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1Noroi Empty Noroi Sun Feb 05, 2017 3:44 pm

Okami Noroi

Okami Noroi


D-rank
Symbol:
Noroi STbIjpP


Noroi FAHfQ33
Clan Name: Noroi
Location: Scattered
Specialization: Medical Ninjutsu, Genjutsu
Elements: Raiton


Noroi HhU72Pp
Clan History: Long before chakra, jutsus and ninjas, men fought and they have died to protect what they believed in. River's were run with blood of next of kin, once brothers now enemy's, betrayal was not a strange thing in those dark times. The hunger for power ran through family's, that tore them apart. It lead to countless exiles and no exception were members from the Noroi clan. Once casted off from their family's, these faceless warriors that have been living in the shadow's for centuries, formed to retake what they were owed long ago.. or so they thought. Nothing more than a band of mercenary's, conceived from pain and misery of the poor and unprivileged, started taking any job's they could to reach the welfare they once possessed. Thievery, kidnapping, assassination, infiltration.. these were no strange things to Noroi. Their hand's were dirty, but whose weren't? As long as they gained influence and fame they didn't care. Quickly they were risen and proclaimed as one of the deadliest clan's, famed for their Bukijutsu. Many members off the clan joined in a lie that spread across the land's, that Noroi were taking people to teach their own skills to and spread their now newly found riches. The clan had no policy against letting strangers into their home, as they once were a bunch of lowlifes, so it broke as a perfect opportunity. As their rank's rose their greed and wickedness did as well. An organisation formed inside the clan, that went by the alias "The Originals". Strange kidnapping's and death went under the clans roof, blamed on their newly found enemies and infiltration. More year's passed and strange disappearances of children were not addressed. Some of them reaper, but were in some ways damaged. Some had traumas, other's uncontrollable twitches or strange behaviors, loss of sight, smell but than there were some that seemed perfectly fine... The one thing that was consistent between all these cases is that they had no memory of disappearing and some even had gaps in their own memory.

Many year's passed, and as the clan grew in number's and profit they spread across the land's. Strange occurrence's started repairing within the clan. Rarely, some infant's were born with with white hair follicles and purple eye color. Nobody knew what lead to this, but children at a certain age were noted to have changes in their eyes. Growing up, family member's of these children were reported to have had many medical problems, blindness, deafness, lose of motor functions, memory problems.. It all lead clan elder's to a conclusion that these children were at fault. A behest was given, capture and execute all the children with this degeneration. It rose little opposition, as the family's were mostly glad to get rid of the monster's. The clan's dark secret lived onward, rooted deeply nobody knew how was this happening and what were they hiding.. That is until one child of the main family rose. The kid that was soon to be born, would go on to unravel all the mystery that was hidden right beneath the clan's feet. His name was Assar. A child born of the main family was rather week growing up."The Originals" paid little to no interest to the little master, but that mistake they would pay gravely. What he lacked in strength he overcompensated in wits and intelligence. Growing up he had trouble understanding the way of his clan and their motives. He studied the Shinobi world, understanding all it's secrets and meanings, so that one day he may change the view of his clansmen. Right in the time of his adulthood, kidnappings intensified. His thoughts rose through so many question's, that most even not dared to ask. It was now obvious that the curse that beheld them was the clans fault. Assembling a force in secret, Assar's eyes and connections tracked every child in the street. It was a time of patience and time before they found a lead. Following it they found an entrance to a cave nearby. Restless to find out the truth, Assar ran in, followed by his own military force to find a detestable sight. The cave was filled with children in cages, dead and alive it didn't matter, they didn't care either way. Assar couldn't bare the sight off it, bowing his head he continued. Time was of the essence, but one thing was clear, whoever did this was going to suffer a cruel fate. They ran into some resistance, but the overwhelming force that has occupied the cave was to much for them. Each shinobi that was taken down was looked over by Assar. Some he knew, some not but this stomach turning pain he felt as they killed their brethren darkened his mind. Busting through the final door, they found a sight to gore to put in words.

