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1Kazeraikou Done Empty Kazeraikou Done Tue Jun 03, 2014 6:58 pm

forest33

forest33


D-rank
Kazeraikou Done Images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQ6O203B99FMWyAb7-u3dXcexBn4LRtVFx5f5VwpTz_QqhZODozxJhPOQ


Clan: Kazeraikou

Kekkei Genkai: Dragon eye

Elements:

Suiton(Water)
Raiton(Lightning)
Futon(Wind)

Specialization: Ninjutsu

Location: Scatterd

Clan History: It is safe to say that the Kazeraikou clan is one of the oldest clans in Kaminari no Kuni. The oldest data goes 200 years back in time. It shows that the clan used to live a bit further north of the current location of Kumogakure no Sato.

Many of them were craftsmen, artists, musicians, scholars or even samurais. The clan was not exactly wealthy but they were not really poor either. The clan moved to Kumogakure no Sato for about 150 years ago. One of the likely reasons is because it would be easier to find work or raise a family in a village rather than on the countryside.

But all of this would change when the next generation was borne for about 120 years ago. Some of the children in the new generation were five siblings. Their names were Noriko, Kentaro, Yasuo, Sumiko and Ryoko Kazeraikou. Noriko was the oldest while Ryoko was the youngest.

A funny fact is that Sumiko and Ryoko was the first pair of twins to be borne in the family. They were even identical twins to make matters even stranger.

One day, the five children were playing at the playground together. The sky then turned gray in the matter of minutes. It was a warning about an upcoming storm…a storm that has been recorded as one of the worst in Kumogakure.

Rain pelted down from the sky while a thunder could be heard in the distant. Yasuo and Kentaro carried their then one-year old sisters on their back while they ran home as fast as they could.

The next event would change the clan’s future forever. A huge lightning struck all five of the siblings when they were just 100 meters away from their home. All five of them felt unconscious but two ANBU frog members found them ten minutes later. The siblings were taken to hospital immediately for a physical examination.

None of the siblings had serious injuries: they only had a few minor burns. But the tension from the lightning had made changes in their DNA. Some people have later said that the bad storm was caused by a dying dragon that had passed on its spirit to the children. That is only a legend...or is it? The only thing that was known for sure was that the lightning changed their genes in some way.

Those changes would be apparent as the siblings grew older. Yasuo somehow made two bulbs explode at once when he was frustrated with his homework. His twin sisters had made a radio go haywire when they read a funny story. Kentaro himself had noticed that he was able to dodge things thrown at him a lot quicker than before. Had this something to do with the lightning they had been hit?

However, the breakthrough came when Noriko graduated the newfound shinobi Academy at age 10 ½ . Her father wanted to teach her a rather basic Raiton jutsu that she could use on missions. When she aimed it on a dead tree that was going to be chopped down anyways, she burned the tree down when the jutsu hit it! Her father also noticed that her eye color had changed from sapphire blue to sheer emerald when the jutsu had been launched. The man then took her to a medic to see what it was.

The medic says that this ‘injury’ seemed to be permanent but nothing to worry about. When the other four siblings graduated, they decided to find out how you could activate those green eyes. It worried the man a little and he decided to teach his other four children the same jutsu.

Kentaro got a massive headache after his Raiton jutsu made a four feet crater in the ground, Yasuo collapsed with fatigue after he had made a medium-sized bush explode while the recoil of the jutsu sent the twins six feet backwards.

It was clear that the Raiton chakra had awakened something within the bodies of the five siblings. Noriko told them that she felt stronger when they were activated and this bloodlimit could be the start of a new chapter in the Kazeraikou family history. They decided to call it the ‘Ryuugan’ since dragons could control bad weather (i.e. lightning).

All five of them started to experiment with the new power to see what it could do. Their control over Raiton as well as Fuuton jutsus had improved and their five senses became more sensitive. But this made them more vulnerable to genjutsu, which could be dangerous.

All of the siblings except Kentaro moved to other countries. Noriko travelled with her fiancé to Yuki no Kuni while Yasuo became an ambassador in Mizu no Kuni. Sumiko moved to Konohagakure in order to rise in the ranks as an ANBU while Ryoko went to Ame no Kuni to assist her friends during the war.

The shinobi villages in the said countries became ‘minor branches’ of the clan while the main one is still situated in Kumogakure. But today, there are members spread all over the continent.

