How long has it been? Fuyuko was no longer able to tell. It could’ve been 2 days or 2 weeks, it all felt the same at this point. The long lonely dark nights that she struggled through for how long she cannot remember. It has been effecting her in every way possible, she isn’t performing well. Cannot keep a proper state of mind through a training session, a mission or even simple daily tasks. Her mind trailing to thoughts she did not want to think about. A few hours of sleep a night was all that she was getting and slowly but surely it was starting to take a toll on her. She had to get away from the village for a bit. Clear her mind, be in a place where she knows she’s safe. A place where she can find comfort in the arms of another. Not be surrounded by the daily tasks that her current life was giving her. She needed to go back in time, to a place where there were no real expectations of her. A place where she can just be herself and she isn’t required to be someone else. Because that’s what the Shinobi life is asking her. Be something that you don’t want to be.

Yes she has loved being a shinobi. Helping people in need, people that weren’t able to take care of themselves. She loved and thoroughly enjoyed helping them. The gentle and warm smiles she got from a lot of people, that genuinely appreciated what she had done for them. Those feelings of gratefulness has had her going for the time she was a shinobi and was faced with rather difficult eye openers. Sure she had imagined that the road of becoming a ninja wasn’t easy, but nothing could’ve prepared for this. At least not at the place she grew up. Not in the safety and comfort of her parents’ house. That place was far too sheltered from the world for her to know how it works. There was no way she could learn how the cogs spun of men. How the gears of the world grinded. No for that she needed to be in the place she was in. A place that was brutally honest, one that wasn’t hiding it’s pimples with make-up. No Kirigakure was the best place to learn how the clock really ticked.

There was a time that even in Kirigakure everything seemed to be going well. Her first mission went by smoothly, retrieving the lost cats. Just a bunch that had too much energy and needed a playmate really. Just thinking about the little goofballs is putting a small smile back on her face. However that smile just wasn’t going to last. This is because it would almost instantly remind her of the other mission she had done within the village borders. A pervert, that was abusing his ‘power’ over the weaker ones. Abusing the fact that the younglings that came in to work in that store, that just wanted some job experience, knew nothing of the world as well. Now, thinking back in this moment, she realizes that  those younglings that worked there before her, they are or rather were, just like her. They had no idea how everything worked, that if they just banded together against him, they would be able to stop him. She was only really able to stop him because she knew that the threats he made towards her meant very little. Because there was no way for that guy to threaten her job security. The only one that could do that was herself, by breaking the rules.

Speaking of breaking the rules, that has been the topic most of her life after that. Well, maybe topic was the wrong choice of words. It was the thought that lingered her subconscious and eventually conscious mind the most. She had always believed, ever since she was saved as a young teenager, that even those whom had broken the rules, should be trialed. See if they truly deserved to be killed. But the village had a polar opposite view to that, no matter the crime you had forgone, it was punished with equal or worse severity. Which in almost all the cases meant you were going to be killed if caught. It didn’t matter if you had saved a family from a burning house, the village would show no mercy. She was able to see the benefit of such ruling, in general it made the streets a lot safer, someone would definitely think twice before they would commit any sort of crime. But just killing them didn’t feel good to her.

With those feelings, the feelings that just straight up killing people wasn’t ‘righteous’, she had a talk with someone about the topic. And who better to have that conversation with the person that enforces all the rules. The one that made these very rules, the Mizukage. That conversation was definitely an eye opener for Fuyuko. It made her questions the very things she had so believed in up till that point. It was quite obvious the Mizukage had a millennium worth more wisdom than she did. She had been in the churn, she had gone through the motions of the village, she truly knew how things worked. So it wasn’t all that surprising that she had turned Fuyuko’s world upside down. By no means had she done this to her with ill intent. On the contrary, it was a learning moment for Fuyuko. Make her realize that the world wasn’t so naïve as she was. That the world didn’t look through the same rose-tinted glasses she was. All whilst in the ‘save’ environment of the village. As far as one could call the ninja villages save and especially the lives of the shinobi.

