Clan: 津堅 (The Tsuken Clan)

Kekkei Genkai: ドラゴンズ怒り Doragonzu Ikari (Dragons Wrath)

Elements:

None.


Specialization:

Primary: Bukijutsu and Taijutsu
Secondary: Fuuinjustu and Kuchiyoshe

(Members of the Tsuken Clan are born with two of these specializations. )

Location: Scattered.

Clan History:

The Tsuken Clan were originally worshipers of the legendary Dragons. They greatly respected the, and wanted their legendary power. They were very close with the Dragons.

Since they were so close with the Dragons, and had extraordinary power, they were arrogant. They were planning on destroying the 5 Nations. They thought of the Senju Clan as a threat, that they were not worthy of existing So they blindly challenged them. They of course fell to the hands of Hashirama Senju and Tobirama Senju. Many of our clan members died, but many fled to the mountains, and survived. They were forced to stay in hiding.

As many years had passed on, we had appointed a new leader to our clan. He was very wise and fair. Unlike our ancestors who seeked the demise of the 5 Nations, he made a truce with them. A truce which they had accepted.

Now that there was peace, many of our members had left our hideout to live within the 5 Nations. Our clan was scattered. Because of this, our hideout was left abandoned, and our clans secrets had forever remained a mystery.

Kekkei Genkai Description: Since our clan was very close to the Dragons, we were able to use some of their power. 'Doragonzu Ikari' was created and perfected by our clans founder. This technique was passed on through generations.

Many Shinobi are able to fuse other elements to create new elements. Our art is similar, although what we do not fuse or create any elements for we cannot use Ninjutsu. We are able to form a powerful force which we call 'Inizu'. This force is created with our clans very special chakara which we obtained by being close with the Dragons. We concentrate our chakara at such a high level, that it molds into a Physical or Spiritual form (Depending on how much concentration we put towards molding this force will depend on how dense it will be. For there are attacks which require to defend, and others to attack. So some forms may require to be physical, and sometimes it may require to be spiritual.) We are able to use this force to attack and defend.

Since we obtained this force from the Dragons, when we are using it in battle, it will form into the form of a 'Spiritual Dragon' and all of it's of wrath is used to attack. Giving it the name 'Doragonzu Ikari'. (Dragons Wrath)

Since it requires the highest amount of concentration of our chakara, and masterful precision:


. Our members must train vigorously to be able to master the art of concentrating their chakara perfectly, and to be precise to use the force 'Inizu'. However there are many risks in using this technique. If it is not trained to perfection, it can be very dangerous on the user. This art must be trained to such levels - 4500 word count A.

. Any member above the rank of Genin are able to use the 'Doragonzu Ikari'. This is because it requires a great amount of chakara concentration. The lower the rank, the greater the risk.

. The 'Doragonzu Ikari' becomes more powerful the higher the users rank is, due to the greater amount of chakara and greater experience.


Drawbacks:


. Their Kekkei Genkai can be very dangerous to the user if not trained well enough, or if not used with enough concentration or precision. If it is not done right, they will be severely damaged by the 'Inizu'. It can even kill the user.



Members: Azazel Tsuken (Clan Leader)

Kekkei Genkai Jutsu:

Spoiler:

Spoiler:

Spoiler:

Name: Doragonzu Ikari
Canon/Custom: Custom
Rank: B-SS
Type: Offensive and Defensive.
Element: None
Range: 10m - 650m (It depends on which technique of the Doragonzu Ikari you use, however, if using simplistic attacks of the Doragonzu Ikari, then the range can go up to 10m - 50m)
Specialty: Only members of the Tsuken can use it.
Duration: (It depends on which attack of the Doragonzu Ikari is used, however, if using simplistic attacks of the Doragonzu Ikari, then the Chakara Cost is 20 for every time a simplistic attack is used. If using a simplistic technique, the duration is Instantaneous.)
Cooldown: (It depends on which attack of the Doragonzu Ikari is used however, if using simplistic attacks of Doragonzu Ikari, then the cooldown is 2 posts)
Description:

Doragonzu Ikari is what our clans style of battle is called. It is what we use as a clan to perform our special jutsu. There are 3 main jutsu which involves using the Doragonzu Ikari, and there are also simplistic attacks which involve the use of Doragonzu Ikari. The absolute focus and concentration is required with the Doragonzu Ikari to be able to use these jutsu.

