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Naruto Saga » Tethys Grounds » This Is the Bitter, Not the Sweet. [Flashback/Bokuden/No Kill]

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Misoka

Misoka


D-rank
This Is the Bitter, Not the Sweet.

After the madness.
After the last words.
Caught in the silence.
Caught in between.

This is the bad before the worse.
This is the stir before the storm.
This is the dark and not the light I hoped to find.
And I haven’t even reached the bottom of this ocean floor.



Misoka stopped drawing for a moment, trying to remember which room had been situated on the ground floor on the south-west corner in the Karisuma estate. She had gone into it a long time ago, but apparently, this hadn’t served to leave an ever lasting impression. In that case, it was probably just some storage room. Giving the paper in front of her a nod as if to confirm her own thoughts, she continued drawing a sketch of the estate or, in other words, her past “home”.
One day, she would need all information she could gather about the clan and its compound; every possibility to sneak in and every escape path.
One day, Akihiko would wish he had never hunted her down.
Time passed with countless seconds trickling by and turning into whole minutes. At one point, her mind wandered to things besides the plan she’d been weaving.
The two months were almost over. She would leave Kumo at the end of the week. Part of her wondered what had even kept her here for that long. May it be her fickle personality or the past which had forced her to feel this way - Misoka clearly considered herself a traveller. A free spirit.

So why had she wasted precious time in the lightning country even though her thirst for revenge could only be satiated in her hometown?  
A small sigh left her lips as she put the pencil down and leaned back in her seat, casually taking in the coziness of Nami’s guest room.
To be honest, the main reason had been to spend time with Bokuden. This didn’t exactly go according to plan. Speaking out the crushing truth as always when she was sick, she’d informed him about the change from ex-boyfriend to only friend in not the most subtle manner.
And she hadn’t seen him ever since.  Not that she could blame him.
If she could just reciprocate his feelings, everything would be so much easier. But as a matter of fact, she couldn’t. The magic was gone and deep down, she knew that her grown self was looking for something else in a man now, something which made her feel safe and look up to him at the same time.
“Whatever,” Misoka mumbled, hopping off the chair and throwing a glance at the clock. 3 pm. And what if she…? The thought lingered in her mind for another five minutes, until she just had to give in to the wistful feeling going along with it.
She took a sheet of paper and scribbled down a short message.

“Dear Bokuden,
Would you meet me at the Thetys grounds today (~5 pm)? I was thinking we could maybe hang out together as long as I’m still in Kumo. Feel free to take Satomi with you if you like.

Misoka”

Okay. A heart-warming letter was definitely something else. Then again, it was best to simply avoid the rejection topic and act as though nothing particular had happened between them. Bokuden wanted it that way, didn’t he? She remembered him saying something along the lines of “You don’t need to coddle me like a child”. So she was surely doing the right thing by just being “his best buddy” or – she shouldn’t exaggerate – simply a friend of his.

~~~

Two hours later, Misoka was standing on the training grounds, dressed in casual clothes consisting of a short pair of hot pants and a white T-shirt. If she decided to really train for a bit, her attire should be good enough. She also had a small bag with her, in which she had put the sketch of the Karisuma estate among some other stuff.
Maybe Bokuden could give her advice in that matter. She still wasn’t sure which way to choose in order to sneak into the house unnoticed. Although the “meeting” with her clan was in the far future for now, she already wanted to perfect her plan and every little detail of it.
Nervously, Misoka looked around. Would Bokuden even appear? Perhaps he just didn’t want anything to do with her anymore because she’d hurt his pride too badly.
But no… he wasn’t that kind of guy. At least she believed she knew him that well.  
And so she waited, heart pounding in her chest, one hand grasping her bag and her thoughts circling around the sketch in it; the drawing she had done all morning.



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Bokuden

Bokuden


D-rank
“Dear Bokuden,
Would you meet me at the Thetys grounds today (~5 pm)? I was thinking we could maybe hang out together as long as I’m still in Kumo. Feel free to take Satomi with you if you like.

Misoka”

Bokuden sat and stared at the letter he had just read for a moment before folding it back up and placing it down on the coffee table beside him. He exhaled as he pondered the situation he found himself in after receiving the invitation. He was obviously going to go, if for no reason other than him keeping his word. He found the letter unsettling though. He had planned to reach out to her himself given how close the end of her two month stay in kumo had come. He had been planning to reach out to her this whole time, but after their last meeting he had simply immersed himself in his work and his training to put off having to deal with his issues with Misoka. That is exactly however, why the letter bothered him so much, or at least how he felt about the letter. Upon receiving the letter he could tell who it was from just based off of the return address. He hadn’t seen Misoka in all this time, he expected even receiving a letter from her to open up old wounds, but it didn’t. He didn’t feel much of anything to be honest and it bothered him. He wasn’t angry with Misoka about her decision, but after being in love with someone it couldn’t be normal to just “be okay” about it, could it? After taking a sip of coffee from his mug he would run a hand back through his hair and place both hands on the arms of his seat. “Whatever,” he muttered as he raised himself from his seat, “I’ll have to ask Satomi about it.”

~~~

At the designated time Bokuden would arrive at the Tethys Grounds, by himself as Satomi had declined the invitation and suggested he do the same. He of course, ignored that advice.  And so he found himself at the Tethys Grounds for the first time in forever, dressed in casual attire (consisting of black pants & shoes, a white t-shirt, a charcoal colored jacket, and his katana strapped across his back) with a folder in hand.  The Tethys Grounds were not a location he visited frequently. In fact he had not been back here since his last training session with Misoka over 5 years ago. It was a decently popular training area, which is the reason Bokuden stayed away from it. He was well beyond the point of looking for sparring partners to test each other’s skills and learn from the match. There was no one left among the general population of Kumogakure that could provide him with any sort of challenge and he preferred to train uninterrupted. Beyond that Bokuden took particular care not to allow others to spectate his training. Being a member of the ANBU corps fit his personality, giving him justification for maintaining his private and somewhat antisocial lifestyle. This was never more prevalent than while training, which he took particularly seriously, making sure nobody that he would ever have to use his techniques against would see them beforehand. That group included everyone.

The Tethys grounds were large enough to make locating Misoka somewhat of a chore, but after a couple of minutes he was able to locate her. He made no outward effort to call out to her to get her attention, he was sure she would see him coming anyway. There was no trace of a smile on Bokuden’s face, nor any gentleness in his eyes that one might have once associated with how he looked at Misoka. Instead his face bore his usual serious, almost aloof expression, the one that everyone else saw. He would say nothing until he had walked the distance between them and was a few feet in front of her, at which point he would stop and greet her in his typical (at least to everyone other than Misoka) calculated and purposeful tone, “Hello Misoka.”



699~

Misoka

Misoka


D-rank
Misoka could already see Bokuden approaching her from afar. His hands were stuffed in his pockets, his face emotionless; he took big steps, but this didn’t seem to indicate in any way that he enjoyed meeting her.
The monotone greeting he gave her upon coming to a halt matched his aloof attitude quite well.
At first Misoka didn’t reply – she was simply too busy comparing the version of him she’d known and the one in front of her - , but then her confusion got replaced by an understanding she wished she lacked of.
Since Bokuden knew that courting her would give him nothing in the end, there was no need to play nice and caring anymore. Consequently, he had no interest in being friends with a woman who had rejected him as a lover.

Misoka slowly withdrew her hand from the bag and its precious contents. Men. The word cut through her mind like a knife, accompanied by a feeling of disappointment she had grown used to.
But at least he had come. This must count for something, huh? Her eyes slid to the empty spot beside him where she’d expected Satomi to be. Then again, why had she thought the female wolf would want to meet her?
Satomi hadn’t even particularly been fond of her five years prior, so why should she start now after Misoka had turned down her master? More likely, the wolf had done an effort to bitch about her in front of Bokuden.
…Spoiled brat.
A fleeting trace of anger crossed Misoka’s face before she got a hold of herself and returned Bokuden’s stern gaze. All of a sudden, she felt like a complete fool for inviting him here. Had she really believed they could have a nice chit-chat about her clan and share their problems to a certain extent? This wasn’t like her anyway to depend on others’ help or advice.
Still, she couldn’t just turn and walk away now.

