming one you became so arrogant no one is willing to hire you.

I wish trains had more capacity.

Trains have a limitless capacity, but the same capacity per car, people now live on constantly moving train cities. But its really just god playing snake... and he will loose.

I wish for all the knowledge of the world.

You gain the entire knowledge of the whole universe but your brain has matured so much that you cannot understand basic human language and nobody understands you.

I wish I had a pet wolf.

Granted. Your wolf eats you

I wish for a single grain of tablesalt.

Granted, however all your possessions became that single grain of table salt.

I wish that junk food was healthy.

Granted. All junk food becomes healthy, but ingesting any amount will cause a severe allergic reaction.

I wish I had my soul again.

Granted. You get your soul back, but are afflicted with extreme empathy and altruism; feeling the need to donate all your time and resources to the world.

I wish that I could have a puppy.

Granted you may have a puppy. But you are unable to find a puppy to adopt for the rest of your life.

I wish food was not required to live life.

Granted, but you are now a voracious glutton who will eat anything, whether inedible or not.

Since you guys for nothing, you are now in a black hole. Which sucks.

Forever young! I wish I could be forever yooooung!

You're an infant forever.

I wish that whatever bad things were going to happen to me would happen to the worst criminals instead.

Granted, you now live a completely uneventful life instead.

I wish classes wouldn't start before 10am.

Granted, classes start at 3 p.m. but they continue up to 11 p.m.

I wish rainy days would be less frequent.