Darkness was creeping in his vision. There was only blackness in his eyes as he was wondering where he was at the moment. Turning his head to the sides, he couldn't find anything that he could see. The only thing that was visible was himself. Instead of his shinobi attire, Sanosuke was only wearing black pants and a white t shirt on. Instead of his long black dreadlocks, he had his short silver hair that was cropped shortly from the base of his neck. If that was the case then that would mean that his eyes were no longer silver, but blue colored. He was back to the state of mind that he had originally before his senjutsu training. No longer was Sanosuke back to the state where he was back to before his training in senjutsu, but he was also defenseless. There was nothing going on around him. But why did he have to revert to this state of being, Sanosuke didn't know. Hell he had no idea of where he was currently. Everything around him was dark. That's when he remembered what had happened in the past before he somehow found himself in this place of darkness. The fight with Taku, saving the Karisuma woman from being captive by a man that wanted nothing more than to kill her. Panic took over his soul as he tried to find his group he was in before the attack.

"Don't be alarmed Sanosuke. I am here for you" a voice was heard behind him. Turning around to the source of the voice, he saw the face of the last person Sanosuke believed he would see. A woman with dirty blonde hair that was cut short to about shoulder length. Her bangs were longer than the rest of her hair to the point where it was all the way to her chest. The bangs were only to the sides of her hair and braided near the tips of it so that it made her look more like an angelic figure. She had silver porcelain skin and yellow, golden colored eyes that were slanted. It made her look less human with how beautiful she was. Shame. That was the only feeling that Sanosuke could feel when he was looking at the woman that Sanosuke thought he would never see again. What else could  he feel after what he had done. Trying to speak to the woman proved impossible every time Sanosuke looked at the face of the woman that brought these feelings about. "After all, you wanted nothing more than to see me again...do you not?" The way she spoke was like two harps humming in his ears. Sweet sounds of music was vibrating in his head as she spoke. A soft smile was on the woman's face. She wore a pure white sundress that hung gently and fitting on the woman's angelic body.

"...mom..." Sanosuke all could get out from his throat after much. Burns developed from his throat as he tried to speak out more to the woman. If it really was her, then there was so much he wanted to tell her. Not a single day went by when Sanosuke didn't reflect on what news he heard about his mother committing suicide. He was in Suna when it happened. When he thought he contained the strength he needed to speak again, the woman by the name of Kikyo was before him. His mother rose a hand to stroke Sanosuke's face gently. Shock was the only thing that stopped him from reacting to the suddent touch. It was such a loving touch that his mother was giving him. Any other child would love the touch of a mother that he was getting at the moment. To him, every time Sanosuke was felt up from his face by his mother only pain and guilt swept over his body.

Pain clenched his cheek as Sanosuke noticed that his mother was sinking her nails into her very son's cheeks. Scarlet droplets were coming down his body as Sanosuke looked in fear at his mother. In the brief moments of looking at his mother, all warmth and comfort that was on the mother's face was wiped clean. Instead it was that of the face of a cold woman. Her touch was no longer warm and deadly cold when she squeezed down on his cheeks. "How could you? How could you do what you've done to your very mother? YOU KILLED ME SANOSUKE!!!" Sanosuke's mother screeched as she began to strangle Sanosuke by the throat. This time her nails were sinking into his throat, drawing out more and more beads of blood. Every small amount of oxygen that he was trying to breath back into his lungs were escaping. Squirming under her grasp, Sanosuke tried to fight her off by she wouldn't let go. She kept on chanting that he was responsible for her death. It was all his fault. It was his fault, and only his.

