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1Tengoku Clan Empty Tengoku Clan Fri Oct 24, 2014 5:39 am

Katari Fantomusodo

Katari Fantomusodo


D-rank
Symbol: Tengoku Clan 1zzknb7


Clan: Tengoku

Kekkei Genkai: Artificial Yang Release

Elements: Katon; Raiton; Artificial Yang

Specialization: Bukijutsu (Kyujutsu); Ninjutsu

Location: Scattered

Clan History: Legend has it that there was once a man named Tendo Gokei who swore allegiance to no clan or nation. Nonetheless, he'd studied under ninja sages from all 5 nations, yet he could never find meaning. At age 24, he was visited by a spirit formed from light. This spirited prophesied, "Tomorrow you will be visited by person. This person will be wielding the weapon that Aether hath chosen for you. With this weapon, you and your offspring will learn the ways of the Aether. You will unlock the secrets to reaching perfect Trinity and to wield the Light of Aether. I will leave you with one necessary gift in order to unlock all of this. This gift will be given to all offspring of yours, but will be lost if a child is to perform the demonic arts. I will bestow upon you the Master's cloak."

Tendo woke up in the deserts next to a horse and a sleeping person in a dark hood. This person was obviously a tomb raider and a thief, given that the person was carrying a bag full of gold, coins, and precious jewels. Nonetheless, it was interesting that this person's only tools were a bow and a few arrows. A few minutes later, the thief woke up. Tendo quickly scrambled to grab the thief’s bow and arrows and aim it at the person.

“Sir, don’t move. What is your name and why did you bring me here!” , said Tendo in fear. The thief, after letting off a big yawn, stood upright despite his warning.

“Well that’s a nice way to treat a lady.” ,she said as she began to take off her hood. The thief had short sky-blue hair that matched her eyes. Her cheeks were pinched in as if they’d been slightly sewn together. She had a small, long nose and a small mouth.

“I go by the name Saki. Do me a favor and don’t try to shoot that bow at me. You’ll miss and I’ll laugh. I’m sure that the shinobi that you’ve trained under never taught you how to shoot a bow.” ,she said while fixing her hair. Tendo then slowly put the bow down.
“You’re the renowned Tendo Gokei correct?” ,Saki asked.

Shocked that Saki knew his name, Tendo said, “How do you know me?”

“All five villages are searching for you. They claim that you have stolen forbidden ninjutsu scrolls from all of the villages. They have a hefty reward out for finding you...dead or alive.”

“So I guess you’re about to turn me in for a crime I did not commit! From your collection of stolen goods, it is clear that you only care about money!”

“I’m not here to turn you in idiot. I would’ve killed you already if I was. And for your information, these goods were stolen from those who have gained riches by impoverishing, torturing, blackmailing, and even murdering others. I sell these goods and give the money to impoverished wandering ninja with no jobs.”

“Then why did you take me here?”

“To keep away those who will turn you in. Many desperate wandering and missing ninja have discovered your location, so I headed there on my horse so that I could get you before anyone else could.”

Tendo didn’t want to believe her, but he knew he had no choice.

“Fine then...I’ll go with you.”

Just then, a fire erupted in the distance.

“Hurry up and put this hood on!” ,Saki shouted as she handed Tendo a dark hood that looked similar to hers. Saki and Tendo quickly put on their hoods and Saki grabbed her bow and arrows. They then jumped onto the horse and fled. For six years, they traveled across the world. During those six years, Saki helped Tendo to master wielding the longbow.

After those six years, Tendo and Saki stopped in the forests to rest.

“You’re getting very proficient with your bow. You could win money with those skills.” ,Saki teased as she removed her hood

“Looks like you’re growing your hair out too long. It might stop fitting in your hood.” ,Tendo responded.

“This coming from you. You may not need to still wear a hood. Your beard covers your face well enough.” ,Saki snarled as she started to cut her hair with the edge of her arrow.

Tendo started to do the same and shave his beard with his arrow.

“How did you know that I was innocent before you came to save me?” ,Tendo asked curiously.

“I have a confession. I didn’t come to save you. I came to kill you and seek the reward, but when I saw you sleeping so peacefully, I knew that you weren’t guilty. A guilty man sleeps restlessly.” ,Saki stated.

“But why didn’t you just leave me there for someone else or just bring me in anyway. You would’ve still gotten the-”

Saki interrupted Tendo’s words with a long, passionate kiss.

“My conscious wouldn’t let me leave you. I couldn’t do that. I couldn’t abandon you. I still can’t even though you are more than capable of surviving on your own. What I’m trying to say is...I’ve fallen in love with you.” ,Saki said as she went in for another kiss. This time Tendo followed along.

