“Ten minutes after eight,” Bokuden noted while checking the time, “She’s late. How the hell is she going to be late for a date that she’s paying me for?” As he turned away from the clock mounted on the outside of the restaurant he heard an obnoxious voice yell in his direction.
“There you are!” a girl’s voice shouted, now drawing closer, “How dare you keep a proper lady waiting!?!?” Bokuden closed his eyes and did not turn around, praying that she was talking to someone else. “BOKUDEN! ARE YOU DEAF,” The young woman yelled.
Without opening his eyes he turned to reply to the devil woman who he had been assigned to escort on this date, surely it was some grotesque ogre who fed on the souls of men. “My apologies miss, I didn’t realize you had arrived,” Bokuden explained, “I had no idea you were kept waiting, since you only just arrived here-“
“Just arrived here and still standing outside in the cold! I’m not paying you to help me contract hypothermia, let’s go,” she interjected.
As Bokuden opened his eyes to gaze upon what must surely have been the instrument of his demise he was shocked. The woman who had commissioned this date was not a monstrous troll, but a beautiful young woman with enormous breasts. “Ogre? More like Succubus,” Bokuden thought to himself. “You know my name miss, but I’m afraid I was never told yours,” Bokuden said as his irritation at the girl’s bad attitude was swept away by his own X-rated thoughts.
“Jasmine, now let’s go,” she demanded as she grabbed and pushed up against Bokuden’s arm. “Tall and handsome, just as I requested, he’s perfect! Kuwabara is going to be so pissed!” Jasmine thought to herself as she smiled happily at her date. Bokuden chose to ignore he rudeness in favor of her looks and boldness and escorted her into the restaurant. As soon as they were seated however, she started back up again. “I’m surprised at how nice of a restaurant this is! Daddy always told me that shinobi are just lower class filth to be used to do your bidding, I almost expected you to take me to some dirty shack where poor people eat!”
Bokuden couldn’t believe the absurdly insulting flow of sewage that was spouting profusely from this girl’s mouth. He was about to get up and leave her at the restaurant until he remembered what the Raikage told him when he was assigned this mission.
“Also Bokuden, this girl is a total bitch, but her family is extremely influential in the Lightning Nation and she’s paying us good money so don’t mess this up. I chose you specifically for this mission because of your experience in dealing with these kinds of people and because you are popular with the young women of the village. If I hear that this date didn’t go smoothly for any reason at all I’m going to DESTROY you. I deal with enough crap from her father because of his relationship with the Daimyo.” The Raikage’s words echoed through Bokuden’s head as he discarded the thought of leaving out of fear for his own safety.
For a short while after that Bokuden sat at the table and listened to Jasmine talk about herself, and by listen I mean nod his head in agreement and wish he was somewhere else while occasionally glancing down at her chest. He had met this kind of girl a thousand times before, they didn’t want you to speak to them they just wanted you to agree with them. When the appetizers arrived however, things quickly went south again. “I said I wanted these cut into squares, these are rectangles!” Jasmine screamed at the top of her lungs, “Do you not know how to use a ruler? Are you that stupid!?!?” Bokuden could tell that the waitress was reaching her tipping point and swiftly picked up his knife and sliced them into perfectly square pieces.
After the waitress stormed off and Jasmine went on for another couple of minutes about how terrible the service was Bokuden excused himself to go to the restroom. The restroom was just an excuse for him to go and find that waitress. When he asked one of the other waitresses she told him she had gone out back to cool off. “Not good,” Bokuden thought to himself, “I’m going to get spit in my food for sure.” He ran to the back of the restaurant using the exit in the kitchen to avoid being seen by Jasmine and found the waitress crying in frustration. He cautiously approached her and asked, “Excuse me miss, are you okay?”
The waitress glared at Bokuden and yelled angrily, “What do you want!? Hasn’t your girlfriend had enough?” He hadn’t noticed before because his mind was on autopilot to ignore Jasmine, but the waitress was pretty cute.