To top it all off, the feeling that been growing inside of her since she had returned from her latest mission. She had succeed in her task with flying colors. The construction works she needed to protect plus their project came out unscathed. But it was more about what else she didn’t do during it that had left with a bad after taste. She had to face off against a bunch of bandits, but much of the fighting itself is a blur to her now. Except for that one screech. That screech that pierced her eardrums and shook her wide awake. The look the man had as he was desperately trying to extinguish the flames that were slowly consuming him. After that she looked around and decided she had enough of it for now, if the bandits were willing to give up. But she knows, she knows what she did back there was wrong in the eyes of others. The eyes of her companion for that mission for instance. Nozomi had been so kind to her and it was a great pleasure being with her. The words Nozomi spoke to her were sort of congratulatory, but the tone and her body language said different. Maybe nothing bad, Fuyuko was not quite sure what it did say, but to her it was enough. Enough to know she had failed in her seniors eyes.

And so with her mind all in shambles she has decided to step away for a bit. Reflect on what has happened on how she could potentially improve. Was she capable of becoming a killer, was she willing to conform to the rules of the village. Or would she continue on to challenge them, whichever she would end up choosing, she had to be certain about it. That it was the path she wanted to go down. But that decision wasn’t one she wanted to make at home. That decision should be made at the last place where she decided on something life altering. At the comforts of home.


wc 1337

The wind blew between the trees. Rustling the leaves on the branches and the bushes on the ground alike. It was ever so slowly picking up the pace on her journey homewards. A pretty hefty storm was coming over the country once more. It was nothing she wasn’t used to, she actually quite enjoyed it when a storm would come by. It was a nice change of pace and it was beautiful in its own way. However not wanting to get completely drenched Fuyuko picked up the pace herself, she still had quite a long way to go before she would reach home after all. The clouds were slowly creeping up on her as she looked up into the sky. The first clouds weren’t that bad looking, they were just a light shade of gray, but they were only there as a kind of warning for what was to come. Because behind those clouds was a thick blanket of darkness. It was going to be quite a big storm.

She kept on running on a fast pace, but not too fast. She wanted to make sure her stamina would last all the way. She was running a marathon after all and not a sprint. However as to be expected the clouds would slowly pass her by. With the first few clouds just leaving small droplets to fall down and crash into the earth. But most of them fell down and collided against the trees and their leaves. Starting to almost sing a small melody. It started slow, like the intro to a song. Increasing its pace as time progressed, smoothly flowing over into the first verse. Where the droplets would fall faster and faster. The instruments are almost incapable of keeping up with the conductor, while still somehow sounding harmonious. Fuyuko stopped in her tracks. Standing beneath the pouring rain and listening to the orchestra. Listening to the beautiful song that nature was putting up. Soaking it all in.

Being alone out in nature felt comforting. The embrace of the cold rain warming her. It felt good to be outside in the open again with no responsibilities at that moment. Just her and nature. It wasn’t as good as being within the walls of her parents’ house, but it came damn close. Having spent most of her time outside when she was younger this did feel like a second home. She twirled around as the droplets came falling down on to her. It didn’t take long for her to start sneezing. Her soul might have been warming from the feeling of embrace from nature. But her body wasn’t enjoying it as much. With her lacking a lot of sleep her system wasn’t able to keep and defend from the foreign invaders. She ran to a tree that was close by to get as much shelter from the rain as possible. But the damage had already been done to her body, she could feel her temperature rise already.

Having nowhere to go she had to think of something to keep herself a little warm. Make sure that her body wasn’t going to get too cold. She scrapped some branches together that were lying close to the tree. She tried to ignite a small fire, but it was to no avail. The branches had already become to soaked for them to be able to catch fire. All there was left now was to hope that she would be able to hold on until the storm passed and find some place to rest afterwards. She waited and waited but the orchestra didn’t seem to have an end in sight. Patiently listening to the tune it was playing she eventually collapsed.




When Fuyuko came to the orchestra could be heard faintly in the background. It was dominated by the sound of crackling firewood. A little disoriented she looked around to get a feeling for where she possibly could be. She seemed to be not that far into a cave, maybe about 5 meters in. When she looked behind her there was a man smiling politely at her as if to say that there was no need for her to worry, that he meant no harm. “Where am I?” she asked sounding a bit dazed. “We’re in a cave not far from the main road. You laid collapsed next to a tree during the storm so I picked you up and brought you here. Put up a campfire to keep you a little warmer.” He replied whilst still smiling. Fuyuko thought about it but she didn’t seem to be able to recall too much from it. She could only really remember the slow big cloud that came rolling in in the distance. After that most of it was a blur to her. “Thank you… for saving me.” She said still a little bit dazed, but with a genuine smile.

