True love, huh? Gin currently had trouble believing in such things. When she was younger and more naive - about ten years ago, more or less - she would have thought differently. However, several betrayals and the loss of so many loved ones had damaged her perceptions on such pure notions. There was nothing pure left in Gin, the way she saw it. Maybe her love for her children, but even that had been tainted by the blood that stained her hands in order to protect them. She had always wondered why life often decided to spare the cruel and wicked, those tainted with the blood of others, while throwing away the lives of the innocent and kind so casually. And yet here she was, feeling as the very energy that kept her alive was being forced out of her body, pulled out by force no matter how much she tried to resist. If there was some sort of higher being, he definitely had a sense of humor - letting Gin die while she was trying to save the life of another, as if telling her that that was not her purpose. She could only kill and destroy.
It had never been in Gin to give up so easily. She was stubborn 'til the end and that wasn't likely to ever change. She had thought to force Sanosuke off of her, but decided that her energy was best used to keep walking forward. She would deal with him later. There was one thing that she didn't understand, however. They were friends, yes, but was that anywhere near enough to warrant this? They could barely be together for more than a few minutes without wanting to tear each other's throats out. They were rivals, constantly trying to best each other at every turn. But why was he doing this? Why was he going so far for her?
Absorbed in her own thoughts, she barely felt Sanosuke move in order to toss her to the other side of the cave.
"What the hell was that - ?" she began to yell, but cut herself off mid sentence once the realization hit as to what he was doing, once she saw himself pressing the palm of his hand on the wall of the cave and pouring all of his energy into it. Her eyes widened.
"Stop that! You idiot, stop that right now!" she screamed desperately, but in vain. Her heart was beating hard and fast against her chest. She cursed her legs for giving up under her weight. She cursed her arms for not being able to drag her quickly enough towards him. Tears welled in her eyes. This... this wasn't supposed to happen. Not like this, never like this. Her cried fell on deaf ears. She tried once more to stand up, panting, heaving, her body barely able to support itself with what little energy she had left.
The desperation was clear in her eyes. Slow steps guided her towards him, but he had already collapsed. She knelt down in front of him, listening to him telling her how to leave this place. He couldn't die. No. He had to live.
"You're not getting rid of me that easily!" she said, swinging his body onto his back. Chakra or no chakra, her body was strong. It was built to fight through this sort of thing, past pain and past any lack of energy. She could push herself, for both their sake. For a second, his weight didn't matter. Her lack of energy didn't matter. Her willpower alone let her move her body.
"What's gotten into you today?" She said, searching her fridge for the bottle of Lemon Ciroc that he had asked for. All she had in her fridge back then was alcohol, not too different from how things were now. But she now had to stop drinking. She wondered how that would affect her mental and physical health. But that would come later. She could think of that later on. "You've kissed me and asked me for a drink in the past five minutes, not to mention the fact that you finally agreed to come to my house after a whole year of dating. Tell me, who are you and what have you done to the Jurou Osada I know? Or did someone slip drugs into you breakfast?" She asked, teasing him mostly. She knew that he found her teasing uncomfortable most of the time, but that was why she liked it. Jurou was adorable when he blushed. She downright burst into laughter when he suggested something more than a kiss. She put her hand to his forehead and the other to her own to as if trying to tell if he had a fever. Not that she actually could if she wanted to. Kuroka were bad with all things medicine. "No fever..." She mumbled. "Delusional maybe..? "Let's see... what do I want from the great Jurou Osada?"
He just wanted to surprise his girlfriend and show her that she meant so much to him. He didn't blush this time, but a small red cheek came across his cheekbone, dammit... the blushing was slowly kicking in. As he saw the kiss coming in, more surprising. He took the urge to kiss her back on the lips. Gasp!
Images of the past. Why were they coming to her now, of all times? Her vision was growing cloudy, to the point where her body moved by itself. In front of her, she saw these things - memories - passing by as if they were happening now.
"I'm pregnant," she finally said, biting her lower lip as he stared at her blankly. Jurou had never been one to wear his heart on his sleeve, so to speak. He had always appeared cold to anyone who looked, dutiful - the perfect shinobi, of course. He simply nodded. It wasn't the reaction that Gin had been expecting, he didn't say a word at all. "Is that it? You won't say anything?!"
"My mission in Suna is over. I've been ordered to return to Kiri." Gin's heart sank. So that's how it would end between them. The young fifteen year old girl with the silver hair and cerulean eyes looked at her feet and fell into silence. She knew what he had meant to say. His duty had always come before her. As he had done before, she only nodded, too prideful to beg him to stay, to prideful to let him see the tears in her eyes.
It had been at least seventeen years since that had happened. Her first love, slipping through her fingers like rain from the sky. They had grown to hate each other after that, getting into nothing but fights and arguments whenever they were forced to spend time with each other. Gin kept moving, following the trail Sanosuke had instructed. She still carried him on her back. She coughed violently. What was that...? Its taste was familiar. of course, blood. The crimson liquid slipped from the corner of her mouth and ran down her neck.
"I visited this grave every day for two years. And every single day I'd talk to myself here and pretend you could hear me. I'd ask you to forgive me and I'd blame myself for everything. But then I started getting angry at you for taking the blame. I shifted the blame to you instead. So I stopped coming. It hurt too much." she stood up and her expression turned sour, self-deprecating. "And it turns out you were alive all this time." Gin scoffed, her voice turned hard and slightly angry. "I'm a fool," she said between gritted teeth.
"It wasnt exactly easy for me either. The whole time I was in that desert, lost and starving, I was still in love with you. I didnt have anything to remind me of you, no grave to visit to mourn. Just the sand. But If you want me to go again I will, my entire life is dedicated to doing what's best for you. If I need to go, so be it."
