For the past few nights, I could not sleep. Not on my own. Requesting sleeping pills from my doctor only brought on more questions, though I could not say. Not because asking about why I could not get any sleep dealt with classified information, but that I could not get myself to say the words. To hear myself say, 'My father is missing,' would be too much. It felt like that would make the situation too real and set in stone.

So for the times that even the sleeping pills could not put me to sleep, I trained. My days got in a much busier routine. During the night I ran laps along the wall of the village. The night guards ended up making it worth their while and cheering me on, keeping time. It only pushed me harder. During the days, when I should have been doing paperwork, I planted myself in the Sandy Arena.

It was a stupid arena with a stupid pun name, but I was there working until I dropped from exhaustion. I had three wooden posts standing at equal distances from each other. For me, they were targets, practice. And they suited me well. There were shavings littering the sand. Evidence left from where my bō staff had made contact with the posts. Each day they were whittled down more and more.

And after a week of training, there was still no word from my father or his squad. So again, I marched myself to the Sandy Arena and pulled out my bō staff. The more I beat down on those three wooden posts, the more I pushed outside of my head the situation with my father. Instead, what came to me during every strike of my staff were memories of my father.

Like the day of my eighteenth birthday. When he walked me to the Ninja Academy for the Entrance Ceremony. In my nervousness for being so old, I held his hand the whole way. He had not said a word, of course, because he made no acknowledgement to it. Yet, when it came for me to join the other students and I had to let go of his hand. There was, for just one small fraction of a second, a pulling or tugging feeling from his hand as he let me go.

That was one of the few things I held onto from him, as he never really showed his emotions to anyone. Being head of the clan, he had to be master of the Kekkei genkai and be the prime example of what we were capable of as a people. We all knew this so it was not expected to get any sort of reaction from him.

And now he was not here. A whole week had gone by since it had been assumed something went wrong. Something must have gone wrong. I could feel it in my gut, but my heart would not listen. I did not want to admit to myself that something could have happened.

I swung my staff out wide to my right, using only one hand now to let it strike at one wooden post to my right, then it immediately curled back, twirling in the air ahead of my spinning body as it now switched to my left hand and hit the wooden post to my left. Next, I jumped up, as if dodging an imagined attack from the wooden post in front of me and after one front flip I thrusted down to nail the top of the wooden post - or head - of the imagined attacker.

Landing on my feet, I almost immediately fell to the ground, my left leg collapsing down to its knee. I staggered, tired and out of breath. Sweat dripped down my forehead, rolling down the bridge of my nose. Several drops fell from my hair, chin, cheeks, arms, legs. I was a mess. How long had I been at this? My hair was hanging over my eyes so I couldn't see where the sun was in the sky. Brushing my hair back seemed like too much effort, so I stared at the ground as I panted and gaped, gathering my wits and my lungs before resuming the training.

The monotony of his days since he had arrived in Sunagakure no Sato had qickly begun to bore Bokuden. Sure, the village had its moments. There was the luster of a new and exotic place, a new and exotic woman, and of course his primary objective of infiltrating the Karisuma clan in the aid of Misoka, but it did not take long for that luster to fade. A warrior who was used to a certain degree of freedom could not help but feel confine by the thin line he found himself walking since entering the Village Hidden in the Sand. The Kazekage herself had assured Bokuden that as long as he was no threat to the village he would be free from persecution, and her leader of covert affairs had mirrored that assurance, but it was not foot soldiers or ANBU from which he needed to hide.

As far as Bokuden was concerned, as long as he had to continue with the little façade he was putting up for the representatives of the Karisuma clan, he was living in hiding. Who he was showing them was not who he was, and until the deed was done it would have to remain that way. But the thing that made Bokuden truly uneasy was the restlessness he felt when his mind wandered to thoughts of what would happen after they succeeded. Success was a virtual certainty, but there was no plan for what came after. This was it. His promise to Misoka was the last remaining tie he had to the person he used to be.

Often he would find himself wandering the village aimlessly during his free time, and this day was no different. Although he would have much preferred to make his little trips around the village at night, his other obligations had limited his open availability and so today it was under the bright and hard Sunagakure sun that he made his rounds. One thing he enjoyed on his trips through the village was people watching. It never ceased to amaze him how clueless and carefree people could be, either ignorant or unwilling to recognize the horror of the world they lived in simply by being born into a hidden village.

Not all people were so unfairly fortunate though and it was often the people with the most power who fell victim to the pains of the world most. This he could only assume was the case for the Kazekage as he watched her work herself into the ground, senselessly beating against a small group of posts in an unimpressive training area as if those posts had wronged her. He remained silent and simply observed as she vented all of her pain and frustration through brute force. He could have stopped her, told her that this was not the right way to go about things, but he knew he had no right. That was not the look of a person that was training intensely. That was the look of a person who was lost and struggling with themselves to find an answer that may not be attainable.

