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1Graeae Split Empty Graeae Split Sat Nov 02, 2013 11:33 pm

Daraku

Daraku


D-rank
Just need one thing clear, is this considered a doujutsu? As for moderating the clan itself, you'll need more drawbacks; locked SCs and Genjutsu weaknesses aren't enough. 30 meters is a LONG range to be able to sense within, dude. As for the jutsu:

  • Sense of Sharing seems fine
  • Sensory Clone is alright, I suppose
  • You'll need a -5 chakra cost per post active for Stretching the Limits
and finally, it's unclear what this "aura" you talk about is. Are you referring to the sensing range? If so, I recommend you put it in jutsu format considering you imply it can be turned on and off at will. If you don't want to put it in jutsu format, take the "on-and-off" component out entirely, and make it a passive permanent ability. I'd also like other opinions on this clan, in general.

2Graeae Split Empty Re: Graeae Split Sun Nov 03, 2013 12:45 am

Kyohei

Kyohei


D-rank
30m for passive sensory is HUGE, especially considering you are sensing something as abuseable as "matter" or sound which effectively makes it impossible for anyone/thing that has a physical form to be within 30m of you and not have you pinpoint their exact location at all times. If this isn't going to be the effect of a doujutsu then that passive sensory range should be a scaled jutsu in itself since you want it to get stronger as the shinobi does and it should be the rank of the shinobi, not one rank higher. I think the sensory ability for this ability is way too powerful, coming from someone who has a passive sensory clan. "Most things" needs to be clarified into a concrete list of what it can and cannot sense.

3Graeae Split Empty Re: Graeae Split Mon Nov 04, 2013 8:43 am

Morrigi

Morrigi


D-rank
Perhaps this clears things up.

4Graeae Split Empty Re: Graeae Split Mon Nov 04, 2013 11:50 am

Bokuden

Bokuden


D-rank
30m is still far too much. The most I'd allow on a sensory range without some kind of constant maintenance cost is 10m. What you have is twice the range of Senjutsu sensory... for absolutely no cost and no way for it to be forced off or avoided. And so this is sonar? The thing about sensing something like physical form, touch, or motion is that it can't be done without actually interacting with the object you are sensing. So unless you are expelling some kind of chakra wave like sonar it is going to be hard to sell that you can just be omniscient of all matter around you at all times.

5Graeae Split Empty Re: Graeae Split Tue Nov 12, 2013 1:17 am

Yōsei

Yōsei


S-rank
if someone approves the jutsu, this has my 1/2 approval~

6Graeae Split Empty Re: Graeae Split Tue Nov 12, 2013 1:25 am

Mitsuo

Mitsuo


S-rank
The jutsu seem fine to me, and therefore this clan is Approved~

7Graeae Split Empty Re: Graeae Split Wed May 21, 2014 12:20 pm

Bokuden

Bokuden


D-rank
I feel like this either needs a more severe drawback or one of its current drawbacks needs to be more severe, i.e. a raiton jutsu of any rank should be able to force the sensory off, at least temporarily. At higher ranks that drawback as you have it now is insignificant.

8Graeae Split Empty Re: Graeae Split Thu May 22, 2014 10:55 pm

Mikage

Mikage


D-rank
In addition to the edits requested above, here's the jutsu portion.

Sense of Sharing: Decrease the ranges to 20 / 30 / 50 for C-A, respectively, for the range of casting. Also provide radius measurements for each rank which should be associated with the restriction that, once moving out of this range, this sharing is interrupted and dispelled. Change cooldown to "Duration + 4 posts".

Sensory Clone: Decrease the range of movement of the clones by half. Make the clones so that it is obvious that they are obviously insubstantial, or remove the function of the clones not dissipating after being hit.

Stretching the Limits: Change cooldown to "Duration + 4 posts".

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