Kentaro later became a member of the village council. He had four children who all inherited his bloodlimit. His son Keitaro was the only one who stayed in the village since he took his father’s position later on.

It appeared that the bloodlimit gene was a dominant gene. This meant that if the other parent did not have a bloodlimit, it would pass on to their child. As for the Ryuugan…it improved a little for each generation that went on. But the improvement came to a halt when the second generation was borne. The clan is currently spread all across the continent with many different members. Up to this date, the largest branches can be found in Kumogakure as well as Konohagakure.

Kekkei Genkai Description: The Ryuugan allows the user to see the elements of Lightning, Air, and Water within normal viewing parameters. One's natural sight is also enhanced giving the user a wider range of vision. In addadtion to enhanced eye sight the users reaction time increases  +1 tier efficiency. This means someone with Reaction Time trained up to D-0 will have D-1  reaction time. The user sees the elements as three new, vibrant, and opaque colors that mesh perfectly with their normal vision, giving the user the ability to see the three elements without  hindering their normal vision in the slightest. Of course normal vision can hinder this special sight, as the user cannot see through walls or other things as normal.
Drawbacks: Cannot see out of natural line of sight, takes a negligible amount of Chakra to maintain and cannot pierce Genjutsu.The Ryuugan Doujtsu is hindered greatly when the user gazes at extreme amounts of water or bursts of lighting. This causes the user to be blinded for two turns and afterwards a painful migraine forms. Clan members can not learn any katon or doton techniques.Clan members are unable to learn any genjutsu jutus except Genjutsu Dissipation and that is a battle just using that jutsu.
Members:

Kekkei Genkai Jutsu:



Name:
Chibi Ryuugan (Little Dragon Eye)
Canon/Custom: Custom
Rank: "D"
Type: Supplementary  
Element:
Suiton (Water)
Raiton (Lightning)
Futon  (Wind)
Range: 25 m
Specialty: Must have the Chibi Ryuugan  activated.
Duration: -5 chakra per post
Cooldown:  1 post
Description: The first stage of the Kazeraikou Doujutsu forces a temporary change of the user's eyes. The iris and pupil of the eye become one and change to a color decided at the first awakening depending on their mood. The color is like a cloud and swirls around the user's eye when looking around. Small lines of white will flash across the eyes like lightning bolts and continually do so as long as the eye is active. With the First stage of the Ryuugan Doujutsu unleashed, it allows the user to see the elements of Lightning, Air, and Water within normal viewing parameters. One's natural sight is also enhanced giving the capability of seeing 25m ahead of them.The eyes reaction reaction time is increases by +1 tier when activated. The user sees the elements as three new, vibrant, and opaque colors that mesh perfectly with their normal vision, giving the user the ability to see the three elements without hindering their normal vision in the slightest.
Of course normal vision can hinder this special sight, as the user cannot see through walls or other things as normal.This stage is acquired at Genin/ D rank and a training thread of 1000 words is required to activate the eyes.

Name: Ryuugan (Dragon Eye)
Canon/Custom: Custom
Rank: "B"
Type:  supplementary
Element:
Suiton (Water)
Raiton (Lightning)
Futon  (Wind)
Range: 40m
Specialty: Must have the Ryuugan  activated.
Duration: -10 charka per post
Cooldown:  1 post
Description:
The second stage of the Kazeraikou’s Doujutsu forces a temporary change of the user's eyes. The iris and pupil of the eye become one and change to a color decided at the first awakening depending on their mood. The color is like a cloud and swirls around the user's eye when looking around. Small lines of white will flash across the eyes like lightning bolts and continually do so as long as the eye is active. Also a slight glow of the eyes illuminate in the dark at this point. With the second stage of the Ryuugan Doujutsu unleashed, it allows the user to see the elements of Lightning, Air, and Water up to one's viewing parameters. One's natural sight is also enhanced giving the capability of seeing 40m ahead of them. The eyes reaction time is increases by +1 tier when activated. The user sees the elements as three new, vibrant, and opaque colors that mesh perfectly with their normal vision, giving the user the ability to see the three elements without hindering their normal vision in the slightest. Of course normal vision can hinder this special sight, as the user cannot see through walls or other things as normal. This stage is acquired at Jounin/ B rank and a training thread of 3000 words.