It was only after she finally fell to the ground, sapped of almost every last bit of strength she had, disheveled, and dripping with sweat that he finally leapt down from his position in the distance moving silently as to not crudely stomp into her training session as a brutish intruder. “There is such a thing as overtraining you know, lady Kazekage,” he stated, “But I suppose that doesn’t really apply here, does it? After all, that wasn’t you training. Not seriously at least.”

---

605

Panting, I slowed my breaths into deep ones.  The sudden loss and regaining of oxygen making my head dizzy.  My hands went to the ground to steady me as the world seemed to spin beneath me.  This wasn't good.  Hydration was key when training in Suna.  Every shinobi knew that and more importantly, I knew that.  Yet here I was, the Kazekage, being dizzy and exhausted in the heat of the desert village.

So exhausted was I when Bokuden walked up to me that I didn't even realize someone was there until he spoke up.  My heart felt like it was about to burst out of my chest from the scare, already beating fast enough to kill an eighty year old.  I flipped my head around and pointed out my bo staff by instinct.  When my hair spun out of the way and I got to see who it was that had spoken.  It was only Bokuden.  My hands lowered, the staff retracting in my hands.  I again focused on relaxing as Bokuden continued to speak.

"Heh," I half chuckled at his words.  He was right.  I was running myself ragged, but I wasn't training.  No, I was trying to keep my mind off things.  That was what I needed because thinking about things would only make the situation all the more real.  Training, or rather running myself ragged like Bokuden had pointed out, kept me away from my home and being close to my mother.  She had yet to be told the news, or really the lack of news, about father.  I didn't know how to break it to her.  We were both part of the head family and not supposed to show emotion, but how could I keep up the facade and tell my mother that father was missing and a whole week late from returning?

Catching my breath, I stood up and looked at Bokuden.  My hands having to fight my soggy hair sticking to my face as I tried to regain my composure before him.  "What brings you here?  Don't you have some business to attend to or some friend to visit?"

"I'd think someone of your stature would be busy with something more important than stumbling upon a tired Kazekage in the middle of the afternoon."  I looked over my shoulder, looking to see if I had left a water bottle or canteen or something to drink, but no dice.  My mouth was completely dry and nasty from sweat.  I had pushed too hard again.

Independent upon Bokuden's immediate retort, I decided it would be best to grab something to drink, maybe even eat.  Seeing him alone with nothing to do, it was my duty as Kazekage to act as host for the guest of my village.  "Well, if you don't have anything better to do, how about something to drink?  I, myself, am in dire need of nutrition."

Bokuden did not so much as flinch when Suzume pointed her bo staff in his direction in an aggressive stance. Such a reaction didn’t particularly surprise him if he had indeed snuck up on her while her mind was obviously being occupied by other thoughts. That was made to seem all the more likely judging by her reaction after she realized his identity, lowering her weapon and softening her stance. “Some business to attend to…” he repeated, unsure of how much information he could actually divulge to this woman, “Let’s just say that at the moment, my business here is in intermission until my friend can free up their schedule. Until then, I’m just kind of stuck alone in a village full of strangers.” That was enough for now. Bokuden was a natural skeptic, and his dealings with Misoka were particularly “need to know”. But still, Misoka seemed to trust the Kazekage and whether that meant she was already aware of what was going on or not, it meant that Bokuden should at least give her the benefit of the doubt.

“Apparently neither of us have anything better to be doing than standing here in the sun right now,” he joked, now intending to at least attempt to befriend the woman that Misoka seemed to trust, “I have time for a drink. It might be nice to finally get to visit a good bar or restaurant from a local rather than just a tourist trap.” In his mind Bokuden just hoped that this time he actually ended up getting a drink. The last time a Suna representative invited him out for a drink he ended up with an open wound, no drink, and Yui trying to throw him through a wall. Now that he thought about it, the last part wasn’t so bad, but he really would like to go out for once without sustaining an injury. He was supposed to be in Suna playing the wealthy heir to the Ryuzoji clan, flaunting his wealth and social status, not mysteriously showing up to places bandaged and bleeding.

