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1Arashi Clan Empty Arashi Clan Sun Oct 02, 2016 9:00 pm

Kakushi Arashi

Kakushi Arashi


D-rank
Symbol: Arashi Clan 66d0e10b8323c9f045434b89d2c3ba9e


   Clan: Arashi

   Kekkei Genkai: 'Burēdomerudo' (ブレードメルド~ Blade Meld).

   Elements: None

   Specialization: Bukijutsu

   Location: Konoha

   Clan History: “When the Blade and the Bladesman truly are one, the world will tremble at their feet.”
    In its early days, Clan Arashi was well-known for producing shinobi of exceptional quality, especially in the areas of ambush and stealth.  Masters of weaponry, especially shuriken, they were famous for special tactics developed to use shuriken as much more than a simple thrown weapon.  Using Ninjutsu techniques, Arashi shinobi could cause shuriken to explode.  They could also cause it to change direction in flight, tracking a target with impeccable accuracy.  They could even use a thrown metal weapon as an “eye”, “seeing” with any flat surface of the weapon.
   Unfortunately, following a rash of failures and traitors, the clan began to move away from its shinobi past, focusing more and more on trade and commerce.  After a few generations, the skills that had once made them powerful were lost, and the Arashi were known as nothing more than silver-tongued traders.  However, that all changed with the birth of Kakushi Arashi.  From the moment he saw his father’s ornamental shuriken, kept as heirlooms from a forgotten past, Kakushi was determined to be shinobi.  His mind was right and his heart was right, and after much training he reawakened the spirit of the past, in particular the clan’s forgotten Kekkei Genkai: The Burēdomerudo, the Blade Meld.

   Kekkei Genkai Description: Burēdomerudo, the Blade Meld, is a very powerful form of Bukijutsu.  Used primarily for shuriken, though capable of being adapted to almost any ranged weapon with a metal attack surface, this kekkei genkai allows its user to use his or her chakra to form a mental bond with their weapon.  This allows the usage of the weapon in jutsu even after it has left the hand.  In the case of shuriken, its most common target, it can be used to guide the shuriken in flight, trigger special effects such as explosions, or even to use the shuriken as an “eye” for reconnaissance.  

   Drawbacks: Just like any powerful technique, the Blade Meld causes some disadvantages to affect its user:

  • The Blade Meld requires intense focus to use.  When using jutsu like the Shuriken Eye and Shuriken Control, a user cannot move.
  • Any Genjutsu trigger that hits a mind-linked shuriken will affect the user as if they were hit.


   Members: To Be Created

   Kekkei Genkai Jutsu:
Shuriken Control:
Shuriken Eye:
Shuriken Mine:
Swarming Shuriken:



Last edited by Kakushi Arashi on Tue Oct 18, 2016 11:41 pm; edited 12 times in total

2Arashi Clan Empty Re: Arashi Clan Wed Oct 05, 2016 7:45 am

Ayakashi

Ayakashi


S-rank
"of toxic gases" we dont have those.

As for drawbacks, the drawbacks of a clan have to do with the penalties that the members of the clan suffer for having these advanced abilities or advantages. Your first example for instance, may say that while the user is using a melding technique, genjutsu triggers can effect the user by hitting their throwing weapon. That would be a functional weakness.

You should also use the jutsu template for your jutsu.

How fast can it control your shuriken? how quickly can they turn? / around what radii?

how do you see from the shuriken? What's the effect? what range of vision do you have?

uhhh, trigger other jutsu? This is so vague it's hard to even comment on.

you need to list your speeds, the damage isn'y much of an issue. how many shuriken? what area does it create of the cloud. Needs info.

3Arashi Clan Empty Re: Arashi Clan Wed Oct 05, 2016 10:16 am

Kakushi Arashi

Kakushi Arashi


D-rank
Its ready to be rereviewed. If something still isn't right, I could use some advice on how to adjust it. This is my first time, and I don't know the canon extremely well, so any help you can give is welcome.