“I’m so sorry for the way she treated back there, but she isn’t my girlfriend. This is just a mission I was assigned. She’s paying me to go out on a date with her and from that display back there I guess it is easy to see why she had to resort to that to find a date.” Bokuden casually joked. The waitress tried to hold back her smile, but it was obvious she wanted to laugh. He then pulled out the Handkerchief embroidered with his clan’s symbol that he keeps in his pocket and wipes off the last few tears that were sitting on her face and smiled.
She smiled back, obviously cheered up, and asked, “A mission? So you’re a shinobi then?”
“I am,” Bokuden replied, “and it seems as if we both have to get back to work with that girl doesn’t it? But I suppose if I’m working with you it will make ease the pain a bit.” Bokuden smiled at the waitress and offered her his hand. She accepted his invitation with a smile and accompanied him back into the restaurant.
Upon returning to the dining area the two heard a commotion going on. Two people appeared to be having a couple’s dispute. One sounded like a man and the other was… “Oh god, I wasn’t even gone for five minutes. Please tell me it isn’t her,” Bokuden thought to himself, but it was Jasmine. She appeared to be in an argument about the date with some slightly older than her. Duty bound, Bokuden stepped in between the two and glared at the man. “Is there a problem, Jasmine?” Bokuden asked as his left hand rested on his sword.



“Hell yeah there’s a problem,” the other man exclaimed, “You’re on a date with my girlfriend! You’ve got some nerve taking out another man’s girl and sending him a message telling him where you are taking her! Did you think I would just let that slide!?!?”
“Damn it,” Jasmine thought to herself, “that loud mouthed idiot is going to ruin my whole plan!” She needed to prevent herself from being exposed to be responsible for that letter. “Don’t listen to him Bokuden, sweetie,” she whined as she clung to Bokuden, pressing her breasts up against him, “He’s just my crazy ex Kuwabara who won’t leave me alone! I’m scared!”
She was a terrible actress and at this point it was obvious that she was using him to make her ex jealous, but Bokuden played along because of his orders… and boobs. Bokuden let out a sigh and looked over at the waitress from before and shook his head letting her know his displeasure with the whole situation. Finally Bokuden rolled his eyes and said to Kuwabara, “Fine, you obviously came here armed for a reason. If you are looking for a fight, then step outside.” As the three made their way outside they were followed by a crowd of restaurant goers and staff.
“This is perfect!” Kuwabara shouted as he drew his sword, “Now I have an audience to watch me beat you into the ground!” He then started laughing hysterically. He had a terrible laugh and Bokuden wanted to shut him up, but knew injuring a civilian is forbidden. At that moment he had a thought, one that would shut Kuwabara and Jasmine up. Bokuden turned around, grabbed Jasmine by the waist, and kissed her. “You son of a bitch! I’ll kill you!” Kuwabara screamed as he charged at Bokuden.
Bokuden quickly let go of Jasmine, who was still in shock from the kiss, and dashed at Kuwabara. As they were about to cross paths Kuwabara grabbed his katana with both hands, raising it above his head in preparation for a downward slash and Bokuden prepared to draw. As they clashed the crowd was left in suspense waiting for the result as they had seen no blood. “Did I get him?” Kuwabara questioned?
“No,” Bokuden replied. The moment Bokuden finished sheathing his sword a series of slash marks appeared around Kuwabaras pants caushing them to rip apart. Embarrassed, Kuwabara ran away crying and mortified as the crowd laughed at him. Immediately after Kuwabara was out of site a carriage pulled up in front of the restaurant.
“Looks like my ride is here, Bokuden,” Jasmine said as she approached him.
“Was that a good enough performance for your plan?” Bokuden sneered.
“So, you knew the whole time, huh?” Jasmine replied as she blushed, embarrassed to have been found out.
“Of course,” Bokuden said with a grin.
“I see. Yes, that was everything I could have hoped for and more. Thank you,” She replied with a smile, still blushing, “I have to go now, but thank you again.” She stepped forth and kissed Bokuden on the cheek, hopped in the carriage and rode off.
“Maybe she’s not as bad as I thought,” Bokuden thought to himself, “Ah well, whatever.”

Word Count (1684/1000)