Gin shook her head fervently. "You still don't get it!" She yelled at him, turning around to stare at his back as he started to walk away. "You say you want what's best for me, but you don't even know what that is! You think I want to keep you away from me? Well you're wrong!" She wasn't holding back, at least not with her anger. Her tears were still kept hidden, though not very well. Her eyes had started watering, much to her dismay. "I'm trying to tell you that I've missed you and that I'm sorry and all you get from that is that I want you to leave?!"
One foot followed the other, slowly imitating something akin to walking. Gin could feel her muscles straining, her bones trying to collapse under her weight. As if she would let them. As if she would die in a place like this. As if she would leave Sanosuke here, after all that he had done for her. Never. But one fleeting thought came into her mind and left just as quickly: if she died, at least she wouldn't be alone. And for a moment, Gin smiled.
"Ne, Sake-kun, we'll be together forever, right?" she asked him out of the blue. He looked surprised at the question, eyeing the engagement ring on her finger. He wasn't getting cold feet, was he? Gin doubted it. They were meant for each other, always had been. He got along with Chie and Reiko like no one had before, not even their own father. He smiled at her with a gentleness that only he could manage, one that had always kept her grounded, that had always made her feel like she was just a normal woman leading a normal life.
"Of course we will."
Heavy breathing was the only sound that resonated within the cavern. Gin didn't dare to check whether or not Sanosuke had a pulse. No, of course he had one. He was alive, she just knew it. He was almost as stubborn as she was. And if that meant anything, it was that he was still breathing and that his heart was still beating, however faintly. They would get through this, they would live. That was the only outcome that Gin Kuroka was willing to accept.
They tried to explain that her that Gin wouldn't understand, nor would she be able to do anything at the time. Yet she insisted on delivering the message and did so in only one sentence. "Sake Uisuki is dead," She said, her voice chiming through the room. She turned around and left with a soft smile on her face.
Whatever hope Gin had that her children would live shattered. She felt her stomach sink. She felt sick. She felt her insides twist into intricate knots to the point where it was beyond painful. And like that, it happened. She felt blood trickling down her thighs in a slow and steady flow. She had... She had lost her unborn child. No, no, no, no, no, no, no! This couldn't be happening. It had to be a lie. It had to be! Gin let out a loud screech that tore through the entire hospital wing. Her heart rate accelerated, she began thrashing, trying to gt out of the medics' grasps. They pulled her down and kept her weak form in place. Gin still tried to struggle, though she didn't know what for. She had lost them all in a single day. She had failed. Those were the last thoughts that ran through her head as the medics put her to sleep once more.
It was odd to see herself in all of her past forms. It was like she was looking at someone else. She had changed so much over the years. Her life - once happy and carefree - had also transformed into something unrecognizable. The experience was ethereal. For some reason, it reminded her of smoke - seemingly there, yet impossible to recapture, to manipulate, to change. There was no going back to the past, no matter how much it hurt. All that was left was the future and whatever it may bring.
Wedding bells tolled as she held her new husband's hand. The word was so foreign to her, but it left a sweet taste on her lips when she said it. She was married now, to a man that she loved, to a man that loved her back. She looked at Trilby as they kissed once more for the gathered crowds to see. The Kazekage was now married. For the first time in a very long time, she was genuinely happy. Chie and Reiko were throwing flowers, both smiling brightly as they watched their mother walk away. This... this would mean a new life, a better life for her. There would be no more suffering and no more loneliness. Everything would be alright from now on.
Gin could see the exit now. Or rather, she could feel that it was nearby. The scent of fresh air filled her nose. They would be out of here. Navi would heal Sanosuke and everything would be alright. He would live. Gin's feet dragged on the dirt. Blood trickled from her eyes. She could feel it tracing lines of crimson red across her face and joining the rest. She coughed and a small puddle of it was left on the ground. She was pushing herself past her body's limits, she could feel it.
The blade collided against her arm. She had hesitated. She could have killed him, she could have ended this and saved the lives of many - likely her own as well -but she stopped. She couldn't let herself. This man still meant the world to her. And yet here he was, turning his back on her and on their happiness, on the family that they had always talked about having. Gin had been a fool to trust him. She had been completely blind to what his man - this monster - was and what he was capable of. And still, she loved him. That was probably what hurt her the most. Her arm was severed, but that didn't matter. Nothing else really mattered. He was looking at her with such hatred in his eyes, that she had wished he would have simply killed her right then and there to put her out of this miserable hell called life. This feeling was now so familiar to her. Complete and utter loneliness appeared to be her destiny, the only path that she could walk, shrouded in darkness and nothing more. Happiness wasn't meant for her.
Tears streamed down her face as she smiled a melancholic smile, her eyes closed as her vision blurred - so much blood. She only heard the sound of his footsteps growing faint in her ears. Having experienced situations like this multiple times didn't dull the pain. If anything, it made it worse. And for the first and last time in her life, Kuroka Gin prayed for death.
She finally reached the outside of the cave. She collapsed onto her knees and set Sanosuke on the ground as gently as she could. It was funny that she would be worried about such things considering her current state. Now images of how they had met and the time that they had spent together filled her mind - the times they got drunk at the bar or trained together, the times when they had just spent a whole day together doing nothing but pester each other. Before she knew it, she was pressing his lips to hers, staining his face with blood. Why she had done this, she didn't yet know. All she knew was that everything would be fine now. For the first time in a long time, she actually believed it.
[Training Reaction Time: A to A-3 - 3475/3450]