. A special force formed by our clans special chakara called 'Inizu' is what is used in battle when using the Doragonzu Ikari.

. A flaw to this art, is the lower the rank of the user, the higher the risk of hurting themselves by using this art.

. Every member of the clan above the rank of Genin are able to use this technique. For every jutsu is B-Rank and above.

. There are also simplistic attacks which can be used when using this art other than the 3 clans main jutsu. It requires the manipulation of the force 'Inizu', where the user is able to create the hand of a Spiritual Dragon from the ground using this force. There they are able to use it, to strike the enemy, or defend from attacks. Although, the hands can only defend from Taijutsu attacks for there is not much concentration of chakara used in using these simplistic techniques.

. Another simplistic technique is by focusing the force 'Inizu' to the users hands, where they are able to fire 'spheres' of the force 'Inizu'. This is the most basic of the Doragonzu Ikari art.

. There are only two different simplistic attacks which can be used with the Doragonzu Ikari, for they require very little amounts of concentration of chakara.

'Fuse every element'? You're going to have to detail this further....since no one is allowed to use all five basic nature transformations.

What technique are they able to use at any rank? Detail this.
If you want the technique (whatever it is) to become more powerful, make the jutsu that performs said technique a scaling jutsu (rank B-S, for example).

Being unable to use Medical or Ninjutsu are not drawbacks. If you make a clan locked out of some specialties, it only shows you weren't planning on using them in the first place.

If you want to give a training cost (with word counts) for using your Kekkai Genkai at higher ranks, along with actual tangible consequences if you don't. (Death, backfiring of jutsu, etc)

Now, for Jutsu.

Dragon Arts: Akazuri ~ This is a B-rank technique. Normally, B-rank defensive techniques on this site can block 2 techniques of equal rank, or 1 technique of one rank higher. Saying you can block anything, even Genjutsu, is not okay for a B-rank defensive jutsu. To boot, you're miscalculating your range; 100m is a very big radius for not even allowing people to enter. Susano'o is on this site, and it is by no means unbreakable. Denied.

Dragon Arts: Zurishinzu ~ This one isn't too bad, as it also requires another jutsu be active as a prerequisite. You just have to detail what degree of burns it deals at each rank. Also, tone down the ranges by at least half on D-rank, and by 150-900 on the others. I am not letting you cover a square kilometer of land in fire.

Dragon Arts: Rinkuziro ~ This is a Fuuinjutsu, as you are sealing something. Also, this should require a tangibly higher chakra cost, as you are sealing a person away. In addition, you'll want to say to where they are sealed, and how.

I fixed it up a bit, I think. Also i'm still quite new here, and i'm confused, so what exactly is a word count?

Specializations: Why are there two for each Primary and Secondary? Are you saying you have to take one of the two for said specialization?

Kekkei Genkai Description: Just realized...When you said any member is able to use 'Doragonzu Ikari', are all your clan techniques included in that? That is a problem, since Genin can't use B-rank jutsu without their clan saying something like 'they can use Doragonzu Ikari techniques of one rank higher than their rank would normally allow'.

Also, you detail Doragonzu Ikari itself as a technique, but do not list it as a clan jutsu. You will want to do that, as it can 'get stronger' as you increase in power as well.


Drawbacks: I already told you that not having Ninjutsu is not a drawback, since you probably already planned out a character that doesn't use Ninjutsu.

"Their Kekkei Genkai can be very dangerous to the user if not trained well enough, or if not used with enough concentration or precision. If it is not done right, they will be severely damaged by the 'Inizu'. It can even kill the user."

^Tell me how you can train well enough. Just as you can train your elements/specializations (see the Guidelines), perhaps you can train your Doragonzu Ikari up to certain ranks to be able to use techniques based on it without any risk. A wordcount is simply that: a count of how many words you've written. It shows that your character has put effort into training whatever it is they are.


Jutsu.