Silence fell in the cave as she wasn’t quite sure what to say or ask. While the man didn’t seem to want to intrude too much and let her get a better understanding of her bearings. But eventually he would speak up again. “So, what were you doing out there? What’s the reason you collapsed?” She thought about the possible reasons for why she could’ve collapsed and although she wasn’t quite sure, the thing she thought of did sound quite plausible. “Well, I’m on my way towards my parents, they don’t live in the big village, they live somewhere remote. As for why I collapsed, I’m not quite sure myself, but what I think happened is that my body couldn’t keep up anymore. I’ve been sleeping rather bad lately, so I think my immune system is a little bit worse. I probably got too cold in the rain and just collapsed from it.”

The man seemed like he wanted to continue the conversation, but was somewhat hesitant. He seemed caring and didn’t want to intrude on her personal affairs, yet eager to find out about it though. “Feel free to ask anything.” she said. The man chuckled and scratched the back of his head. “Was it that obvious that I wanted to know more? Well since you gave me permission to ask anything, I will ask the things I want to know more about. So, is there any particular reason for you to be going to your parents other than to just see them? Also why have you been sleeping not so good lately? Are you going to your parents’ house and not sleeping well related by any chance?”

Fuyuko was slightly surprised by the directness the man showed when she gave him permission to ask her anything making her chuckle lightly. “Did I say something funny?” he asked with a puzzled look. “No no, I just found it amusing how at first you seemed hesitant to ask anything, but then once I gave you permission to speak freely you just fired away.” Her reply put a small smile on the man’s face as he seemed to agree with her.

“Well I suppose that me going back to my parents’ house is related with me not sleeping well. But more in the sense that I need the guidance of my parents over the thoughts that run rampant through my mind that are keeping me awake.” Having woken up a bit more she was able to inspect the man she was with a bit more, he seemed to be a bit older, maybe up to as much as 15 years older. She wasn’t quite sure with the beard he had going for him. It was a little miss guiding, there were patches here and there as if he was just starting to finally grow a beard. But it might as well have been that this was the way his beard grew. Regardless, she thought to herself that he might be able to give her some more insight in what was ‘righteous’. Help her deal with her thoughts.




“I’m just going assume you don’t mind me asking you something, and well if you do then just say so. But I’ve been struggling with what the right thing to do is. For the last couple of yours of my life I’ve been training to become a shinobi. One that would change the system, because I don’t feel like it’s justice. I don’t believe that someone’s life should be taken away because they have committed a crime. Even if the crime is really evil, I still feel like they should be trialed. Only be punished with equal severity to what they inflicted upon others. Potentially serve time in prison. That is what I had believed until I got to the village. It was only then that I learned that there were no prisons. I had a conversation with the Mizukage about this very topic. What does it mean to be alive?” She sighed a little bit before continuing with her story.

“I always thought that just having a beating heart and be able to do things was enough to be ‘alive’. So living in a prison and doing things for the village, mining ores or doing laundry or whatever, anything for the village would be beneficial. But the Mizukage thought otherwise, to her someone was already dead the moment you take away their freedom. They also resigned their right to live when they commit a crime. And I had never thought about it that way, that taking away someone’s freedom could be considered taking away their life. It was a rather shocking and revolutionary to me. With that thought in mind was struggling a little bit, coping just fine. That was until I had to do a mission where I was defending the construction of a fort. It was attacked in the early evening. Me and my partner fought it off, but I let them go at some point, telling them this was pointless and that they should go. We were slowly winning the fight. My partner said I fought well, but I could tell she was somewhat disappointed or something in how I handled it. They should’ve been punished and I just let them walk away.”

Fuyuko dropped her head looking down into the palms over hands. Remembering the fight on that bridge. That deafening screech and the blood stains she had created using the blood of the thugs. Silenced followed as she presumed the male was collecting his thoughts on the matter, it wasn’t an easy topic to talk about. She would raise her head towards the man while a tear rolled down her face when he would finally decide to speak up on the matter. “Aye… that’s not an easy task you’ve put on your back there lady. It’s a rather noble effort of you to want to change the way the village is operated. But is it really something you should concern yourself with? Please don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying you should forget about it. But wouldn’t it be easier if you didn’t think about it until you’re actually capable of changing the system? And just follow the system until you are in that position.”

