1 Dreams and Nightmares [Training][Private] Mon Nov 30, 2015 5:54 pm
Sicarius
D-rank
”You're weak, Sicarius. You'll always be weak.” ”Shut up! That's not true!” ”It is true, Sicarius! You're just a weak, stupid, little girl!” ”I said shut up!” ”Make me! You stupid little weakling!” ”SHUT UP ALREADY!” ”Weak! Weak! Sicarius's stupid and weak!” Laughter from the other children rang out, and the young version of Sicarius clenched her hands into fists as her face grew red. As a reaction to her anger her tear ducts went into over drive and began to produce a mixture of water and salt: tears. These tears ran down her cheeks, making her look more like she was crying then actually seething with barely suppressed rage. ”Look at the weak little baby cry!” This latest taunt caused more laughter, and the laughter drew more of the other orphan children over to the small circle that surrounded her of her usual tormentors. ”I said shut the fuck up!”, Sicarius shouted at the kids. Her use of a foul word brought about a round of gasps and shocked sounds. But, that did little to drown out the sudden ”Sicarius! In my office, now!” that was the orphanages matron shouting at her from the back door where she stood. The kids, laughing, parted to make a path for Sicarius to walk through which she did very slowly, dragging her feet as she walked towards the inevitable. She would be in trouble, again, even if she had been pushed once more to that breaking point. It was the way things had happened each and every time her tormentors ended up cornering her without the matron or one of the orphanages staff members around. As Sicarius reached the back door she turned her head and looked back at the kids; they were all grinning at one another and still laughing. Sicarius slammed the back door behind herself, proceeded to walk down the hallway, and into the matron's office where she was already seated behind her desk. “Look! I didn't do it! They ma--” The matron held her hand up, effectively silencing the rest of Sicarius's protest. ”I don't care who started it, Sicarius. You know better then to use a word like that, we've been through this before. You know you're going to have to be punished for this.” ”Why don't you punish them?! They pick on me each and every day and yet they never get in trouble for it! It's always me who gets in trouble after they pushed me so far I can't hold back!”, Sicarius shouted, still enraged, and still with tears pouring out of her eyes and down her cheeks. ”Because they're not the bastard child of a criminal of this village, Sicarius. You are. Which means you need to hold yourself to a higher standard then them and prove that you won't follow the same footsteps. Now go to your room and stay there until I tell you to come out.” ”....” Sicarius could form no words to dispute this, even if it made little sense to her. It was okay for them to pick on her because she was the bastard child of a missing-nin and a woman who was raped by him and therefore wanted nothing to do with her? The matron and likely everyone else who knew expected her to hold herself to a higher standard while allowing people to continue to bully her? What the hell was there to stop her from wanting to leave? Hell, what the hell was to stop her from wanting to kill each and every one of them while they slept? Nothing, that was what... nothing at all. Yet, she was supposed to not turn into the man who sired her. So, with those thoughts in her mind Sicarius stormed up the steps, stomping on each and every one loudly, and stormed her way into her room, slamming the bedroom door behind herself. Outside she could hear the children laughing again, only it sounded more like playful laughter then the taunting laughs that she had heard just a moment ago. Still angry Sicarius stood up, crossed the few feet to her rooms single window, and slammed it shut too. She didn't want to hear anyone else being happy if she wasn't allowed to be happy herself. Sicarius jumped, startled suddenly out of the dream that was yet another horrible reminder of her young past. Blinking against the bright light streaming in through the window she rolled over and grabbed the hem of the curtain which she then jerked shut. Once the room was smothered in darkness Sicarius raised her hands and rubbed at her face, sighing out loud into the silence of her one room apartment. ”That's not the sort of dream I'm trying to have on a day like today.”, she muttered to herself since there was no one else in the room with her: the lack of snoring told her easily enough that her best friend Sixx was not there after all. Knowing that she wasn't about to be able to go back to sleep after a dream like that she pushed the blanket down to her waist and sat up. Yawning in an obnoxiously loud way she stretched her arms upward, opening and closing her hands in an attempt to get the numb tired feeling out of them that came with the awkward position she had been laying in moments before waking up and turning over. She dropped her arms and then turned from side to side, effectively cracking her back in the process. She then removed the blanket from her legs and stretched them out too. Sicarius turned on the bed and let her legs dangle over the side in the air. She reached sideways to her desk lamp and clicked it once; it filled the room with comfortably dim lighting. ”Hnn, I really need to get carpets installed instead of wood flooring., she muttered to herself after sliding off of the edge of the bed until her feet touched the exceptionally cold floor. With the dream still fresh in the forefront of her mind Sicarius stood up from her bed and walked across the way too cold floor and into the bathroom. Not bothering to close the door behind herself she relieved her bladder and then proceeded to wash her hands. She paused at the sink, looking into the mirror and contorting her face for several seconds as she checked out her appearance. She then ran some more water, splashed it on her face and rubbed it for a moment, effectively waking herself up more so than she had been. When she was done she dried her face off and headed out of the bathroom and towards the kitchen: coffee was definitely in order this morning, as it was every single morning. Coffee was God. Word Count: 1,152 |