"I'm sorry mom..please...I didn't mean it....I'm so sorry. Forgive me....!!" Sanosuke gagged as he was being choked to death by his very mother. The worst part was that there was nothing, nothing that he could do about it. All his strength and training was thrown out the window. Nobody was there to help him get his mother to stop killing him in this brutal fashion. He was alone to deal with his penance for the action that he committed....
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Immediately, Sanosuke's eyes opened to look around him. Sunlight struck his eyes and pierced his retinas. He woke up in a start and sat bolt right from his bed. Covering in cold sweat, Sanosuke was breathing heavily. His entire body was covered in sweat as he was heaving loudly. All Sanosuke needed was the time look around where he was around currently. He was in a hospital for some reason now. It was pure white everywhere; the sheets, the bed, the walls, everything was the same color. For a second he couldn't remember how he got here. That's when he remembered everything that occurred during his border patrol mission with the twin Suna shinobi. The fact that Sanosuke made it here to the hospital must mean that they made it to Kiri safely without any further difficulty. A flash of his nightmare played in his vision briefly. It made Sanosuke flinch at the thought of the dream he currently had. Sanosuke rose his left hand to squeeze the skin between his nose to clear his mind in a brief meditative stance. It was then that he realized that his other hand was clenching the right side of his bed sheets rather tightly. It was definitely a nightmare he was having. There was no doubt that he was speaking in his sleep. That's usually what happens when he has vivid nightmares like the one he just had. Sanosuke noticed that he his forehead was tightly bandaged up, as well as his abdomen. Instead of his shinobi outfit, Sansouke was wearing white clothing that the hospital made patients wear.

"Damn it all..." Sanosuke cursed under his breath. He was still being affected by the guilt of his actions. Even after all the specialize training he did to make himself grow out of said habit, the kumogakure jounin still couldn't shake off the action he committed against his family. It was all his fault, Sanosuke knew that but still. After all the specialized training he did to reach some sort of spiritual enlightenment, that in Pathilk's words "would make your awareness of the surrounding spiritual plains that surrounds us," Sanosuke was still being haunted by his past. Had he learned nothing these past 5 years of training?If only he wasn't so weak...

After calming himself down, Sanosuke let out a sigh and took in his surroundings this time in a more calm state of mind. His body was no longer shaking as his brief meditative stance was working at calming his nerves of the nightmare that he had previously had. A glint of bronze was what caught Sanosuke's eyes when he looked around. It belonged to the skirt of a woman that was close to her body, giving the woman more mobility in her steps rather than a poofy dress. His vision was cast downwards because his eyes were originally downed to the hand that was clenching his sheets. It came into his vision only because it was in his peripheral vision out of the corner of his eyes. Sanosuke brought his head up to see exactly whom had come in the room. Taking his hands away from his face, Sanosuke looked at the woman that was now in the room sitting right beside him. Honestly Sanosuke didn't expect to see the Karisuma woman that he had saved. After what she's been through no one can really judge her if she ran away from it all and quit being a shinobi. So what business did Misoka have with him? That's when Sanosuke remembered the words he told Misoka before he passed out. He meant every word he said, after all Sanosuke gained this power over the 5 years so that he can protect those whom can't defend themselves from the strong.

"Hey, how do you feel?" Misoka asked, smiling at Sanosuke as she asked the question to injured shinobi.

It was then that Sanosuke wondered exactly how long the woman was sitting beside his bed. Had she heard the words that Sanosuke was talking in his sleep that was regarding the vivid nightmare that he briefly awakened from? If so, then would she bring it up? Getting himself back in the groove of the conversation starter that Misoka had. What more could a woman in her position say; hey you're awesome from saving me from a bat shit crazy swordsman that kidnapping. Thanks for breaking nearly all your ribs for my freedom!' Shaking those thoughts away from his mind, Sanosuke decided to reply to the woman's comment. "Peachy...never realized how painful it was to have nearly every rib in my rib cage broken. If it wasn't for my clan's abilit-" Sanosuke began to say with a chuckle before remembering Taku's words at the last part of his sentence. They still hung high in his mind, they still cut through his confidence and made him silent just thinking about it. A flash from his recent nightmare silenced him briefly. The necklace that was around his neck shined briefly in the sunlight. It was what housed his chakra. Take that away, and he'd be helpless. Taking the necklace in his hands, Sanosuke put it back under his shirt sadly. Looking at the woman that was beside his bed, Sanosuke made eye contact with her.