The laboratory that was there possessed the tools that were used in experiment's on children. Different saws, needles, containers for spare organs.. All used in experiments on children, opening their heads and dissecting their brain's while they were still conscious and alive. Assar's force took them by surprise, and killed them all.. mercilessly. Assar was standing over them all, with his breath shallow and his eye's teary, as he heard a laughter. Tis was a man, coughing blood as he laughed. Approaching him, he noticed a pendant that was around the man's throat. It had a strange symbol, circular in shape with Gen no engraved in it. Ripping it from the man's neck Assar didn't care much for answers, as he instinctively crushed his throat with his leg, without blinking looking as the man chocked on his own blood. Turning to his companions, he ordered for all the children to be looked at. All dead were to receive a proper burial, and all alive one to be taken to the hospital. Assar couldn't believe the dark secret that has been running down the history of Noroi.. upon arrival into the small village he ordered all of the houses to be searched. If any were found with this pendant, they were to be killed together with their family's. The time for a purge was in order, as Assar lead his forces to other installments of the clan, cleaning every last one of "The Originals".. or so it may seem for now.
Members:Assar Noroi (dead)
                       Katrina Noroi (dead)
                       Okami Noroi
                       
To be taken into consideration when making a character:

Noroi Y4syLuV
Kekkei Genkai Name: Purple Shadow (紫の影, Murasakiiro no Kage)
Kekkei Genkai Description: Purple Shadow (紫の影, Murasakiiro no Kage) is a Kekkei Genkai that occurs rarely in members of the Noroi Clan. Murasakiiro no kage is created by utilizing Raiton chakra nature with the wielders eyes that allow him to see neural patterns in one's brain. By injecting his own Raiton chakra nature, from a distance, the user is able to manipulate electrical signals that are dormant in the persons brain, specifically in the nervous system, thus breathing life into his Genjutsu without the need for chakra pathways, Triggers are still required and mostly they are by sound, but they can also be the Noroi's eyes. Raiton is used to control the flow and polarity of electrical impulses in the nervous system to affect the body's functions, such as memory, emotions and thought, breathing life into the illusions formed by the Genjutsu making it quite potent.



  • People's chakra-based attempts to dispel Noroi's Genjutsu are treated as being 1 rank lower, because the Noroi don't target the chakra flow.

  • Their Raiton chakra is injected into one's body via their eyesight, that scales with the max range of their current active Norigan stage.

  • A person affected by Norigan's Genjutsu stays under the effect of the jutsu until they exit the Norigan's range, hide behind enough material so Noroi can't see their neural pathways anymore. For the duration Noroi have to maintain the genjutsu or it's effect's end.

  • Noroi are able to utilize whatever stage of Norigan they have obtained, in order to preserve chakra and for it to suit they needs. Norigan is to be kept in your Jutsu List.

  • [ONLY WITH 3. SPEC] Noroi are notorious for their excellent Bukijutsu skill and thus they eye for quality of the weapons used is excellent. They can bargain down the price for weapons by 20%, because of their eye for quality and detail.






Norigan: Basic
Noroi L3GHscL
This is a normal eye of the Noroi that they are born with. Except of it's unusual color, it work's just like a normal human eye.


Norigan: Stage 1
Noroi GmTS6BT
This is the first stage of Norigan the Noroi can obtain. They need to be D-rank/Genin level to do so. To unlock this stage a 2500 word training thread is requiered and 1000 ryo.

By unlocking this, they gain the ability to manipulate electric signals that move through the brain, like the ability to see, hear, taste, smell and feel things. Noroi are able to manipulate that, and thus change the way these signals are headed and how are they polarized.

Jutsu based ability's:

  • You use your senses to gather information about the outside world. All these sensations are changed into electric signals that run through your brain and the Noroi have been able to affect those neurons, that target the 5 senses.

  • When certain neuron's are connected you feel a certain way, your emotion's are determinate by the way these electric signals are polarized and transmitted, and as such Noroi can read them, and influence accordingly.


Inherent ability's:

  • Their eyes adapting to the new form give them +1 on Perception.

  • Noroi's eyes  are well adept at tracking and seeing neural pathways of other creatures, allowing them to see through organic materials or liquids indefinitely, but also through non living objects at 0.5m density.



To be able to use their skills they need to have their sight on the target that is within their 15m range. When active it consumes 5 chakra per post.




Norigan: Stage 2
Noroi 9sYd24L
The second stage of the Norigan. To obtain this you need to be C-rank/Chunin level and post a 3000 word training thread with 1500 ryo paid.

Advancing their sight's ability, Noroi are now able to change the speed of which these signals travel at and create false signals to move. As you detect pain, pressure, temperature, and the position and movement of your body, sensory neurons react to physical stimuli such as light, sound and touch and send feedback to the central nervous system about the body’s surrounding environment.


Jutsu based ability's:

  • By controlling the speed and the way neurons travel, Noroi can slow down or increase the speed at which electric signals travel at, changing the speed of which their brain receives and renders information. They are thus able to make someone's limb's feel languid as their brain doesn't send information's fast enough for their limbs to move, creating false electric signals that emit pain in one's body, increase or decrease the effectivity of the persons five senses.