He was giving some okay facts on the matter. Maybe it was a little foolish of her to think that a stranger that may not have to deal with things like these, could give her the answer she needed. He then continued on talking. “There’s also another thing. What happens if you let them go? Do you think that after showing them mercy they will just quit doing what they’re doing? I don’t want to be rude, but it’s pretty naïve to think of you. Kirigakure is not known for its compassion for criminals, everyone knows that if you stray of the right path, into the path of ‘darkness’ you will be slain. Everyone that goes down that path knows that if they are caught there will only be death awaiting them. It may be a cruel system, but it works, it’s effective. Crime rate is really low in the country because of that philosophy. So now that you’ve let those guys go, they can learn from this, better prepare themselves for the next attempt at criminal activity.” He paused a little before he would continue on, just a little bit of time to make sure Fuyuko was able to get all of the information.

“Let me propose this hypothetical scenario. They criminals you’ve let escape, they’re now recovering their wounds. Presumably building up more anger towards the village, which has to go at some point. That ‘bubble’ of hatred has to pop at some point. Well what if the next time it’s going to burst there is no one near to stop them? They will be able to spread their evil doings freely, harming more innocent people, simply because they didn’t get stopped. Because you couldn’t stop them. Now I’m not, criticizing you for not finishing it off in the moment. I’m sure it’s incredibly hard for someone new to the world of shinobi to grasp it, especially for someone who seems to not be completely familiar with how things are run in Kirigakure. So I suggest you to kill, not because they deserve to die, but to kill so that no one else is caused harm. Detest the act of it all you want, but you have to do it.”




More and more tears have started to stream down Fuyuko’s face. She would make no sound, just silently endure it whilst listening to the story. The man was right. She doesn’t have to kill because they deserve it. She can kill so that no one else will be hurt. The man smiled politely at her once more and got up and walked outside of the cave. “It looks like the storm has passed, I better get going again.” He waved one last time before he disappeared from her sight.

Now Fuyuko was alone again in the cave. She patiently waited a couple of minutes to be sure the man would be far enough away so she wouldn’t be heard. Like flood gates had opened tears really started to come down her face. Loudly crying as if a mother had just witnessed her child perish in front of her. This would continue on for minutes until she had released all of her pent up emotions. She was unsure how to feel about the whole thing. She felt guilty for letting them go however, that part she knew for sure. But should she pity herself for being so weak? Should she hate herself for letting the criminals go that could now potentially cause harm to the innocent. These were things should could continue pondering about while she continued her journey home.


wc 2543
twc 3880

On her way homewards she pondered and pondered on the thoughts going through her mind. But eventually she gave up trying to figure it out on her own. There was no way she was going to be able to answer them alone. She just simply didn’t have enough experience to know the answers, however if she did. She had no clue where to find them. No idea where to look inside of herself to get the answer. No for that she needed the help from another once more. This time thought, not someone completely random. This time she needed the help from her parents, they would be able to help her out. They knew her like no other did.

With her mood slightly on the upswing, Fuyuko held her head up high and started sprinting in the direction of home again. Running through the forests where the leaves slowly dripped their droplets of rain. Small puddles of water in every direction you could look. Although she didn’t remember much of the storm, judging by the aftermath it was quite a strong one. It didn’t seem to have carried a strong wind however, there were almost no branches on the ground. There was just an immense amount of water on the ground, it was almost impossible for someone to take a step without at least splashing some water into the air. As she was running slowly but surely the sound of nature would come back, joining the sound the water droplets were making. Birds would start chirping again, deer rustling the brushes as they got spooked by someone getting too close. Another tear would slowly fall down Fuyuko’s face. She didn’t realize up till this point how much she had missed the sound of nature.




