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1Kezumu [Final] Empty Kezumu [Final] Tue Jun 06, 2017 10:18 am

Tré

Tré


B-rank
Symbol:

Kezumu [Final] BCJdXuJ





Kezumu [Final] FAHfQ33

Clan Name: 削無 (lit. "to whittle away to nothing")

Location: Scattered. May not start in a village.

Specialization: Any

Elements: Any



Kezumu [Final] HhU72Pp

Clan History:



Kezumu [Final] Y4syLuV

Kekkei Genkai Name: Kezumu [Final] 0eaYDT6 Umbral Curse (陰影罰半具, In'ei Bacchanbun; lit. "Cursed Umbral Tool")



Kekkei Genkai Description: The Umbral Curse is not exactly a Kekkei Genkai, as it is not a trait that is genetically passed down, nor is it even a Hiden because it's not taught. It is, rather, a rare chakra-system mutation that manifests within certain people, several of these victims gravitated towards one another, teaching each other techniques they developed and learned together to twist the Umbral Curse into something useful, it was this group of which happened to eventually call themselves the Kezumu.



The Corrupted chakra of the Kezumu has a warped nature where on contact it infects the chakra, temporarily corrupting it and making it, in a sense, too alien within the victims' system for them to be able to manipulate it normally. The Curse within the Kezumu themselves gives the user a dark and almost malevolent aura when looking at the member with a technique that would allow them to see chakra. The Chakra within their system looks sick and twisted like it has been irradiated almost. Though, to their benefit, when an opponents chakra becomes cursed, the cursed chakra in their system for the duration of the curse is almost impossible to hide from chakra sensory techniques with the users' stealth jutsu, as they are unable to mold the cursed chakra to make it invisible.



Finally, due to the intense focus on crafting jutsu and the molding of their own insanely difficult chakra, separating the corruption to use basic non-Umbral techniques is comparatively easy. Kezumu clan members receive +2 tiers to any stat as long as they are not channeling an Umbral Technique [Must be listed on character application. Can be done in any combination].



Umbral Techniques:


  • Umbral Techniques must be listed as 'Umbral' within the Element section of the technique.



  • To those who see 'Umbral' Techniques, they would note that something feels deeply wrong or 'sick' about their chakra, making them immediately identifiable on sight.



  • Umbral techniques are much harder to control than other jutsu, making them less powerful and far less versatile than other techniques. When made, Umbral jutsu must have the lowest damage threshold of a jutsu of it's rank and cannot have additional secondary / second stage effects beyond the Chakra Curse itself. (Ie, a cursed fireball that explodes on contact could be fired, but not one that fires which, with a second hand seal, expands into a cluster of many smaller exploding fireballs.)



  • On contact with an Offensive or Supplementary/ Debuff 'Umbral' technique the victim will feel the painful and uncomfortable sensation similar to being eaten by a potent alkaline as an amount of chakra equal to the base cost of the techniques' rank becomes corrupted and unable to be molded or manipulated by the victim for 3 turns. (Ie. a C rank technique when it hit a ninja would corrupt 15 chakra on impact, even if the C rank technique costed 20 chakra.) Should the victim become hit by another cursed technique, this counter is reset.



  • Maintained Umbral techniques curse an amount of chakra equal to the base chakra cost of a jutsu one rank lower per hit (though stacking a maintainable technique with a multi-hit technique will simply add the full base costs of both techniques together on impact, and curse and corrupt the combined sum. Ie, a C rank maintained umbral jutsu combined with a B rank jutsu which delivers 20 strikes in quick succession will curse 35 chakra, not 200.).



  • Senjutsu techniques add 5 to the base cost as normal, increasing the amount of chakra they curse on impact.



  • If the victim has no usable chakra left except cursed chakra, they are considered to be out of chakra and faint as if they had less than 10.






Drawbacks:



The Kezumu clan members, though they have largely made the best of their unfortunate situation, are still fundamentally ill in some way. The corruption is a curse that seems to becoming more and more common and has several adverse effects on the body.




  • While the Umbral curse can seem daunting for an opponent, it is not impossible to be-rid ones self of. So long as they would have the non-corrupted chakra to do so, the use of Genjutsu Kai or any jutsu which cleanses the chakra system of abnormalities, be they genjutsu / debuffs, will cleanse the umbral curse from their system. So long as the jutsu has a rank equal to the highest ranked jutsu which inflicted the curse.



  • Members of the Kezumu clan are still in some sense cursed as they would curse their victims. Reducing their total chakra pool. At Genin, Kezumu begin with -5 less chakra than other ninja, however, with each rank up, this reduction increases by a further -5 per rank. (To a potential total of -30 chakra at SS rank.)



  • Due to their mutation, Kezumu characters must begin with one of the 'Born Ill' , 'Pharmacaphobia' or the 'fatigue' Negative special characteristic which cannot be balanced with an additional positive.



  • Finally, as the Kezumu, due to their sick bodies are often geared towards dominating their opponents with aggressive rushes to tip the future scale of the battle in their favor, they prioritize offense for defense should they ever enter a serious encounter. As such, Kezumu clan members have -2 tiers to either their endurance or speed stat. [Chosen at character creation, must be listed on application. Cannot be same stat that received a +1/2].



Last edited by Tré on Sat Jun 10, 2017 8:03 am; edited 1 time in total

2Kezumu [Final] Empty Re: Kezumu [Final] Thu Jun 08, 2017 7:48 pm

N'Jobu Aburame

N'Jobu Aburame


C-rank
Fix missing spec line and include elements line as well.

3Kezumu [Final] Empty Re: Kezumu [Final] Fri Jun 09, 2017 9:24 pm

Issei

Issei


D-rank
Hey again!

The main thing about this clan that sticks out to me as funky is the permanent passive +2 to a stat on character creation that applies so long as the user isn't channeling an umbral technique, but the drawbacks section lists that they must have a permanent -2 to speed or endurance as well, so that seems balanced. The only change I would request you make concerning this is to clarify that this +2 still counts towards the +3 passive stat buff limit.

More nitpicky things: As Shiyuan said, there is nothing listed under specializations, so please put "Any". The element section is gone entirely, so put it back in and put "Any". You also say that "Umbral" must be listed under the element section of a Kezumu KKG jutsu, which doesn't make sense to me especially considering that this clan is not an advanced element and it doesn't even have an element section in the application, so list "Umbral" under "Type" along with Offensive/Defensive/Supplementary instead of under "Element".

http://www.narutosaga.com/t23427-new-organization-ninshiki#18669

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