1 A Return to Fear [Sero/Nobuya] Fri Apr 26, 2019 9:25 pm
Nobuya
D-rank
One last time. I can't mess this up. I've got this. Master Sero's gonna respect my progress. Or at least the spiders will, hopefully. They did seem like an excitable bunch towards the end.
I was up early this morning. Today was the day I was to report back to Master Sero with news of my progress. He had assigned me a difficult task, but I think I accomplished it. Well, kind of. He had told me to develop a jutst that used three seals simultaneously to have multiple effects. And technically, that is what I accomplished. Still, it really only had two main functions. Although it utilized three seals, I had to use the third one to help stabilize the other two, making sure chakra didn't leak and render them useless. Master Sero's expectations aside, I was actually pretty proud of what I had come up with. It was a pretty large jutsu, and it would definitely be helpful for not only myself, but the rest of my team as well. It was essentially a shield made of water, that had some special properties. I couldn't wait to show them to Master Sero. Especially since it involved the other piece of advice he had given me.
But as much excitement as I had, it was coupled with dread at the thought of going back to that island. Every time I thought back to my experience, I couldn't help but shudder. I was very grateful to Master Sero for agreeing to help me, but I have to admit I had hesitations about whether I should actually follow through. Was the help he offered really worth the incredible mental strain it necessitated? In the end, I decided that it would just be one more bridge to cross. If I couldn't get over this, then what would happen if I lost my calm in the field? I'd be killed!
So, I would go back. I would show him my jutsu, and hopefully he'd be willing to teach me more. And this time, I'll be more confident. I won't run in fear. I won't cry and vomit outside the gate. And most importantly, I WILL stay for tea.
I smiled. It was ready. And hopefully, so was I. I finished packing my gear, had a quick breakfast downstairs, and headed once more towards that wide, lonely road on the way to the island of spiders. I forgot how long the walk was, but I guess it seemed longer now that I wasn't experiencing everything for the first time. Still, my stomach couldn't help but twist a little. I closed my eyes as I continued to walk forward. Aruide's advice came to mind.
“You must learn how to fight past the pain. Train yourself to separate the feeling of the body from the machinations of the mind.”
I tried clearing my head, focusing only on the task at hand.
I'm on the road to the red Tori gate. Once I reach there, I'll travel across the bridge. Then, I'll walk through the forest. Through the garden. To the door. That is my first objective. My first task.
I opened my eyes once more, a determination rising in me. I felt confident, strong. I could do this. I wouldn't fall victim to the fear again. Eventually, I reached the Tori gate. It looked unchanged, still damaged and seemingly forgotten. But I knew that as much as the island's appearance would have you believe it was abandoned, the truth was far from that. I took a breath, and stepped through the gate.
Almost immediately, the confidence and determination that I had a moment before, that seemed to me indomitable, suddenly drained away in a flash. Once again their arose the feeling of fear, the feeling that something infinitely more powerful than me was watching, and it was hungry.
What am I doing here, what am I doing here? This was a mistake, I shouldn't have come back. I shouldn't have. Why did I think this was a good idea? I mean, he made me kill someone last time, what's he gonna make me do this time? Something horrible, but I'll have no real choice. Why would I do this to myself? What good could come of-
Once more I closed my eyes. I imagined that I was back underground, back training with Aruide, trying to become strong enough for King Arutota's -- or I guess it was really Aruide's -- approval. I remembered the way he would come at me, alternating between his claws and massive tail, trying to knock me off my guard. It hurt, but the whole point of Machidō was to ignore that. To move past the pain of the body and focus on the tactics of the mind.
I didn't go through all that training for nothing, had I? Am I just a faux ninja, unworthy of the summoning contract I had been given? No. I am Nobuya Yomechiro, and I earned that contract. I endured the pain, and kept pushing. I could do this. I will do this.
My determination like a phoenix reborn, I pushed once more through the fog, reaching the trees with webs strewn overhead. Once more, I walked through the woods.
I can do this.
Once more, I looked at the red eyes staring right back at me. I didn't know if they remembered me, that I am an ally of Master Sero's, and not spider food. I pressed on.
I can do this.
I walked into the garden. For once not in a hurry, I took a moment to observe the statues. They depicted monsters and beasts, cracked and crumbling effigies that were perhaps beautiful in their time, but now lay decrepit in the garden of the old manor.
I wonder if Master Sero would ever want me to clean this place up a bit, or if he really just likes it like this?
I smiled to myself. I realized that this was one of the first times I hadn't had a thought on this path that was corrupted by the fear of the island. I was still terrified at the moment, but maybe Aruide's method was actually working. Except instead of ignoring just the pain in the body, I could ignore the pain in the mind as well. I walked once more to the grand door and knocked three times. I looked behind me to see the shapes' and figures' crimson eyes.