"You know, you never did tell me your name. I personally don't believe in calling someone by their name just because you heard someone else use it." Sanosuke asked smiling softly. Adjusting his body so that he can look at the woman properly. He did mean what he said, it was something that his mother taught him. Saying that made his heart ache as he remembered what happened that fateful night. So he would simply cover up that pain with a mask of happiness that didn't hold a shred of sadness or sorrow.

It started off as a chuckle, but then it turned into a contained laughter. The laughing was making Sanosuke feel that much better about his crappy mood that he's been in since the nightmare he had recently awoken from. This girl sure did have some style. By start over, Misoka was making it seem as though they had never met before; despite what happened between the two of them. She was a complete stranger and yet Sanosuke fought tooth and nail for her freedom. Like or not, they were connected to each other because of that one large act of kindness. Sanosuke decided to play along with the woman's games of introduction. "I'm Sanosuke Flynt. It's nice to meet you too." Sanosuke greeted the woman with laughter. "Misoka huh? Well it's easier to call you by that than 'Karisuma' that is." The sound of his laughter was filling his hospital room with noise so that there would be no silence in the area they were in. With every second he was laughing, he was feeling better and better about himself. His laughter was making him not think about the nightmare that had plagued his mind. Everyone had their own way to cope with misfortune, and laughing was his way of doing so.

When Misoka said that she was going to Kumo, Sanosuke's eyebrow rose at that. Why on earth would she go to Kumo? But then again it wasn't his business to ponder. After all she had just gained freedom, she was free to go where she wanted to. But still it was really curious that out of all the places she would go, it would be Kumo his own native village. Sanosuke smiled at that; she gained her freedom because of him and was free to go where she wished. “And... Sanosuke,” she uttered in a low voice. “I’m sorry for the things Taku said to you.” At those words, Sanosuke looked down on the ground to avoid any eye contact with the woman. The smile that was once streaked on his face had dissolved to a fading memory when he thought about his mother. There was so much pain that was behind his eyes that no mask could bare it. He couldn't mask the pain that Taku inflicted on him on the sharp words that he sent his way. If Sanosuke could alter the end of their encounter, he would rather have his limbs lopped off than go through the intensified guilt he was going through. Sanosuke knew that it was showing on his face, the pain that he was going through and there was no way he could stop it. It flickered at his heart every time he tried to smother it out but Sanosuke believed that he could lesson the expression on his face so that it wouldn't make Misoka feel too uncomfortable with the grief that has ridden his body more than any wound Taku could inflict on him.

Silence filled the room as Sanosuke prepared himself to speak after what Misoka did. Why would she apologize for her captor? Again it was a question that Sanosuke had no answer for. With his gaze cast downwards at his hands, Sanosuke looked at them. "You know I gained this power so that I can protect those I cared about. And also those whom couldn't protect themselves from those who they were weak against." Sanosuke finally said, shattering the silence at his words. Why Sanosuke decided to tell the woman about his motivation of being shinobi now of all times, he didn't know yet again. If he had to take a guess, it was most likely because she actually was brave enough to apologize for her captor's venomous words. Looking at the window, Sanosuke let the rays of light shine at his face. The warmth of the sun was always something that calmed him down whenever he was restless or bothered him. It was like the sun was hugging him in protectively warm arms that shielded him from being cold and alone. He needed the strength of the sun's light to say what he was going to say next. The only person whom knew about this was his best friend Skye, and even his best friend only knew half of what happened. "It's ironic how nearly 20 years ago, these same powers that I said I was going to use to protect people were the same powers that I had used to kill my own father in cold blood."