“Hello Bokuden,” Misoka finally responded in a calm tone and decided to voice the most general reason for why she had sent him that letter. “I am going to return to Suna at the end of the week. I just thought we should properly say goodbye before I leave.”
Something he hadn't seemed to even consider for himself.
She shrugged, not meeting his eyes. “I also know that this will be inappropriate to ask of you, but maybe you could… watch out for my father’s and Nami’s safety every once in a while.”
How much she hated to say this. To say that she needed his assistance in this matter, especially now that she had an idea of his probably non-existing willingness to offer her that.





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Bokuden

Bokuden


D-rank
The look in Misoka’s eyes as Bokuden drew closer to her was one he was not unfamiliar with; resentment. There were many that disliked Bokuden for any number of reasons, anything from his family to his attitude. He would be the first to admit that he was not the friendliest of people. His past and his life had made him distrusting and callous, a side that Misoka had not seen from him as he was too busy being love struck. Now that that was over however, it seemed she viewed him just as everyone else did. That look in her eyes… that look in everyone’s eyes, the cold stare that followed Bokuden wherever he went. When Bokuden was younger he hated it and didn’t understand what he had done to warrant such a look. He would lash out against others in defense, only serving to further enforce whatever beliefs they had of him. As he grew older he learned to deal with the looks the same way he dealt with everything else, by shutting himself off. Not feeling, or at least pretending not to feel, was the only defense mechanism he had against the outside world that didn’t involve the edge of a blade and it had always accomplished the desired result. The looks never stopped, but they no longer stung. So why did the searing feeling of Misoka’s gaze break down his defenses?

“I figured it was about that time,” Bokuden said in the same steady tone, “Don’t worry about your father and Nami, I’ll make sure their watched over. I would have done it even if you hadn’t ask. I’ll have an ANBU patrol stationed in that neighborhood. They will be safe.” Seeing Misoka turn away, refusing to face him Bokuden let his eyes wander down to the bag she was holding, remaining silent for a moment before  looking directly at her once again and breaking the silence, “You’re going to go back to Suna and go after Akihiko aren’t you?” It was probably a strange question to ask, mostly because Misoka herself had never revealed the name of the Karisuma clan hierarchy to Bokuden before. Still, there was some information Bokuden needed before anything happened.



1078~

Misoka

Misoka


D-rank
She was anything but an open book – at least, she thought so -  and still, it was plain obvious now that Bokuden’s reply took her by surprise. She would have expected an outright “No” or a half-hearted “Okay”, but certainly not that.
Even though part of her still felt emotionally attached to him - he was one the few friends she had left after all -, Misoka knew from experience that people could change, sometimes in the blink of an eye.
The relief upon hearing his answer came shortly afterwards.
Behind Bokuden’s cold and distant demeanour, there still seemed to be a spark of her old friend inside him; otherwise, he wouldn’t make such an effort to protect her father. Right?
Nonetheless, her suspicious mind was not yet freed of doubt that he might have come to hate her after their not so glamorous last meeting and that he secretly wanted to pay her back. Or maybe she was just exaggerating again. Did she really consider him capable of deceiving her only because he had been rejected?
“You’re going to go back to Suna and go after Akihiko, aren’t you?”
Her gaze shot up. How did he know about Akihiko? Perhaps she had let the clan leader’s name slip at some point. But… She studied Bokuden’s expression warily as if she could somehow figure out his true intentions that way. In all objectivity, there were only two possibilities.
One, he wanted to know because he still cared about her safety and would like to give her some advice on how to defeat the clan leader.
Two, he planned to take revenge on her, either by taunting her about the difficult situation she was in or by making sure she would fail and not come back anyway. However, she really hoped the latter was a bit too far-fetched. He wouldn’t stab her in the back like that. She didn’t want to believe it.

Taking a deep breath, Misoka answered hesitantly, “I will. But not yet. First, I have to become stronger.” Again, she looked aside, half expecting him to laugh at her. “I mean, I already have a plan. I hope it’ll work out.”
Unconsciously, she brushed her bag with her fingers once more before gathering the courage to ask a question which she had been toying with the whole time.
“Bokuden.” Misoka gazed up at him, finding her bravery already fade. The possibility that he might abandon her and become her enemy was more frightening than she would admit. Despite herself, Misoka’s voice trembled slightly when she continued, “Are we still friends? If not, I am sorry I called you out here.” In an attempt to loosen the tension in the air, she added what was supposed to be something of a joke, “I didn’t mean to make you so angry that you can’t wait to get away from me.”
She didn’t know whether he would get the hint, but she was referring to his emotionless facial expression, which just seemed unlike him. Even five years ago, he had been much more cheerful and a shameless flirt when it came to women, at least on the outside. She still remembered the first time they’d met and how he’d had three friends tagging along with him.
Had he really become so reserved overall or did he only display such coldness towards her now?  




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Bokuden

Bokuden


D-rank
The slight trembling in Misoka’s voice quickly melted away the protective layer of ice that he had placed around his emotions. “Hmm, friends…” Bokuden mused for a moment, “I barely even know what that word means anymore. I’m not angry with you Misoka, if I’m angry with anyone it is myself. My behavior was selfish and foolish. I’m not good with people. I can put on the act and play my role when it is needed, but my history has made me a distrusting person by nature; a sentiment that I’m sure you can understand. But unlike you I was never able to run. My mother and sister’s lives were dangled in front of me from the very beginning. I was trapped. With escape not being an option I needed another  mechanism to help me cope. As a result I shut myself off emotionally. I trained myself not to feel… anything.

The truth is that even back when we first met five years ago and I was so open about flirting with you I was simply putting on the act that I thought was expected of me.  But then everything else happened so fast and the more I heard from you the more that I felt like I had found someone like me… like I wasn’t alone anymore. I had never felt like that before and I stupidly let my guard down and got too close. After you left and I was powerless to change things for you it was like reliving “that day” all over again. Once again I had to sit back and watch as someone I cared the most about was taken from me yet again and I couldn’t do a thing about it. When I found you again I ignored my better judgment and fell victim to my own guilt, allowing old feelings to take over. Things had changed, we had changed, but I wanted so desperately to feel again that I just tried to hold on to a time that had long since passed. Neither of us were the same person we were 5 years ago. I wasn’t in love with you, but with an idea of you that no longer existed. It was a mistake.”

Bokuden paused, realizing how harsh that last statement must have sounded to someone other than himself. Misoka could listen to everything he had to say, but that wouldn’t make her feel things the same way he did. Combined with his much more serious disposition that she had never seen of him before, saying something along the lines of being in love with her was a mistake must have sounded cruel. “But…” he began as the faintest smile curled back onto his lips, a trace of the gentleness Misoka once knew returning to his eyes, “There are some mistakes that I’m glad I made. I just hope I didn’t hurt you too much.” Bokuden had freed himself of his childish infatuation since their last encounter, but they had already been through too much for him not to harbor feelings for her at all. He wanted to offer her some reprieve beyond just words, so he did the first thing he could think of and gently placed his right hand against her cheek, hoping that his small gestures of compassion were still enough to comfort her as they once did. “You’re going to make someone very happy someday Missy and you’re going to find someone that will make you happy in return. I look forward to that day, even if it’s not with me,” he said softly before bringing his hand back to his side, “Now, let’s talk about this plan of yours.”



