Mission Details:

Ess yawned. Boredom had a way of creeping its way towards people and slowly taking over. Her valets were on their monthly day off, but had taken precautions and left her with anything she could want - her favorite food, assorted drinks, her musical instruments in case she wanted to compose anything and a good book to read. They had brought over the same tent the four of them had used in Sunagakure, made of silk and cotton of may perfectly coordinated shades. Still, Ess had never done well on her own. Ever the social butterfly, she liked being surrounded by people and having something to do. Her mind needed to be occupied with something, be it whatever it may. What was currently around her wasn’t enough.

She lay on her bed - a comfortable futon on the ground - in her pajamas despite it being the middle of the day. The sleeping garment had been a recent acquisition from, found in Konoha’s little shopping district. The blue shirt read the words Weaponized Autism. The pajama pants had little white rabbits on them. Her hair hung loose over her shoulders, since she had insisted that she didn’t need her servants’ help to tie it up today. She could manage a simple bun if she wanted to go out.

Not for the first time that day she wished her Darling were in Konohagakure. Alas, he had gone off elsewhere to continue the investigation he was hired to pursue. It was something about a serial killer in Kirigakure, right? Well, something along those lines. Though she understood why he wanted to keep doing detective work, she still wished he had chosen to go sightseeing with her instead. She didn’t know how long it had been since he had visited the Land of Fire, but it had been around 50 years for her. Or hard it been more? Time was an iffy thing to a dragon. When one lived for thousands of years, it often became hard to track exact dates.

With a sigh, she got up from her bed. She did her best effort to fold the sheets the way she saw her servants do every day. The results were subpar, but she was satisfied, considering she never did these things herself. The young princess looked at herself in the mirror. Her hair was a little tangled on her antlers, but she could fix it. Best to pamper herself and look nice if she wanted to go out into town. She spent a while brushing her hair and applying some make-up, but decided that her pajamas were a good enough outfit to wear in public. She slipped on a pair of slippers and headed outside.

The day was warm and the sun shone brightly overhead. The skies were clear, dotted only by a few white clouds here and there. Ess could tell that the weather was about to change, though. It would likely become colder in the coming months. At the very least, she was grateful that the heat was nowhere near as oppressive as it had been in Sunagakure. Dry weather did her skin no favors, but at least moisturizer was a thing that existed. The village itself was definitely an improvement, but that was a given, considering Suna’s current state - or lack thereof. Ess wandered aimlessly through the streets at first. She had yet to go visit a lot of the important museums and sites, but didn’t really feel like sightseeing. Instead, she went to the administration building.

She had heard that certain shinobi missions were available to guests and outsiders. Maybe she could try her hand at one of them. When she reached the Administration Building, she headed directly to the Mission Board. Her eyes scanned over the many fliers posted, all with the stamp marking them as approved by the village bureaucrats beforehand. “Hm… dog walking? No… Teach a class? Maybe… No, I don’t want to collect someone’s taxes… Oh this looks good!” She said, settling on one of the missions. She took the slip of paper between two perfectly manicured hands and read the request more closely. There was a land dispute in a nearby village that required some intermediation. All she had to do was go fix it and make sure that no one got hurt in the process. It sounded simple and afforded a good opportunity to go visit the countryside.

Ess walked over to the counter and presented the slip of paper to the woman behind the desk. The woman gave her a strange look and hesitantly took the paper. Her eyes lingered over the words printed across Ess’s very large chest. “One mission, please!” the young dragon said happily.

“Alright, name, rank and village. I’ll pull up your registry,” the woman said. Her tone screamed I don’t get paid enough for this. Ess stayed silent for a moment. Registry? Rank? Village? She had none of that. She didn’t even live on this planet, technically. Her smile didn’t falter, though. She pulled out a small bag of gems - diamonds and emeralds - and dropped it on the desk. She casually slid the bag over to the woman. “What are you doing?”

For a moment, Ess said nothing. “My name is Ess,” she stated. The woman looked at her, expecting the rest of the information she needed. Again, Ess remained quiet and smiling.

The woman sighed. “You’re not registered, are you?” She asked. Ess simply shook her head. The woman sighed. “Fine, I’ll get you set up,” she said, taking the small bag of gems to check what was inside, assuming it was to pay for the registration fee. She nearly dropped it. “Holy mother of -!” She looked at Ess, bewildered and shocked. “Who are you?” She asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

“I told you, I’m Ess” the green haired girl said happily.

