"Well then. I may not have been assigned a Sensei seeing as how Lady Hokage is off to the Chunin exams, but I might as well start feeding the old wallet." Kantaro stood in front of the mission board, glancing over all the boring requests to return cats and escort old men to distant lands so that they could build bridges. "Though, these missions might not be the best in which to go about that task..." He sighed. "Come on. No Kage in danger, no Missing-nin invasions, no wandering sages in need of a sidekick. What the heck am I supposed to DO around here?"

He sat there for a while, contemplating whether or not to spend the rest of the afternoon trying to sneak into the Sandbox Club and beg for spare change, when he saw a worried looking man frantically race to the board and pin a notice to it. Or at least, he tried to pin up the notice. It might have worked better had he remembered to bring a tack. Finally the man just grabbed a kunai from his belt and speared it through the notice. Kantaro rose to his feet, curious. "Hey, mister, lookin' for a ninja?"

The man glanced at Kantaro, relieved. "Oh, yes, it's very important!" He scanned the Sand Genin from head to foot. "You look like you'll be just the ninja for the job, too."

Kantaro smiled pridefully. "That's right. So, who are we gonna take out?" He paused, confused by the man's smile. "What?"

+++

"Say hello to Senpai Kantaro, children."

"Hello, Senpai Kantaro."

Kantaro looked around the school room. He hadn't been in here for... Two weeks? Ever since he graduated. Oh well. But... Did THIS even count as a mission? "So, all I do is proctor them?"

"Yes. Thanks for coming at such short notice."

"And I get 70 Ryo?"

"Yes."

Kantaro grabbed the stack of papers. "All right then." He turned to the sensei. "Say, why can't you do this job? That's what the village is paying you for, after all..."

The sensei coughed and sprayed some ninja cologne on his lapel. "I have, erm, prior engagements."

Kantaro glared at him. "Yeah. Right. Okay then, just don't take forever."

As the sensei left, all the students glared evilly at each other. They would make this substitute teacher suffer.

The Sand Genin shuffled the papers around as he stepped into the aisle of the academy. This was going to be fun. He remembered well the days when he and his class would be so fortunate as to have a substitute to experiment on. After the papers were distributed, he returned to the front of the room. "All right, maggots." He gazed around, smiling viciously at the looks of anger and indignation on the midgets' faces. "You will have one hour to complete the test. Any cheating will be dealt with severely. I've already done my time, so I know all the tricks." He dropped a pile of smoke bombs and rubber shuriken on the desk beside him. "You can have these back after handing in your papers."

The students gasped and checked their pockets, astounded that this invader had found all their secret hiding places. Hiding places which everyone used, even Kantaro and his academy buddies. Kantaro sat back lazily, watching the students behind half-closed eyes. "All right then. Begin."

Each student swiftly grabbed a pencil and began writing furiously. At least, they appeared to be. Kantaro pulled out his latest book and similarly pretended to read it. Nobody in the room was fooled.

Suddenly Kantaro threw his book aside and hurled one of the rubbed kunai at a student. It bounced off of... A log. "A substitution!" Kantaro growled as he looked around the room. He hadn't caught where the little bugger had gone off to. He heard giggling all around him and slowly turned around. There sat the runaway at the front desk, smoke bombs in hand. Kantaro sighed. He had really walked right in on that one.

The Sand Genin slowly put his hands up, speaking calmly. "Okay, you got me. Just put the bombs down and get back into your seat, and this doesn't have to get any more difficult than it already is..."

"All right, but we all get to pass the test!"

"Sure, whatever. Just put down the bombs."

The student grinned confidently at his fellow students, who were silently cheering him on. He didn't see Kantaro's outstretched hand, crackling with electricity, until it was too late.

+++

The next day the sensei met Kantaro on his way to the academy. "Hey, thanks for yesterday," he said. "I hope they weren't too much trouble."

"Oh, no trouble at all," the Genin replied. "It was really fun, actually. I'd love to do it again."

"All right then, here's your 70 Ryo. have a good day!"

"You too!"

The sensei hummed as he entered the classroom. "Hey, everyone! How did you like Kantaro-senpai?" Silence. Silence, and terrified stares. He looked around. "Hey, where's Jo?" One of the students shakily stood up. "Sensei, we need to have a talk."

+++

Kantaro opened the hospital door. Little Jo was sitting in the bed. He opened his eyes, saw Kantaro, and peed his pants. Withing moments the nurses were escorting Kantaro out of the hospital, Jo's high-pitched screams ringing out in the background. "Jeez, I was just gonna say sorry..." Oh well. There would be more missions. Hopefully they would be as fun as his first had been.

Wordcount: 921