1706~

Misoka

Misoka


D-rank
With each word Bokuden spoke, everything became so much clearer to Misoka. She hadn’t dared to ask, but apparently, his family situation wasn’t any better than five years prior. To shut oneself off seemed like a sensible thing to do and furthermore explained his overly serious demeanour. She believed that she could relate to his pain and the fear of losing a dear person even though her own problems slightly differed from his. He might not know whether he still considered her a friend, but… this was alright. As long as he didn’t push her away completely, she would be fine with it.
“Neither of us were the same person we were 5 years ago. I wasn’t in love with you, but with an idea of you that no longer existed. It was a mistake.”
Somewhere deep down, Misoka thought she should feel offended or an emotion similar to that. This statement of his, spoken in such a stern tone on top of that, could be seen as somewhat cruel and insensitive after all.
Instead, however, it was as though another realization dawned upon her, filling her with nothing but relief that she had suddenly come to understand his actions a lot better than before. What he said sounded really plausible. She herself had secretly doubted his confession. Because… five years ago, it might have been possible to fall in love with her younger self. She’d been innocent, shy and helpless no matter how hard she’d tried to play tough – An endearing combination for an adolescent boy, wasn’t it?
But Bokuden nailed it: Both of them had changed and she didn’t think anyone could harbour sincere feelings towards her if she didn’t even like herself anymore.

Misoka’s lips curled up into a smile as she nodded eagerly. “That makes so much sense! I also thought you made a mistake. I’m glad you could clear this up for yourself.”
Having said that, she wanted to go on to expressing sympathy for his clan issues, but he cut her off stating that there were some mistakes he had made gladly.
Oh… he thought she was hurt by his words. “Er, don’t worry about it, I’m fine…” Her voice trailed off when he placed a hand on her cheek.
“You’re going to make someone very happy someday Missy and you’re going to find someone that will make you happy in return. I look forward to that day, even if it’s not with me.”
There were two things about his reply that made her chuckle. First, she was also sure she could make a man happy by giving him something to show off, but make her happy in return? Well, if he killed Akihiko for her – wait, no - , if he hurt Akihiko badly and let her do the finishing blow, yes, then she would be grateful and forever in his debt. But somehow she doubted Bokuden had meant it that way.
And the second thing that made her listen up was a certain nickname she had never heard before: Missy?
Even thinking about it prompted her to stifle a laughter. “You know, for being so serious and all, you just came up with a ridiculous nickname,” she noted with a wide grin.
The effort he’d made to explain himself over the past ten minutes really served to ease the awkward atmosphere.
So much that she hesitated for only a short moment when he told her to talk about her plan.

“Okay.” In the blink of an eye, Misoka took out her sketch and a pencil, then let herself plop on the ground and gestured for Bokuden to do the same. Time for business. “Look.”
She showed the paper to him excitedly, pointing at one of the rooms marked as “Great Hall”.
“That’s where most of the big meetings take place. And that’s where the man gets to see the chosen girl. He’s allowed to spend an evening with her and can test out whether she’s really like her profile description. But this costs extra money of course.” Misoka paused, realizing that she might have spoken a little bit too fast. It was just that she had never had the chance to consult with anyone about this before. “These meetings get always turned into huge ceremonies. Almost everyone has to attend them, at least all the girls – so that the man has more choices – and Akihiko. I was thinking it might be the perfect time to sneak into the estate unnoticed.”




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Bokuden

Bokuden


D-rank
“It’s not so ridiculous though, is it?” he replied with a smirk as he took a seat directly across from Misoka on the ground, “Missy seems to suit your attitude quite well, don’t you think?” Bokuden sat quietly as Misoka excitedly showed him her sketches of the Karisuma estate, which he could tell was drawn completely from memory. More impressive was the fact that she had already begun planning the scenario which she found most ideal to execute whatever her plan was (Which she still had neglected to explicate). She intended to sneak into the estate, but had failed to explain to what end, although Bokuden could probably have guessed why without the need of an explanation. He was somewhat relieved, although his face wouldn’t show it having returned to the serious expression he displayed earlier as he peered over the sketch. Misoka had thought this through more carefully than he had originally anticipated which at the very least made him feel slightly more confident that she was not going to do anything too rash.

“I see,” he mused, “But I think I might have something that could help.” Removing the folder he had tucked under his arm, Bokuden handed it to Misoka. “I appreciate the art, but everything you will need to infiltrate the estate from an infrastructure standpoint is in that folder,” he said seriously, “I knew you would insist on going after them. It’s what I would have done. And so after our last meeting I decided to have my men begin compiling information on the Karisuma estate. Obtaining the blue prints was simple enough. They are in that folder along with information my ANBU have obtained on Akihiko and other key members of the Karisuma clan. With this information in hand you should all be able to infiltrate the estate a bit easier.”

Misoka

Misoka


D-rank
“Missy seems to suit your attitude quite well, don’t you think?”
At that, Misoka let out a huff, pretending to be offended by his statement. Head held high, she snarled, “I don’t think I can take that as a compliment.” For a moment, she eyed him arrogantly, the way she’d expect a noblewoman to do, but after that, she didn’t bother to keep up the act any longer. The frown quickly turned into an amused smile as she shrugged her shoulders and redirected her gaze at the sketches in her hands. “In fact, I’ve already had too many names to care.”
That was when Bokuden suddenly gave her a folder… with blue prints of the Karisuma estate in it. Her fingers trembled, flipping through the pages, eyes taking in every detail of the infrastructure and neat profiles of Akihiko and some of her uncles. It was impossible to maintain her composure with such significant information before her, which easily outclassed her artwork.
Misoka took a few seconds to string together a coherent sentence. “Thank you,” she murmured, voice thick with emotion. “I can’t believe you did this for me. This is exactly what I need. It’s perfect. Thank you so, so much.”
A hint of guilt followed, making her blissful smile waver as she looked up. “I don’t know how I can pay you back for that. And while we’re at it, for helping me in Kiri, too. And for protecting my father and Nami. I keep making debts, but I swear one day I’ll find a way to help you and Sanosuke in return.”
She only hoped there was something she could do for each of them. Furthermore, it should be something equal to what they’d done for her.
At least the promise she had just made helped her feel more at ease now. Bokuden should know that she didn’t take any of this for granted.

Alright, but enough of that emotional babbling. Back to her – what did he call it? – “Missy attitude”.
Misoka cleared her throat and studied the blue prints once more with a stern expression. “As I said, I was planning to get in there during one of those big events. I’m sure this will be the perfect time for launching a surprise attack on them. Plus, it will further damage my clan’s reputation. I can just imagine how the suitors will react.”
The precious Karisuma princess, reincarnation of Kiyomi, ruining their party. She smirked slightly. “I might even know some of the guys from former meetings.”
The only (but probably most important) thing she hadn’t planned so far was how she would defend herself against Akihiko and his henchmen. However, she could just give this more thought when she became a Jounin. And the idea of forming her own troupe of shinobi might still be fulfilled in the near future.





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Bokuden

Bokuden


D-rank
“Stop speaking like that,” Bokuden said sternly, his demeanor having returned to how it appeared prior to his temporary softening for Misoka, “There is no debt to be repaid. I’m not helping you because I intend to get something from you in return. The collection of the data in that folder, protecting you in Kiri and escorting you to safety, and making sure that your father and Nami are watched over; I did all of those things because you are important to me. The practices of the Karisuma clan that have pained you will come to an end. You’ll be free to live the life you want to lead and so will every other girl that is trapped in Akihiko’s cage, I promise you that.”

The tone in Bokuden’s voice changed from one of sternness and detachment to one filled with strength and determination as he spoke without breaking the calm that he was known for. “But…” he murmured, going through her plan of attack in his head and analyzing the situation, “For all of the damage that could possibly done to Akihiko’s business by you showing up and making a mess of one of these events, there is no way that he would ever allow you to get that opportunity. You lived there, and he still wants to retrieve you and sell you off. Whoever he has hired to guard the estate more than likely will know who you are on sight and the event itself will be the most heavily manned part of the estate. You aren’t going to be able to just barge in there. There needs to be a plan as to how we are getting in there.”

