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1The Azuraku Clan Empty The Azuraku Clan Wed Oct 30, 2013 5:20 am

Juggernaut

Juggernaut


D-rank
The Azuraku Clan Lotus

Clan: アズーラ (The Azuraku Clan)

Kekkei Genkai: 無限の美しさ Mugen Utsukushi (Meaning, Eternal Beauty)

Elements: Katon, Doton

Specialization:
Primary: Kugutsu
Secondary: Ninjutsu and Taijutsu

Location: Scattered

Clan History:

Many centuries ago, rumors had been spreading of people being abducted, and used as puppets. As the rumors continued to spread, it became a legend. Many believe it to be true, and many believe it to be a myth. But whether they want to believe in it or not, it happens, and we do exist.

My clan, The Azuraku was formed many centuries ago by a puppet master named Daichi Azuraku, who is now long dead. Daichi Azuraku had somewhat 'special chakra'. With this 'special chakra' of his, he was able to create an entirely new element, which he used to use on his puppets. This particular element is unlike any other. It is able to attack, defend and even change it's density ad form from solid to liquid and even into gas. Not only was it strong, but he also found it very beautiful. So he began to make his puppets from this element. Which he had called 'Mugen'.

As time had gone by, he began to become obsessed with not only his marvelous creations, but 'Mugen' itself too. He became so obsessed with his new art that he began to assassinate other Shinobi, and turn them into his very own puppets with this element. He continued to do so, and he had his very own collection of 'Mugen' human puppets. With the mixture of his 'Mugen' manipulation and his expertise in Kugutsu, with his puppets, his power was incredible. But, he began to become arrogant, and attempted to keep Hashirama Senju, the First Hokage as a puppet and tried to assassinate him. He did well, but failed, and died.

This special chakra of Daichi Azuraku flows throughout our entire clan. However, unlike him, I can control my abilities and my emotions. As new leader of the clan, I will bring our clan to greatness.

Kekkei Genkai Description: Mugen Utsukushi, meaning Eternal Beauty is the art of creating and manipulating an originally created element known as 'Mugen' to their own will. They are able to increase and decrease the density of the 'Mugen' and even change it's form from solid to liquid or even to a gas. They use this 'Mugen' for not attacking and defending, but also creating puppets. They have many uses with this element, but in battle, it can surprisingly be the ultimate weapon.

'Mugen' is a beautifully created element formed by our clans special chakra. It is the darkest shade of black, and it can be manipulated in many ways. It has a very strong solid form. It can be many forms, and these many forms can do many different things. It is used a lot in battle with the members of our clan, but it's main purpose is to create our powerful puppets.

This special chakra is recognizably special because only members of the Azuraku Clan are capable of using it. This special chakra allows members of our clan to morph and form elements freely, and allows us to have complete control over that elements molecular structure. This allows us to change the form of elements by changing their molecular structure. We found it difficult to change the molecular structure of many elements, but when we came to discovering and creating 'Mugen' we found it was very simple to change and morph it's molecules, so we stayed with the 'Mugen'. It was in fact such a simple element to change that we are able to change it's molecular structure from a Solid to a Liquid or to a Gas almost instantly.

Not only was this element simple to change and morph it's molecular structure, but in any of the three forms it is very efficient. When in it's solid form, it is very dense, and it can prove to be very difficult to damage. When in it's liquid form, it can be very thick, like mud, yet it can move very fast and it can prove to be difficult to escape from. When in it's gas form the molecules of the 'Mugen' can become so small, that they are even able to soak into the skin of living creatures, which can prove to be dangerous if then changed back into it's solid form. Members of the clan have complete control over this element. What makes it even more special, is that no one is able to use this element but members of the Azuraku Clan.

A significant trait about 'Mugen' itself, is that in solid, liquid or gas form, the element is exceptionally hot. So hot in fact that when made contact with, it can deal First Degree burns. Members of the Azuraku Clan have been so used to this element in fact that they are used to the searing heat. But not completely. If members of the clan use this technique too much, they will begin to be damaged by the heat of the 'Mugen'. We are also able to change it''s molecular structure by expanding the size of the particles that create the natural heat of 'Mugen'. This allowing us to make the 'Mugen' even hotter, allowing us to create extravagant burns, which can go up to even Second or Third Degree burns. We cannot cool down 'Mugen' below it's natural heat, otherwise it will lose it's effectiveness and simply crumble for it's molecular structure will become scrambled.

Members of the Azuraku Clan are able to use their special chakra and control such elements including 'Mugen' so well is because they literally soak their chakra into the molecular structure of elements, mainly 'Mugen' and from their, just like the art of Kugutsu we control the molecular structure and change it by expanding, shrinking or simply moving and changing the molecular make up in general. Allowing us to have complete control over this element. However, because we are so focused and attached to 'Mugen' members of nthe Azuraku Clan are limited to using only two basic elements. In my case, it is Katon and Doton.