Inherent ability's:

  • Noroi are able to manipulate their own electron's speed increasing Reaction Time by 1.

  • Noroi's advancing their sight allows them to now see through non living objects at 2m density.




The Noroi keep all the ability's of their previous stage's as well, and are able to use them all if they have their sight on the target that is within their 30m range. When active it consumes 10 chakra per post.



Norigan: Stage 3
Noroi NSQf6Dq
The third stage of Norigan can be obtained by being B-rank/Special Jounin level. You need to submit a 3500 words training thread with 2000 ryo paid.

The neurons are 'wired up' to each other, and communicate through thousands of connections – synapses. They formed pasterns that lead impulses to other neurons, creating thought's and active memories. The Noroi have learned to influence a persons cognitive processes such as memory and thought. Short-term memory is the information that a person is currently thinking about or is aware of. It is also called primary or active memory. Recent events and sensory data such as sounds or what the person is seeing are stored in short-term memory.


Jutsu based ability's:

  • Noroi can see the pathways that lead thought's, information about the world and they can interrupt them, change the patters in the brain's neurons that comprehend these abstract meanings leading to more powerful Genjutsu than before. They implement their own electric signals, jamming some nerve connections to overloaded the thought processes, create migraines that can be quite painful and lead to temporary lose of your actual thought processes...



Inherent ability's:

  • The ability to predict the actions of their opponent based off the neurons that move throughout your whole body is Noroi's specialty. Keeping their own Raiton chakra in the system of their opponents, they track the position, speed, polarity and in what pathways the signal is transmitted with to deduct even the slightest of movements and actions. This than projects a silhouette of the movement or action that the enemy will end up doing beforehand, allowing the Noroi to act accordingly ahead of time.

  • Noroi's advancing their sight allows them to now see through non living objects at 5m density.




To be able to use abilities and jutsu's of this stage and lower they need to have their sight on the target that is within their 50m range. When active it consumes 15 chakra per post. Norio keep all the ability's of their previous stages.


Norigan: Stage 4
Noroi 2ce1L7w
This is the final stage of the Norigan. You need to be A-level/Jonin class and must go through a traumatic experience. They need to experience such traumatic and emotional pain, that they wish to completely obliterate their own memory of that person and the day that happened. They need to write a 4500 word thread and pay 2500 ryo, and if accepted they completely wipe their own memory of that person and that moment, thus gaining this final stage of Norigan. This thread can be done with an NPC or with a player's character but you need to link a couple of threads together, showing the connection they shared before the tragedy.

When remembering an event, you recall not only what happened, but also how you felt – an emotional memory. Memory can be triggered by something you heard, saw or even smelt, at the time and Noroi at this level know how to utilize that information to their advantage.
Long-term memories are stored throughout the brain as groups of neurons that are primed to fire together in the same pattern that created the original experience, and each component of a memory is stored in the brain area that initiated it (e.g. groups of neurons in the visual cortex store a sight, neurons in the amygdala store the associated emotion, etc). Memories are formed when certain connections are strengthened. Indeed, it seems that they may even be encoded redundantly, several times, in various parts of the cortex, so that, if one neuron wiped out, there are duplicates, or alternative pathways, elsewhere, through which the memory may still be retrieved.

Jutsu based ability's:

  • By learning the pathways in which the long-term memory is encoded in, the Noroi are able to change the way they are connected, affecting specific neuron's in the pathway's or replacing some nerves with their own implemented versions and chaining the order they are connected in affecting the memory for a short period of time, before the brain recollects it's original neuron pattern, puzzling it all back together. They can't make somebody forget their ninja training, as that would require to much memory cognition, so they can influence certain parts only, like implementing certain figures into some parts of their memory, making them forget that they received mission and similar stuff. This memory change needs to be consensual, where the two parties can agree on an effect, and it's to be done OOC. The memory manipulation can only 2 rounds, before the brain recollects it's own patterns.

  • With the advancement of the previous Norigan, Noroi are now able to advance their hold over person's memory. They are able to get back senses, emotions, pain and all other thing's they used to control in one's body back to their neurons thought patterns from their opponents. In a sense, they could see what the other person is seeing, feel pain where they are feeling it and more..


Inherent ability's:

  • Advancing their memory and thought manipulations, they inherently are able to connect other minds, or rather their thoughts that are sent via neural patterns and thus create a communication link between multiple minds. In no way are they able to harm a person doing this, as they silently and harmlessly vibe their minds together.  They can not only get and send words to other minds, but also images, sounds and whatever the other person wants to send them or receive. If it's not words, but rather some other sense they for the duration lose their own sense.

