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1Kurohebi Empty Kurohebi Sun Oct 08, 2017 1:42 pm

Yurei

Yurei


D-rank
Symbol:
Kurohebi Unbena10

Kurohebi FAHfQ33
Clan Name: Kurohebi
Location: Scattered [Mainly Land of Demons]
Specialization: Medical Ninjutsu or Taijutsu
Elements: -

Kurohebi HhU72Pp
Clan History:

The Children of Madness

What they did was murder, what they loved was death, and what they fought for was their thirst, thirst for blood. They had an impeccable lust for blood, choking the life out of their victims, ripping them apart, devouring them. They were an organization, a clan, a murderous family.However everyone was quite unique. Each group of them had their preferred method of killing, various reasons, and an unspeakable madness.

There were various rumors around the clan but only one had a semblance of truth. It spoke of their ancestors, three brothers, who almost died protecting their families or so they thought. Their bloodline doomed to end however by some miraculous technique, they were brought back to life as they cursed their fate, wanting revenge.They fell as victims to a scheme, thinking they were heroes, and that they sacrificed their lives for the good of all. However as vengeful spirits, they learned how it was a meaningless sacrifice, made to appease the free time of an old village ruler. Each brother was married and had various sons and daughters only to be robbed of their happiness by a daimyo’s son who wanted to play with a small villagers’ lives as he pleased. When they awoke in a hut, healed by a group a nomads they learned of the carnage. They were called the Three Devils after the tore through the village, murdering ninja and innocent until they made it to the Lord’s castle and cut him down, dying in the process and cursing them forever.

Miraculously, some of the children survived, traumatized and filled with anger. The sons and daughters grew as time passed and were hunted as offsprings of the three devils, fearing the incident would repeat if they were left alive. The abuse continued for years. They was no place for them to run, to hide, and they couldn’t fight. Slowly but surely something dark was brewing inside.

Years passed and the children became adults who created broken families. They lived as nomads never getting too close to outsiders of the clan. Their solidarity and reputation made them the perfect targets for slave traders. Taken by surprise, bound, gagged, abused. Something broke inside them and their chakra was finally fully consumed with darkness. It resulted in the entire slave trade organization slaughtered for bothering them. The Kurohebi were done with the abuse. If the world wanted monsters, they would gladly give them. They would roam the world, spreading their chaos and their hate. Each children born hereafter would be filled with a dark heinous chakra, befitting of a clan of monsters. The anger, the hate, the madness would be passed down from generation to generation. It’s members are scattered and few, hunting and being hunted but it seemed the world would never be freed from the black serpents.

Members:

  • Masa, Yasuo Yūrei, Onryō


Kurohebi Y4syLuV

Kekkei Genkai Name: Kyōki - Madness

Kekkei Genkai Description:

The Kurohebi’s chakra have a high yin concentration and is highly concentrated with madness. The imbalance causes their chakra to be particularly potent with malice, which has caused various mental illness. The high concentration of yin causes to create an aura around themselves with pheromones to cause fear receptors in the brains of those surrounding them at all times. The pheromones trick the victims’ minds to think they are in paralyzing danger thus reducing their capabilities and creating various bodily reactions to fear. This only works if the victims are of equal or lower rank than the clan member. The imbalance of chakra makes them best at disburting chakra pathways through temporary transfers, cause chemical reactions and create distubring genjutsu. The range and degree of effectiveness differs upon rank.

C-rank: The aura is 4m radius and causes -1 tier to speed and reaction time. Affects max 3 targets of the user's choosing. 2000wc to unlock.

B-rank: The aura is 6m radius and causes -2 tier to speed and reaction time. Affects max 4 targets of the user's choosing. 4000wc to unlock.

S-rank: The aura is 15m radius and causes -3 tier to speed and reaction time. Affects max 5 targets of the user's choosing. 6000wc to unlock.


Drawbacks:

Fixing the Imbalance:

  • The only way to disable the aura is using a jutsu to restore the imbalance of yin and yang chakra inside of the Kurohebi. These jutsu would include healing techniques of equal rank or higher than the Kurohebi. It would only shut down the aura for 4 posts however. The victim can also use a healing jutsu on themselves. The healing works to restore their chemical compsition to shut off the fear receptors for 4 posts if the technique is of equal or higher rank than the Kurohebi or simply get out of the range. If the imbalance is fixed on the Kurohebi, then they are temporarily cured of their mental illness.

    Ex: Kurohebi has B-rank aura. Other uses B-rank or higher healing jutsu on themselves or Kurohebi, shutting off the effects for 4 posts.


Chakra Beacon:

  • The aura whilst invisible to the naked eye, can easily be seen by any dobjutsu as a dark cloud. If the Kurohebi is not supressing their chakra, any chakra sensory jutsu C-rank or higher will detect it.