Name: O-Dai Ryuugan (Honorable Dragon Eye)
Canon/Custom: Custom
Rank: "A"
Type:  supplementary
Element:
Suiton (Water)
Raiton (Lightning)
Futon  (Wind)
Range: 40m
Specialty: Must have the O-Dai Ryuugan  activated.
Duration: -15 charka per post
Cooldown:  1 post
Description:
The final stage of the Kazeraikou Doujutsu forces a temporary change of the user's eyes. The iris and pupil of the eye become one and change to a color decided at the first awakening depending on their mood. The color is like a cloud and swirls around the user's eye when looking around. Small lines of white will flash across the eyes like lightning bolts and continually do so as long as the eye is active. The glowing continues and on top allows for the eyes to slightly even light up in their respective color. With the Final stage of the Ryuugan Doujutsu unleashed, it allows the user to see the elements of Lightning, Air, and Water within one's viewing parameters. One's natural sight is also enhanced giving them the ability of seeing 80m ahead of them. The eyes reaction time is increases by +1 tier when activated. The user sees the elements as three new, vibrant, and opaque colors that mesh perfectly with their normal vision, giving the user the ability to see the three elements without hindering their normal vision in the slightest. Of course normal vision can hinder this special sight, as the user cannot see through walls or other things as normal. This Stage can only be acquired by: Achieving Jounin/A-Rank followed by a 6000 word training thread
O-Dai Ryuugan (Honorable Dragon Eye)

S rank Jutsu:



C rank Jutsu:



Last edited by forest33 on Tue Nov 11, 2014 2:52 pm; edited 15 times in total

2Kazeraikou Done Empty Re: Kazeraikou Done Mon Oct 27, 2014 8:10 pm

forest33

forest33


D-rank
Ready to be checked.

3Kazeraikou Done Empty Re: Kazeraikou Done Thu Nov 06, 2014 3:04 pm

Tame

Tame


D-rank
The Doujutsu itself seems fine. It just allows you to identify sources of each element, I suppose. (Granted, I think it would be cool to start with one element seen and 'grow' into the others, a sort of added bonus alongside the eye's evolution.) You should only be able to identify elements you yourself have.

Your KKG description seems to have been cut off.

There seems to be no drawback for this Doujutsu, however. Perhaps that they are somehow hindered by extreme amounts (water) or bursts (wind/lightning) of the elements they can detect with superiority?

Ryuugan (All Stages): I feel that using the zoom function needs to require chakra per post or per use, even if small.

For all jutsu, including Ryuugan, you need to use Saga's jutsu template.

4Kazeraikou Done Empty Re: Kazeraikou Done Tue Nov 11, 2014 12:21 pm

forest33

forest33


D-rank
BUMP

5Kazeraikou Done Empty Re: Kazeraikou Done Sun Nov 16, 2014 3:50 pm

forest33

forest33


D-rank
bump

6Kazeraikou Done Empty Re: Kazeraikou Done Mon Nov 17, 2014 12:51 am

Tame

Tame


D-rank
Sorry for the wait. u.u"

1. Drawback says 'cannot see out of natural line of sight' but the KKG Description gives you a wider range of vision. I may be misinterpreting this (as it might be saying you can see more things than the average human), but I initially took it as having a wider range degree-wise. Clarify what exactly the 'wider range' is, to avoid confusion in the future.

2. A passive, permanent +1 to Reaction Time needs more than one conditional drawback (even if that drawback is potent). Not being able to learn Genjutsu isn't a drawback; your character idea may very well not even need Genjutsu, and thus it may be a moot drawback. Add one minor, passive drawback to balance the +1 to Reaction Time, and you should be fine.

Odai Ryuugan's range needs to be fixed. The visual descriptions of the eyes make the jutsu a bit clunky; you can move this to KKG description with no problem.

Hurricane Striker: The radius is too large for being able to be formed that far away. If you are the 'eye' of the hurricane, then a larger radius would be allowed. However, third degree burns, 2-turn paralysis, and 'deep cuts' (which I'd like you to quantify in inches) is a bit too much damage for a jutsu with such a high range. Please tone down either the effects or the ranges; use the Jutsu Rules in the Guidelines section to get a better idea of what everything should be balanced as.

Dragon's Breath: Detail the type and amount of damage done by a certain element's use.

Ambush Lightning: You can only have one S or higher ranked jutsu as a clan jutsu.

Still, detail damage at each rank, and also how fast it goes at each rank.

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