Once Toshiko discovered that his sensei would be the hokage himself, everything seemed to be looking up for him. Only a while after his first meeting, everything had gone to shit.

During their first meeting, something horrible happened. His little brother Hideki, collapsed due to his illness. The mysterious illness he had been born with that had no known cure. Sousetsu had adjourned the squad meeting, and took Hideki away to gather him some medical attention. Toshiko didn't wait to follow up. he followed Sousetsu to the Medical ward of konoha. Hideki was placed under Intensive care. Toshiko didn't know what to feel. What to think. His little brother. His last true family member was in danger. He could die. Toshiko didn't want that to happen. He'd do anything to stop that from happening. He sat next to his brothers bed for longer than he could remember, wanting to be there the second he woke up. After a while, he realized that he needed some time to take his mind off worrying about Hideki. He knew that his brother wouldn't want him to be so stressed out. The only way to get away from it all would be to get out of the village for a while.

Toshiko headed out the the village known as Takigakure. He knew the way there, as he had to go there to finish his first round of the chuunin exams. Once he made it there, he headed directly to the center of the village, and came across, entering a place known as the Hero Arena. It was a large fighting arena where Toshiko hoped his final round of the chuunin exams would be held. Toshiko slowly walked to the very center of the arena, and plopped down on the ground, laying down and staring directly up at the sky. The current area was peaceful. A perfect place to take his mind off of things. As he looked up the the baby blue sky, trying to set himself at ease from the worries of the health of his brother, he realized that it may actually work. Toshiko inhaled, and then exhaled deeply in an attempt to relax for once.

"Toshiko."

It had been a while since he'd heard that voice, but Toshiko couldn't forget who it had belonged to. Slowly, Toshiko turned his head to his right, to see none other than his sensei and the hokage, Sousetsu. His arms were crossed and he stood tall, very similar to his appearance when the two had first met. Toshiko gave off a slight smile when he saw him, and stood up to his feet. While Toshiko was fairly happy to see him, he didn't show any signs of it with his facial expressions. he simply stared at Sousetsu, waiting for him to speak once more.

"I'm sorry... about Hideki. If there is anything I can do..."

Sorry? Toshiko smiled at his Sensei. "Thanks a lot Sousetsu Sensei, but there's nothing to be sorry for. Hideki is okay. When i go back to the leaf to see him i'm sure he'll be fine."

Was it the truth, or simply denial? At this point in time, Toshiko honestly couldn't tell. The two were silent for a while. Toshiko realized that he needed to take his mind off of the condition of his brother, even if it was only for a little while. He was in a fighting arena in a different village with his sensei. To him, this was a perfect time as any to take advantage of that. He remembered their meeting, and how confident he was in his abilities. He even challenge the hokage to a battle once he had reached Jounin level. he wondered if the Hokage would take him up on his offer a little bit sooner.

"Let's forget about that for a while sensei. You remember what i said at our meeting? I wasn't joking. Plus, I don't think we ever got the chance to see what both of us are fully capable of. So how about a spar? Just you and me. I want you to see what i can do."

"Come, Toshiko. Don't hold back."

Toshiko didn't wait another moment to comply. Quickly he ran towards his sensei. He didn't have the intent to play around or hold back. he would take his sensei's words to heart. He would go all out while going up against him. Out of respect. there was so much on his mind. Things about Hideki. Things about the exams. Things about all that he had been experiencing. All the pain and stress and worry was bubbling up in him quickly. He had to release it, and the only way he knew how was through his fists. The only way to let go was through fighting. he was only a meter away from his sensei, and quickly began his barrage. He aimed 6 punches directly at his chest, and then a kick at his left side. he then jumped back, performing the tiger hand seal and inhaling deeply as he was in midair filling his mouth with chakra.He then quickly exhaled, allowing a roar of flame to erupt from his mouth, becoming a large fireball aimed directly at Sousetsu's head. Toshiko didn't want to hurt his beloved sensei. He didn't want to hurt anybody. At that moment, it was him anymore. It was his anger. He had to release it somehow. He had to.

After firing the large fire ball from such close range, he jumped back. The heat from the blast met him as he was right in front of it as he fired, causing his arms to heat up and burning his forearms a bit. His attack wasn't done. Not yet. He inhaled deeply once more, filling his mouth and throat with fire chakra, and then exhaled from a 4 meter distance, allowing 10 medium sized fire balls to spew from his mouth, heading towards Sousetsu from right behind the great fireball. Toshiko would then run forward, heading behind his two fire blasts and sousetsu. he then focused lightning chakra into his right palm, and then shot out a bolt of lightning from his hand directly at Sousetsu's back.    his face was red with anger and sorrow. His lips slowly quivered and his eyes got watery as he tried to hold back tears. There wasn't much he could do anymore. He was on the edge.