  • Noroi's advancing their sight allows them to now see through non living objects at 10m density.




The Noroi keep all the ability's of their previous stage's as well. To be able to use their ability's Noroi need to have their sight on the target in their 70m range from the target, not needing to see them. When active it consumes 20 chakra per post.




Drawbacks:

- Noroi have to take Raiton as their primary element

- After they have learned the 1. rank of Norigan, Noroi have -1 to Perception rank when not using that stage

- After they have learned rank 2 of Norigan, Noroi have -1 to Reaction Time rank when not using this stage

- They can't take Mighty because of their more slender and fast paced build, and with that can't take Bulky as well

- Because of a big toll on their body, Noroi can only handle using Norigan for 3 rounds, before it becomes to much. They need to wait another 2 round's before being able to use it, and in that period they have -1 to Perception if they were using Stages 1-2 and -1 to Reaction Time if they were using Stages 3-4

- They are need to take Hesitant(Element), as they have trouble branching their skills in different element, without balancing with a positive SC

- They need to take Medical Ninjutsu as their primary/secondary/tertiary specialization because of their KKG

- Noroi have to take Genjutsu as their primary/secondary/tertiary specialization because of their clans heritage and history

- The third specialization is also available. Noroi usually take Bukijutsu as one of the 3 spec. They can take it as their primary/secondary/tertiary specialization. With that their ranks start with D/D/D instead of regular S/C. If they decide to take just Genjutsu or Medical nin they start with regular S/C. The next two drawbacks and the discount for weapons only applies if you have taken Bukijutsu as the third specialization.

- Opponent's have +1 to damage rank with Taijutsu based jutsu against Noroi , as they have grown up fighting against other Bukijutsu users

- Opponent's have +1 to damage rank with long/medium ranged Ninjutsu against Noroi , as they are well versed in weapon fighting since childhood and with their more closed off clan it's unusual for them to face off against much long/medium range Nin user's.



Last edited by RaMp4g3 on Sun Jul 02, 2017 8:29 pm; edited 29 times in total

2Noroi Empty Re: Noroi Wed Mar 08, 2017 8:58 pm

Ano

Ano


D-rank
Hiya there! I'm Zeke, and I'm one of the new clan mods! If you're still around and reading this, thanks so much for sticking with us! If there's anything that needs clarification, I apologize for my new-ness! Just ask for clarification <3

Learning the patterns of, and controlling the impulses within, the nervous system is most definitely Medical in nature.

For any application of the neural manipulation on someone other than the user, how is this accomplished? Do you use your own chakra remotely using this Doujutsu? Is it ‘injected’ and controlled from afar? We need some sort of methodology here, as another clan (the Zetsumei) also attempted remote manipulation of something different in the body and got denied for not having a method. Genjutsu are almost universally required to have triggers, so we need details here.

Stage 1: This is fine with the Perception boost for 5 chakra per post is though if you want to boost another person you would need a specific jutsu. The main issue is that you , but it can’t just...passively manipulate the senses and emotions, because that’s a jutsu; it must be applied for and have specific effects, approved by the Jutsu Mods so that we know it’s balanced. Whether or not this was the case, the wording seems to suggest an innate ability to do so; state that they can make jutsu requiring the Norigan that directly manipulate the electrical impulses rather than chakra. Genjutsu can manipulate the senses and emotions by default, so this is just a different means of doing so.

That being said, how does Genjutsu of this manner interact with the “Kai” technique, which releases via controlling the chakra flow? Are there alternate manners in which one can release a Naori’s Neural Genjutsu?

Stage 2: Should require more WC and possibly Ryo to unlock; this applies to all further stages as well. (Other Doujutsu also set this example - look on our Directory.) The RT buff is fine here; however, if you can also decrease the opponent’s at the same time - which the wording does not lean one way or the other on - that should require extra chakra.

Stage 3: This is essentially a pain-version of the Karisuma clan’s Stunning Eye (which, if I can help it, is being pulled for review). Loss of thought means loss of...well, everything. You can’t compel your body to move, you can’t do anything. This would likely be alright paralyzing parts of the body, such as one limb per jutsu. A full paralysis would be better suited for stage 4.

Stage 4: This ability’s tangible effect needs limitation. As previously stated, I would recommend that the mental shock of having one’s memories tampered with cause a full-body paralysis. After that, OOC permission would be required for additional effects, whether the memory changes stay, et cetera. (Of course, with OOC permission you can also replace the paralysis with something else.)