The woman quickly filled out several files. “Here you go. Please leave. And… try not to get yourself killed.” She handed Ess the registration papers and the pouch of gems. She watched the green haired girl with antlers leave, probably more confused than she had been before.

Ess, meanwhile, hummed happily. She knew where she needed to go and what she needed to do. Adventures were such fun. Really, she should have come to the world of humans sooner. This place was the ideal vacation spot. Maybe she could convince some of her siblings to come visit in the near future.
It took her about half a day to get to the farming village. Shifted back to her dragon form, she glided atop the canopy of trees, feeling the fresh air caress her mane and scales. She landed at the farming village. In retrospect, introducing herself as a dragon first might not have been the brightest idea. The villagers that saw her ran desperately, even though she had been careful not to land on any of their crops. Her efforts were overlooked. Rude.

A larger group of villagers came back soon enough, led by what she assumed was the village elder. “Begone, mighty beast! We have not paid tribute to your kind in centuries and we refuse to start now!” Said the old man. He tried to put on a brave front, but Ess could hear the slight tremble in his voice. Under any other circumstance, she would have exploited that for her own amusement, but she had a job to do right now.

“Hey, no need for tribute. I’m just your regular old shinobi, sent from Konoha to help you guys settle that problem you have with your neighbors,” she explained.

The man visibly deflated and took a deep breath. “Oh thank god,” he said, clearly relieved.

The old man led her to a clearing where the two representatives had decided to meet when the mediator showed up. “We appreciate you coming here to help,” he said as they waited for the other group. The old man’s entourage - young men from the farm - were scattered across the area. “We’ve owned the deed to this land for years. They say they have the same deed, but that’s not possible and now they want to start cultivating this land. You have to stop them,” the man pleaded. Ess nodded. She wanted to listen to the other side of the story first before making a decision, though.

“You! How dare you-” began another old man, surrounded by an equal number of bodyguards as the first. This had to be the other leader.

“Aight, cut the crap. No banter will be had today. Hand over the deeds  and we’ll get this going,”[/b] Ess interrupted. She inspected both pieces of paper. They were without a doubt identical. “Hm… So turns out you’ve been scammed. Whoever sold the land sold it twice. So we can do one of two things. The Land of Fire can either take back the land-” at this there were multiple shocked gasps.

“But we worked for three generations to buy it!”

“You can’t just take it back!”

“This is government interference!”

“OR,” Ess spoke above their voices. “You can split it down the middle - 500 acres for each.”

If the first option had been unpopular, this one was a complete catastrophe. The poorly armed guards from both sides charged at the dragon. ”Now, now, people, let’s not get it twisted, yeah?” Ess began. She was still quite relaxed, despite the tensions around her and the outward violence. They tried hitting her with different farming implements, someone going as far as to try to stab her with a kitchen knife.

Ess yawned. “You know, y’all can keep at this all day. The result will still be the same, guaranteed,” she said as the metal implements kept bouncing off of her scales harmlessly. It didn't even bother her. Her skin was too rough and hard to feel much more than a little poke, like constantly wearing heavy armor. She lay on the ground, waiting for the farmers to tire and finally notice that their best attempts got them nowhere. Maybe a minute or so would do it, depending on their stamina. It was about half a minute before they were all panting. “Y’all done now?”

Through the calm and silence, one farmer broke through the ranks. He wielded his pitchfork and ran at the dragon princess, his weapon aimed at her eye. His movements were predictable, belonging to someone that lacked any sort of formal combat training. She extended one clawed hand and wrapped it around the shaft. In one swift tug, it was out of the man’s hands and thrown across the field. “Bitch, I will cut you,” Ess threatened. “You’ve been at this for ten minutes. You should know by now that that silly little pitchfork ain’t gonna do shit, aight? So sit tight and listen or I swear to every god I will rip your house from the ground and eat it in front of you.” The man immediately backed down, dropping his improvised weapon and holding his hands up to show he was harmless. “That’s better,” the young dragon said happily.

“Like I said, you’re going halvsies. Learn to share. It’ll be good for you. Now sign these papers. You guys get the easter half of the 500 acres, you guys get the western half. Capisce?” Ess said, pulling out the property papers from a small satchel tied around her back. The pieces of paper looked comically small between her claws. Dejectedly, each elder signed. “There you go. See? Easy. Job well done. Now go back and do your own shit and try to get along,” she instructed.

Maybe things hadn’t gone as smoohtly as she had hoped, but at least it had been better than sitting around and doing nothing. She would have to come back to the quaint little villages in her human form to get a taste of rural life in the Land of Fire. In the meantime, best to get back to her current home.

WC: 2039: