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1Chi Empty Chi Wed May 14, 2014 11:31 pm

Rippa

Rippa


D-rank
Symbol: Chi Ea54902a-f5f7-45f1-bb93-22dc26d24551_zpsd86ccab5


Clan: Chi

Kekkei Genkai: Chiryū (Blood Dragon)

Elements: Can not use elements until spec jounin. Then they may select one element. And can select another element at  Jounin. Both must be learned as a second and third element.

Specialization: Tenshi(Angel) path ~ Med jutsu~ Ninjutsu
Oni(Demon) path ~Ninjutsu~ Puppeteering
Shūtai(Abomination) Path ~Genjutsu~ Ninjutsu

Location: Konohagakure

Clan History: For many years a war raged on in secret between the two halves of this clan. The Tenshi path believed that they where holy beings and must purge the world of their evil cousins. They lived rich lives and where revered as saviors. However they where not as strong as the Oni so they where only able to hold on by the grace of their allies.

The Oni on the other hand where violent as could be. From the poorer parts of town they grew to survive as thugs and murderers. They perfected their art of killing and envied their wealthy cousins greatly. Often attacking them in the night and murdering many of them if they could. This war raged on for over 50 years with the family slowly dwindling down.

It was when a child was born of both clans that everything began to change.  He was known only as Shūtai and he was more powerful then either clan by itself. He combined Genjutsu and Ninjutsu to begin to enforce peace between the two clans. It took 5 more years after he began but finally he had established peace between the three paths of the clan. Now his own blood line has grown over the generations and the peace still hangs in the balance for the family to honor him.

Kekkei Genkai Description:

Members of this clan are born with their chakra deeply infused with their blood. Because of this they can not innately use elements however any blood expelled out of their body is under their control with simple hand movements via ninjutsu. Members of the Chi clan can also produce blood from chakra much like how Suiton jutsu produces water from chakra.


Chi members begin to change when injured such as when they actually begin to bleed from wounds such as open gashes from small open wounds. Any  damage that would cause bleeding B rank and under can trigger this. At this point the ninja's eyes begin to change. The Tenshi paths eyes grow lighter and nearly white. The Oni Pupils turn pitch black and the Shūtai path’s eyes begin to turn red in the pupils. At this point the user begins to grow more violent.

The Second stage is when the wielder has sustained heavy damage and is bleeding profusely from any damage that would cause bleeding A rank and up or from 6 consecutive B rank and under damaging effects that could cause bleeding. They lose control of Their actions and enter into a blood rage. The Shūtai path’s eyes turn entirely blood red. The Tenshi’s eyes turn completely white and the Oni’s eyes turn pitch black. They no longer decide what shape the blood takes but the blood itself attacks everything within the jutsu's range violently with complete killing intent, using any chakra and jutsu necessary in an attempt to kill those in the user's area of perception. This can only be kept up for 5 posts however before the user passes out. After 5 posts all the blood returns into the body as if a parasite to its host.

Drawbacks: Must take the special characteristics Frail and Hemophilia and cannot balance them.  Can not take any elements other than Chiton until Spec jounin rank and Jounin rank. Elements must be trained normally as shown in the guidelines.(This means you can only ever learn two elements that will be considered your second and third element.) Members of the clan can also take born ill as most members die of a rare blood disease at a young age. If a member of this clan takes hesitant element then they must wait until Jounin rank to learn one element and can not learn any more.

Members: Chi Rippa

Kekkei Genkai Jutsu:

All paths
Name: 血遁・収束血天 (Chiton: Shūsoku Chiten - Blood Style: Ichor Memory)
Canon/Custom: Custom
Rank: C-S
Type: Offensive/defensive
Element: Blood
Range: C-25, B-40, A-60, S-80
Specialty: Ninjutsu
Duration: C-B 5 chakra per post A-S 10 chakra per post.
Cooldown: Double the duration.
Description: A Chi clan member is able to manipulate external sources of blood from their wounds only during blood rage. The jutsu level they are forced to use is the highest level their rank allows. Nothing less. Genin will use C rank Chunnin B rank and so on. You can not activate this without being injured enough to use blood rage.