Also, since it’s a rather active ability, I would prefer that this stage simply give you the ability to cast jutsu that do such. (You’re free to give benefits in addition to this, since if we take away the inherent ability, it makes for a bit of a poor final stage.)

-

The drawbacks of not being able to take certain SCs, or certain specs, are not valid for balancing; it is generally assumed you were not going to take them anyhow. Likewise, forced specs and elements are not a valid drawback either, for the opposite reason; you were very likely going to take them anyhow. “Hesitant (Element)” as a forced SC is perfectly fine, just explicate that they cannot balance it with a positive SC.

What does “have +1” mean, in relation to the use of Taijutsu and Ninjutsu? Do you mean that taijutsu and ninjutsu do one rank higher in damage when interacting with a clan member? Also, please explain as to why only mid-to-long-range Ninjutsu gain whatever increase this is; close-range Ninjutsu have the same properties, just are not used at the same range.

That being said, the clan’s benefits-to-drawbacks balance is not bad inherently, seeing as how the Doujutsu requires chakra to use, has a drawback similar to Byakugan and Sharingan (minuses when not in use) and a couple other drawbacks. The real work here is getting straight how to make such unique abilities acceptable for Saga’s systems.

3Noroi Empty Re: Noroi Wed Mar 15, 2017 8:15 pm

Okami Noroi

Okami Noroi


D-rank
Hey, happy that someone replied.

Okay so I removed the Genjutsu and replaced it with Medical, since it made more sense now, and tried to explain it a little better it should be reasonable now.

Stage 1/2: fixed what you asked, hope it's all ok now

Stage 3/4: I agree with your idea of memory loss, but I wouldn't really call it that. I mean, It kinda is but more of a delay or something. And paralyzing an entire body was never going to be able in the stage 3, maybe in the 4. but who knows. Also, added some stuff to the 3. and the 4. stage so go check it out. I don't have much inherited abilities, apart from the silhouettes and similar, as most are jutsu based just to be cleared in advanced :D

Did some changes, nothing special with the drawbacks..

4Noroi Empty Re: Noroi Fri Mar 17, 2017 9:53 pm

Sol

Sol


D-rank
I was not clear, perhaps, before. While you can manipulate neural signals using Medical, affecting the mind is Genjutsu's territory, especially as your KKG description still contains nods to memory and emotion manipulation.

Stage 1 is A-OK, though I'd like some separation here; the innate ability of +1 Perception is fine in the eye, but the wording seems to suggest it's a property of the jutsu that result from the eye. Try and use the [list] code to separate each ability of the eye.

Stage 2 is also seemingly fine, just needs wording and formatting tweaks similar to the above.

Stage 3; as above, so below.

Stage 4's enabling of jutsu is fine, but it puzzles me why the chakra cost is upped when I'm not, at least initially, seeing any inherent ability you're paying for.

Please use extra spacing and/or the [list] code for your drawbacks. Simply makes things easier to read.

If I missed anything, just point it out.~

Cheers.

5Noroi Empty Re: Noroi Tue Mar 21, 2017 10:09 am

Okami Noroi

Okami Noroi


D-rank
Added Genjutsu back, think it's reasonably explained now. Don't know how better to explain it really :D

I prefer to stick with the current word formatting in the stages if you don't mind. The flow of words and how is it connected is going to be ruined if i nitpick and space some stuff out, as more things are connected in the same sentence yet I think it's understandable and without the need for a list.

Also, changed/added some stuff in the description, the 4. stage and drawbacks so check that out as well.





6Noroi Empty Re: Noroi Thu Mar 23, 2017 5:18 pm

Sol

Sol


D-rank
I'll go drawbacks first.

Just keep in mind when considering my modding that I don't put "must/cannot take spec or element X" into consideration for balance purposes. It's highly likely clan creators will/will not take the specs/elements they name as such anyhow, so the drawback is moot.

Define whether your Taijutsu drawback is basic hand-to-hand attacks, actual chakra-based techniques, or both.

Define what your drawback considers to be mid- to long-range; generally it is over 5m away, but you might think differently. In addition, does this mean that jutsu with a maximum range that's normally long-range does not gain increased damage if used within close range? (In other words, if a normally 40m-range jutsu is fired within your drawback's consideration of 'close range', does it not get the damage boost?)

Your last drawback really can't be quantified, so it's best if you remove it to avoid confusion; of course, if you can quantify it in a way that's meaningful, feel free to keep it.

-

Overall, I really need your flavor text in the initial (non-Doujutsu) portion of the Kekkei Genkai cut down. If you want to detail how some clan members use the Kekkei Genkai, that's for your history. With the amount of detail currently presented, it only serves to muddle what the baseline ability of the clan actually is; there's no need to mention here that people with Bukijutsu normally get killed.

