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1Zix, Zetsume (Jutsu List Update) Empty Zix, Zetsume (Jutsu List Update) Wed Apr 23, 2014 1:32 am

Zetsume Zix

Zetsume Zix


D-rank
Academy
Spoiler:

Kekkei Genkai Jutsu

Spoiler:

Kyujutsu

Spoiler:

Genjutsu
Spoiler:



Last edited by Zetsume Zix on Mon May 05, 2014 2:14 am; edited 4 times in total

2Zix, Zetsume (Jutsu List Update) Empty Re: Zix, Zetsume (Jutsu List Update) Wed Apr 23, 2014 10:16 pm

Daraku

Daraku


D-rank
Raiton Piercing Shot - Does this do any damage or have another effect besides the +1 to Suiton and Doton and a -1 to Fuuton? Or is that it?

Fire Arrow - Detail the level of burns it can deal; see the Jutsu Rules for damage limits per rank.

Raiya - A-Rank range is 80 meters max and A-Rank speed is 45 meters per second max. You can't have both of them at their max, though, since you also have a paralyzing effect...so bring the range down to about 60 and the speed down to about 40. Also, no piercing through more than one person...once it pierces through one person, it can go no further than one inch into whatever surface it hits afterward.

100 Arrow Illusion - Lower the range to 25 meters.

Hell Viewing already has a default template that most genjutsu users use, so just copypasta it into your list to replace the version you have:
Code:
[b]Name:[/b] Demonic Illusion: Hell Viewing Technique (Magen: Narakumi no Jutsu ~ 魔幻・奈落見の術)
[b]Canon/Custom:[/b] Canon
[b]Rank:[/b] D
[b]Type:[/b] Supplementary
[b]Element:[/b] N/A
[b]Range:[/b] Victim must be 15 metres or less from caster during casting, and the caster must maintain visual contact while putting the genjutsu into action. Once cast, range from caster and eye contact is irrelevant.
[b]Specialty:[/b] Genjutsu
[b]Duration:[/b] 3 posts or until dispelled
[b]Cooldown:[/b] 6 posts
[b]Description:[/b] Demonic Illusion: Hell Viewing Technique is a basic Genjutsu that plays on the instinctual fears of the victim. The user simply forms the Rat Hand seal, disrupting the chakra flow of the intended victim. They will then see any potential environmental hazards, such as dirt, sand, grass, leaves or snow, begin to spin and spiral as though caught in a cyclone, cloaking the transition and making it more believable for the victim to believe what follows. Once the diversionary show is over, the user will see their greatest fear manifested. For example, if someone is afraid of scorpions, they would see something like the one they love most being slaughtered by countless scorpions. This does not need to be a fear the caster knows of, as the fear is developed by the victim's mind. The obvious nature of this technique means that even the most fresh of Genin can tell they're in a genjutsu once they have had time to recover from the initial terror of the sights they have seen, and therefore the practical application of this comes not from keeping them in the Genjutsu, but from exploiting the moment of panic it creates once the victim sees the traumatic vision.

D rank Genjutsu kai or D rank pain can disrupt this Genjutsu.

Animal Illusion - Add some sort of trigger that causes the animal to appear. (i.e. the target making eye contact, etc.)

False Image - Lower the range to 25 meters max and add some sort of trigger that causes the Genjutsuto activate...it can't be automatic execution.

Silence - No target is specified. Does this make the user deaf or everyone within range deaf? Also, since this is a radius effect, lower its range to a 15 meter radius maximum.

Bump when you've made the required edits.

3Zix, Zetsume (Jutsu List Update) Empty Re: Zix, Zetsume (Jutsu List Update) Mon Apr 28, 2014 12:39 am

Zetsume Zix

Zetsume Zix


D-rank
Bump (I think i fixed everything you asked for)

4Zix, Zetsume (Jutsu List Update) Empty Re: Zix, Zetsume (Jutsu List Update) Tue Apr 29, 2014 12:18 pm

Keiko

Keiko


D-rank
Raiton Piercing Shot: Check the new jutsu rules for appropriate damages. The most this can pierce would be … I'm going to say around 2 inches (which is already more than what C rank can do, this is taking into the account your preparation sacrifices), but definitely not enough to pierce through a human body. If taking the time to prep the arrow is going to be used as a drawback, it should actually be something tangible, like a one-post prep.

Fire Arrow: This should have a set duration, in which all arrows must be fired within that time frame, with cooldown starting after the duration. At the moment, the cooldown is essentially useless, since you could potentially keep using this technique if only one arrow is shot per post.

Raiya: Again, I want this to have a set duration, including a one post prep for each arrow, since you can potentially create up to two with max piercing power.

100 Arrow Illusion is Approved.

Hell Viewing Technique is Approved.

Animal Illusion is Approved.

False Image is Approved.

Silence: This needs a trigger.

5Zix, Zetsume (Jutsu List Update) Empty Re: Zix, Zetsume (Jutsu List Update) Sat May 03, 2014 11:30 am

Zetsume Zix

Zetsume Zix


D-rank
Re-Edited, I think i got it right this time.

6Zix, Zetsume (Jutsu List Update) Empty Re: Zix, Zetsume (Jutsu List Update) Sun May 04, 2014 8:17 pm

Daraku

Daraku


D-rank
Your three arrow techniques still don't have set durations.

Silence is fine.

7Zix, Zetsume (Jutsu List Update) Empty Re: Zix, Zetsume (Jutsu List Update) Mon May 05, 2014 2:15 am

Zetsume Zix

Zetsume Zix


D-rank
Oops sorry, i think i got it this time.

8Zix, Zetsume (Jutsu List Update) Empty Re: Zix, Zetsume (Jutsu List Update) Mon May 05, 2014 8:54 pm

Daraku

Daraku


D-rank
Your jutsu list update is approved~

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