It would be a shock for anyone to hear those words from anyone's mouth. Even though Sanosuke was no longer looking at Misoka, Sanosuke had no doubt that she would have some sort of reaction to what Sanosuke said. Right now he allowed the world around him to go dark as he was reliving his childhood before his very eyes. "I was from a village in the Lightning Country, whom hates all shinobi on religious reasons; it was the neighbor of Kumogakure. They believed that the usage of chakra was the art of Lucifer. My father and mother were leaders of this cult." Sanosuke said in a low voice. He could still remember his life that he lived with his father and mother when they were both alive. How happy they were together in the village, they had their own little heaven with just the 3 of them. Holding his necklace that housed his chakra from behind his shirt, Sanosuke clung to it tightly. It was a cross pendant that his mother was given by his father when he proposed to her. He still remembered the story Kikyo told him when he was just 4 years old. "When I was about 4 years old, my body was giving off a strong static discharge because of my raiton nature. I was so scared you know, the son of the village leader being able to use chakra? I would have been executed on the spot. I tried as best as I could to keep my secret but then, it came out. I killed my own father when he took me with him to protest against Kumogakure shinobi. It all happened so fast, the discharge was too much for me to contain. One second I was at my dad's side making him proud, and then everything went black."

Taking in a deep breath, Sanosuke couldn't stop himself. He didn't want to make himself sound like a pity case. But everything that had happened to him, there was no valve to turn off the rushing torrent of sorrow that Sanosuke was trying his hardest to hold in. And Taku's words were just more like a sickle being driven into his ribs and yanked out savagely. The jounin tried his best to keep himself composed, but it was failing. Sanosuke's mask of grief was being shown clearly on his face as he continued his story. "When I awoken, my mother was a hysterical mess. She lost her sanity and rounded up the towns people to have me lynched at the age of 5...her own son." Sanosuke said that last part with so much pain that it felt as though he was rammed in the chest with a volley of arrows. "I would have died that night if it wasn't for Kumo shinobi doing patrol in that area. I was taken from custody of my mother and lived with a shinobi until I was old enough to move out."

The visions that were in his eyes were fading away as he noticed that he was back in the present. Once again he was in the Kiri hospital with Misoka in the room. If the woman had walked out on the story of Sanosuke's past, then he really couldn't blame her; this story was harsh and not for those with a faint heart. It was then that he noticed how tightly he was holding onto his mother's cross. His fingers was shaking as they ensnared itself around the pendent not wanted to let glow. A few droplets of blood were shed as he held it in his hands. "It wasn't until a year ago I found out that my mother killed herself. With her family gone, she had lost the will to live. I wanted to go to the village to pay my respects but, I'm banished from my birth village." Sanosuke said concluding his past with Misoka. Looking at Misoka once more he smiled sadly trying to lighten the mood. His eyes said different. The silver orbs, that Sanosuke called eyes, was riddled with pain and sorrow that showed any whom looked at them could see how truly damaged his soul was, also the miracle that he wasn't broken yet because of it.

"I guess that is my penance for my actions I committed against my own family. I use the power that I used to send my family to an early grave, to help others. Poetic justice at its finest wouldn't you say, Misoka?"

She hadn’t expected an answer from him, but as he began to speak, she couldn’t leave anymore, either.
Incredulousness formed in her features, tugged at her lips, planted itself into her mind. Why was he telling her all of this? Why would he reveal personal things to her? More a stranger than anything else, a girl who had almost caused his death?
She wanted to make him stop. Silence him. Remind him who the person was sitting here.
Before she could open her mouth, however, Sanosuke went on in that gloomy tone,"It's ironic how nearly 20 years ago, these same powers that I said I was going to use to protect people were the same powers that I had used to kill my own father in cold blood."
His words struck her like lightning. Part of her still wished to cover her ears and shut out secrets he must have been insane to tell her in the first place. Perhaps the painkillers clouded his mind. Or he honestly believed he had found a friend in her. Which was terrible. Absolutely terrible.
Because Misoka couldn’t do the same. She couldn’t listen to his story and feel encouraged to spill her own. How her mother had died, the traumatic years afterwards, the chase, the capture, the plans of her clan.
And then there was another emotion seething in her stomach. Something like anger melted together with her disbelief. Sanosuke had killed his father? Misoka was wary enough to not have labeled him as a man of honour right off the bat, but… the way he’d protected his comrades and her…
She swallowed and averted her eyes, knowing that the indifference she had wrapped herself in before was impossible to sustain. Suddenly, the hospital room vanished when an abundance of images took shape in her head whilst listening to Sanosuke’s speech.
A small village. The art of Lucifer. A little boy, whose appearance seemed hard to picture – probably no dreadlocks at that time, though. Chakra which could kill people.