The ability to detect Genjutsu cannot scale with your Genjutsu specialization rank; that becomes far too easily powerful even at lower ranks, when you can train your specialization as high as S or SS as a Genin. Please add it as an ability of each rank of eye, scaling as such. Also, please state in what manner it 'sees through' genjutsu.

'Affected users'...are we talking about victims of your Genjutsu? Mixing up 'user/caster' and 'victim/target' can lead to some misinterpretations; please correct this. At any rate, why do all forms of Genjutsu dispulsion act as 1 rank lower? I would imagine it would only work on chakra-based methods, like Genjutsu Kai; if not, you should explain further as to why they gain this advantage for all purposes.

For all your special Genjutsu, does seeing your target replace the need for a trigger, or is this, rather, an additional requirement to use the special neural-manipulation method? The wording is a bit ambiguous here.

-

Stage 2's bit on "creating false signals to move"...this needs to be clarified, as I'm unsure as to whether this allows you to force an opponent to move a certain way. (As per the General Rules, this is deemed godmodding and is disallowed.)

Stage 3's movement prediction needs a reason. Even Sharingan reads the tiniest muscle twitches to superimpose that silhouette onto their vision. Also, please detail your ability to see the neural pathways; with how much you've detailed, surely you know how fast those electrical impulses travel, and it's not detailed how you can accurately analyze something so fast.

-

Despite your preference, while the flow of words may work, and reading through it does not yield many questions,  the sheer volume is superfluous. Please cut each stage's descriptions down to be a bit more pithy; you can say the same thing in fewer words.

For certain things, such as the actual abilities, I'd prefer you separate them. The flavor text is fine, but applications should be able to yield decent understanding at a relative skimming. Having to sort through a paragraph to get a basic understanding of what the clan actually does with their eyes should not be necessary.

Finally, spell check. If I'm supposed to expect exceptional quality for Doujutsu applications, I should not need to see spelling and grammar errors.

If you have any other questions, feel free to PM me.

7Noroi Empty Re: Noroi Tue Mar 28, 2017 11:44 am

Okami Noroi

Okami Noroi


D-rank
Fixed/edited/added some stuff so hope it's ok now.

8Noroi Empty Re: Noroi Wed Mar 29, 2017 12:15 am

Sol

Sol


D-rank
Looking very nice. I thank you for that work you put in formatting your Kekkei Genkai.

Your 1-rank-lower dispulsion ability still doesn't completely specify that it only applies to chakra-flow-based abilities like Genjutsu: Kai. You hint at it, but it needs to be explicit.

I need you to state whether you can initiate Genjutsu without requiring a trigger. In addition, do you need to extend your chakra out to your target in order to manipulate their neurons?

Stage 1: Note that this does not allow you to read minds; only generalized emotional states.

Stage 3: Mind-reading is not something I think I can approve as a Kekkei Genkai. Even the Kamizuki clan, literal telepaths, can only send information and receive that which is sent in return. That said, Genjutsu outside of a KKG has many ways of interrogating people other than such. (The thing is that all of them require a bound or incapacitated target.)

Stage 4: That said, accessing a target's current sensory input is A-OK.

Remember that the jutsu version of this memory-altering can't have long-term effects on the target character unless the RPer wills it.

Why do you suddenly not need to see your target?

-

So, this is an order from above: it's too much like the Uchiha, please remove the conspicuous similarities. Genjutsu resistance and motion-prediction on the same Doujutsu is a bit...glaringly alike, admittedly.

9Noroi Empty Re: Noroi Fri Mar 31, 2017 7:56 am

Okami Noroi

Okami Noroi


D-rank
Edited what you asked, and added some stuff or rather changed it.

















10Noroi Empty Re: Noroi Mon Apr 03, 2017 11:22 am

Sol

Sol


D-rank
For your chakra projectiles, the number cannot be indefinite. (As it is not for jutsu, so it cannot be here.) That said, you need to list a speed, which you can find in the Guidelines for Jutsu.

I need some more info about this chakra projectile. Is it invisible save to chakra sensors? Does it cause a distortion, make a sound?

Stages 1 and 2, A-OK otherwise!

Stage 3....space and time manipulation within Genjutsu, hoo boy. This....essentially gives you the ability to use Tsukuyomi, way earlier and at much less cost than the only other people able to do so. Even the Uchiha were limited from manipulating the sense of time until getting the Eternal Mangekyou. (This is because of the sheer power of that scale of time manipulation within Genjutsu, which for all intents and purposes acts as a game-over for the target.) This needs similar restrictions on its use, or if it's not as potent as the above, needs detailing.