He would cross his arms and closed his eyes for a moment as he played as many scenarios out in his mind as he could that would allow he and Misoka to get into the event. His eyes would widen as an idea came to him, compelling him to share. “You said you might know some of the men that would attend the events, the ones that are there shopping for women,” he begun, looking at her curiously, “What if we ensured that you knew one of the prospective buyers inside the event?”

Misoka

Misoka


D-rank
Misoka shrugged off pretty much the whole first part of his speech; all the typical babbling about how he didn’t expect anything in return, blah blah blah, how he helped her because he wanted to and so on. It was important for her to clear her debts and feel she deserved his act of kindness. Yes, it was a guilt she took upon herself willingly.
When she picked up a slight change in Bokuden’s tone, Misoka paid attention again.
“…You aren’t going to be able to just barge in there. There needs to be a plan as to how we are getting in there.”  
True. He had analyzed her words very well and managed to point out her idea’s weaknesses at once. Misoka nodded thoughtfully. “You’re right.”
She would have loved to have a brainwave right now – if only to appear as wise as Bokuden - , but nothing came to her mind. The holes in her so-called plan had been evident to her from the start. Unfortunately, this didn’t mean she knew a way to fix them.
“You’re right…” she therefore repeated dumbly, trying to buy herself some time to mull over Bokuden’s constructive criticism.
Not sure how to dig up that master plan she was lacking, Misoka cast a glance at the folder in her hands. Precious information, yes, but… truth be told, she would hardly be able to achieve anything on her own. No matter how strong she might ever become. There were just too many skilled shinobi in one place. Her grandfather Akihiko, her Genjutsu uncle, all the guards. Plus, she expected Akihiko to take some of her female cousins hostage if it meant he could stop her attack. With that poorly thought-out plan of hers, she would only do more bad than good.

She looked up again into Bokuden’s pensive face when his eyes suddenly widened. There was no need to ask him about it; he immediately shared his thoughts with her.
“What if we ensured that you knew one of the prospective buyers inside the event?”
The hint of excitement in his voice made her believe he knew something she didn’t. Or that he had just gotten a brilliant idea. And maybe it was so brilliant that she simply failed to see its point.
“Okay,” Misoka began, confused. “So we ensure I know one of them. But… how is that going to help me in any way? I highly doubt any of them would be willing to co-operate with me, at least not if they don’t get something valuable in return.”
She grimaced at the memory of the men she had been forced to spend an evening with. They were all snotty idiots whom she wouldn’t even ask for help if her life depended on it. On top of that, two thirds of them probably felt the same about her after getting slapped or made fun of in front of everyone. The last third would only laugh about her seemingly short fuse and claim they liked a woman with fire anyway.
Er… no, she’d really appreciate not to see any one of the suitors again.

Only then, she realized something else about Bokuden’s words. “Wait a minute,” she muttered, more to herself than to the person opposite her. “…we?” She quickly bit her lip and hoped he hadn’t caught her surprised whisper. This would merely give him another reason to start talking about how she worried too much and that she should finally stop speaking like that.
Inside her, however, Misoka felt a stir of excitement. Together they might be able to defeat the clan leader. Bokuden was a professional after all. She could call herself lucky to have him on her side.
 




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Bokuden

Bokuden


D-rank
Bokuden had been a shinobi for most of his conscious life. Beyond that, he was a fully trained member of ANBU Black Ops. He was even a captain. He knew how to read people, it was part of his job. He especially knew when he was being ignored and not being taken seriously; something he did not like. At all. Few things irritated Bokuden more than not having his words being taken seriously, especially when those words were spoken with the interest of someone else in mind only to have that person slap him in the face. It was an insult; one he was not expecting from Misoka, which made it sting even more harshly. It wasn’t even so much that he was angry with her as much as it was him being hurt.

An obviously unhappy expression appeared on the spurned Kumogakure shinobi’s face as Misoka continued to speak. The look on his face was distinctly different than any she had seen that day. This was not a look of kindness nor one of apathy. Bokuden was not happy and he made no effort to hide that fact. “Yes,” he began coldly, “I said us. Although I’m surprised you heard even that considering how eager you seemed to blow me off before. I’m not a fool Misoka, despite what you believe apparently, and I would appreciate not being treated like one. What have I ever done to you to warrant such disrespect? You didn’t have to like or agree with what I had to say, but you could have at least respected my right to say it. If you’re serious about carrying on with this “repayment of debts” I would suggest starting with not ignoring them the second what they have to say isn’t what you want to hear, especially when they are trying to help you. It’s amazing how few people you will encounter that find that a courteous thing to do.”

Too perturbed to remain seated Bokuden would uncross his arms, reaching over to the folder he had placed in front of Misoka to close it and pull it back to himself. “It isn’t ideal to discuss a matter like this openly in an unsecured area,” he said as he raised himself up from the ground, turning away from Misoka, scribbling a quick line down on a piece of paper and handing t to her, “This restaurant at the time written alongside it. There is a dress code that will require you to dress up in order to get inside. The reservation will be under my name. The hostess will bring you to the table once inside. Bring any relevant information you or your father might have that could help us with the operation. I’ll get into more detail then. Agreed?” His tone was ice cold, without a trace of compassion or emotion to be found as he spoke, turning away from Misoka. He had made this mistake too many times with her already; letting his feelings get involved. This is why he didn’t get involved with people. He let her get close to him only to have her plunge a dagger into him at every turn.  Not returning his romantic feelings he could understand, but being the one to initiate this idea of friendship only to provide him with a proverbial slap in the face moments later or even respecting him enough to show him common courtesy was nothing short of a slight in his mind.

At this time to Bokuden, it was becoming more and more apparent that Misoka saw him as nothing more than a means to an end. She needed him, his strength, his resources; she needed them 5 years ago when she first fed him the sob story and she needed it now. And Bokuden was enough of an honor bound fool to go through with it and stick to his word even though every wall, alarm, and defense mechanism he had put up emotionally to protect himself from situations just like this told him to stay away.

Misoka

Misoka


D-rank
Don’t tell me what to do.
Don’t tell me what to say.
Don’t tell me how to feel.

Another wave of anger rippled through her body, the blood inside her beginning to boil. He'd crossed the line. He just didn’t have to treat her so condescendingly right now and make a fuss over nothing.
So what if she had ignored half of his speech before? It simply didn’t matter to her what he thought of her idea of paying him back because this was a moral principle she wanted to act upon.
Bokuden had no right to criticise that or anything she might have said. He certainly shouldn’t try to give her orders on how she was going to clear her debts.
In a blur, Misoka pushed herself up to her feet too, hands clenched into fists so hard that it hurt. The folder had already been snatched from her – not that she really cared. At the moment she wouldn’t mind if he just took it and went off without another word. He probably thought she had to depend on him. Hah, far from it. Her puppet times were over. She could execute her plan on her own just as well. In fact, she was likely better off alone anyway.
When Bokuden turned around to hand her a note, she accepted it with reluctance, wishing the glare she shot him could burn a mark into his face. Restaurant, dress code, hostess… quite the fancy-schmanzy scene. Did he feel the urge to show off with his money or what?
“Agreed?”
The cold that radiated from him clashed with her burning irritation.

I can’t lose my temper now. This is not Akihiko or Genzo or Yukimura. This is not my enemy. Why am I so angry?

Swallowing down every insult she had already come up with in her mind, Misoka only snarled through gritted teeth, “Fine.”
Then she loosened her fist and threw a short glance at the crumpled piece of paper in her hand. Good. She wouldn’t say anything more. This was hardly the time for a fight now.
Making a single hand sign, she used the Body Flicker Technique to disappear.

