Name: Kuroi ookami
Rank: D
Primary Use: Offensive
Description:

Kuroi Ookami:

Kuroi ookami is in all manner crafted to appear as a wolf, although the head more resembles a german shepherd by some accounts. The front of the puppet has a medium level of plating while the the underside behind the torso isn't as well defended for it is geared towards full frontal assaults. Reason for the back underside being open is for easier access for internal repairs. The armor is a combination of stucco and iron plates beneath the head, chest, both front and back shoulder blades, the back itself and the tail while the neck is full iron plating for full maneuverability.
Devices: It’s jaws are made out of 6 shuriken 1 set on the bottom jaw and 2 sets on the top jaw, when activated it acts like a multi-toothed saw capable of causing severe bodily damage or breaking weapons given enough pressure on the user’s behalf, this also means the jaw mechanisms can be heavily damaged itself if used on a weapon. From the mouth a total of 2 wires made of basic ninja wire that can be fired to help draw victims into reach of the jaws, though, characters capable of lifting over 100 pounds can counteract the wires retraction and even damage this function.
Weapons:
Name: D
Type Of Weapon: Puppet.
Rank: D
Elemental Alignment: /
Ability/Function: /
Close/Long Range: Close-medium range.
Appearance: The shuriken inside the puppet’s mouth section of the head appear as saw styled teeth, each set is on either side of the mouth leaving the cables unaffected unless the head is forcefully turned by an opponent(as stated above)or by will of the user.
History: Around the age of 12 Kaze had been taken on a small vacation to the land of fire with his mother, during their stay he had wandered off as all children his age do. He heard his mother calling him but paid no heed to her, the naive child. Unbeknownst to him upon exiting a thick bush he had step on the tail of a wolf. Before he knew it the wolf was atop him, trying to push the beast away a single paw swiped at him trying for better footing on the boy, clawing into the skin over his eye, it had not punctured pass the eyelid but would leave quite the scar. The beast was slowly winning before the wolf scurried away in pain before flipping over himself to scurry away, looking up he saw one of the Konoha-nin was blowing a slim whistle, a dog whistle to be more exact, this particular shinobi had red markings on his face. Since that day he had been inspired to create a puppet that could match that very ferocity.

Er, what? How is the type of weapon Shuriken? Wouldn't it be Puppet? Elaborate on the wires; is it just basic ninja wire; or something stronger? How many 'teeth' does the puppet have?

First time making a puppet anywhere sorry it was a tad bit confusing.

Fixed.

No worries. We all have trouble the first time with puppets. xD

of 6 shuriken 1 pair on the bottom jaw and 2 pairs on the top jaw

Okay, my math is terribad, but this doesn't add up. Pair = 2. I think you want set, which can be any number. I know it's a bit nitpickish, but well, OCD. xD

Give a definite maximum range please. I believe there is a maximum length dependent on ranking for the length of the chakra strings. List that.

Write out the appearance properly please. Just providing an image isn't enough. Also, I just noticed you misspelled Ookami.

No worries at all over being nit picky, if something isn't right even a stack of books I HAVE to straighten them up. Little bit of that OCD myself.

I'll have to look over the puppetry guidelines for range.

And I'll check around for the proper spelling, or is it that it's a second word being capitalized?

Name: Kuroi Ookmai

The letters are out of order is all. Wolf is indeed spelled ookami, unless you have access to the properly formatted letter.

I looked around an wolf in Japanese is pronounced "okami" but spelled "ookami" bit of a confusing language, but damn do I love it.

Oh and, fixed.

It's the romaji is all. You use accented letters to give the proper effects.

Expand on the armor; now that you mention it. I would prefer more of a history as well.

Added better description for armor and a history behind it.

Fixed.

Still misspelling Ookami in the name. xD

The history feels rushed; and needs a grammar check. Fix the grammar issues and it's passable.

I finally found the spelling mistake and added a few words here and there in the history to make it seem not so rushed hopefully.

Fixed.

The grammar is still off; you're missing a lot of punctuation. The history feels wrong because it's off balance. You're trying to cram too much into to small a paragraph. Trim the pork, as it where; and just put in the important bits.

Well you can blame my teachers for the lack of punctuation's, f****** never bothered to pay enough attention. I'll do what I can but may not be till later.

No worries; I agree with the sentiment.

Not sure how it will be viewed now, but hopefully better then last time.

Fixed...I hope...

Approved. Price: 180 ryo. Let someone know when you're ready to purchase.

-Exuberant glee face to the maximum of 1000X of the regular percentage-

Something I may have to point out that may issue me this puppet for free, not completely sure but here is my char's Clan page. I suggest reading the Kekkei Genkai section and tell me what you think. Totally cool with whatever your decision may be on this: https://narutorpgsaga.variousforum.com/t88-chikamatsu.

This is true, go ahead and put this in your Locker; it's already been approved.