Stage 4, I had already stated this in my previous post when it was your Stage 3; mind-reading without consent is impermissible. (Even movement-prediction can be fooled with jutsu or strategy; while you might be able to move without a mind-reader knowing what you're up to ('no mind' or some such), you could never hide a jutsu, which requires concentration and mental control.)

11Noroi Empty Re: Noroi Sun Apr 09, 2017 6:53 pm

Okami Noroi

Okami Noroi


D-rank
Edited the stages, hope they are okay now.








12Noroi Empty Re: Noroi Wed Apr 12, 2017 1:00 am

Sol

Sol


D-rank
KKG Description: I'm not sure what the "realistic threat" bit adds for the purpose of exposition or reasoning to your Genjutsu's resistance to Kai.

Is the projectile visible by anyone? Does it require a certain rank of Perception (perhaps scaling with the jutsu rank) to detect?

You can pretty much cut out the first part of your third bullet and say a person hit by the chakra projectile stays under the effect of the jutsu until they exit the Norigan's range. (That being said, does hiding behind a sufficient amount of solid matter count as doing so?)

Stage 1: Regular Genjutsu can accomplish the same end effects you state in your Jutsu-Based Abilities; are you limiting the jutsu you can cast to these applications? I'm not entirely sure I'm clear on this.

Stage 2: As above. "Making someone's limbs feel languid" would likely translate to a decrease in Reaction Time, which normal Genjutsu can accomplish.

Stage 3: As above. Jamming someone's thought processes would equate to a stun.

Stage 4: The second part is actually fine; just summarize it similarly to 'you gain access to the target's senses' and it should be good.

However, the second part is...odd, at the least. Powerful at best Rewriting the target's memory in the middle of battle can be a deceptively potent thing. You can essentially make someone forget all their ninja training by doing so.

-

For inherent abilities...

At all ranks, you say what you can 'effortlessly break through'. Essentially, this is a hard deny on that; the Norigan already possesses a method of casting illusions without requiring the target to perceive you, and adding jutsu piercing on top of that is simply too potent.

On Stage 4's 'mind vibe', I just need some information as to how fast and what types of information can be sent. Only words? Pictures, sounds?

13Noroi Empty Re: Noroi Tue Apr 25, 2017 7:53 am

Okami Noroi

Okami Noroi


D-rank
Yea added that the projectile make a distortion in the air that scales with perception, and that the speed is scaled with the jutsu rank.

Stage 1: Well, mostly it's basic genjutsu that is available to be used, but I have the method to read other's emotions and influence them so think that is pretty good for stage 1.

Stage 2: Well since Norigan is ways of using Medical and Genjutsu to affect somebody without them noticing and requiring a trigger, I think using Norigan for Medical is essential here, as I need to see what neurons I want to slow down or not. As I stated before, Norigan is not purely to enhance my Genjutsu but also Medical Nin as well.

Stage 3: It's not a stun, as I explained it's more of jumbling down his thoughts or slowing down the pictures his eyes send to him and sound. As I stated I can change their cognitive process and their short/active memory, so this shouldn't be to much of a problem..

Stage 4: Edited the memory alteration part and the mind vibe skill.

Also removed the barrier breaking, placed it in the KKG description that the projectiles act as off jutsu that scale with the rank of the jutsu casted.

Oh, and added a passive ability in the 3. stage as I lacked something there now, for the Genjutsu-Kai techniques to act as 3 ranks lower instead of just 1.

14Noroi Empty Re: Noroi Thu Apr 27, 2017 1:46 pm

Sol

Sol


D-rank
So, everything is actually fairly solid on your clan now except for that increased resistance to dispulsion. 3 ranks lower...that means that a B-rank or higher genjutsu cast by a Noroi with this stage of the eye active is essentially invulnerable to dispulsion. Considering that is where truly potent effects like paralysis start to be seen, removing all counterplay is not a good idea.

-1 effectiveness to dispulsion attempts already makes it somewhat difficult to counter the highest levels of illusions when cast by you, and makes SS-rank genjutsu entirely impossible to break; that's less of an issue, due to the way you need to cast them and their high rank nonetheless. Having it at this low a rank is....extraordinarily dangerous.

15Noroi Empty Re: Noroi Mon May 08, 2017 3:55 pm

Okami Noroi

Okami Noroi


D-rank
I deleted that addition, as I thought the rank reduction was from, example B-4 to B-1..