C rank- The Chi clan member is able to manipulate up to 1/2 a pint of blood and direct it to move up to 15 mps. The blood moves where they direct it with their hands and on impact can pierce 1/4 inch into the target (1 inch deep in blood rage). Or the blood can be used to block basic attacks or jutsu.  The blood can block up to 1 C rank or 2 D ranks before dispersing and going on cool down.

B rank- The Chi clan member is able to manipulate up to 15 pints of blood and direct it to move up to 25 mps. The blood moves where they direct it with their hands and on impact can pierce 1 inch into the target(2 inches in blood rage). Or the blood can be used to block basic attacks or jutsu.  The blood can block up to 1 B rank or C D ranks before dispersing and going on cool down.

A rank- The Chi clan member is able to manipulate up to 1 pint of blood and direct it to move up to 35 mps. The blood moves where they direct it with their hands and on impact can pierce 2 inches into the target(Can pierce clean through in blood rage). Or the blood can be used to block basic attacks or jutsu.  The blood can block up to 1 A rank or 2 B ranks before dispersing and going on cool down.

S rank- The Chi clan member is able to manipulate up to 3 pints of blood and direct it to move up to 45 mps. The blood moves where they direct it with their hands and on impact can pierce straight through a target(During blood rage can rip a target apart into pieces). Or the blood can be used to block basic attacks or jutsu.  The blood can block up to 1 S rank or 2 A ranks before dispersing and going on cool down.

Tenshi(Angel) path
Name: 甘露膿漿 (Kanronōshō - Regenerative Blood)
Canon/Custom: Custom
Rank: C-A
Type: Supplementary
Element: Blood
Range: contact
Specialty: Med jutsu
Duration: 1 post
Cooldown: 3 posts
Description:

~C Rank~ The caster can heal 1½ inch cuts, major external bruising, fractured bone, or minor 2nd degree tissue damage ffor 15 chakra.

~B Rank~ The caster can heal with one hand per target. Though they must still touch the target they can heal moderate wounds such as 3 inch cuts, broken bones and minor 3rd degree tissue damage. This costs 20 chakra and an extra 10 chakra per person touched.

~A Rank~ The caster now has to be within 5 meters of a target and can direct their blood to them to heal what their blood touches. This includes up to minor 4th degree tissue damage and serious wound (A rank damage) Blood that is used for healing must be infused with 25 chakra.


Oni(Demon) path
Name: 邪険悪鬼 (Jakkenaki - Blood Fiend)
Canon/Custom: Custom
Rank: C-A
Type: Offensive, Defensive
Element: Blood
Range: Short to mid range and the user must be able to see the target.
Specialty: Puppeteering
Duration: 5 chakra per puppet per post for C-B 10 chakra per puppet per post for A-S
Cooldown: 2 posts
Description: The caster can raise A blood puppet in the appearance of a demon from any blood on the battlefield his or her blood has touched. And control them with a wave of their hand.

~C rank~ Allows the caster to create one puppet to control at a time. This puppet can only move within the casters line of sight up to 25 meters away. It can move at 25 mps and can only deal major bruising and fracture bones on a direct hit.

~B Rank~ Allows the caster to create up to two puppets to control at one time. These puppet can only move within the casters line of sight up to 40 meters away. It can move at 35 mps and can break bones on a direct hit.

~ A Rank~ Allows the Caster to create up to three puppets to control at one time. These puppets can only move within the casters line of sight up to 60 meters away. It can move at 45 mps and can shatter bones on a direct hit.



Shūtai(Abomination) Path
Name: 流出血現 (Ryūshutsu Chigen - Bloody Mary)
Canon/Custom: Custom
Rank: C -A
Type: offensive
Element: Blood
Range: Target must look into the mirror And hear the words
Specialty: Genjutsu, Ninjutsu
Duration: 4 posts
Cooldown: 8 posts
Description: The caster brings his blood up to form mirrors. Once the opponent looks at the mirror they see a dark little girl crying black blood within. At this point the caster says Bloody mary three times. The girl screams in agony and the Mirror shatters. Out of the corner of the targets eyes he will keep seeing her. At this point the caster forms a hand seal and Bloody mary turns into a solid clone right behind the target wielding a knife and screaming bloody murder. When this clone is destroyed it bursts into more blood.