The words died down and the man’s grief-stricken face returned. Misoka stared back at him, wondering whether he would go on. Whether he had finally decided that nothing he said was meant for someone like her to hear.
He surprised her a second time by taking a deep breath and continuing.
His mother had started hating him for what he’d done to her husband. And then, eventually… she had killed herself.
"I guess that is my penance for my actions I committed against my own family. I use the power that I used to send my family to an early grave, to help others. Poetic justice at its finest wouldn't you say, Misoka?"
No. God, no. Why did he have to ask her so directly? What could she possibly reply? She wasn’t good at this, at wiping sorrow off others’ faces. Her lips parted, then closed again.
Silently, Misoka looked down, catching glimpses of her shiny, blonde hair. If only she had inherited her mother’s wisdom as well, and the ability to always find the right words.
“I… uh…”
Tension engulfed her body. After a long pause, she finally let her gaze travel up to the man’s features, and took his bandaged hand on impulse.
“It must have been hard on you,” she whispered. “I.. I know, my opinion means nothing, but…”
She squeezed his hand gently and went on so the words wouldn’t slip from her grasp.
“…but from what you’ve told me, I believe it was an accident. You were only four years old, you didn’t know what you were doing. Of course this justification doesn’t bring your father back to life. Yet, your mother was wrong for putting the whole blame on you. How could she… try to kill her own son, a little child? And… and well, your birth village isn’t really the brightest bulb in the box. When there’s war, they get protected by some oh-so-evil shinobi, too. Um…”
Bullshit. I’m spilling such bullshit! I’m pretty much insulting his family and the place he was born in… how can I even hope this could console him?
Yeah… Misoka bit her lip. She should better stop talking now. Except for… one more sentence? A nice finish?
“What I’m trying to say is: I think you’re on the right track. Sometimes it’s necessary to leave the past behind, so new hope can grow.”
She patted his hand with a faint smile before withdrawing it and standing up once more. Her pathetic attempt to cheer him up had probably failed miserably. No wonder after all that nonsense out of her mouth. Damn… she knew she wasn’t good at this.
Fortunately, she would only wait for Sanosuke’s response and then leave soon anyway.
And fortunately, the man was injured, so he couldn't tear her to pieces if what she'd said irritated him.
Well… Embarrassing herself one last time, check.


(sorry for the late reply Dx)

There were only two ways for someone to react to what Sanosuke had revealed to Misoka; the first is to show some remorse and pity towards the shinobi, the other was to be indifferent. Misoka chose the first option and was showing pity towards Sanosuke. That's when it just hit him that he had told Misoka his past, a complete stranger. Why would he do such a thing? Sanosuke knew the answer to that very well. Even though he had Navi, his partner whom knew everything about him and the incident of his past, there was just so much a tiny ball of light could do for a human being. Confiding this to someone felt right. This whole situation with Taku and his mother was enough to have him unload everything that has been on his conscious related to his mother and his past; unfortunate for Misoka that she was the closest person to Sanosuke at the moment. Just looking at her, she looked so unsure of herself; like every word she tried to form in her mouth would somehow backfire and make him be upset. Honestly it was amusing, Sanosuke smiled at Misoka. This time he was feeling a bit better than he felt originally. The reasons for him to not feel guilty were the same reasons he mentally chanted to himself so that he can go on living for almost 20 years. It meant little to him when he said it to himself, but for someone else to say the same thing was rejuvenating.

