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1Murakami Clan [WIP] Empty Murakami Clan [WIP] Fri Jan 24, 2014 3:35 pm

Yoseki

Yoseki


D-rank
Symbol: Murakami Clan [WIP] 469px-Sasa_Rindo.svg
Spoiler:


Clan: Murakami 村神 (Village God)

Kekkei Genkai:Murakami Clan [WIP] NomDgHr 血遁 (Chiton ~ lit. Blood Release)
Spoiler:

Elements: 水遁 Suiton (Optional: for KKG), 血遁 Chiton

Specialization: Fuuinjutsu + Kugutsu (Completely Optional- necessary for KKG jutsus however)

Location: Scattered

Clan History: The Murakami clan is "Yoseki Murakami's" alias clan. It is a purely fictional clan with a fake history and everything. After Yoseki's "Memory-Loss" Event, where she 'developed' partial amnesia for a reason yet to be revealed, to escape from her past of violence and danger, she conceived the Murakami clan, separating herself from the bonds which tied her to the past, which was mainly her adoptive clan. It is unknown whether others can use her abilities as well, as she has yet to find any, but it is not to say such is impossible (really just a way to let others join the clan and use the KKG. That way, history wise, it makes sense).

Kekkei Genkai Description: Though adopted and originating from a family devoid of shinobi, it was found that Yoseki could manipulate chakra, and even infuse it with her own blood. As a result, she could basically use her blood in justus. Combined with the guidance of her adoptive Shinobi clan to which she lived with after her own family perished, paired with her intellect, she was able to make several jutsus which incorporated her blood.

Note that Chiton will only allow the user to control their own blood. Also note that Chiton is different from the Igarashi Clan's KKG, as Chiton is treated as an element (blood release), whereas, even stated by the clan creator, the Igarashi Clan's Blood-related KKG is centered around Medical Ninjutsu, and the jutsus applied are of creating weapons of blood and blood transfusion, rather than as an element.

Drawbacks: Clan members must have the "High Blood Pressure" characteristic, and it cannot be balanced. The possession of this characteristic is due to the constant need for fast pace blood flow to use Chiton. Clan members must also possess the “Hesitant (Element)”, due to a transition of element(s), when being able to use Chiton, being difficult. This cannot be counterbalanced either. Members must also take the “Fatigue” characteristic, however, they are affected by the Fatigue characteristic only when using Blood Release in a thread. This characteristic can be counterbalanced. Due to chakra passively being infused with blood within one’s body, all clan members suffer a -10 Chakra, permanently. To use Chiton, one must have the Suiton as a secondary/primary. Furthermore, should the blood of the user be mixed with another person’s blood, not of the Murakami clan, they cannot use that blood as part of a Blood Release again. A user of the KKG must have "Frail", due to the properties of erosion, thinning out the veins of the user, with constant use of Chiton. In other words, because SCIENCE!! This characteristic can be counterbalanced.

Chiton is strong against (+1)Water, weak against (-1)Boil, weak against (-1)Fire, strong against (+1)Steel, and weak against (-1)Earth, because SCIENCE!!

Members: Murakami Yoseki

Kekkei Genkai Jutsu:
Initial:
Dependant:
Taijutsu:
Murakami Kinjutsu:



Last edited by Yoseki on Sun Feb 02, 2014 7:18 pm; edited 2 times in total

2Murakami Clan [WIP] Empty Re: Murakami Clan [WIP] Sat Jan 25, 2014 1:42 pm

Shindou

Shindou


D-rank
Please note that since I'm not a Global Moderator or an Admin, I cannot 1/2 Approve your clan, but I can give suggestions. That said, you can proceed to ignore this post if you're only looking for the aforementioned people's opinions, since I only realised that only GMs and Admins can app Advanced Release clans after I had finished this post.

Can you elaborate further on what your Kekkei Genkai does in its description? Instead of merely saying that it allows them to use jutsu that requires their own blood, perhaps state what this allows them to do? Please note that this part is completely optional and if you're already comfortable with how you've worded your Kekkei Genkai Description, you do not need to change it.

For your Drawbacks, remove the part of Fatigue being a negative Special Characteristic. Instead, state then, when using any jutsu related to their Blood Release, they are affected by the effects of Fatigue. You could also add in that the user these effects are only temporary, but become permanent for the remainder of the fight if the Blood Release is used a certain number of times.

And regarding the thinning of the blood veins, I would have thought that since blood was continuously pumped in and out at a very fast rate, the veins would adapt and be reinforced, thus actually granting them the opposite of Frail. At this point, I'm just ranting with nothing that actually pertains to your Kekkei Genkai, haha, because SCIENCE.

You may wish to revamp the weaknesses and strengths of Blood Release with regards to the other elements, as having something of such complications may cause people to be confused with it. Also, try not to make relations to Advanced Elements if possible. I am aware that you wish to make up for any and all possibilities, but the truth is that in the future, there could be new Advanced Elements. Maybe you could simplify it to be just merely Water, Fire, and Earth Release? If not, it's fine, too.

I am feeling a little iffy about your jutsus, specifically since they do not require a cooldown. Cooldowns on Saga are considered important because they force the user to think up new strategies to remain alive instead of merely spamming the same jutsu over and over again to ensure their survival. You may wish to check with a mod or an admin regarding the lack of a cooldown on your jutsus.

Furthermore, the wording of your jutsus are quite confusing, but mostly because I'm not quite used to dealing with jutsus involving volumetric measurements.

For the Blood Release: Physical Manifestation, add an activation cost that varies with rank. You may use the Jutsu Guidelines found [url=http://www.narutosaga.com/t25-jutsu-rules]here[url] as reference.

For Blood Release: Red Iron, what is the usage of this liquid iron? How hard is it? How durable is it? Can the user control it as though they were using hydrokinesis? Can they move it willingly like how the Sabaku use their sand? Or does the user have to app new jutsu to be able to utilise this portion of the clan's Kekkei Genkai? How fast does it move? Does it convert all blood already brought out by Blood Release: Physical Manifestation into liquid iron, and can it be changed back into blood? Also, add a chakra cost.

For Blood Release: Iron Hide, reduce the number of jutsus that can run simultaneously as this jutsu to 1 and 2 without and with the [b]Multitasker[b] Special Characteristic respectively. Once again, chakra cost added here, please.

I haven't looked at the Kinjutsu yet, since it's here that I realised I'm not allowed to app this clan. Good luck with it ~

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