1 A Day on the Town. [Invite Only. Various Trainings and Missions.] Tue Dec 22, 2015 7:37 pm
Haruka Ichinomiya
D-rank
- Invite List:
- ---
- ---
Well, there was some down time, and he needed to use it. He was finding the extreme environment of the desert to be wonderfully conductive toward training; it pushed his body and mind far more than he prefered climates, and given his chances of swinging back through this region anytime soon where slim, he felt the need to eek out what he could, when he could. It was strange, he didn't normally feel much urge to 'train', outside of his meditations and studies for his work recording histories and stories about the supernatural and unknown. His urges where falling in line with his secondary work as a ninja; he wasn't completely sure why, either. Maybe it was something to do with Samael? He felt this need to be... useful; this need to be something that could be used and helpful for the older male, so that he would have a way to stay with him. There was no telling why, and nothing about it seemed strange to the albino; which should have been a tell that something was going on. He was never this interested in anyone, nor did he want to get closer to normal humans. Although, to be fair, Samael isn't that normal, nor entirely human; maybe that was it? He was attracted to the supernatural nature of the male; it gave them something they could bond over, on top of that unspoken pseudo-bond that all orphans had. They got along just fine, so far anyway, outside of all of that; and Samael was certainly his 'type', on that unexplored romantic level that was entirely unconscious in his being. Not the demonic nature; that was a point of neutrality to him, as he was well versed in the truth and lores of demons, and understood that at the basic level, they are neither good, nor evil, by nature; it was the choices and actions of a being that decided if it was good or evil or something else entirely; it was everything human about the male that made him... attractive, in several ways, to the younger.
Well, that, and an unknown personality quirk that had roared to life over the male, and was working hard to make Haruka insert himself into Samael's life in a way that would keep them together forever. Haruka's loyalties where heavily in danger of switching; taking him from his clan and putting him firmly into Samael's camp. Not that he would even complain; he wasn't that fond of any member of his 'clan', nor did anything really bind him to them beyond a job and a shared skillset; so really, he would consciously change his loyalties without an issue, if given the chance.
Maybe he should invite Sam out for another date...
Wait, was their lunch really a date? The further out he got from the event, the more he was looking back through rose tinted glasses, and the more it seemed more important than it actually was. Or was it? Baaaah. The changing memories and importance of them was confusing, but he just couldn't find it in himself to be bothered. He almost consciously wanted his warped memories to be right; he wanted, unconsciously at this moment, but more and more actively as time passed, to throw himself at the elder; demand that Samael take him away and keep him; even if it was as some sort of pet or tool or whatever; just so long as he could stay with him. Hnnn, strange urges.
Eyes fluttered open and the boy shot up in his bed; his strange, lumpy, hotel/inn bed that was stupidly uncomfortable and way too soft for his back, but something about it was blissfully cool in the roasting hot desert day and nights, so he forced himself to sleep in it versus on the far more comfortable floor. He'd been thinking in his dreams, that twilight where you where equal parts awake and asleep and your conscious and unconscious minds where able to converse and share information in a way that was able to make sense of. It was something that he'd been trained in; working his mind so that he spent large periods of time in that place between sleep and wake; it was a time where communing with the spirits and the world around him was simple, and he was able to tap into his reserves of power and spread his awareness over large areas and larger dimensional spaces. This training was how he was able to remain calm and remember the things that happened in this time; similar to lucid dreaming or learning to keep a dream journey. He'd been trained long ago to allow himself to sink into this phase and remain there for far longer than the split instant that most did; he could focus and remain mentally free at the same time, and remember what happened. Most often, it was merely a trippy dream state, sometimes vivid memories or even the occasional spiritual meeting; but today had been... different. Just a blank space and thought; nothing more. His subconscious thoughts and his conscious mind conversing, and coming to a mutual decision that he wasn't able to hang onto; which out of the entire situation was the odd part. He just couldn't remember what had been decided, and that was a little scary.
But just for a moment.
After a moment, and when he first came to full consciousness, he forgot entirely that he was concerned, and reached for the notebook he kept by his bedside at all times. He kept a dream journal, yes; because often times he would find new leads to follow, or work out puzzles and such that he wasn't able to in his waking moments. Habits, ingrained deeply, and ones that paid off.