Mugen:

Drawbacks:

. Since they were able to create their own element, they are limited to only 2 other basic elements.

. Arrogance runs through members of the clan, meaning in their eyes they can never flee from battle.

. Because of an unknown and incurable sickness that runs through the bodies of members of the Azuraku Clan, they will not be effected what so ever by any positive Medical Ninjutsu techniques. The sickness alone does nothing to our bodies, it just prevents Medical Ninjutsu from healing us.

. Because of their obsession with puppets, they can become very angry when their puppets are destroyed. When this happens, the user will be fueled with so much rag that they literally cannot use any Ninjutsu what so ever. This rage lasts up to 4 posts.

Members: Yenyu 'The Juggernaut' Azuraku (The Clan leader) (There is only one member of the clan so far, being me, but I am hoping for others to join)

Kekkei Genkai Jutsu:

Mugen Utsukushi:

Mugen Utsukushi:

Mugen Utsukushi:


Mugen Utsukushi:



Last edited by Juggernaut on Sun Nov 10, 2013 10:05 am; edited 8 times in total (Reason for editing : Fix 3)

2The Azuraku Clan Empty Re: The Azuraku Clan Wed Oct 30, 2013 6:35 am

Bokuden

Bokuden


D-rank
Gold manipulation like the 4th Kazekage falls under magnet release in the Narutoverse. The magnet release clan can be found in the Sunagakure clans section. Their name is The Karen-Suru I believe.

3The Azuraku Clan Empty Re: The Azuraku Clan Thu Oct 31, 2013 3:30 am

Juggernaut

Juggernaut


D-rank
I fixed it to make it original. Bump.

4The Azuraku Clan Empty Re: The Azuraku Clan Thu Oct 31, 2013 1:31 pm

Morrigi

Morrigi


D-rank
For your jutsu actually state how much it does. How much does it boost your strength? ten time, two million times? .1 times? ect. Same with slowing people down. How much does your cloud obscure vision, ect. Define the variable.

As for the SS rank jutsu, just to make sure you know. If the clan gives an SS rank jutsu, a member of the clan can not get their own SS rank jutsu, because you are limited to have a max of 1. Also due to the large power of SS rank jutsu they shouldn't be freely given, they need some kind of work to learn. It's ok if they don't cost ryo but some kind of training should be done to learn it.

5The Azuraku Clan Empty Re: The Azuraku Clan Thu Oct 31, 2013 2:54 pm

Bokuden

Bokuden


D-rank
Also, it just can't passively be as hard as diamond. Defensive properties and hardness vary by rank. Diamond level hardness is like S-Rank.

6The Azuraku Clan Empty Re: The Azuraku Clan Fri Nov 01, 2013 1:49 am

Juggernaut

Juggernaut


D-rank
Fixed a bit. Bump.

7The Azuraku Clan Empty Re: The Azuraku Clan Fri Nov 01, 2013 2:25 am

Juggernaut

Juggernaut


D-rank
Bump.

8The Azuraku Clan Empty Re: The Azuraku Clan Sat Nov 02, 2013 2:35 am

Juggernaut

Juggernaut


D-rank
Bump?

9The Azuraku Clan Empty Re: The Azuraku Clan Sun Nov 03, 2013 6:35 pm

Juggernaut

Juggernaut


D-rank
Umm bump?

10The Azuraku Clan Empty Re: The Azuraku Clan Sun Nov 03, 2013 7:06 pm

Bokuden

Bokuden


D-rank
If you are making an entirely new element that can be manipulated in so many ways I'm leaning towards this clan being completely unable to learn any other elements. Either way, a new element will likely have to be reviewed by an administrator or Global moderator. As it is now I don't have the authority to approve this. But in all honesty you are asking to create a custom element that can be manipulated in any form of matter and its abilities and limitations are not nearly specific enough. Also you would need significantly more drawbacks to get a power like this. Frail alone does not cut it and an obsession with puppets is not a valid drawback. And the way you have all five elements in the app seems like this clan has the ability to use all five base elements which is not okay. At all.

11The Azuraku Clan Empty Re: The Azuraku Clan Sun Nov 03, 2013 10:53 pm

Juggernaut

Juggernaut


D-rank
Fixed again. Bump.

12The Azuraku Clan Empty Re: The Azuraku Clan Tue Nov 05, 2013 2:49 am

Juggernaut

Juggernaut


D-rank
BUMP

13The Azuraku Clan Empty Re: The Azuraku Clan Tue Nov 05, 2013 2:50 am

Yōsei

Yōsei


S-rank
Can't look atm myself, but I'm gonna give this to everyone now.

