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1Tensei Clan Empty Tensei Clan Thu Jun 06, 2013 6:41 pm

Riku Tensei

Riku Tensei


D-rank
Symbol:
Tensei Clan Tribal_lotus_by_amakoro-d3c5woi
Clan: Tensei

Kekkei Genkai: Ascendancy

Elements: None

Specialization: Ninjutsu

Location: Scattered

Clan History: When concerning the history of the Tensei clan, one will run into many dead ends and pick up a few wild rumors and fantasies along the way. The clan has always kept an aura of secrecy about them. They, for the most part, keep their abilities, numbers, and even their existence from the general public for a number of reasons. A good portion of their recorded history has been stolen or destroyed by members of the clan, but a keen researcher may find a scroll or two.

The clan originated in Kirigakure, allegedly dating back to the village's founding, but records are scarce. The ninja the clan brought up trained within the village as usual and some even took on important roles (Because of the clan's abilities, many became either hunter-nin or researchers due to their heightened intelligence), but they kept to themselves still.

As civil war began to ravage both the Water Country and the Mist Village, the Tensei clan was often pushed to the front lines. Their abilities were highly sought after and soon, a reputation as big as the Uchiha's began to follow them around. Some were forced to aid in the wars and the clan almost entirely vacated the village, heading out into the wilds to avoid the turmoil they were being pulled into. As a clan who did not share their affairs with others, it was understandable that they didn't enjoy when they were put into the affairs of others.

Though the clan respected one another, they held no family values. Goodbyes were said and many small groups headed off their own ways. For years the Tensei clan felt scattered and paper thin, but this only strengthened their numbers as each group took up residence elsewhere, some within the other Shinobi villages, and grew from their. Size-able clan estates can be found within each of the Five Great Villages and smaller ones can often be found in the minor villages.

Clan Characteristics: Members of the Tensei clan can often be noted by their appearance. Their skin is a pale color, almost sickly looking. Their eyes are the most noticeable feature though. The sclera is a deep black rather than white and their irises are always bright colors, sometimes even neon colors. Additionally, their hair is always silver, white, or grey.

Each member has a strong god complex. They see themselves above the rest of the population due to their own innate talents, but they do not discriminate because of this.

Kekkei Genkai Description: Ninjutsu is the clan's primary focus. While their skills can be mixed together with a variety of other styles, left up to only the creativity of the individual members, their skills are ninjutsu, but not in the traditional sense. All of their abilities stem from the mind. Telekinesis and telepathy are the most prevalent, but other psychic abilities exist.

As all of the clan's abilities stem from the mind, they do not require hand seals to perform. They still drain chakra as usual, however. This is good as the clan relies heavily upon their own abilities, gaining +30 to their total chakra pool.

    Name: Telepathy
    Type: Positive
    Description: A Tensei can speak using nothing but their minds, projecting their voice into the head of their desired target. They can choose to single out an individual, a select group of people, or speak to the masses around them as if they were verbally speaking. The voice will easily be distinguishable as the individual using this ability, as their mind's voice will sound exactly like their own. It will not, however, be able to be traced back to the host, as what would be the point of this ability otherwise?


Drawbacks: Because of the clan's reliance upon their own techniques, they've slowly developed over time to forgo the usage of elements. Members these days are born without elemental chakra entirely, only able to use non-elemental techniques. Additionally due to the clan's strong god complex, all shinobi must take the foolhardy special characteristic.

Members:

Riku Tensei

Kekkei Genkai Jutsu:

Name: Telekinesis
Canon/Custom: Custom
Rank: C
Type: Supplementary
Element: N/A
Range: 15 meters
Specialty: Ninjutsu
Duration: N/A
Cooldown: 2 posts
Description: One of the two most widely used of the Tensei clan's techniques and also one of the few that is known to the public. With the sheer power of their minds and a little help from their chakra, they can lift and move objects from considerable distances away. A Tensei can only lift about 50 pounds at first and it increases by an additional 50 with each rank but increasing by 100 at S, topping out at 350 upon achieving SS-rank. Objects lifted can be thrown, reaching speeds up to three times as fast as they could physically throw. Once an object is moved/thrown outside of the Tensei's control radius, they obviously lose control of the object.

The upkeep of this jutsu is -5 per post. This jutsu cannot be used on an RPC without the creator's permission.