~~

Was change really inevitable? And if so, could it be at least good?
Misoka’s anger evaporated, leaving nothing but a solemn feeling behind along with questions she would ask herself over and over again. There were times when she wondered how things would have turned out if her mother hadn’t been killed almost eight years ago. 
But wishful thinking wasn’t going to get her anywhere, so she brushed it off and went inside Nami’s house.
“I’m ba-”
Her greeting was met with two surprised gasps as her father and Nami quickly parted and turned their backs on each other. What… had she just walked in on?
Misoka froze, raising an eyebrow.
“Oh, you’re here again! That’s perfect! Lunch is almost ready, your father helped me a bit, really nice to see you, dear,” Nami blurted out in a high-pitched voice which made her only more suspicious.
And then something clicked inside Misoka’s head. And she wasn’t sure how to feel about it.
“Okay,” she said awkwardly before tearing her gaze away from them and going upstairs. “I’ll be right back.”
After the first shock subsided, Misoka told herself that it wasn’t so bad anyway. It had always been clear to her that her father would start dating again someday. Plus, Nami was probably one of the best choices for him.
Even so, part of her began to feel more like a burden than before.


The dress code was annoying. Not only because she was struggling to find a gown without plunging necklines, but also because Nami immediately got the wrong idea.
“It’s not a date,” Misoka groaned for what felt like the tenth time.
“Of course not! Why else would he invite you to such an expensive restaurant then?” Nami laughed.
Letting out a huff, Misoka continued flipping through the dresses in her wardrobe. “I don’t know, maybe because he’s a stuck-up?!” Somehow there was still that slight sensation of anger inside her whenever she thought about the upcoming meeting and how coldly Bokuden had treated her prior that day.
“Now, now,” Nami replied, obviously surprised by the sudden outburst. “That’s mean.”
“So what?” With a shrug of her shoulders, Misoka finally gave up and chose the silky dark-blue evening gown, which showed only a little cleavage at least. “I can be mean. In fact, I’m free to do and say whatever I want to.”
That pretty much ended her discussion with Nami. Shaking her head, the older woman went out of the room, perhaps in order to complain to Isamu about his impolite daughter. Whatever.


~~

When Misoka entered the restaurant, the low heels of her shoes clicking against the tile flooring, said hostess came to her at once. It was a pretty, black-haired woman wearing a red dress.
“My name is Ayame,” she greeted her with a bow. “May I lead you to your table?”
For a short moment, Misoka wondered how the woman knew she was talking to the right person, but then again... how many girls had such creepy-looking eyes?
“Please do,” Misoka responded curtly, following Ayame to what seemed like a private room away from the other guests.



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Bokuden

Bokuden


D-rank
Bokuden sipped wine from his glass as he awaited Misoka’s arrival in the private room he had reserved for the two of them. In line with the establishment’s dress code Bokuden was clothed in a black fitted suit, tie-less with a white shirt unbuttoned at the top, and black shoes. He glanced down at his gold wristwatch in order to check the time before looking over their table once again. He had made copies of the documents he presented to Misoka earlier for Misoka to keep and placed them on her side of the table under the menu.  

The room was decorated in a red and gold theme, from the walls, tablecloth, chairs, and cushioned couches that lined the walls. The lighting in the room was dim and there were lit candles on the table, obviously meant to set a romantic atmosphere, but after their little tiff earlier Bokuden was not looking for a romantic evening. He put out the candles almost immediately after he arrived himself, but couldn’t do anything about the mood lighting from the chandelier or the wall sconces. He also made no qualms about asking the hostess to shut off the music that had been playing in the room when he first arrived. Still upset about Misoka’s earlier behavior Bokuden made every effort to avoid allowing her to believe everything was okay between them and that this was a romantic evening, including sitting on the couch on the right side of the room rather than at the table and waiting for Misoka to arrive there.

As far as locations go, this was the most neutral secure location he could think of on short notice. This restaurant was owned by a shinobi that was a member of Kumogakure ANBU and was a typical meeting place for ANBU off duty.  This was about as secure a location as there was. Given how much tension there was between he and Misoka at the moment, meeting at either one of their homes would likely have been a bad idea. At the very least Bokuden wanted to keep Sayomi, Miss Nami, and Misoka’s father out of it. This was a private matter and they could work it out in private.

His eyes would shift towards the shoji screen door as it slid open to reveal the hostess Ayame and Misoka. “Miss Misoka has arrived Ryuzoji-sama,”  Ayame said courteously as she stepped aside to present Misoka and let her through, “I’ve brought her here just like you asked.”

With a nod of approval Bokuden replied, “Thank you Ayame-chan. I appreciate your hard work. You can leave us now.”

“Thank you,” Ayame replied with a flirty giggle and a flip of her hair, “Anything for you. Let me know if you need anything at all.” Before taking her leave she would bow to both Misoka and Bokuden respectfully, bending a little further forward and holding for a brief moment longer when bowing towards Bokuden to intentionally show him more cleavage. Bokuden rolled his eyes at the display and sent her off.

Once the screen door closed behind Misoka, Bokuden pointed his glass towards her side of the table and spoke, “I made you your own copies of the files from earlier. Those are yours to keep. I had to return the original back to ANBU headquarters.” His voice was still cold and emotionless as he addressed Misoka, barely even bothering to make eye contact with her as he took another sip from his glass.

Misoka

Misoka


D-rank
Misoka gave the hostess a half amused half irritated look. That woman behaved like a bitch in heat or a wolf marking its territory, depending on whether Bokuden had already spent some quality time with her.
Either way, Misoka couldn’t help but throw a snide remark, “Don’t worry, Ayame-san. After the dinner, he will be all yours again.”
Furthermore, she only wanted to stay as long as necessary; and judging from Bokuden’s change in tone when he was speaking to her, he probably felt the same.
“I made you your own copies of the files from earlier. Those are yours to keep. I had to return the original back to ANBU headquarters.”
He didn’t even bother to stand up from that… red love couch or for whatever reason there was a couch in the restaurant room. Come to think of it, who had turned on the slow pop music playing in the background? That was when she decided to examine the room she was in more closely. Very nicely decorated, following a red and gold theme, dim lighting and a few other cushioned couches – Alright, she got it. Either Bokuden couldn’t find a less romantic setting for the meeting or he planned to send in Ayame after they were done discussing. Definitely not her place to know.
Taking her time to answer, Misoka slid down into one of the chairs and brushed away long golden strands of her hair in order to have another glance at the copied files.

“Thank you,” she finally managed to say in a strained tone. Only then, she would allow her gaze to shift to Bokuden, giving him a quick once over. His attire consisted of a black, tieless suit with a white shirt underneath, giving him a noble, but handsome look. Somehow Misoka suddenly felt reminded of the clan event they had attended five years ago where they’d both had to dress up as well. She quickly wiped the thought from her mind, focusing on the negative tension between them and Bokuden’s rude display. Honestly? He was bumming around on the couch instead of taking a seat at the table? 
“I hope this is only your first glass of wine for tonight,” Misoka taunted with a slight smirk. “There are some things we wanted to discuss, after all. You’ll need your brain.”
Calmly, she reached down to take a small stack of papers out of her bag and placed them on the table. “Here’s everything I know about my clansmen’s fighting styles. There are also extra papers about Akihiko and my uncle Genzo.” She paused, once again looking up and letting her glowing eyes linger on Bokuden for a moment. “I’d say ‘See for yourself’, but…” A huff of fake amusement. “…you’re obviously too shy to leave the couch.”



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Bokuden

Bokuden


D-rank
“Funny,” Bokuden said bluntly as he rose up from his seat, “You seem to be very perceptive now. After how you behaved earlier I’m surprised you even remember who I am. Who knows how much of our relationship you’ve spent tuned out and daydreaming?” He would firmly place his half-empty glass on his side of the table before walking over to Misoka and picking up the stack of papers she had removed from her bag. Wasting no time after retrieving the documents Bokuden would turn away from the table and begin pacing back and forth as he scanned the information before him, casually thumbing through the pages as he read up on his target’s abilities.