Dragon Arts: Akazuri ~ Its range increases with your rank? That can't happen unless the jutsu itself scales between ranks (which it may). I would recommend making this jutsu D-S rank to reflect the power of the caster.
As a side note, one jutsu cannot defend against all Taijutsu and Bukijutsu attacks, especially when not regarding rank.

Dragon Arts: Zurishinzu ~ This jutsu cannot have no duration, unless it is a one-shot jutsu, in which case the duration would be Instantaneous. The ranges for C-A are still way too big. Detail the degree of burns at each rank; as it stands, your D-rank jutsu deals third-degree burns, which is not okay. Also, you don't specify how you manipulate the flames. Does your dragon breathe the flames? or what?

Dragon Arts: Rinkuziro ~ Your ranges are enormous. It is impossible (if your clan member is aiming at all) to dodge a 400m radius of a sealing beam, without a super-high-speed movement jutsu. Not to mention the target still sustains serious injury if they're within 800m of the beam. Cut these ranges by 8. This is essentially a one-hit kill jutsu; treat it as such. These kinds of jutsu aren't something you should be able to toss around. Also, how much chakra does this thing take to cast? I would imagine it's a lot.

Dragon Arts: Rinkuziro ~ Add 'Fuuinjutsu' to the Specialization field.

Fixed it up a bit.

Bumped

Is the option Bukijutsu and Taijutsu with Fuuinjutsu and Kuchiyose the second option? Or bukijutsu or taijutsu and Fuuinjutsu or Kuchiyose? Having two primaries stated with an "and" connecting them is a bit confusing.

Please properly formate your Kekkei Genkai and the drawbacks. The bad parts of it should go in the drawbacks section, like having to due extra training, being dangerous, inability to use specializations ect ect. While having what the Dragons wrath can actually do in the Kekkei Genkai Description area.

Is it possibly to use the technique without the training? and if so what are these "dangers". How does the "risk" increase with rank? And having jutsu that scale with the user's rank and not the jutsu's rank is a no. You can boost your jutsu's power, but you can't have them boosted by simply your rank.

Doraganzu Art: Akazuri - This seems like a Ninjutsu, and unless you can validate it being otherwise it should require Ninjutsu.Iis it basically a shell of 50 meters around the caster? Or they can make the shield anywhere with in the 50 meters(despite you saying that it wraps around your body). Also 50 meters area is a bit much for a shield. What level of Bukijutsu and Taijutsu? Is that basic attacks or including jutsu? A defensive jutsu is able to withstand two jutsu of it's own rank or a single jutsu of higher rank before breaking.
If the shield pushes them back you should lower the rang, becuase pushing someone back 50 meters in a moment then it is pushing damn hard.

Doragonzu Art: Zurishinzu - All of the ranges are a bit too high, with A rank being very high. Again seems like a Ninjutsu. The 30 chakra cost is regardless of rank? So even the basic D rank, which normally only costs 10 chakra, costs 30 chakra now? Increase the cooldown for this powerful of an attack. At the end of the first paragraph you have all the flames doing third degree damage, while later on you have it scaling. The scaling is more correct so please remove the last sentence of the first paragraph. Does the absorbing of the heat in the area actually do anything by the way?

Doragonzu Art: Rinkuziro - Denied due to sealing of human.
If you remove it's ability to seal humans then you need to detail what kind of injuries the beam can do. If you can only use it once per thread then simple have the cooldown be "once per thread". Detail what kind of injures the user takes if the dragon misses.

Doragonzu Ikari - You can not have an SS rank jutsu from your clan. The ranges need to be listed for each rank, and as it is 650 meters for an S rank it to high. Actually fill out the template. Much of the jutsu seems to be simply restating the clan's KKG. How can they use this hand to attack/defend, and what kind of attack/defence can it do? Due to it being both an attack and deffence jutsu it will not be as good as if it was one or the other. What do theses "Spheres" of force do damage wise? Chakra wise you have to use the basic amount of chakra as a minimum required for all jutsu unless there is a very good reason not to, and saying they are special isn't a good reason. All in all this jutsu seems like it should just be broken into multiple jutsu.


Most of the stuff I'm saying seems to be repeating of what the last person that modded this said. Please don't let that happen again.