He did wonder though what the kazekage thought of his presence in the village. If she truly had stopped sending surveillance details to follow him, she might not know about his meetings with representatives of the Karisuma estate under the guise of purchasing a potential wife. If Misoka had divulged the plan to her, he could only wonder what the leader of the village thought of what was essentially an attack on one of the village’s clans… not that their “business” was particularly beneficial. Either way, if one paid enough attention there was a clear difference between the Bokuden that she had met face to face so far and the mask he wore when dealing with the Karisuma Clan. For now however, he would take her up on that drink offer and hope all went well. “Lead the way, Lady Kazekage,” he prompted, awaiting for his latest tour guide of Suna to take him to their destination.

---

1114~

"Yes, let's change this village to be a little less filled with strangers for you." I said, making my way out of the training grounds.  I retracted my bo staff and hung it off a belt loop.  The bar and grill that I was leading Bokuden towards was relatively new to the village.  For me, it’s opening day was a gift from the heavens.

The sign that hung out over the street above its front entrance read: Guren’s Bar and Grill.  Here would be the best ale, beer, and all types of liquor anyone could ever want, slapped down next to a nice grilled sausage.  At least, that’s what I always ordered when I went there.  Striding through the open doors of the restaurant, I escorted Bokuden to the main bar and took up a vacant stool, allowing another one to my right be filled by him.

“Nice to see you again, Kazekage.”  Guren, the owner and master chef of all things sausage, greeted me as I sat down.  He was a nice old man, just getting past his middle years.  He had once told me after several beers that the real reason he had finally opened up shop was due to a mid-life crisis he had.  Boy, was I glad he did.

”Give me my usual, Guren.  Thanks,” I said.  He nodded and turned to head off, allowing me to break things down for Bokuden.  ”So here you can get almost any meat you can think of, and a nice cold lager to swallow it down.  Sure, it’s not the best thing to be drinking after a workout but it’s worked pretty well for me so far.”

I let myself laugh at my own joke, though it ended abruptly. My body was just too tired to talk so much, and I was forcing myself way too much.  The exhaustion was getting to me again.  Thankfully, sitting on the bar stool and using the counter as a nice resting place for my arms, I was able to maintain a comfortable appearance without looking as dead tired as I was.  Once I had gotten something to drink, I would be better, I told myself.

”Now, Bokuden… I understand you want to keep your business private.  But I have to ask you something.”  I took a moment to catch my breath.  Talking was so exhausting!  How had I not realized this until just now?  ”This business and how you mentioned you’ve ‘cut ties with the Cloud’, I believe you said…. none of this will cause Suna any troubles now will it?”

I was bringing up his business yet again.  Hopefully he would see that I was just being genuinely concerned and not too prying or nosy.  A Kage had to watch over the village, it was the main duty of the job and all I really cared about at the moment.  The way he always changed topics and hesitant to say anything about his business made me worry.  By appearances alone, it made himself look shady, yet the report that Yui had given me suggested he was not to be worried about.

Either way, talking about his business was much better than thinking of my own.  Whatever he would say would be welcomed with open arms by me.  Anything to keep my mind off of my father and the fact that I had yet to tell my mother or the rest of the clan for the matter was a welcoming sight.

“Guren’s Bar and Grill, huh?” Bokuden mused to himself as he read the sign over the building entrance, “I guess this is as good a place as any.” Upon entering the establishment it would not take long for Bokuden to realize that the kazekage was a regular customer here. Between the warm and casual greeting of the middle aged man behind the bar, her ordering her “usual”, and the almost jubilant way she spoke of the place it was clear that this place was likely a favorite of hers. He ran his hand over the laminated menu that sat on the bar in front of him, glancing over it briefly to see the long list of meats that the grill specialized in. There was probably a drinks section as well, but locating it was hardly necessary given the fact that he was sitting at the bar and could get a rundown of his options from the bartender himself.

Before he could begin looking through the menu in earnest however, the kazekage would change the topic of conversation almost immediately. He raised an eyebrow at the subject matter, having thought that they left the questions regarding his presence in Sunagakure behind when he was summoned to her office, but he wasn’t particularly surprised. He hadn’t really given her a straight answer and it was only natural that the leader of a village to seek to keep themselves privy to potential threats to the peace, which for all she knew he still was. Surprisingly thought she did not seek an explanation on the rather vague answers he had given her back at the office, but only some manner of assurance that his personal problems would not create danger for her village. It was a fair question and once again, if Misoka seemed to trust the kazekage then Bokuden owed it to her to at least try to do the same.

“I certainly hope not, but with the people that are after me you can never know for sure…” he said in a rater solemn tone, looking down straight at the bar counter as if distraught before turning back to face the kazekage with a laugh, “I’m just kidding. I wouldn’t have come here if I thought that my presence would bring danger to Sunagakure. I told you before in your office, didn’t I? I’m here to assist an old friend in need. I certainly wouldn’t be able to do that if I was leading hunter nin or mercenaries to their door, could I? Listen, if you want some kind of assurance I can’t give you anything but my word, but if it will put you any more at ease... should my presence in the village ever become an issue, just let me know and I’ll take my leave. While I am here though, consider me at your disposal. Whatever you need that I can be of assistance with. It’s the least I can do for the hospitality that I’ve been shown since arriving, lady kazekage.”