He would slip the profiles of Akihiko and Genzo in particular out of the pile and place them on his side of the table. “Akihiko I already knew about, but this Genzo person… if she felt him significant enough to point him out by name, perhaps there is something I should pay attention to,” he mused to himself as he straightened up the pile and returned it to where Misoka had placed it. “The rest are of no consequence to me,” he would continue, his emotionless voice remaining unchanged, “We don’t need to plan anything around foot soldiers. If they get in my way I’ll simply cut them down. So I suppose we’re ready to begin planning. Would you like me to take notes for you? I know you can’t be bothered to listen to other people speak for extended periods of time… like 5 minutes.” His callous tone trailed off to a bit of a sneer at that last part, making it clear that he was still unhappy with her behavior from earlier. The nerve of her, she didn’t even apologize for her rudeness. She simply acted like she did nothing wrong.

“Also, I don’t know how things are done in Sunagakure, but in the Village Hidden in the Clouds we show those serving us some respect,” he continued as he sit down in the seat across from Misoka at the table, “I know the owner of this restaurant personally and many of the people who work and frequent it. That’s why I chose it as a secure, neutral ground for our meeting. Please don’t tarnish my reputation by making rude remarks and faces at our servers. By bringing you here I vouched for you amongst this circle of people. The least you can do is pretend that you care about my life."

Misoka

Misoka


D-rank
She should know better than to let any of his taunts faze her. In addition to that, his bickering didn’t even come close to the humiliation she’d had to suffer in her clan. Bokuden apparently intended to make her angry; if she reacted like that, it would only give him satisfaction. Thus, it was best to ignore him and simply shut out his snarky remarks. At least she had planned to do so.
But there was also that part of her screaming “Attack is the best form of defence” and repeating each and every word she took offense at. He accused her of daydreaming? Of being unable to listen for five damn minutes? Not to forget: “The rest are of no consequence” – he was indirectly telling her that she’d been stupid to even write down the “foot soldiers”. You should never underestimate your enemy; a rule which didn’t seem to apply for the mighty Bokuden of course.
Misoka tried her hardest to keep a cool head. She really did. She wanted to toss back one of her own sly remarks, accompanied by a bittersweet smile in order to make him believe she couldn’t care less about his teasing.
However, all of those intentions were crushed once Bokuden sat down and had the nerve to continue nagging at her. It wasn’t so much what he complained about – her impoliteness, blah blah - , but rather that being the last straw for Misoka.
In the end, his words did serve their intended purpose and inflamed her only further.

Teeth clenched, she stood up from her seat and stuffed the whole pile of papers she had brought with her back into the bag, including the profiles of Akihiko and Genzo. Her fingers trembled slightly as always when she made her best effort to keep in the negative feelings raging inside her. She wouldn’t throw a tantrum now. She wasn’t a little child anymore.
“You know what? I don’t have to put up with your rude attitude.” Slinging the bag over her shoulder, Misoka shot the man she’d once thought to be her friend one last glare. “I changed my mind. There is no ‘we’. You may think I’m depending on you, but that’s not true. I don’t need you and your fancy blue prints.”
Her hands clenched into fists automatically as she turned away, eyes fixated on the exit. “I don’t even know why I came here in the first place. I’ve survived the last five years just fine on my own. Why should I need anyone’s help now?”
She had already started making her way to the door when another thought crossed her mind. “And don’t worry about your reputation. As long as you have money, trash like Ayame will line up to be with you. I know that kind of girl.”
That was actually the place for a mocking laugh, but Misoka felt too furious to fake malicious glee. All she wanted to do was get away from Bokuden, from Kumo, from the whole damn lightning country. As soon as possible. She could cut the week short and leave tomorrow already. This would definitely spare her some more arguments.
“Anyway, I’m out of here,” she hissed, placing a hand on the doorknob with her back still turned on Bokuden. “Goodbye.”



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Bokuden

Bokuden


D-rank
“Oh, here we go again,” Bokuden said aloud as he pushed himself up in his seat in response to Misoka packing up her things, “What? Do you hate me now? Is that how you respond every time someone tells you something you don’t want to hear? You tune them out. How can you even stand there and act like what I’m saying isn’t true when you are doing it again. Do you think storming out of here is going to solve all of your problems? Do you think that you will increase your chances for success by casting aside the few allies you have and treating them like their friendship is a waste of your time? Well, I’m sorry your highness. I didn’t mean to burden you with my existence! You’re right, there is no 'we'. There has only ever been you. Our relationship has only ever been one-sided, just the way you like it; one-sided love, one-sided friendship, one-sided concern, and even one-sided conversations since you’ve shown no qualms in shutting me out!”

As the last of her venom filled words sunk into Bokuden like daggers, he would storm over to the exit door to cut her off and slam his hand over the exit to prevent her from opening it. “If you think you’re just going to say whatever you want and storm out without an answer then you really don’t know me. You’re just so much better than she is, aren’t you? So perfect and ladylike just like a well-trained trophy-wife! You’re really going to stand there and judge someone else? I’ve never even been with Ayame! I’ve known her since she was still in the academy! I work with her father! She’s just a kid, but at least I know where she stands. She knows what she wants and isn’t afraid to acknowledge it or go after it! If I could have said the same about you I wouldn’t have had to go through all of the trouble of trying to find you while you were still in Suna. I wouldn’t have had to embarrass myself trying to love a woman who only intended to use me as a pawn from the very beginning. I wouldn’t have been so stupid as to know that and still put my neck on the line to help her in hopes that maybe JUST MAYBE I was wrong only to have her slap me in the face and spit on our relationship the moment things were no longer working out for her. I told you my secrets and I guarded yours with my life and how was I treated in return? Like a stranger. Like I was “just another guy” like one of those pigs that bid on you like property under your clan’s system.”

Bokuden removed  his hand from the door, his eyes still flashing with anger as he growled out his words, “So answer me Misoka! DO YOU HATE ME NOW? Have I pushed you enough? Hit me! Punch me! Do something! Or are you just going to run away from me AGAIN like you do with all of your problems. It seems to be the only thing you are good at!”


Misoka

Misoka


D-rank
She hadn’t expected Bokuden to cut off her escape path like that. Bewildered, Misoka flinched back when he slammed a hand on the door and started shouting at her. At that point, it was naturally impossible to maintain the little composure she’d had left. She couldn’t get out, she was stuck here with him and it made the wild animal inside her resort to growling and snapping.
“Stop it! Just STOP IT!” she exclaimed hotly, taking another step away from him. Chakra formed around her fists like blue flames dancing in the dimly lit room. The warning was clear: If he dared to come any closer, she would attack.
“What do you know?! Hasn’t everything just turned out fine for you? You’ve become an ANBU, you’re rich, you have a home, you have plenty of potential wives you can actually CHOOSE from and you don’t have to worry about certain people hunting you down like a deer! I bet you’ve become head of your clan on top of that! If you’re so strong now, there’s no way you haven’t already killed your father!”
This was it: the outburst she had tried to avoid. But if he wanted it this way, he would get to hear her answer. At least they would have been honest with each other on their last day.
“You’re right, that’s what you try to say, huh? Problems are solved by strength, not by running away. Well, too bad they never gave me the chance to train! I was busy becoming the person they wanted me to, yes, a well-trained trophy wife, you nailed it!
I wasn’t allowed to speak without permission, I had to let the suitors test me out for as long as they didn’t take away my virginity, every moment of disobedience sent me straight to Genzo’s Genjutsu torture chamber and oh – how nice! – I could leave the estate once a week – but with a bodyguard by my side of course! A psychopath who would help me escape from my arranged marriage later on, only to keep me as a pet and almost kill me thrice!” 