Name: Burst
Canon/Custom: Custom
Rank: B
Type: Offensive/Defensive
Element: N/A
Range: 2 meters
Specialty: Ninjutsu
Duration: N/A
Cooldown: 5 posts
Description: Burst is a technique that serves as both an offensive and defensive technique simultaneously. The Tensei will compress telekinetic energy and chakra in the center of their being and release it outward in a spherical blast around themselves. The power from this is moderately strong, able to push back shinobi up to equal rank to the user. Anyone two ranks or lower than the Tensei will be sent spiraling backwards and someone of higher rank will only stagger back very briefly, becoming nothing more than an inconvenience. Projectiles can also be pushed away, such as kunai and shuriken.

Name: Barrier
Canon/Custom: Custom
Rank: S-rank
Type: Defensive
Element: N/A
Range: 5 meters
Specialty: Ninjutsu
Duration: Indefinitely
Cooldown: 3 posts
Description: The barrier technique does exactly what one would assume with its name. The Tensei creates a spherical telekinetic barrier around themselves, similar to the burst technique. This sphere, however, will remain until the user deactivates it. It is the epitome of defensive techniques, allowing a Tensei to block nearly anything. This barrier can cancel out most jutsu. As a price, the Tensei is drained of chakra equal to 1.5x the cost of the jutsu which hit their barrier. Any weapons or melee attacks hitting the barrier will cost 15 chakra to negate.



Last edited by Riku Tensei on Wed Jun 12, 2013 12:45 am; edited 7 times in total

2Tensei Clan Empty Re: Tensei Clan Fri Jun 07, 2013 3:31 am

Binsu

Binsu


D-rank
Reading minds can be used to Metagame, not sure if this would be allowed.

3Tensei Clan Empty Re: Tensei Clan Fri Jun 07, 2013 5:53 am

Riku Tensei

Riku Tensei


D-rank
What if I added in that it required too much focus to be used in combat? It's more meant for the character I had planned to become a hunter-nin/interrogator. If that's still too much, I can remove it entirely.

4Tensei Clan Empty Re: Tensei Clan Fri Jun 07, 2013 9:42 pm

Guest



Guest

Name: Telekinesis
Canon/Custom: Custom
Rank: C
Type: Supplementary
Element: N/A
Range: 10 meters, increasing by an additional 10 for each rank.
Specialty: Ninjutsu
Duration: N/A
Cooldown: 2 post
Description: One of the two most widely used of the Tensei clan's techniques and also one of the few that is known to the public. With the sheer power of their minds and a little help from their chakra, they can lift and move objects from considerable distances away. A Tensei can only lift about 50 pounds at first and it increases by an additional 50 with each rank but increasing by 100 at S, topping out at 350 upon achieving SS-rank. Objects lifted can be thrown, reaching speeds up to three times as fast as they could physically throw. Once an object is moved/thrown outside of the Tensei's control radius, they obviously lose control of the object.

This jutsu has a cost of 2 chakra per post after initial activation and increases by 2 with each rank. This jutsu cannot be used on an RPC without the creator's permission.

"Range: 10 metres, increasing by an additional 10 for each rank."

So, it works like this?
Genin: 10 metres
Chuunin: 20 metres
Special Jounin: 30 metres
Jounin: 40 metres
Sannin: 50 metres
Kage: 60 metres

That's still excessive as hell, being able to control things with your mind in a 60, 50, 40, hell even a 30 metre bubble. Also, it's a C rank move, so what's with this talk of 2 chakra per post after initial activation and increasing by 2 with each rank? It makes no sense. Since it's not a continual activation it can't have a reduced chakra cost after it's first use.

Name: Burst
Canon/Custom: Custom
Rank: D-A
Type: Offensive/Defensive
Element: N/A
Range: 5 meters - 20 meters
Specialty: Ninjutsu
Duration: N/A
Cooldown: 3 posts
Description: Burst is a technique that serves as both an offensive and defensive technique simultaneously. The Tensei will compress telekinetic energy and chakra in the center of their being and release it outward in a spherical blast around themselves. The power from this is moderately strong, able to push back shinobi up to equal rank to the user. Anyone two ranks or lower than the Tensei will be sent spiraling backwards and someone of higher rank will only stagger back very briefly, becoming nothing more than an inconvenience. Projectiles can also be pushed away, such as kunai and shuriken.

20 metres for throwing equal ranked shinobi around is a bit overkill. Also it's a D-A rank but you've made no distinction between each rank.

Name: Barrier
Canon/Custom: Custom
Rank: S-rank
Type: Defensive
Element: N/A
Range: 5 meters
Specialty: Ninjutsu
Duration: Indefinitely
Cooldown: 3 posts
Description: The barrier technique does exactly what one would assume with its name. The Tensei creates a spherical telekinetic barrier around themselves, similar to the burst technique. This sphere, however, will remain until the user deactivates it. It is the epitome of defensive techniques, allowing a Tensei to block nearly anything. This barrier can cancel out most jutsu. As a price, the Tensei is drained of chakra equal to the cost of the jutsu which hit their barrier.