"Master Sero! It's Nobuya, and I believe I've completed the technique in the way you specified! I am very eager to show it to you."
WC: 1134
I was up early this morning. Today was the day I was to report back to Master Sero with news of my progress. He had assigned me a difficult task, but I think I accomplished it. Well, kind of. He had told me to develop a jutst that used three seals simultaneously to have multiple effects. And technically, that is what I accomplished. Still, it really only had two main functions. Although it utilized three seals, I had to use the third one to help stabilize the other two, making sure chakra didn't leak and render them useless. Master Sero's expectations aside, I was actually pretty proud of what I had come up with. It was a pretty large jutsu, and it would definitely be helpful for not only myself, but the rest of my team as well. It was essentially a shield made of water, that had some special properties. I couldn't wait to show them to Master Sero. Especially since it involved the other piece of advice he had given me.
But as much excitement as I had, it was coupled with dread at the thought of going back to that island. Every time I thought back to my experience, I couldn't help but shudder. I was very grateful to Master Sero for agreeing to help me, but I have to admit I had hesitations about whether I should actually follow through. Was the help he offered really worth the incredible mental strain it necessitated? In the end, I decided that it would just be one more bridge to cross. If I couldn't get over this, then what would happen if I lost my calm in the field? I'd be killed!
So, I would go back. I would show him my jutsu, and hopefully he'd be willing to teach me more. And this time, I'll be more confident. I won't run in fear. I won't cry and vomit outside the gate. And most importantly, I WILL stay for tea.
I smiled. It was ready. And hopefully, so was I. I finished packing my gear, had a quick breakfast downstairs, and headed once more towards that wide, lonely road on the way to the island of spiders. I forgot how long the walk was, but I guess it seemed longer now that I wasn't experiencing everything for the first time. Still, my stomach couldn't help but twist a little. I closed my eyes as I continued to walk forward. Aruide's advice came to mind.
“You must learn how to fight past the pain. Train yourself to separate the feeling of the body from the machinations of the mind.”
I tried clearing my head, focusing only on the task at hand.
I'm on the road to the red Tori gate. Once I reach there, I'll travel across the bridge. Then, I'll walk through the forest. Through the garden. To the door. That is my first objective. My first task.
I opened my eyes once more, a determination rising in me. I felt confident, strong. I could do this. I wouldn't fall victim to the fear again. Eventually, I reached the Tori gate. It looked unchanged, still damaged and seemingly forgotten. But I knew that as much as the island's appearance would have you believe it was abandoned, the truth was far from that. I took a breath, and stepped through the gate.
Almost immediately, the confidence and determination that I had a moment before, that seemed to me indomitable, suddenly drained away in a flash. Once again their arose the feeling of fear, the feeling that something infinitely more powerful than me was watching, and it was hungry.
What am I doing here, what am I doing here? This was a mistake, I shouldn't have come back. I shouldn't have. Why did I think this was a good idea? I mean, he made me kill someone last time, what's he gonna make me do this time? Something horrible, but I'll have no real choice. Why would I do this to myself? What good could come of-
Once more I closed my eyes. I imagined that I was back underground, back training with Aruide, trying to become strong enough for King Arutota's -- or I guess it was really Aruide's -- approval. I remembered the way he would come at me, alternating between his claws and massive tail, trying to knock me off my guard. It hurt, but the whole point of Machidō was to ignore that. To move past the pain of the body and focus on the tactics of the mind.
I didn't go through all that training for nothing, had I? Am I just a faux ninja, unworthy of the summoning contract I had been given? No. I am Nobuya Yomechiro, and I earned that contract. I endured the pain, and kept pushing. I could do this. I will do this.
My determination like a phoenix reborn, I pushed once more through the fog, reaching the trees with webs strewn overhead. Once more, I walked through the woods.
I can do this.
Once more, I looked at the red eyes staring right back at me. I didn't know if they remembered me, that I am an ally of Master Sero's, and not spider food. I pressed on.
I can do this.
I walked into the garden. For once not in a hurry, I took a moment to observe the statues. They depicted monsters and beasts, cracked and crumbling effigies that were perhaps beautiful in their time, but now lay decrepit in the garden of the old manor.
I wonder if Master Sero would ever want me to clean this place up a bit, or if he really just likes it like this?
I smiled to myself. I realized that this was one of the first times I hadn't had a thought on this path that was corrupted by the fear of the island. I was still terrified at the moment, but maybe Aruide's method was actually working. Except instead of ignoring just the pain in the body, I could ignore the pain in the mind as well. I walked once more to the grand door and knocked three times. I looked behind me to see the shapes' and figures' crimson eyes.
"Master Sero! It's Nobuya, and I believe I've completed the technique in the way you specified! I am very eager to show it to you."
WC: 1134