“There is the culprit! Surround him and his accomplice!” shouted a voice nearby.

Saki quickly wielded her bow.

“I’ve crafted this bow for you for when you mastered kyujutsu. I feel like now is the time to give it to you.” ,Saki said as she handed Tendo a bow and a few arrows.

As the army closed in, Tendo and Saki began to shoot at the wave of ninja. As the army continued to shrink, one man stepped out from the shadows. He had black, long hair put into a single long braid and a fairly small nose. He extended his shadow using the trees and killed his entire army by making them snap their own necks.

"Pleased to meet your acquaintance. I am Yato Nara. I am the brains behind this entire plot. It was actually quite genius. Hire mercenaries to steal the forbidden scrolls for me and then use you as a scapegoat. You can't even stop me now. I'm the most powerful ninja alive. They would've never expected the thief to be Konoha's top general." ,the man said.

At this note, Tendo was enfuriated. Why would someone do such an evil thing. It is this point when Tendo unlocks the Aether Cloak.

He begins to battle Yato, telling Suki to stay back. Yato was slightly stronger and faster than Tendo, but his newly unlocked power made him nearly impossible to hit with any attack. Tendo let Yato wear himself out before finally landing a kick on Yato. He then began to rapidly attack him and quickly scooted backward. He then drew his bow to finish the job.

"By Aether law, I find you guilty of treason, massacre, and theft. Your sentence is...Annihalation! Heaven's Arrow! Trinity!" Tendo exclaimed. He then released all three of his arrows which were coated in bright light, or Artificial Yang chakra. Yato's body dissentigrated instantly upon contact.

Tendo and Suki had one son named Roku, who was the first born member of the Tengoku clan. He continued on the Tengoku clan with his 5 sons, one for each village and 1 daughter, who was a nomadic vigilante like her grandmother. The true center if the clan is still unknown to the outside world.

Kekkei Genkai Description: Artificial Yang Release: This kkg allows the manipulation of light itself. It is formed through extracting the light properties of fire and lightning and controlling it. Due to this method of forming chakra, only light formed by the user can be manipulated. Also due to this method, light formed by the user will appear green-yellow. Artificial Yang techniques also do not have the same vitalization properties as Natural Yang techniques. Artificial Yang is weak against Natural Yin and Yang, Katon, and Raiton and is strong against Fuuton, Suiton, and Doton.

*All Tengoku clan members are granted an Aether Trinity Bow (sealed), 20 arrows, and 5 Aether Trinity Bow summoning scrolls.
Aether Trinity Bow:
Aether Trinity Bow Summoning Scroll:
Arrows:

Drawbacks: -Due to the 2-1 transference rate, Artificial Yang release techiques cost double the amount of normal chakra to use.
-Members cannot use medical ninjutsu
-Members lose Artificial Yang Release if they are to specialize in genjutsu of kugutsu
-Members have a -1 to all physical techniques (as in punches, kicks, Taijutsu, and Bukijutsu  other than Kyujutsu) until Perfect Body(see Trinity) is reached.
-One cannot reach perfect spirit unless they are to take the SCs: Strong-willed an Foolhardy
-Cannot learn any elements other than those listed above
-Must take Hesitant(Specialization) which cannot be balanced
-Cannot join ANBU due to their lack of stealth capabilities since they glow when they use Artificial Yang Release and Aether Cloak.

Members: (Members of the clan can be updated here)

Kekkei Genkai Jutsu:
Aether Cloak:
Artificial Yang Formation:
Trinity:



Last edited by Katari Fantomusodo on Fri Dec 12, 2014 5:03 pm; edited 9 times in total

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2Tengoku Clan Empty Re: Tengoku Clan Mon Oct 27, 2014 2:20 pm

Katari Fantomusodo

Katari Fantomusodo


D-rank
Bump for completion

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3Tengoku Clan Empty Re: Tengoku Clan Wed Nov 05, 2014 10:27 pm

Tame

Tame


D-rank
Sorry for the wait on this. <3

This seems to be a limited form of Light Release, more focused on Light Arrows; however, it should be noted that you cannot have a Doujutsu and an Advanced Element in the same clan. (I can understand that both of these aspects on this clan are not to the power level that either alone would have in its own clan, but for the sake of being fair we only allow one of either.)

If you choose to keep the Release, you must detail what it is strong and weak against on the elemental wheel.

If you choose to keep the Doujutsu, I'm not quite sure. I would recommend you scrap this part, as it's more of a minor part of the clan's ability.

The jutsu are alright, except for Aether (mostly due to having both Doujutsu and Artificial Yang in there); in addition, halves of tiers aren't a thing. C-rank is the base for a +1 tier to any stat, also.