14The Azuraku Clan Empty Re: The Azuraku Clan Tue Nov 05, 2013 3:08 am

Ayabozu

Ayabozu


D-rank
First things first, when you're making new elements, you really have to go into detail on what makes them different as well as how it can be used and what the element is capable of and why. Remember that if another person is apping jutsu from this clan, they need to know almost everything or the bases on all the ways and hows this element can work, so, you need to kinda give a brief of how the chakra works, why it works, why its different and what makes it special. The Nara clan are a good example of a clan that does this. ^^

Moving on your downsides need a little bit of work. "
. Our clan members generally have frail bodies, and can be hurt very easily. The reason why this is, is because their clan member generally focus on their Kugutsu and Ninjutsu rather than their own physical bodies."
and "
. Their obsession with their puppets are huge, so when one is hurt, or even destroyed, members of the clans anger could take the better of them."
Aren't actually downsides, because the way you have worded them means that i can chose not to. You could write something like that when their puppets are hit, their connection to them makes them feel the blow as if they're feeling the puppet's pain, as if the puppet is a living thing. and for the other, you could make rage restrict jutsu use, or something, cos they cant concentrate.

Then jutsu, your jutsu values aren't in line with the site, we don't run in +5's. Saga uses a rank system, as you do with the jutsu, and +'s mean they get +1 rank. Getting +5 would mean going up +5 ranks... which on this site system is...... ludicrous. that's genin -> kage in one go.

A rank jutsu can give a +1 to ONE thing... so you'd need to re-evaluate those as well.

15The Azuraku Clan Empty Re: The Azuraku Clan Tue Nov 05, 2013 6:40 pm

Juggernaut

Juggernaut


D-rank
BUMP

16The Azuraku Clan Empty Re: The Azuraku Clan Wed Nov 06, 2013 3:37 am

Juggernaut

Juggernaut


D-rank
BUMP

17The Azuraku Clan Empty Re: The Azuraku Clan Wed Nov 06, 2013 2:10 pm

Morrigi

Morrigi


D-rank
You have not fixed the A rank jutsu as Aya asked. Please make sure all that was asked is done before bumping.

18The Azuraku Clan Empty Re: The Azuraku Clan Wed Nov 06, 2013 9:24 pm

Juggernaut

Juggernaut


D-rank
I increased the rank of the jutsu if that is fine. I fixed it up a bit. BUMP

19The Azuraku Clan Empty Re: The Azuraku Clan Thu Nov 07, 2013 2:32 am

Juggernaut

Juggernaut


D-rank
BUMP

20The Azuraku Clan Empty Re: The Azuraku Clan Fri Nov 08, 2013 10:55 am

Juggernaut

Juggernaut


D-rank
BUMP

21The Azuraku Clan Empty Re: The Azuraku Clan Sat Nov 09, 2013 7:20 am

Juggernaut

Juggernaut


D-rank
BUMP

22The Azuraku Clan Empty Re: The Azuraku Clan Sat Nov 09, 2013 9:59 pm

Morrigi

Morrigi


D-rank
How does katon and Doton fit the clan? If it dosn't you should simply put "none". Same goes with specializations. Just because there is something in that field dosn't mean you have to take it on a character.
You have several grammatical errors, like stating that they use the Mugen for not attacking and defending. Then saying they also use it for making puppets. Being able to change matter into other matter, even if just mugen, is kind of similar to dust release, and it needs to either be removed, or some limits on it. The degree of burns that the mugen can do should be based on the rank of the jutsu using it, and not on it itself. Sense this is a clan app and not your personal character app, you should not be including references to your character's abilities.

Are you making this a new element, or just a special form of chakra use? If a new element then detail what it is weak to and strong vs.

You have several drawbacks despite not actually getting any bonuses beyond the new element.

Again you can not prevent others from joining your clan, it is open to anyone who wants to join it. Please fix this... again.

Mugen Utsukushi: Usuzuri - You are not using Doton and Katon. You are using your clan's ability. Please detail how much slower you become. You can have this jutsu block a single jutsu of one rank higher than it, or two or equal rank. As it is it is close to pointless sense it has so many drawbacks and is subpar to other defensive jutsu.

Mugen Utsukushi: Miziriki - Denied you can not have a SS clan jutsu.
If you change it's rank then. You can have the jutsu maintable do you can keep it active as long as you are willing to pay the chakra cost on top of the base, or have it be a static amount with a one time cost. You say it makes them stronger, but you don't say it actually increases the strength. Please make this match. Also what does this "+1" to defense do? Is it that all attacks are treated as one rank lower?
Again you say stronger and more durable without stating they increase in strength or defence.

Mugen Utsukushi: Oshinku - Chakra cost is pretty high, you can lower that, and bump the burns to third degree. And remove the self damage part. and probably lower the cooldown to around 5 post

Mugen Utsukushi: Yenzuru - Sense this can be used to instantly kill another person with a touch, it is Denied in it's current form.

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