I have a question now thought. Is it viable for me to state that, even if it's not KKG related but it's clan related, since Noroi are adept at Bukijutsu they get a free rank C weapon at character creation of their choice? It can be linked to their history, as their last memento of their parents/clan/friend when they ran away or something regarding flavor, but still a weapon non the less. Also, is it possible for me to state that they have increased damage rank when using Bukijutsu based jutsu and attacks? I mean, it's their specialty to use, but want to ask first before adding it.

16Noroi Empty Re: Noroi Wed May 17, 2017 11:19 pm

Jet

Jet


D-rank
You need to choose what to focus, dobjutsu or bukijutsu hun you cant have everything since it cannot be too powerful. Also bring the ranges down to jutsu standards, D-rank for example is at most 25 and for what this does, id rather be around the mid range, slighty upper depends on what you define as such. Sorry for the wait darling

17Noroi Empty Re: Noroi Thu May 18, 2017 1:39 pm

Okami Noroi

Okami Noroi


D-rank
Hmm, I was looking over some Dojutsus and they had greater range than it's suggested in the jutsu limits as well :/ Also, is it okay than to stat that the clan users have reduced price when buying weapons because of their knowledge of the blades or materials so they are good at bargaining and lowering the price?








18Noroi Empty Re: Noroi Fri May 19, 2017 7:05 pm

Mitsuo

Mitsuo


S-rank
I'm going to quickly start off by stating something that I'm not sure how it was missed.

-You cannot bypass triggers for genjutsu. Dojutsu Sharingan still requires eye contact. Genjutsu must have a trigger, and simply having someone within sight of your dojutsu is not acceptable. As it is written, this clan is godmoding, and therefore must be reworked. As it stands, because of what I just stated, this clan cannot be approved.

-Ranges for KKG are allowed to occasionally be above jutsu ranges, but the ability of this clan is far too powerful for that. Balance is important.

-In response to your question about items, yes it is possible to say that you can gain a ryo reduction because of ability to barter due to knowledge.

19Noroi Empty Re: Noroi Fri May 19, 2017 7:17 pm

Okami Noroi

Okami Noroi


D-rank
I was firstly going to place the trigger requirement, but I worked out with Sol that I could use chakra projectiles instead and say that they are detectable in a way. They can also still be blocked by chakra barriers..





20Noroi Empty Re: Noroi Fri May 19, 2017 7:24 pm

Mitsuo

Mitsuo


S-rank
Sol was incorrect in saying that you could do such a thing. Triggers must be activated by one of the 5 senses and cannot be directly implanted into someone's brain, bypassing those. I do apologize about that, but I cannot allow this to go through, and I am sure that Jet would agree with me.

21Noroi Empty Re: Noroi Sat May 20, 2017 6:15 am

Okami Noroi

Okami Noroi


D-rank
Sure, it's not a problem but is than okay to remove the chakra projectiles as they were used instead of triggers? The rest that we talked about will be fixed shortly, just want to figure this out first.

22Noroi Empty Re: Noroi Sat May 20, 2017 1:05 pm

Jet

Jet


D-rank
you should remove the chakra projectiles yes, and all the other edits need to be made before we can move along with this

23Noroi Empty Re: Noroi Sun May 21, 2017 1:14 pm

Okami Noroi

Okami Noroi


D-rank
Edited all that was asked :)

24Noroi Empty Re: Noroi Mon May 22, 2017 8:00 pm

N'Jobu Aburame

N'Jobu Aburame


C-rank
As it stands, this clan's dojutsu and KKG effects are basically the Zetsumei clan with genjutsu added. Due to that fact, unless you would like to make some changes to remove the overlap I cannot move forward with approving this clan. I will work with you on the changes should you desire to do so.

25Noroi Empty Re: Noroi Mon May 22, 2017 8:24 pm

Okami Noroi

Okami Noroi


D-rank
Actually, I don't think they are alike in much ways.. The only similarity is that they can at certain stage see neural pathways like this clan as well, and also I can combine medical and Genjutsu with this clan to use it on the offense unlike the Zetsumei clan. I mean, I really don't see the connection between the two besides that Zetsumei in the stage 4, and even they can only see neurons in the nervous system.. That is much less than this clan's capability.. Also, the way this clan works is by controlling your neurons, their polarity, speed, movement and all that with Raiton chakra injected while Zetsumei are just able to see different body parts.. These clans are separate as a whole, even Ano who made the Zetsumei clan said so.. If he thought they were the same he would have said it when I was first starting to create this clan and was developing the idea with him... Also, the history is completely different the clan's usage of the eye is different, just the whole idea of the clan is different..

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