4Tengoku Clan Empty Re: Tengoku Clan Thu Nov 06, 2014 4:51 pm

Katari Fantomusodo

Katari Fantomusodo


D-rank
Bumpity Bump Bump

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5Tengoku Clan Empty Re: Tengoku Clan Thu Nov 06, 2014 9:52 pm

Tame

Tame


D-rank
Aether Cloak has a bit too much on it. D-rank, I would recommend you eliminate it; you can neither have flight (or at least anything beyond a hover) nor a +1 tier to anything at this rank.

For all other ranks, if you want flight you'll need another drawback. It doesn't balance if you just have your current ones (which are tailored to stat +1s only).

Heaven's Arrow, Trinity is largely okay; it has huge power in exchange for a relatively small and straight-shot attack, as well as some storyline/flavor restrictions. Some of those (namely Spirit and Soul) are kind of weird, but Body works well as another reason to have the jutsu be so immensely powerful

6Tengoku Clan Empty Re: Tengoku Clan Fri Nov 07, 2014 12:02 am

Katari Fantomusodo

Katari Fantomusodo


D-rank
Bump, but should I change Spirit and Soul?

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7Tengoku Clan Empty Re: Tengoku Clan Fri Nov 07, 2014 2:51 am

Tame

Tame


D-rank
No, it's quite fine. Perfect Body more than makes up for the other two (which are more flavor in my opinion, but the Soul one gives a nice mood for the clan).

I'll say outright that I now see flight + something else is a bit too much for any jutsu. u.u (sorry for not seeing it earlier).

A B-rank jutsu would suffice for flight, though you should also give how high you can fly, as well as how fast.

8Tengoku Clan Empty Re: Tengoku Clan Sun Nov 09, 2014 12:37 pm

Katari Fantomusodo

Katari Fantomusodo


D-rank
Took out flight completely since it wasn't very important. Bump.

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9Tengoku Clan Empty Re: Tengoku Clan Sun Nov 09, 2014 5:30 pm

Tame

Tame


D-rank
All Advanced Element clans must prohibit the learning of a fourth element.

Aether: This is not a Doujutsu (forgot to change it when you removed it, I think). Also, multiple times you state that Aether must be active to use Artificial Yang....so is Aether being active a prerequisite for the use of the Artificial Yang Formation technique?

I have no real problems after this.~

10Tengoku Clan Empty Re: Tengoku Clan Sun Nov 09, 2014 7:36 pm

Katari Fantomusodo

Katari Fantomusodo


D-rank
Aether is not a prerequisite, I just forgot to change it. Also, my clan does restrict the learning of a 4th element, as it limits the elements learned to Katon, Raiton, and Artificial Yang. I hope this is the final bump...

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11Tengoku Clan Empty Re: Tengoku Clan Thu Nov 13, 2014 12:39 pm

Tame

Tame


D-rank
Sorry for the wait >.<"

The tiniest thing here. The -1 to Tai and Buki, is this to the strength of basic strikes as well as jutsu? Clarify and I'll gladly 1/2 Approve.

12Tengoku Clan Empty Re: Tengoku Clan Tue Dec 02, 2014 3:58 pm

Katari Fantomusodo

Katari Fantomusodo


D-rank
Bump (Note my changes to Aether Trinity Bow)

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13Tengoku Clan Empty Re: Tengoku Clan Fri Dec 12, 2014 2:41 pm

Noriko

Noriko


D-rank
Aether Trinity Bow: Detail max range and firing rate for each form.

14Tengoku Clan Empty Re: Tengoku Clan Fri Dec 12, 2014 5:04 pm

Katari Fantomusodo

Katari Fantomusodo


D-rank
bump

http://beastlymit.weebly.com

15Tengoku Clan Empty Re: Tengoku Clan Sat Dec 13, 2014 11:25 am

Noriko

Noriko


D-rank
1/2 Approved!

16Tengoku Clan Empty Re: Tengoku Clan Fri Jan 02, 2015 8:55 pm

Katari Fantomusodo

Katari Fantomusodo


D-rank
bump for second half approval

http://beastlymit.weebly.com

17Tengoku Clan Empty Re: Tengoku Clan Mon Jan 12, 2015 4:44 pm

Katari Fantomusodo

Katari Fantomusodo


D-rank
Bumpity

http://beastlymit.weebly.com

18Tengoku Clan Empty Re: Tengoku Clan Thu Jan 15, 2015 7:09 pm

Bokuden

Bokuden


D-rank
Well, going to go ahead and have to say no to the free A-Rank items right off the bat.

Also, I'm unsure of what exactly you're trying to produce with this notion of artificial yang. Essentially all jutsu that aren't elemental by nature or explicitly Yin release, utilize Yang release. I'd like some clarification upfront as to how this differs.

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