Chakra Shortage:

  • Due to the imbalance of chakra and skewed chakra pathways, the Kurohebi always have -30 to their chakra pool.


Mentally Ill:

  • The Kurohebi's imbalance of yin and yang chakra has caused them to suffer from various mentally illnesses that go untreated. These illnesses can be anything from mood swings, hallucinations, and sudden bouts of mania. Therefore they must choose at least one of the mental illnesse special characteristcs below when they reach C-rank and unlock the aura.


Mental Illnesses:

Accursed Clan:

  • Kurohebi cannot start in main shinobi villages and must begin as ronin.



Last edited by Yasuo on Sun Oct 29, 2017 11:29 am; edited 10 times in total

2Kurohebi Empty Re: Kurohebi Thu Oct 12, 2017 4:00 pm

Issei

Issei


D-rank
Alright so this clan has passive abilities and scaling without any sort of training, and the drawbacks are fairly lacking. We'll get into that, but first, for clarification, how do the healing techniques work to fix the imbalance? I don't quite understand. If the victim is healed, the aura's effect is cleansed from them? Or if the Kurohebi is healed, their aura shuts down? It's a bit confusing.

As far as the actual aura goes, 3 stats debuffed for 1 buffed stat isn't gonna fly. Choose 2 stats to debuff of the 3 listed. Next, add some sort of training. I don't like that it just ranks up and its effects grow stronger as the shinobi does. I would recommend something like it starting at D-Rank, and then 1,000 words from D to C, 2,000 for C to B, 3,000 for C to A, etc. You can offset some of these word counts with ryo costs if you'd like.

What rank sensory jutsu can detect the aura? Be more specific about that.

Chakra shortage is a good drawback, leave it as is.

Accursed clan isn't really a drawback, that is just based in their history more than anything. I'd like you to add one more proper drawback, such as a negative special characteristic or some kind of counterbalancing stat debuff (for example, the aura could cause the Kurohebi themselves to also suffer from -1 in a stat of your choice whenever it is active).

http://www.narutosaga.com/t23427-new-organization-ninshiki#18669

3Kurohebi Empty Re: Kurohebi Thu Oct 12, 2017 10:56 pm

Yurei

Yurei


D-rank
Edited. Tried to explain as well as I can but if more clarification is needed I can provide it.

4Kurohebi Empty Re: Kurohebi Fri Oct 13, 2017 12:36 pm

Issei

Issei


D-rank
Mentally Ill: does this only affect Genjutsu or is the "looser grip on reality" a more general thing? I'd prefer the latter, as being specifically weak to Genjutsu is kind of a niche drawback compared to the broad benefits this clan provides.

as far as balancing the aura, referencing the jutsu rules (in this case they are all negatives):
Jutsu Rules wrote:C-Rank: +1 tier (with Drawback)
B-Rank: +1 tier (no Drawback)
A-Rank: +2 tier(with Drawback)
S-Rank: +2 tier (no Drawbacks) or +3 tier (with Drawback)

What you have here is:

-2 tiers at D and C Rank (-1 in two stats)
-4 tiers at B and A Rank (-2 in two stats)
-6 tiers at S Rank (-3 in two stats)

In addition to it being max range, passive (and thus always active), and no chakra cost (though you do have a permanent chakra reduction).

So either lower the range, lower the debuff, or make the Mentally Ill drawback a full special characteristic with additional effects similar to schizophrenia or something of the like.

http://www.narutosaga.com/t23427-new-organization-ninshiki#18669

5Kurohebi Empty Re: Kurohebi Wed Oct 25, 2017 7:08 pm

Issei

Issei


D-rank
The new mental illness special characteristic helps balance things out. One more thing, I'd like you to make the aura's debuffs only apply to a maximum number of people at once. The way I see it, currently you can debuff an unlimited amount of people so long as they are within range, and that is a bit too powerful considering it is a -3 to two stats at S-Rank. Limit it to 5 people affected maximum at S-Rank (and less at lower ranks) and you should be good.

EDIT: Mitsuo has put in his two cents:

"D-rank: The aura is 4m radius and causes -1 tier to speed and reaction time.

B-rank: The aura is 15m radius and causes -2 tier to speed and reaction time. 2000wc to unlock.

S-rank: The aura is 50m radius and causes -3 tier to speed and reaction time. 4000wc to unlock.
I dont like this
I believe it is way too powerful
D Rank's aren't supposed to be able to effect other people's stats"

http://www.narutosaga.com/t23427-new-organization-ninshiki#18669

6Kurohebi Empty Re: Kurohebi Tue Nov 28, 2017 12:33 am

Issei

Issei


D-rank
Approved

http://www.narutosaga.com/t23427-new-organization-ninshiki#18669

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