It was about time to change the subject. Getting himself together, Sanosuke looked at Misoka's hand. "Geez never thought that you would have a sweet spot." Sanosuke jokingly said as he laughed out loud. No doubt having the woman flustered and angry with Sanosuke at the comment he made. Placing his hand on top of the kunoichi's hand, Sanosuke looked into her eyes. "Thanks though. It really means a lot to me." There was no way that he could be completely healed by the damages that his past did to his mind, but Misoka's words did inspire him into action. He wouldn't tell the woman this; hell she heard enough coming from him and frankly Snaosuke hated this feeling of weakness. Him being in bandages before the person he had just saved filled him with pride at the fact he completed his mission; but at the same time he felt naked, that despite the completion he was still beaten bloody. Based on what Taku said, there was more to it than just playing mind games with him. There was something much more, and he intended to find out what was really going on in Kumo.

Speaking of Kumo, it made Sanosuke think of something to say. Sweat was being developed under his palms as Sanosuke realized how long Misoka and him had their hands into each other. Quickly pulling them off, Sanosuke went on to what he had to say to the woman. "I'm not going to ask you what you're going to do at Kumo. But you promise me one thing you hear?" Sanosuke began to say. Grief was now wiped clean from his face. The once empty and defeated look in his eyes were no longer existent, there were now fires of ambition in them that were there before. He was back to his old stuff. "Don't do the lone wolf act. It's overrated and gets you killed every time. You run into trouble, just ask for my help. Got it?"

A wave of relief washed over her when a smile spread across Sanosuke’s face. So she hadn’t offended him? Or at least he didn’t show it. Either way, Misoka couldn’t help but return his warm gesture, giving him a reassuring nod as well. For a few moments, neither of them said anything, almost leading her to believe that this was a good time to leave.
Then Sanosuke opened his mouth. “Geez, never thought that you would have a sweet spot.”
She had expected to hear something about his mother, father, village – whatever, something that was actually related to their previous conversation. Thus, it took her a second to process his words before she felt heat rise to her cheeks. Her eyes shot to their hands fleetingly. That…!
“Ha, I could say the same about you!” she eventually snapped back, flustered and even more flustered when she realized this was probably the effect he had tried to achieve with his teasing.
Oh well, she really had to work on that… she was still as easily embarrassed as her 15-year-old self.
I guess some things never change.
“Thanks, though. It really means a lot to me.”
At first, this only caused her to blink in surprise, not exactly understanding why her sloppy words or her opinion altogether would be important to him in any way. But then she told herself that not everyone and not every shinobi was so distrustful as her.
She shook her head with a faint smile. “Don’t mention it.”
Throwing a glance at her hung up cloak next, Misoka knew it was high time to leave now. To get to the ferry or at least find a place to stay the night.
The moment she was about to go, however, Sanosuke’s voice pulled her back one more time.

"I'm not going to ask you what you're going to do at Kumo. But you promise me one thing you hear?"
Promise? She looked at him, bewildered.
"Don't do the lone wolf act. It's overrated and gets you killed every time. You run into trouble, just ask for my help. Got it?"
Of course she knew he meant well, but this couldn’t prevent her from feeling slightly offended. “Gets you killed every time”? Well, thank you very much. Exactly what she’d wanted to hear: That she was too weak anyway to survive on her own. That she needed a knight in shining armour to protect her from all those bad, bad people in the world. Why didn’t he recommend himself for that job? Oh, right, he pretty much had just done so.
“Do you mean to imply I can’t take care of myself?” Misoka exclaimed defiantly, albeit in a teasing undertone, folding her arms in front of her chest. “Because if you do, you’re wrong. I am perfectly fine on my own… umm, most of the time.” Of course she remembered how she had even met Sanosuke in the first place and knew that she was the one being in the wrong, for which her burning cheeks only served as confirmation.
And then, realizing the ridiculousness of the situation, Misoka let out a soft chuckle as if to reveal that she hadn’t been completely serious.

With one last nod towards the man, she turned around and went to get her cloak.
But when she was ready to go and reached for the doorknob, she paused. “Thank you. I do owe you a favour, don’t I?”
Not directly saying that she was heeding his advice although she would. And no goodbye. Maybe… they would really see each other again.
Misoka left the room and closed the door behind her quietly.


(Exit Thread)