4Arashi Clan Empty Re: Arashi Clan Fri Oct 07, 2016 5:38 am

Ayakashi

Ayakashi


S-rank
I think you're overthinking things a tad. But that's okay, we got you, the KKG you have is really very cool, and you have the idea right when it comes to drawbacks. When in doubt, the best thing you can do is just make things simple and get to the point. simply listing drawbacks by bullet point is okay. You also only need one drawback per one advantage.

I also don't see any way that ninjutsu (functionally, basic magic) would have any effect on your physically if your shuriken was hit, so i would remove that from the equation.

So, what i think would be a good idea, is if you take the drawbacks bit by bit, and turn them into a list, rather than a paragraph and see how many you are giving the clan, remembering that most clans only really have 2-3 unless you're giving them a lot of pros. Which at the moment is just your ability, which is 1.

After you give that a go, i will come back <3

5Arashi Clan Empty Re: Arashi Clan Fri Oct 07, 2016 9:50 am

Kakushi Arashi

Kakushi Arashi


D-rank
Went ahead and made a list. I also took out the specialization requirements, so that gives me two drawbacks for one advantage.

6Arashi Clan Empty Re: Arashi Clan Sat Oct 15, 2016 7:14 am

Ayakashi

Ayakashi


S-rank
Any genjutsu that affects a mind-linked shuriken will affect its user as well.

-should be worded as: Any Genjutsu trigger which hits a mind-linked shuriken will effect the user as if they were hit. (just to be clearer.)

KKG and Drawbacks are otherwise good.

Shiriken sight: A kilometer? no, remove this please, keep to sensory jutsu ranges at the bottom of the jutsu guides.

Shuriken mine: Dealing what damage? How fast is the explosion? how big is the explosion?

Swarm: Put duration for how long the jutsu lasts, so, 5. And also add the chakra component in the description, not the duration. :)

thanks

7Arashi Clan Empty Re: Arashi Clan Sat Oct 15, 2016 8:17 am

Kakushi Arashi

Kakushi Arashi


D-rank
ok ready

8Arashi Clan Empty Re: Arashi Clan Mon Oct 17, 2016 7:17 am

Ayakashi

Ayakashi


S-rank
Didn't change things i asked you to >.>

9Arashi Clan Empty Re: Arashi Clan Mon Oct 17, 2016 9:29 am

Kakushi Arashi

Kakushi Arashi


D-rank
Um, I said that the sight range for shuriken eye is now 20 meters, not a kilometer as was previously written.  Shuriken mine now produces a cubic meter large explosion dealing second degree burns with limb removal and third degree burns if embedded.  Shuriken swarm has a 5 post duration as requested.  I made all these changes after you requested them.  I can very clearly see that shuriken eye, shuriken control, and shuriken mine have the information and changes you requested.  Are you sure you looked closely enough?



Last edited by Kakushi Arashi on Mon Oct 17, 2016 9:33 am; edited 1 time in total

10Arashi Clan Empty Re: Arashi Clan Mon Oct 17, 2016 9:31 am

Kakushi Arashi

Kakushi Arashi


D-rank
I see that I did not completely change the wording of the drawback, but that is the only thing not changed.

11Arashi Clan Empty Re: Arashi Clan Mon Oct 17, 2016 9:51 am

Kakushi Arashi

Kakushi Arashi


D-rank
I changed the wording, and though I wasn't clear if you wanted the duration of all the jutsu change, I went ahead and changed then anyway

12Arashi Clan Empty Re: Arashi Clan Tue Oct 18, 2016 11:43 pm

Kakushi Arashi

Kakushi Arashi


D-rank
After looking at it a little more while waiting for you I decided that the degrees of the directional changes needed to be refined, so I went in and did that. A 90 degree change is now 90 degree or less, so it covers any degree of change within that range. 180 is now 90-180, and 360 is now 180-360, covering any degree of change within their respective ranges.

13Arashi Clan Empty Re: Arashi Clan Wed Oct 26, 2016 3:56 am

Ayakashi

Ayakashi


S-rank
Arashi Clan 2ryk94o

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