Is the barrier visible? What happens if someone punches the barrier? What if someone is within the 5 metre bubble zone when you activate it? What happens to weapons that hit the barrier? What happens if the barrier is hit with an SS rank technique that it can't absorb? Also 3 posts after deactivation to reactivate is too short.

5Tensei Clan Empty Re: Tensei Clan Sat Jun 08, 2013 6:03 am

Riku Tensei

Riku Tensei


D-rank
I reduced the range to 15 meters, regardless of rank. Is that better? And the reduced chakra cost is for if the object lifted with Telekinesis is held for more than one post. It would have the normal chakra cost when activated and, if I continued to hold the object, it would cost 2 chakra the next post (or however much more it is due to my rank) and the next post, and the next, and so on. When I actually use this technique again to lift another object, it will have the full cost.

Burst now works for 2 meters and is no longer multi-ranked.

The barrier appears like a translucent bubble around the user. Its outline would be visible, but it is otherwise entirely transparent. Still, it would be noticeable. I added an additional portion explaining if a melee attack where to hit the barrier. If a barrier is hit with any technique that it cannot absorb, it will disperse and the user will take the full damage. The range has been reduced to 3 meters and, if someone is inside of it, nothing would happen. In fact, they would become protected by the barrier as well and, if it were an enemy, the Tensei would be screwed lmao.

6Tensei Clan Empty Re: Tensei Clan Mon Jun 10, 2013 7:23 am

Guest



Guest
Variable chakra costs for maintenance are not allowed except maybe for E-ranked techniques. D-B ranked techniques take -5 chakra per post in addition to activation cost, and A-S rank techniques take -10. No exceptions.

Burst looks fine.

Barrier should have -10 chakra per post if you say indefinitely. It can't hold itself if you don't have the chakra to do so. In addition....What Tatsumaru said. SS jutsu aren't exactly easily blocked. I would feel more comfortable if you had the cost of the jutsu plus some amount of chakra. It should take more effort to completely cancel a jutsu that's already coming at you than to initiate it.

7Tensei Clan Empty Re: Tensei Clan Tue Jun 11, 2013 9:36 pm

Riku Tensei

Riku Tensei


D-rank
Edited the chakra upkeep of Telekinesis accordingly.

Edited barrier to cost 1.5x the chakra. Is that acceptable? Also noted that it cannot block SS-rank techniques.

8Tensei Clan Empty Re: Tensei Clan Tue Jun 11, 2013 10:55 pm

Guest



Guest
Well. Just noticed a few things:

Telepathy. I don't like that they're actually hearing your voice. That automatically makes it an auditory Genjutsu and thus a technique in itself. If you want it to be so that they just have the words floating in their head and know they're not their own, go ahead. When you think, you don't actually 'hear' yourself anyhow.

Chakra pool bonuses are a meh. Only two clans have them, and they're canon. You'll need admin permissions for this.

On your jutsu:

Telekinesis is depicted as having multiple ranks. Fix it one way or another, either giving it multiple ranks or removing the description of them.

Barrier's Duration should say: -5/10 chakra per post.

9Tensei Clan Empty Re: Tensei Clan Tue Jun 11, 2013 11:27 pm

Riku Tensei

Riku Tensei


D-rank
I didn't mean they literally heard the voice with their ears :P But it would definitely be a voice which could be identified as foreign and, if the person was familiar with the Tensei, they could tell exactly who the voice belonged to.

I can't recall right now, but I recall seeing at least one custom clan give a +20.

The multiple ranks mentioned in Telekinesis are referring to the Tensei's rank, not the jutsu.

Why -5/10? Why not just 5?

10Tensei Clan Empty Re: Tensei Clan Wed Jun 12, 2013 5:20 pm

Guest



Guest
Still, I'd like Telepathy to be taxing on you in some way or another. Maybe limited uses per topic, a cooldown, etc.

I would not know of said custom clan. Chakra pool bonuses are not something you get easily, especially with Kekkei Genkai jutsu besides.

I'm pretty sure the technique can't get stronger without the rank going up; just because you get more powerful doesn't change the rank of the technique. 

It should be just -10, never mind. That's the standard maintenance cost for an S rank.

11Tensei Clan Empty Re: Tensei Clan Sun Jun 16, 2013 5:16 pm

Riku Tensei

Riku Tensei


D-rank
Trashing this and making another clan.

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