Loss was a strange feeling. It was unbearable, yet almost everlasting, and it wasn't something foreign to Toshiko. he'd lost his mother in a very brutal way at the hands of his father when he was only 6. 8 years later and the feeling and memory still hadn't gone away. It stuck with him. he couldn't rid himself of it. No matter what he did, and no matter how hard he tried, his mind wouldn't let it go. He couldn't let it go. It had become more than a bad part of his memories. It was a part of himself that had died. He felt like there was an empty hole in his chest where his heart was. He felt lost.

it was like that for a while. He had to go through the rest of his academy years by himself, being shunned by his peers due to his aspirations and attitude. He was literally alone. Then he managed to pass the academy, and became a genin. He was on the way to achieving the goal that he needed. He was on his road to becoming the best ninja alive. He met new people, made friends, even got the hokage himself to acknowledge his existence. The hole in his heart began to fill, and for the first time in years he managed to smile. To be happy. Then, he met Hideki uzumaki, and learned that he was his brother. His brother. He had no family left in the world, and thought he had no one at all. But he met his brother, and all those thoughts subsided. he felt amazing, and he loved his brother more than he loved himself. Hideki saved Toshiko from himself. Only a few weeks after learning of their relation, the two brothers were put into the same squad. A squad with his little brother seemed like a great deal. Toshiko looked forward to the missions they'd go on together, and the fun they would have as ninja. At their very first meeting, his dreams were shattered. His brother had an illness his entire life with no cure, and he collapsed due to it. Sousetsu took him to the hospital, where he died. Toshiko got to talk to him one last time. He was thankful for that, but the pain was still there. It always would be. Now he really had no one else. He was alone forever.

Toshiko dropped down to his knees, and then fell flat on the ground of the hero arena. He couldn't hold it in anymore. He screeched, releasing his anger through his mouth rather than trying to take it out on Sousetsu. His screams echoed across the hero arena, startling the little animals that roamed near it. he lifted his head back up, holding his hands on his face and digging his nails into the first layer of skin upon his forehead. The river of tears that had been building up in his eye sockets unleashed a stream that went down his face. His tears hit the ground in front of him, and after a few more moments he ripped his hands away from his face and fell backwards, laying down on his back and crying. Through his tears, he tried to speak. To who, or where, he didn't know. But he spoke.

"Hi.......Hideki! Why did you leave? Why did you leave me?"

Sousetsu's presence was practically irrelevant at this point. He couldn't even be considered conscious anymore. he was just venting. Trying to talk to his brother.

"I needed you! You were all that i had! You gave a worthless guy like me something to live for! Something to protect! I cared about you more than i do myself... I can't. I can't. I can't."

he repeated the two words over and over, and then went back to sobbing. Was he sane anymore? he didn't know. He didn't know anything other than what he had on his mind now.

What? What was there? He couldn't tell. He didn't know. He didn't see it there anymore. WIth the new hole in his heart, he didn't feel the same way he did before. He felt lost. Like he'd run out of hope. Like he was completely trapped, with no exit in sight. It was a horrible feeling. There was nothing worse than it. It consumed him as fast as possible, rendering him completely incapable of rational thought or action. TO summarize, at that moment, Toshiko wasn't toshiko. He was a physical manifestation of suffering. One that couldn't be broken anymore than he already was. That's why he barely noticed what happened next.Two clones were formed from sousetsu, and both took an arm on each side of Toshiko,just as sousetsu said the  name of a jutsu Toshiko hadn't heard before.

As sousetsu performed a string of handsigns, water flooded the area. It covered Toshiko. All besides his arms and head, knocking him back into his bodily senses, and alerting him of his situation. He stared up twoards the sky as water above him formed into a cloud, and looked to both of his sides seeing the two sousetsu clones holding him. His eyes were red and sore from the tears, and he felt ultimately weak.

Sousetsu then spoke of the jutsu's purpose, stating that once the cloud had enough water it would form a dragon with immense power. what was he doing?

"Sousetsu Sensei? Hey come on cut it out!!! What gives? This isn't funny!
What was his intent? Was he testing Toshiko, or did he actually want to kill him. There was no way. Sousetsu knew well that Toshiko would be rendered helpless by the effects of this jutsu. Adding in the clones was overkill.

Toshiko watched as his sensei walked away to stay safe from the jutsu, and was utterly shocked. He didn't panic, simply put his head down, clenched his teeth and got angry as tears fell from his eyes.
"What? WHAT? WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS? WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME? HOW THE HELL DO YOU EXPECT ME TO DO THIS? TO LIVE LIKE THIS? DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE? WHAT IT'S LIKE TO HAVE NO FAMILY?"
"I went through my entire life being known as the guy with the psycho dad who killed his wife and ran off! I didn't have anyone to go to. Anyone who gived a shit about me! and then he came along. He saved me. I had nothing to live for, and he gave me a reason not to end it all! What do you expect me to do? Go on without him? You don't have to deal with this! You're the fucking hokage! Everyone in the village respects you! I had one person who looked up to me! ONE! And he's dead. He's dead. What am i supposed to do without him? Live? Pretend he never existed?!? I"m not. I won't. I swear i won't. I don't give a shit about me. I don't wanna die, but i'm not gonna play along with your game and beg for my life! I do'nt wanna die. I don't. But i won't beg, and i won't get over it. I"ll never stop mourning. No matter what you say or do, hideki will always be a lingering part of me that i'll never get back. I have a reason to live though. And that reason is to fulfill my promise. Become the hokage, and make HIdeki proud. Do what you're going to do. I won't pretend that i care about my existence for one second cause i don't. But i do care about his. and for his existence to linger on, i have to be here to make sure it does. So do what you will."