Having run for what seemed like an eternity, too eager to get back home, finally she would see those fields again. The fields that she had spent ages upon ages running through, playing in. The fields that her father attended to for as long as she could remember. The fields she would help him in whenever it was required. Her eyes peered over the fields looking for that oh so familiar sight she was longing for right now. It took her a little bit with her watery eyes, but eventually she’d find it. Her body reacting before she could tell it to move. It was already sprinting towards its target. When it got within striking distance she jumped and tackled it but making sure it wouldn’t leave any long lasting damage on her target. “What the hell is happening?” the man yelled. “I’m home dad” she replied back. The man laughed while replying back. “You never were like a normal kid, do you know that? Welcome home”.

After hugging her father tightly she got herself back up and helped her father get back onto his feet again. He quietly stared at his girl, as if he was in disbelief of being able to see her, yet there she was. In the flesh in front of his eyes, his baby girl. He stepped forward and gave her a good tight hug this time around. Fuyuko warmed up feeling his embrace, but at some point she had to start tapping him off. He might have been a little too eager to see her again, because if he continued hugging her like that she’d definitely end up as a pancake. “So what brings you back home? Don’t you have missions to do or more training?” he asked. His words sounded a little like she shouldn’t be here. That she should be at the village and be getting stronger, helping the nation. But his face betrayed him. It was just filled with joy. Shining like a sun from happiness. “Well dad, I should be training, but something has been on my mind and I need yours and moms help. I just need an opinion on something, but we’ll get to that when we’re in the house.” She replied with a smile, but accompanied by a tone that wasn’t all too happy.




Fuyuko pushed the door open, it still making the same creaking  noise as it has always been making. “Are you already done with your work for today dear?” a familiar voice asked. “No no, I’m not done just yet.” “Then why are you inside? You never come inside before you’re done with your chores.” “Well, someone came over to say hello.” Fuyuko grinned at the silly conversation that was going on and so did her dad. He wasn’t about the miss the surprised face on his wives face. Footsteps could be heard, getting louder and louder. At first only a foot was around the corner, quickly followed by the rest of the body. A smile of disbelief appeared on Fuyuko’s mothers face as well, just like it did on her fathers. Her mother covering her mouth with her hands and letting her eyes ask the question instead. They quite obviously were asking if it was really her. Fuyuko replied with a simple nod and a smile. A few second passed before the two walked towards each other and embraced one another. “I’ve missed you so my dear Fuyuko.” “I’ve missed you too mom.”

After the initial greetings they chatted it up a bit. Talked about how things had been going for the both of them. How life was going at home without her around. How things were going in the big village. The training in the academy to become a shinobi. Just a lot of talk about birds and bees really. Mainly to just get back up to speed on the things they have missed out in each other’s lives. But eventually it had to come. The conversation Fuyuko had slightly dreaded to start after enjoying the peaceful conversation about everything and nothing. Her tone saddened, her facial expressions turning gloomier. Silence fell on the room as her parents were giving her ample time to prepare for the conversation.




“So…. I’ve been having a little bit of an issue as of late. Because of that I haven’t been able to sleep properly for quite some time or do proper training. The thoughts that have been running through my mind have been consuming all of my time. Occupying about every second of every day for quite some time now. You remember the reason why I wanted to become a shinobi in the first place right? Well that very reason is giving me a lot of trouble at the moment. It’s very contradictive with how the village does its rulings. I want to spare peoples lives, punish them, but not with death. Imprisonment would be a good alternative in my eyes, they can be alive in there, contribute to society in some way. However the Mizukage seems to disagree with that. To her I have already sentenced that person to die, taken away their freedom only for them slave away and rot in a cell. She thinks it’s far more merciful to just kill them quickly and to be done with it. Furthermore not to waste valuable resources on creating those prisons, staffing them and everything else that comes around with locking up the prisoners.”

“Now I can understand the latter part from a practical sense. And her having said that I somewhat agree with it, but what really bothers me is the first bit. The part where she claims that a person is already dead the moment you take away their freedom. It was….. it came like a shock to me. I had not thought about it that way. That I would’ve already killed a person from the moment I strip them from all their freedom. Instead of giving it quickly, it would be done with time slowly devouring them. This put me a little bit on the back foot. It had shaken my resolve a little bit, but I was still carrying on. What really made me feel uneasy was when I did a mission in which I had to guard the construction of a building. Eventually a group of thugs showed up to destroy it. I and my partner defended it. At some point one of them was set ablaze by their own molotov cocktail. When that happened I just could take it anymore, I told them to keep going or pick themselves up and waddle away. My partner said I fought well but left it at that. Her body language told me enough.”