~C Rank~ The user creates one Mirror and one clone. The Clone is not very strong but designed to be very creepy must be hit with either 2 D rank jutsu or 1 C rank jutsu to disperse the clone or deal it a killing blow. Upon dispersion they burst into a thick crimson mist. The clone can not form any jutsu and can only move up to 40 meters from where it was created. The clone moves at 15 mps and with its knife can cut up to 1 inch deep.

~B Rank~ The Caster can create up to two mirrors, for two clones. Each extra clone costs 20 chakra . The Clones are not very strong but designed to be very creepy must be hit with either 2 C rank jutsu or 1 B rank jutsu to disperse the clone or deal it a killing blow. Upon dispersion they burst into a thick crimson mist. The clone can not form any jutsu and can only move up to 60 meters from where it was created. The clone moves at 25 mps and with its knife can cut up to 2 inches deep.

~A Rank~ The caster can now create up to four mirrors. And four clones for an extra 25 chakra per clone. The Clones are not very strong but designed to be very creepy must be hit with either 2 B rank jutsu or 1 A rank jutsu to disperse the clone or deal it a killing blow. Upon dispersion they burst into a thick crimson mist. The clone can not form any jutsu and can only move up to 80 meters from where it was created. The clone moves at 35 mps and with its knife can cut clean through a targets limb.



Last edited by Rippā on Sat Nov 08, 2014 9:10 am; edited 6 times in total

2Chi Empty Re: Chi Wed May 14, 2014 11:31 pm

Rippa

Rippa


D-rank
Edited

3Chi Empty Re: Chi Sun Jun 01, 2014 1:45 am

Rippa

Rippa


D-rank
Bump

4Chi Empty Re: Chi Mon Jun 09, 2014 11:11 pm

Rippa

Rippa


D-rank
Babump

5Chi Empty Re: Chi Mon Jul 14, 2014 6:59 pm

Mikage

Mikage


D-rank
Okay, first of all, to avoid the headache of scrolling through to look for the new write-up, could you edit the new write-up into the original post (via Mure's account), or let me know whether it's alright to remove the first couple posts so that your new write-up is the first one?

The KKG description right now seems rather choppy and random - with it mentioning injuries, then suddenly a whole "last stage" thing. Maybe try writing it in a chart / list format, with stages of injuries and how the effects progress.

For drawbacks ... I'd like at least one of the negative SCs (if not both) to be unbalanced by a positive to make the drawback slightly more substantial. Specify exactly what rank a clan member needs to be in order to learn elements - "higher ranks" is too vague. Also, instead of saying "train them from E rank", just state that it must be learned, as opposed to starting at higher ranks.

Leaving the jutsu for further review - I'd like to see how the kkg works out first.

6Chi Empty Re: Chi Mon Jul 14, 2014 7:07 pm

Rippa

Rippa


D-rank
Go ahead and delete everything up to that post. I shall work on the rest.

7Chi Empty Re: Chi Tue Jul 15, 2014 3:22 pm

Mikage

Mikage


D-rank
Done. Bump when edits have been made.

8Chi Empty Re: Chi Wed Jul 16, 2014 9:59 am

Rippa

Rippa


D-rank
Bump I think.

9Chi Empty Re: Chi Thu Jul 17, 2014 5:22 pm

Mikage

Mikage


D-rank
KKG and drawbacks look fine.

However … for the jutsu, I don't think this is a special enough circumstance that it would allow for two scaling techniques - especially when they all scale to S rank. I have two suggestions.

a) Rework Ichor Memory into a non-ranked technique that depends entirely on user rank with its sole purpose being that the technique activates during blood rage, so it cannot be activated at will.

b) Generally, a clan allows members to have 4 jutsu total. You can keep Ichor Memory (C-S), and the other techniques are dropped until they only scale up three ranks - without S rank (to take up the remaining 3 free clan jutsu slots).