He remained sitting up in the bed, blankets and single quilt pooled low across his lap, barely covering his decency in a way that would be acceptable to anyone that walked in at the moment. Only his upper body was visible; he was sleeping naked at the time, which for him was extremely strange; but the heat... it was killer to him. He was doing anything he could to stay cool, and this was one way that helped. His body was ghostly, almost sickly pale in the pre-dawn twilight; the last flickers of a candle in the window sill pushing back the shadows of the room. The journey was set aside after the mechanical task of recording was finished, and he reached up to push his shaggy hair from his face. It was getting long, he really should find a set of scissors, or maybe even go to a barber, and trim it back some. Not much, but enough to be more manageable; he needed it long for his work, but this was getting to be too much. He wouldn't be able to hide it under a wig anymore soon, but it was still far too short for him to be able to pass without one. Decisions for later.
Haruka shifted backwards some, pulling himself backwards until his back was resting against the wall and he was supported properly; his shoulders sagging some and his head tilting back so that he was staring upward; blood red eyes staring beyond the ceiling and to the stars above. Even with the odd coolness of the bed, he was sweating up a storm; as much from the heat as the nightmares that haunted his nights rather often. The usual favorites had played across his mind many times over; however there had been a few... new ones. New ones he refused to think on. No, he merely sat there and just breathed; slowly in, slowly out, deep, focused breaths. A meditation exercise. Calming, soothing.
His chest hurt.
The scar, it was burning again; hard and heavy and painful and dredging up nasty memories that where little more than dreams but still there; broken fragments of visions and smells and feelings from before he woke up in that room that wasn't a hospital and spelled the start of him now, the man he was and the broken child he had been. Mixed into the dripping sweat where small, barely there tears; tears he didn't even know he had anymore of after so many years of pain and horror; tears for what he'd lost and what he was. He put on a good happy face, and in some moments he was even content; but most of the time he was miserable in his life, and he hated it. He hated all of it. That hate was dangerous; hate was what brought about the fall of many of his predecessors and the creation of many a white goblin or rage spirit. He didn't want to become those things; he refused to be another fallen spirit that haunted the world and created the need for more of his kind; more exorcists that risked their souls and sanity to protect humanity from what it didn't understand and was ill prepared to deal with.
So then why did he want to be with a half-demon so badly?
"Hnnng...!" Haruka was curling around himself, falling forward into a sort of fetal position with his hands clenching his chest; he was squeezing his scar: that massive swath of knotted and burned flesh that looked like it had been liquified by flames of supreme heat and power; the kind of injury that no one should be able to survive; yet there it was, right over his heart and burning like it was fresh. He couldn't breathe, he couldn't think; the world was a whiteout of pain and fear and anger and all the horrible emotions and desires that would have him fall into depravity of the worst kind. He had to fight; he had to remain as he was. He wouldn't become another dark being.
He just wanted to go home.
He wanted to be with Samael.
He wanted to be safe.
He just wanted the pain to end...
Long seconds pushed into minutes, and slowly... very slowly, he began to uncurl. The pain was... not fading, but he was growing used to it, as often happened. For all he could tell anymore, he was likely in massive pain at all hours of the day and night, yet he only felt it when it flared anew. As the pain subsided, he was able to sit back up, knuckles still white with the force of his fingers on his flesh; there was blood dripping from small wounds, his nails had broken into his thin skin and released the red liquid; adding another layer to the crescent ring around the edge of the scarred flesh. Pained, heavy breaths caused his chest to raise and lower, shudders caused by the waves of pain still wracking his body. It was going to be a long day, if this was the start of it. He'd never likely know what caused his scar to flare; he almost never did, unless some sort of spiritual reasoning was found; so this was likely to go down as another random attack. More memories to suppress, more things to worry about later.
Eyes would eventually open, one hand removed from his chest and used to brush the tears of pain and sadness from his eyes, wipe the sweat from his brow and once again push his silver hair from his face. A single rag, sitting clumped in a large bowl that was full of water that needed to be changed, the pitcher of fresh water beside it, was retrieved and wrung out so that it was merely damp; he used that to clean the blood from his chest and dab at what had made it to the blanket and sheets. He cleansed the cloth in the water bowl and used it once more to wipe himself clean of sweat and such, before dropping it into the tainted water and moving to fetch a robe. He needed to get fresh water; and the tap was down the hall.