After speaking, Toshiko didn't know what to do or say,. He felt lost within a tunnel with no exit. He was completely drenched in darkness and he couldn't prevent it. It was what he felt when his mother was killed in cold blood at the hands of his very own father, but seemingly worse. At least he got to know his mother for the majority of his early life.. he had memories of her that he could hold onto forever. That wasn't the same situation with his brother hideki. It was like Toshiko met him, and then he just left. There wasn't anything he could do about it. Nothing he could say or do. That was just that. And he couldn't get away from it or rewind. It felt like a nightmare that he couldn't wake up from. His despair made him lose track of reality for a second.

He looked up to the sky to see the large dragon coming down towards him. He simply closed his eyes. He didn't want to die, but he didn't want to live that much either. He waited a few moments, and noticed that he hadn't passed yet. He opened his eyes, and then he saw it. His master standing there. A rainfall of water poured over the two, drenching them both and bringing Toshiko back to reality. The clones that took Toshiko's arms dissipated allowing him to fall down into the puddle of rain on all fours as the remaining water pellets hit his back. He then heard his master's voice.

"Don't you dare. Don't you ever compare your life to others. And don't you dare think of yourself as worthless."

Once The word's reached Toshiko's ears, he held his head up with a strange look on his face. The water upon his face would hide the tears coming from his eyes, but his emotions were still evident.  It was at that moment he realized that he was wrong. He was wrong. Wrong about everything. Everything he thought. All that he said. He was wrong. He wasn't alone. He wasn't. He felt that he was because he'd lost his only brother. The one last person he knew of in his family that he cared about. But Hideki wasn't his only family. He remembered his life. His past. Everything and all that had happened to him. The first half of his life, sucked. His father had ruined his whole life, and terribly traumatized him. Then he had to go through the academy, all alone and hated by his peers. Feared by them for what his father had done, and bullied for his outlook on life. Once he had become a genin, all taht had completely changed. He met people who actually liked him for who he was. Aethir, Hideki, Keigo, Antanas, Rain. All of these were people who he cared about and called his friends. Then, he got put in squad one with Hideki, Kaneda, and had the hokage as a sensei. He met people who to him were his family. He cared about all of them more than he cared about himself.

These people were the world to him, and even though he'd lost The one who was the closest to him, he had all these people left. Toshiko put his head down and started crying once more.

"I grew up with no parents. I used to lead the Senju until one of my own attempted to take my life. I used to feel responsible but I kept my ambitions and goals in my mind."  

Toshiko wasn't the only one who had lost people. He was being self centered by assuming he was the only one who had gone through something like this. The only one who had experienced pain in his life. He wasn't. His master had felt a pain similar to his own. They could relate to each other in that way, and he now understood that.

"If you truly want to carry on that promise, then learn to endure the hardships. That journey is full of them."

Toshiko knew to take the words his sensei was stating to heart, as he had gone through the journey himself.


"I surpassed my peers. I aided in the death of the infamous Uchiha Hao. I became the renowned Azure Beast. I became Hokage! The path is not easy and you will have little time to mourn what is lost, so take their dreams with you."

Toshiko started crying uncontrollably. That was what he wanted. That was what hideki would have wanted. Sousetsu's words weren't taken in simply as wise words to aid Toshiko in his mission of success. They would become his way of life. Every moment. Every day. Every step he took in his life would be for hideki. It would be to remember Hideki. TO make his death matter.

"Who knows... Maybe we can find families to call our own someday.

Toshiko already had. He had a whole family still left. He had his sensei, and his friends. he was crying. Not because he was sad, but because it had finally happened. He was happy, and he'd finally been accepted. There were people in the world that he could call his friends. And that was the best feeling in the world. After a while, he stopped his tears, stood up to his feet, and used his wet hand to wipe the tears and water from his face. His face was still damp and somewhat glistened in the light of the sun, but he stared at Sousetsu with a slight smile on his face. He no longer looked at Sousetsu at his master as someone who he hoped to impress and one day surpass, but someone who he greatly respected and cared about. He saw him as a friend, and he hoped he thought the same. From that moment forward, Toshiko would have nothing but respect for the man that stood before him for as long as they would accompany each other in their memories.

"You're right. I apologize. Thank you sousetsu. Thank you."