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1Tepes  Empty Tepes Tue Dec 24, 2013 6:16 pm

Salim 7

Salim 7


D-rank
Tepes  Vampireknighttattoo_zpscccaef8c


Clan: Tepes

Kekkei Genkai: Vampirism  (Pure Blood/Tainted Blood)
Elements: N/A

Specialization: Taijutsu| Genjutsu | Ninjutsu
(You don't have to use all the specs. You may choose which ones you want to use. Each Tepes specializes in different things.)

Location: Every where but Sunagakure.  

Clan History:
Our Past/Start:


Time Jump/Current:


Kekkei Genkai Description:
Vampirism is the broad term for the abilities members of this clan have.

Fangs&Claws:

Turning:
 


Drawbacks:

Sunlight:

Cursed Senju:

Inhuman:




Members:
There is a hierarchy in the Tepes family. There are pure bloods and tainted bloods. Pure bloods are people who directed straight from the Tepes blood, while tainted bloods are members who were turned by pure blood members. No matter what rank, pure bloods are always above tainted bloods.

The hierarchy in the Tepes Family and Available seats.

Heir of the throne/Leader: Reserved
*All members are highly respectful to the heir, regardless of title.

Kirigakure Sub-leader: Open
Konohagakure Sub-leader: Open
Iwagakure Sub-leader: Open
Kumogakure Sub-leader: Open
*All sub-leaders are equal and above pure blood/tainted blood members.

Sub-leaders job:


Pure Blood Members: Infinite Spots
*Pure blood members are above tainted blood.

Tainted Blood Members: Infinite Spots
*Bottom of the chain, members that are turned by pure bloods.

Kekkei Genkai Jutsu:

True Form:


Hypnotic Gaze:


Bloody Scent:

Bloody Waltz:



Last edited by Salim 7 on Mon Dec 30, 2013 2:12 pm; edited 7 times in total

2Tepes  Empty Re: Tepes Wed Dec 25, 2013 8:27 pm

Tame

Tame


D-rank
Well. As-is, this clan is denied.

First off, you have way too many abilities for the amount of drawbacks you have. Six potent abilities: smell-based sensory, effortless regeneration, ability to restore chakra, the fact your body is essentially a weapon, the ability to stun anyone for 3 posts by eye contact, and a transformation that increases stats and grants flight.

In exchange for one 'good' drawback in -1 to two stats in sunlight, one OK one in a weakness to Mokuton, and one that is not even a drawback in being socially hated.

Let's start with the two things you need to do.

1. Balance the number of passive abilities to drawbacks you have. You can do this by turning some of your passive abilities into jutsu. You could possibly do this with Shark Sense, Trance, and True Form. However, Passive Regeneration is the sole ability of another clan, so you can't have it at all. Regenerating chakra is not allowed except if you have Senjutsu and you meditate for the chakra, so you will also have to take that one out. Pretty much, you can keep the Fangs and Claws as a passive ability, just give depths of cutting/biting.

2. The abilities we're gonna turn into jutsu.....let's pre-emptively balance them.

Shark Sense: Either Ninjutsu, or a Taijutsu Chakra Flow ability. 3km is not an acceptable sensing range for most ranks; see the Jutsu Guidelines for what is recommended.

Trance: Either a stun Ninjutsu, or a Genjutsu. I would say the latter, due to you having to look in their eyes. 3 posts would most likely be a C-rank Genjutsu.

True Form: A +1 to one stat is allowed at A-rank. So, you're going to need to tone this down. A +1 to one stat and flight would probably be allowed at S-rank.


3. You mention 'turning' others. What does this entail? Is this strictly limited to NPCs? Can players undergo this (if so, I would recommend only letting it be willing)?

3Tepes  Empty Re: Tepes Thu Dec 26, 2013 10:42 pm

Salim 7

Salim 7


D-rank
Fixed. :]

4Tepes  Empty Re: Tepes Fri Dec 27, 2013 5:21 pm

Tame

Tame


D-rank
Teeth and Claws: Give cutting/piercing depth, in inches or centimeters, whichever you want. I feel this should improve with the clan member's rank. Tearing straight through flesh is a bet much for a D-rank ninja.

Sunlight: It's a good drawback, besides the fact that you can manipulate the roleplay into it not being daytime. You may want to give some stipulations on that. Night and day-based abilities and drawbacks tend to be hard to get passed, as they're able to be manipulated easily.

Cursed Senju: Should translate into taking more damage from Mokuton. Say, +1 or +2 ranks in damage. Whichever you think is best.

True Form: Nerf it. You're getting defense from A-rank jutsu, 2 +1s (speed and strength), and flight. Remove two of these, preferably the defense/ripping hands (you already have claws) and one of the +1s. Only at night is not a redeeming drawback for this power; see my writings on Sunlight. A-rank maintenance cost is -10 per post. The cooldown on any jutsu should be around 1.5 or 2x the duration.

Hypnotic Gaze: Blank mind and limp body....easily S-rank. I thought it was just a bodily paralyze before, but making them completely unable to do anything (which this does, I believe) is really powerful. I'm not sure how to balance this; I would say do something to lessen the mental effect. 'Absent from their own mind' is pretty much unable to think about anything, in my book....which essentially makes this jutsu invincible to Genjutsu Kai used by the target. Numbness to C-rank damage isn't a drawback. The Genjutsu should have a max range, even for eye contact.

Shark Sense: I don't see much wrong, but you may want to rename this to avoid getting confused with the Hoshigaki clan.

Bloody Waltz: Give a max piercing depth. C-rank jutsu can't have an innate death risk.

5Tepes  Empty Re: Tepes Fri Dec 27, 2013 10:39 pm

Salim 7

Salim 7


D-rank
Fixed.

6Tepes  Empty Re: Tepes Sun Dec 29, 2013 10:09 am

Tame

Tame


D-rank
Claws/Fangs: You didn't detail cutting depth, still. Genin/Chuunin would probably be around 1/2 to 3/4 inch max, go from there.

Turning: Requires one or two other mods' approval.

Inhuman: Might you want to have them take Pharmacophobia as a clan Negative Special Characteristic that can't be balanced by a positive?

True Form: You're still protecting yourself with your wings. Eliminate protection or raise the chakra cost of the technique.

Hypnotic Gaze: Detail type of eye contact. Is a mere glance enough, or does it have to be somewhat prolonged? Also detail how they can break out besides Kai, if any (does B-rank pain snap them out, for example, because they can actually feel it?)

All other jutsu are good as-is.

7Tepes  Empty Re: Tepes Mon Dec 30, 2013 2:13 pm

Salim 7

Salim 7


D-rank
Fixed.
Now awaiting check by one or two mods.

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