Feel free to suggestion your own way or working this around, but at the moment, it won't work with all techniques scaling up to S rank.

10Chi Empty Re: Chi Fri Jul 18, 2014 12:49 am

Rippa

Rippa


D-rank
Edited

11Chi Empty Re: Chi Tue Jul 22, 2014 1:40 pm

Mikage

Mikage


D-rank
Bloody Mary: This needs to just solely be Genjutsu. The addition of the clone can be a separate technique used in conjunction with this technique, but I don't like the idea of this being both Genjutsu and Ninjutsu, with the capability to do damage.

12Chi Empty Re: Chi Tue Jul 22, 2014 2:10 pm

Mure

Mure


D-rank
That one I disagree with. I don't see any reason two specializations can't be combined. Furthermore the genjutsu doesn't do any damage. It makes a few freaky flickers and then the ninjutsu makes clones with no chakra. Thats all the technique does.

13Chi Empty Re: Chi Tue Jul 22, 2014 2:19 pm

Mikage

Mikage


D-rank
It would still be two techniques being mashed into one in order for this to work. Even reading the description, it states that the user follows up with a series of hand seal in order to make the clone materialize. I know the genjutsu doesn't do any damage - but that's the same wiht all genjutsu techniques, none of them can deal physical damage. So with just the genjutsu itself - without the additional Ninjutsu portion - it would already be on par with other genjutsu techniques of its rank. On occasion, I am okay with techniques using more than one specialization, but not in this form; something like, using Ninjutsu to act as a trigger for the Genjutsu would be fine as a combination.

14Chi Empty Re: Chi Tue Jul 22, 2014 2:39 pm

Mure

Mure


D-rank
But the Genjutsu has no effect. It does no damage. It doesn't blind the enemy, it doesn't effect the senses. It is just a flicker of motion before the ninjutsu makes a clone. If anything the genjutsu is stupendously weak.

15Chi Empty Re: Chi Wed Jul 30, 2014 10:04 pm

Mikage

Mikage


D-rank
Feel free to increase the capabilities of the genjutsu if you wish, but I am against the idea of both Genjutsu and Ninjutsu to be used together in this way - as mentioned, the only way I'd allowed it to happen is if Ninjutsu is used as a basic trigger for a Genjutsu. Having it being used the other way around, with the Ninjutsu having offensive properties is still something I personally wouldn't approve.

16Chi Empty Re: Chi Thu Jul 31, 2014 7:33 am

Mure

Mure


D-rank
Could you please show me an example of what you would prefer to see?

17Chi Empty Re: Chi Thu Jul 31, 2014 6:04 pm

Keiko

Keiko


D-rank
I'm not quite sure what you want me to do. An example of how your jutsu should be written, or an example of what a Genjutsu technique is like?

What I want to see is the Genjutsu portion (mirrors and the little girl crying) to be a jutsu itself [Jutsu A]. And a secondary jutsu with the clones [Jutsu B]. Jutsu A and B would be separate from each other - they can be used together like one would use two techniques in conjuction with each other, but they cannot both be a part of a single jutsu. Or you can remove the clone part entirely and just leave the Genjutsu portion, fleshed out a bit.

18Chi Empty Re: Chi Thu Jul 31, 2014 9:57 pm

Rippa

Rippa


D-rank
Is there an option where I have the chakra cost the equivalent of two techniques?

19Chi Empty Re: Chi Thu Jul 31, 2014 10:29 pm

Mikage

Mikage


D-rank
Meaning keep this as one technique but pay twice the amount of chakra? If that's the case, then no, it isn't an option. I want them as two separate techniques, the chakra cost itself isn't the main issue - though a byproduct of splitting it up.

20Chi Empty Re: Chi Sun Dec 14, 2014 1:35 pm

Tame

Tame


D-rank
Bloody Mary: Seeing as how the illusion is really just an ornamental for the jutsu, this is fine. It does need a range in which you can form the mirrors, though. I presume it is also limited to existing blood pools on the battlefield.

That being said, I have little other objection to this jutsu.

Blood Fiend: Maximum speed or fracturing bones; one or the other.

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