She took a deep breath, glaring Bokuden down. “So sorry that I wasn’t that thrilled to see you again after five years of going through hell! You were just a little too late! You promised to come for me and you may have done so back in Kirigakure, BUT this promise has lost its value, I’m afraid!
When you found me, I had already freed myself, I hadn’t been the damsel in distress anymore. You didn’t save me!”
More and more waves of anger washed over her; this must probably be the case of talking oneself into rage. But she didn’t care. She had to defend herself, Bokuden basically forced her to. If he only stepped aside and let her out, this fight would be over.
Her own chakra still surrounding her fists, Misoka took a step forward in hopes he might give in and allow her to leave.
“And I do remember how it was before, how I used to be scared whenever a man touched me against my will, how I even used to wish it was you, but these times were soon over. Now I would try to cut off his hand. I don't need a man. The fear turned into resentment, into the promise that one day I will make them feel sorry for what they’ve done. I had to adapt or they would’ve broken me!”
She bit down on her lip, trying to calm herself down; to no avail, though. Bokuden had never even asked her what she’d been through. He had never even shown any interest in trying to comprehend her actions and words. Quite the contrary, wasn’t it? The moment he found out she wasn’t as shy and infatuated with him as five years prior, he immediately went on to play the victim.
“So don’t you dare tell me who to be!” Misoka continued shouting at him. “I’ve lost count of the various masks I’ve been putting on and off over the years! But how could you understand? Oh, the mighty Ryuzoji boy who can cut down everyone that comes his way! What THE HELL do you know about how I feel?!”



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Bokuden

Bokuden


D-rank
“No, I won’t stop!” Bokuden snapped back. He glanced down at Misoka’s chakra imbued fists and stepped forward unflinchingly, almost daring her to take a swing. He wouldn’t bother trying to avoid or block any strike she landed, instead he would let her hit him as many times as was necessary. “Sure, everything has turned out JUST FINE for me! I was forced into joining ANBU at the order of my father like another one of his little pawns! You’re right, I’m rich. Lucky me! Do you think I consider this place a home? Kumogakure isn’t my home, it’s my prison! I don’t remain here because I want to. I’m here because if I leave everything I’ve ever cared about will die! The fact is that the only time this place felt like a home to me since I was 13 was when you were with me, but now you’ve shut me out so entirely that it feels like I’m back in solitary confinement! And how wonderful I have plenty of “wives” I can choose from. Which means nothing because I barely feel anything anymore and the only one of those “wives” I ever wanted treats me like I’m her enemy! If I had become head of my clan already we wouldn’t be having this discussion. I would have stormed into Suna and taken you back myself years ago, but I couldn’t. For as strong as I’ve become my father is stronger still and he never misses the chance to dangle my mother and sister’s lives over my head because of it!”

Upon hearing Misoka’s recanting of what she had been through the past five years Bokuden’s voice weakened. The anger that had once filled him gave way to Bokuden’s inner guilt that he had been harboring for the past five years. “I KNOW I COULDN’T SAVE YOU! DO YOU THINK A SINGLE DAY HAS GONE BY THAT I DON’T HATE MYSELF FOR IT! I wanted to, but I couldn’t! A month after you left and I hadn’t heard from you I asked for permission to go to Suna and it was denied. So do you know what I did? I tried to sneak out. I put my family’s lives in danger and I stupidly thought I could be the knight in shining armor to come sweep you off of your feet and save you! I got to the border of the country before I was hunted down and dragged back with my arm broken to pieces. Satomi tried to buy me time to escape and when I came back I found her knocked out and missing a leg! I was so angry that even with my broken arm I charged at my father intending to kill him. I couldn’t even touch him… I had to beg him to spare Sayomi’s life. He put a collar on me and made me bark like a dog in front of everyone to show my obedience. He told me that one more incident like that and they all died. Then he sent me overseas for 3 years in exile to go play bodyguard for his business partners. When I came back I sent out more private investigators and ANBU units than I can count to Suna to look for you, but they always came back saying that nobody named Misoka was in the Karisuma estate.”

Eyes welling up with emotion, Bokuden grabbed hold of Misoka’s wrists and shook them, “So do it! Hit me! Hate me! You should hate me, I would! You’re right, I didn’t save you! I haven’t saved anyone! All I’ve done is cause everyone more pain! Why won’t you hate me? I remember how it used to be too, fearing the thought of another man touching you against my will, how I wished the one holding you could have been me, how I’d make them pay for it all. But I couldn’t do any of that and now I can’t even help you because you treat me like the enemy. STOP FUCKING AROUND MISOKA! What are we, friends or enemies? If you don’t hate me then why do you keep pushing me away? I’m not them! You’re safe with me! I can help you, just let me in! I don’t… want to fight with you anymore… I… Misoka, you’re safe with me. What happened before, won’t happen ever again. I’ll follow you to Suna whether you want me there or not… I’m not letting you go through this alone… not again. No more masks, from either of us. There’s so much I haven’t told you, that I’ve been afraid to tell you… or anyone else. I didn’t want you to see me for what I really am… damaged…” Bokuden’s  voice trailed off as he hung his head, breaking eye contact with Misoka. His hands shook as he held Misoka’s wrists. What had he just done? For the first time she had seen him… vulnerable…


Misoka

Misoka


D-rank
Misoka muttered a curse under her breath when he wouldn’t budge, but approach her despite the implied warning she’d made more than apparent. Insecurely, she staggered back while Bokuden was giving free reign to his rage, correcting every one of her claims and telling his own story.
His words were much to take in, so much that she felt her anger gradually being buried beneath their weight. She wasn’t sure, but she believed Bokuden’s voice also started lacking the animosity from before – which definitely didn’t put her at ease, though. To be honest, his desperate tone and facial expression sounded more different from anything she had ever seen and heard of him. It made her almost… scared.
“Bokuden,” she tried to intervene, but his shouting swallowed her half whisper easily. The ferocity that had radiated from her during their argument cooled down. They should stop fighting. They shouldn’t shout at each other like this.
“Stay. Away.” Misoka took another step back and another one afterwards. Why would he keep following her around? Why wouldn’t he just stay on his side? She couldn’t reason with him that way. Again, she felt like an animal being cornered; something she had experienced so many times before. Her heart pounded against her chest so fast that it hurt as she growled once more, “I told you to stay away.”
Instead of heeding her advice, Bokuden suddenly took hold of her wrists and began to shake them. That was the moment she snapped. With a bewildered look adorning her features, but unable to mask the abrupt surge of fear in her eyes, Misoka stepped down on Bokuden’s left foot forcefully before freeing her hands and channeling chakra around them.
The next thing she knew she was already aiming a punch at his face. It was closest to an instinctive reaction, one she had learnt over all the years of being harassed by men even though Akihiko had done his best to tame her in the estate.
As soon as her fist made painful contact with Bokuden’s jaw, Misoka retreated, both arms held across her chest as if to put up an additional barrier between them.

Only then, his next words would sink in.
And only then, she recognized the hurt and self-hate plastered all over his face, making her defence crumble.
“I’m sorry!” It came out as a weird high-pitched sound, nothing like the aggressiveness in her voice moments ago. “You… startled me.”
After the short time of shouting and screaming, the silence that followed felt strange. Suddenly, she didn’t know what to say anymore. What could she even say at the moment? She hadn’t braced herself for the shock she would feel upon hearing Bokuden’s story. She had never expected him to still be so hopeless against his father, let alone talk about Kumogakure as though he didn’t belong here.
Slowly, Misoka approached him again, stopping about two steps before him. He hung his head, making it unable for her to gauge his expression more closely. Yet, this would be unnecessary anyway. The broken words he’d spoken to her and the weakness in his voice before he’d trailed off were more than enough.
“I didn’t know that,” she choked out at last, her hands still pressed against her chest meekly. “That… about your father. And you. And Satomi.”
With the anger evaporated now, Misoka couldn’t believe she’d let herself lose her temper in front of the only true friend she might have left. But wasn’t she always doing exactly that? Pushing those away from her who only had her best interests in mind?
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said all that.” She swallowed, her gaze automatically flickering to the exit. Hard to break old habits. Whenever a situation became unpleasant, she wished to outrun it. “I was wrong to blame you. It’s not your fault of course. I know you would’ve come for me if possible. Please stop that guilt trip, that’s not fair to yourself. And... And I'm also sorry I was rude to your.. er friends? I think I'm not made for fancy restaurants. And I should have paid full attention to what you said.”
Misoka had to tear her eyes away from the door in order to look back at Bokuden. A swell of negative emotions brewed inside her: anxiety, regret, nervousness and everything in between. From one moment to the next, she felt like crying, but her pride wouldn’t allow her to show any tears at all.
The only thing she had to do now was make up with Bokuden and then they could simply forget about that fight. Period.
Clinging to her voice of reason, Misoka shrugged her shoulders slightly. Then she added, her tone stronger, “We were probably both in a bad mood today. It doesn’t matter.” 