Once this errand was done, he was able to use the now fresh water to quickly clean himself; he was basically sponge bathing versus using the showers in the communal bathing space downstairs. It was too busy, there was no way for him to hide his... deformities; as the other patrons put it, from them, and he didn't wish to start a fight. Not over this. It was bad enough when he went down to fetch a quick meal; the inn offered a free 'breakfast' option; not that it was worth much; but it was free, and he didn't need much. A piece of fruit, a pathetic piece of toast... he was fine with that. He'd long since finished off the remains of the lunch he'd shared with Samael; how the rooms had mini fridges but not bathrooms and sinks was beyond him. It must have just been too expensive to bother updating the rooms that much, but it was still better than sleeping until a cloak in an alleyway or somesuch. He'd done that plenty of times, it wouldn't be the first or the last time; but he prefered not to when he could help it. That was a given for most people; having at least a roof over your head was something most humans prefered.
Hmmm... Breakfast sounded... horrifying right now. Too much pain left in his body, too many ghosts of terrible memories. His stomach was already a knot of no, so trying to put things into it was asking for trouble. It wasn't like he needed to eat every single day; he routinely forgot to eat, and would only remember when he collapsed from the lack of energy. It happened with... what should be alarming regularity, but he couldn't be bothered to worry about himself like that. He just... couldn't. There wasn't any reason to, really. He was dispensable enough, another face in a crowd with no worth or reason; outside what his clan assigned him; and that was little to none, yet. He was a beginner, even with his innate skills, and because of that he was expendable. Maybe if he lived another twenty years, he would be worth something to them; maybe if he lived to be one hundred he would be worth something to himself; but that was beyond the point. His apathy, his lack of knowledge about himself, his shattered memories and the torment of his past... it was leading him down a self destructive path, and while he didn't want to find the ending of that path... he couldn't bring himself to turn to another. Not alone.
Maybe that was why he wanted Sam?
Aaaargh. Focus.
Focus on something else. Anything else. Focus on plans for the day. He was going to train, and pick up odd jobs. Him paying for the lunch the other day had taken up most of his spending money, and he needed more to make it for the longer time spent in the village. That involved focusing; pushing away the pain in his chest and centering his mind, so that he was able to focus and work and not be trapped in a dark depression all day. He'd do that... he had to do that, really. There was no other choice; he couldn't just stay in that place; he'd fall so hard that he'd end up a white goblin in less than a month; dead from depression and starvation, if not sooner from dehydration; cursed to spend eternity as a spirit of rage and pain and destruction.
Not something he wanted. His current life was bad enough; spending eternity like that was not what he wold enjoy. Life was shit, but there was nothing he could do about that but keep pushing forward; push forever until he found something better, made something better. Maybe he'd never know the truth of who he was and why he was able to do the things he did; but that wasn't reason enough to be dragged into darkness; was it? He had a decent enough life from some perspectives; he was fed, he had clothing and a little coin in his pocket; he was healthy enough. He had work, he could also go 'home'; in the sense of being 'welcome' enough at any of the clan compounds and owned tea houses and the like; but that wasn't home. He'd still have to leave eventually; if you don't work you don't eat and if you don't work you're not allowed to remain in the clan; not at his ranking, not at his level of usefulness. Hnnn...
Sighing heavily, he reached for his tiny little truck; it was more a backpack than anything else; but it had everything he owned within it. A few scrolls with his clothing for safety, his case of makeup and other tool for when he was undercover; a couple of nice looking hair combs and such, and what little he had by way of ninja tools. A scroll of clothing was retrieved and opened, his simple attire pulled free and thrown on over his bare form; a moment with his make up kit had him looking less pale as the sun finally crested the far horizon and the twilight began to fade into daylight. Shoes, his overclock, and his staff; his little coin purse was stashed within a pocket deep in his layers of clothing. It was all he needed, that and his room key hanging around his neck on a thin chain. He made his way out of the room, locking the door tightly behind him and leaving his troubles behind him; shoving them down into the depths of his mind until he was alone once more; his mask was perfectly crafted after all this time, and he used it to it's fullest. A smile, fake as day to anyone that cared; and sadly, no one did; so no one noticed.
Life was hard, but he'd make due.
Time to be productive...
WC: 3160
3160/3000 Bukijutsu B-A
Last edited by Haruka Ichinomiya on Tue Dec 29, 2015 7:29 pm; edited 2 times in total