He smiled at the kazekage before sliding the menu that was on the counter between the two of them and placing a single finger on the menu. “Now, since you seem to be more than familiar with this place how about you help me choose what to order,” he suggested before turning down to read the menu and tracing down the list with his hand, “What would you recommend?”

---

1698~

I rapped my fingers upon the bar’s counter, listening to Bokuden.  At his first statement my fingers stopped and the excitement of being in Guren’s restaurant left me, then it all returned after he burst into laughter and highlighted his joke.  A long, deep exhaling breath came out of me as he reassured me there was nothing to worry about.  His offerings of what he would do if he indeed ever brought harm to the village further reassured me of the matter.  Like Yui had said, Bokuden was no threat to me or the village.

”No, no,” I shook my head at all of what he was saying.  He was truly an honorable man to go to such lengths to prove he meant no ill will to Suna. ”There’s no need for all that.  Forgive me for doubting your word earlier.  I just do not think I could handle anything else right now.”

I picked up a menu for myself to look at, perusing the contents to spot something Bokuden might enjoy.  There were several menu items.  The question here was if Bokuden was a burger man or not.  If so, he had quite the picking to do.  There was the Big Kahuna Burger, the Royal Burger, the Desert Delight Burger, and the Kazekage’s Burger (one of my personal favorites after Guren made a special burger assortment just in my honor).  If Bokuden wasn’t much of a burger guy, then there were sandwiches which were assorted by their own various meats: Turkey, Ham, Beef, Pork, etc.  Still, there was plenty of various sausages for him to try out as well, My favorite, of course, being the Blood Tongue sausage.  The Blood Tongue was a bright red looking sausage, burning red from all the tamales loaded into the meat.  It took several tries of eating it before her tongue was used to the heavy beating of the spiciness.

With a little mischievous thought, I decided on what she would suggest.  ”The Blood Tongue is the best sausage you can eat anywhere.  Also, if you don’t mind me ordering your drink, get Guren’s home brewed ale to wash it down with.  It’ll change the way you think about sausage.” I smiled reassuringly so as to not arouse suspicion.  A little joke on the man would not be harmful, I thought.  Besides, it will make for quite a laugh.  ”And don’t worry, this one is on me.”


2201 WC

The words “I just do not think I could handle anything else right now” echoed in Bokuden’s mind as the kazekage spoke to him. Years of training as a shinobi and later on a hunter nin had taught him the importance of reading people and it wouldn’t take an expert to deduce that there was something weighing on the mind of the kazekage. This wasn’t simply a manner of a kage concerned for her village, not with the way she was running herself into the ground when he found her and not with the subtle feeling of uneasiness that he seemed to be getting from her. Whatever it was that was bothering her, it had nothing to do with him, but his presence had become a convenient excuse to try and shift her mind elsewhere. The women of Suna seemed to live with heavy hearts for one reason or another, but Bokuden didn’t mind helping relieve those feelings. He knew all too well what it meant to feel trapped and helpless, as if the world was crashing down around you and you were helpless to change it. Just as he had done for Misoka and Yui before, he would now attempt to offer relief for the kazekage, even if only for a moment over a meal and drink.

“Absolutely not,” he replied, at first with no particular mention to what he was referencing, “I appreciate the offer, but I just don’t think I’d be able to bring myself to be out with a woman and have her pay. You invited me here and judging by how fond you seem to be of the place I can only assume it will be good. I can’t make you pay after how well you’ve treated me as a complete stranger. I’ve got the bill, I hope that doesn’t bother you too much.” He smiled her way once more to let her know his intentions were good before turning his gaze down to the Blood Tongue Sausage that she recommended. “Well, the name blood tongue doesn’t sound particularly appetizing, but I’ll trust you on this one lady kazekage,” he teased as he slid the menu further up the counter to let the bartender know he was done browsing, “Don’t let me down.” Only a moment later the bartender would come around to their location to take Bokuden’s order and only his since the kazekage was already getting her “usual”. He would simply repeat the order that she had recommended him and as the bartender took his leave to submit the order Bokuden would turn to face the kazekage once more. “Forgive me, but now it seems like I’m the one prying,” he said calmly as he looked her in her eyes with concern, “but what did you mean that you can’t handle anything else right now? Is there a problem?”

---

2190~