7289

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Bokuden

Bokuden


D-rank
Bokuden rubbed the spot where Misoka had struck and looked back at her, all the rage that had previously filled his eyes having dissipated and leaving behind nothing but sorrow and emptiness. “Why only one punch?” He said almost in a whisper now that the noise from all of their shouting had died down, “You have so much anger... why only one? Don’t apologize. You aren’t wrong for directing your anger towards me. Everything that has happened to you in the past five years is my fault… one way or another. My weakness is what caused you so much pain. I tried to play the hero Misoka. I tried to do something that could make me believe that I wasn’t one of them, but I am. For all of the fighting and posturing against them I’m no better than my father or my clan. I’m the monster they’ve always wanted me to be. You know it as well as I do. That’s why you look at me with such contempt, isn’t it? You don’t have to pretend that you care about me. I’ve been alone long enough to know better. But… I’d still like to help you. Hate me as much as you need to. Punch me as hard as you feel is necessary, but let me do at least this for you. My penance for everything I’ve done to you. Give me all of your anger, all of your hatred. Use me as you see fit. I'm the reason you've suffered so much... I won’t fight back against you.”

Misoka

Misoka


D-rank
She thought she had finally calmed down after all the drama, but Bokuden seemed to know just what to say to make her snap at him again, “Will you stop it already! I don’t hate you! And I’m certainly not punching a defenceless person out of a whim!”
Adding an urgent tone to her voice, she went on, “The reason why I suffered is my stupid clan! My grandfather will be the one to feel every bit of my anger. Don’t put all the blame on yourself.”
Misoka’s eyes softened slightly. “You could have never stopped me back then anyway. I wanted to go to Sunagakure as soon as possible. I couldn't wait to save my father. I wanted to play hero and prove to myself that becoming a kunoichi hadn’t been a waste of time.”
Closing the short distance between them, Misoka dared to place a hand on Bokuden’s back. For once, she had the feeling that she was stronger than him at that very moment. He needed her comfort now.
“Come,” she whispered. “It’s okay. Let’s sit down.”

Slowly, she led him to the couch before taking a seat herself. A sigh slipped from her lips. “I’ve learnt that the line between ally and foe is incredibly thin.” She stared at her hands. “Taku – my former bodyguard – was my enemy at first. Then he suddenly decided to give me more freedom. Every once in a while, he let me do a mission or train or meet other people in secret. He never told me why. When I was supposed to marry one of the suitors, I could only escape from Yukimura’s castle with his help. But could I really consider Taku an ally then? No, he tried to choke me shortly afterwards.”
With another sigh, Misoka leaned back, closing her eyes for a second. “I know I can trust you, Bokuden. There are probably millions of reasons why you wouldn’t deceive me. But I fall back into old patterns so easily.”
An absurd thought crossed her mind and made her chuckle despite herself. “I should have been born a man,” she mused aloud, her lips slightly curving up at the edges. “Damn it, that would have made a lot of things easier.”
She sneaked a glance at Bokuden beside her in hopes she would see him smile as well. There had to be something she could do to lighten up the tense atmosphere in the room. She was tired of fighting.




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Bokuden

Bokuden


D-rank
The feeling of Misoka’s hand touching his back combined with her words calmed Bokuden down, but brought him no comfort. Instead, all he felt was shame and embarrassment. What had he done? Nobody was supposed to see him like this… SHE wasn’t supposed to see him like this. When had be become so weak that he was no longer able to control himself? This wasn’t how he planned things would go. Bokuden didn’t show weakness, he couldn’t show weakness. He had to be strong, to be a pillar for those who relied on him. If that pillar were to falter… what reason would they have to place their faith in him any longer? He wouldn’t be deserving of it.

He couldn’t bear to look Misoka in the eyes as she led him over to the couch and took a seat beside him. How could he after putting on such a pathetic display? Now her pity compelled her to try and comfort him as if he were a child. Bokuden was mortified. All he could do is sit with his gaze locked on the floor and listen to her speak. The more she spoke however, the more the need for him to respond emerged. He had to say something. He couldn’t just sulk there in silence and continue to humiliate himself further. When Misoka made the comment about how she should have been born a man Bokuden saw the opportunity to enter the conversation once more and took it. “Well, I can’t argue with the fact that being born a man would have made your life easier,” he forced out with as genuine a smile as he could muster at the moment and raised his head to look up at the ceiling, “But then we’d never have had a reason to meet.” He paused for a moment before gathering the strength to look at Misoka once again and joked in a slightly more jovial tone, “Besides, being a man isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be. You have to deal with other men and their egos, always wanting to compete over everything for no reason. And you end up spending an inordinate amount of time trying to win over girls that are more likely to punch you in the face than give you a hug.”

His forced smile didn’t last long however, as he would soon turn away from Misoka once more and stare down at the floor. “Misoka…” he began in a low, but audible voice, “I’m sorry… for everything. I didn’t mean to scare you. I didn’t mean to hurt you… I would never…” He would sigh deeply before pushing himself up off of the couch and walking over to the table. “This day has been too much,” he said with a sigh as he picked up his glass of wine from earlier, “I’m going to need a drink. Would you like one?”

Misoka

Misoka


D-rank
She nodded slowly, bemused by the disadvantages Bokuden stated about being a man. It wasn’t hard to read between the lines of course. Which girl could he have referred to after all? He wanted to win her over? He wanted a hug from her?
And there it was again: that tiny spark of annoyance lighting up inside her, those sharp thoughts running through her mind.
I told you I’m not in love with you. And you told me you’re not in love with me, either. So why do you keep bringing it up? I stick to my decisions.
Of course she would never say that aloud, especially not after their verbal fight, which had been intense enough already. Imitating Bokuden’s weak smile, Misoka heard him whisper a few hushed words and apologies before he got up from the couch with a deep sigh.
She watched as he took his glass of wine, staring at it for a moment.
“Maybe you guys are just trying too hard,” she then muttered under her breath and let out a soft chuckle in an attempt to mask the truth behind her statement. Maybe if they all just left her alone with their flirty remarks and wished to be nothing but her friends for once, she might actually get the chance to feel something beyond amusement. But she didn’t expect anyone to understand that reversed thinking and come on, in the end it didn’t matter anyway – to her at least.

Bokuden gave her a nod. “I’m going to need a drink. Would you like one?”
“I hardly ever drink alcohol,” she replied quickly, about to decline the offer. Then again… they’d just shouted at each other like really badly, so she should probably do him the small favour. Wouldn’t hurt. “Alright. I’ll have a glass of wine, too. Thanks.”
Misoka accepted the drink with the same strained smile. The complete truth was that she couldn’t handle alcohol well – and this might still be an understatement. Last time one of the suitors insisted on her having a cup of sake… let’s just say, it didn’t end nicely.  
After a moment of hesitation, she took a sip from the wine, forcing herself to gulp the liquid down whilst keeping a straight face. The alcohol burned her throat.
Nevertheless, there was no way in hell she would admit this embarrassing weakness to anyone or even hand the glass back to Bokuden. No, no, no. Drink. And strike up some kind of conversation while you’re at it.
“After we've gotten this all off our chests, we could get back to discussing the operation, don’t you think?” she suggested in a light tone. “You said you have an idea.”




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