Fuyuko sighed deeply looking down towards the palm of her hands again. The hands that had drawn blood so easily from the thugs, but filled with regret. Filled with regret because she had failed in the eyes of her superior, she had failed the village. But also because she failed in preventing potential harm that group could cause in the future. The potential risk she had put on innocent bystanders. “I had a conversation with a man on my way here. I told him the same story I just told the both of you. He told me that I shouldn’t think too much about how the village is run for the time being, seeing as I can’t change much about it in my current position. Further he confronted me about the fact that I let the thugs go. How they could harm innocent people. Or how just because I showed them mercy won’t make them change their paths or erase the crimes they had already committed. ….. I just … I think I should end their lives, but I hate doing it. But I can’t let innocent people get involved. Does that make me weak?” she finished her sentence as she started sobbing.

Her parents quietly waited a bit with replying. Her mother embracing her child and telling her it was okay, to let go of all the feelings. With Fuyuko face buried into her mothers embrace her father started speaking to her. “I think it’s very brave of you to question such things and it’s definitely not an easy task. So anyone would understand your hesitation at trying to kill someone. It is after all definitely not an easy task. Nor should it ever become one. The moment you kill without feeling anything for it is the moment you lost it all. So it’s great that you put so much thought into it. Further don’t let it bother yourself too much that you let those man escape, it’s your first encounter. The first time you really had to deal with such a situation. We are both so very proud of you. As for what you should do, listen to your heart. You know best what you have to do. And no matter what you end up choosing, we will always support you.”

“Your father is right Fuyuko. If you have to kill other people in order to protect the country than you should do so, but that doesn’t mean you have to like it. I know that being raised so remotely has brought you some complications getting used to the village and how things are done there. But you’re doing wonderful. Learn how the world works, how humanity works. And if you still don’t like the system when you’re in a position where you could change it then work towards that. But regardless of what you end up choosing to do hun, we will always be there for you and we will always support you.” Fuyuko only responded with a small nod and snuggled in closer in to her mothers arms. She had missed her arms around her, the sensation of safety, the feeling that everything was going to work out.




It was the first night she had slept so well in a while. Her old bed was still as soft and as comfortable as she remembered it to be. Lulling her into a sleep with ease. However after waking up in the early morn by the sound of the roosters’ call she would quickly leave. There was very little time to waste for her now. She had to get back to training and she needed to train harder to make up for the lost time. The chuunin exams were coming up close and she wanted to see how well she would do against others. See how much she had improved since she became a shinobi. But more importantly see how much closer she had gotten to her goal. To be in a position where she could potentially alter the way the village operated. But for that she needed more power, and the exams were a perfect moment for her to see how far she had gotten up till that point.

The words her parents had given her and those from the stranger had given her mind some peace for the time being. She still felt bad about having let go those thugs, but what is done is done. There was no way for her to undo those actions and finish them off still. No, now she had to live with it and just learn from the experience so she could perform better next time. But would she be able to do it next time? It’ll only be the second time she is put in such a situation. Fuyuko slapped herself across the face to stop her trail of thought, she had to snap out of it. It was not a problem for the time being, it would be one for the next time it arises.

And so the young kunoichi travelled quickly back to the village, having gained a great deal of extra knowledge. Knowledge she could use to make better judgements in the future of what’s right or wrong. What she should and shouldn’t do and how to feel about those actions. The life of a shinobi wasn’t an easy one, especially not for one that grew up knowing nothing but peace. However she would adapt and conquer, she will find her way in this world. But for now, the exams were all that mattered.




[Exit Thread]

wc 2422
twc 6302

Training:
D-S: Lightning Release: Railgun - 3.5k wc + 500 ryo
D: Water Release: Sealing net - 750 wc + 80 ryo
C: Lightning Release: Static Armor - 1k wc + 150 ryo
C: Water Release: Drizzle Rain - 1k wc + 150 ryo
If 'C: Water Release: Drizzle Rain' is not approved then I'd like to train this instead: 'C: Minor Jutsu Sealing' for the same wc and ryo cost.

Total = 6250 wc + 880 ryo

discard 52 wc