Spoiler:

Joseph sat hunched over on the park bench which had been designated as the mission meeting point by his superiors. He had previously been in the office complaining about the missions that he been getting assigned, claiming they were far too easy for his skill level and that he was ready to take a step up. The village elders had heard him out, and while they had seemed to be somewhat frustrated that he kept on complaining, there seemed to be a sense of agreement that it was time for him to jump up to something that required just a little bit of skill, as opposed to the D rank missions he had been doing; the only requirements for such was having a functioning brain. Whilst Joe had been granted permission to take on a C rank mission, rules were rules, and as such he had been assigned a genin partner to undertake this mission with. The purported danger of such mission - a group of petty gangbangers - was seen as too much for a single genin to take on alone. Initially, the plan was to send a chuunin along with Joe. He had seen this as an insult, thinking that the chuunin would do all the work while he sat back and watched as an observer. Again, Joe had whittled down the elders patience, and they agreed to assign him another genin as his partner. Joe would have preferred to undertake this mission solo, as there would be more valuable experience to gain, however he was willing to accept a genin partner.

Joe twiddled his thumbs whilst he lounged on the rendezvous bench. He knew that he had showed up early to the meeting point, about 45 minutes early, but it was his belief that if you are exactly on time to something, you may as well be late. There was still 25 minutes until the arranged meeting time, but Joe was eager and ready to get going. Finally some potential combat experience with actual bad guys. He had been waiting for this for a very long time. A chance to put his life of training to the test. Growing slightly restless, Joe got off of the bench and began to pace up and down the road, impatiently waiting for his partner. He wondered what type of man would be sent to accompany him on such a mission. The village of Iwagakure produced the finest and toughest men on the whole continent, and the genin he was meeting today could be a valuable friend and ally for the future. Joe wondered what he should say to the man when they met. He didnt want to come on too strong as he often did, but he wanted to make a good impression. With his burning desire to become as strong as possible, came the burning desire for his fellow genin to get just as strong with him. Iwagakure was the most beautiful village in the world, and Joe knew that he would need to get strong in order to protect the village from those who sought to do harm to it. He continued to pace rapidly up and down, waiting for who he had decided already would be one of his closest friends, despite never meeting the guy.

Spoiler:

Isei had been a very busy boy these past view days, getting involved in all sorts of tomfoolery and missions. It seemed like there was a lot to do in the village now that he had stopped going to the academy, and his solitary lifestyle wasn’t really going to cut it anymore. He was going to have to go out and socialize with people, something he was somewhat apprehensive about given his lack of experience. It was a weird juxtaposition to his somewhat arrogant and confident beliefs about himself but people are often contradictory and complicated. Having been told that he was going to team up with some random genin to beat up some gang bangers, Isei was excited, as combat was something he always enjoyed. Missions like these were a bit more dangerous than the norm, and that made them all the more worthwhile to Isei since they could allow him to grow stronger in a somewhat threatening but also safe environment. After eating a nice balanced breakfast  Isei left his home wearing something akin to a japanese school uniform that was black in color, with his trademark horrible bowl cut atop his head, bouncing as he walked around the village. He wasn’t the type to be extra early for a mission so he decided that he would calculate how long it would take to get to the meetup spot and leave at a time that allowed him to get there within a few minutes of when he was supposed to.

He was somewhat curious about the person he was going to be meeting up with, as he didn’t know what sort of personality they might have. He was pretty confident in his own combat prowess but this inborn arrogance left him prone to looking down on others he felt didn’t understand what it meant to be strong. If anything he was prepared to leave the other genin to their own devices if they weren’t able to pull their own weight. Regardless of who they were, Isei felt like he should at least make an effort to be a bit friendlier today, even if he wasn’t going to have their back should things get bad. After walking around for a few minutes he made his way to the designated meeting point and noticed an older looking genin pacing around as though he was waiting for something. Isei was sure he wasn’t late of course, but he couldn’t help but be worried that he had somehow caused a problem through his arrival time. As the man’s back was turned to him when Isei arrived, he silently made his way towards him, walking slightly faster than him to catch up, and after arriving about a meter away from the man said, “Hey senpai, I hope I didn’t make you wait too long. Let’s go beat up some thugs. Gang Gang.” The expression at the end of his sentence was something he had heard from some random kids running by one day, so Isei just assumed it was some cool catchphrase used when trying to get to know people better.

518 wc

The day wasn't meant to be silent and the time was passing on, regardless of what convictions stuck with the characters of the world. Mugen would awaken on such a dreaded day, not really wanting to do another mission, as he was hoping for the day off, but picked one up to get some extra money in his pocket to buy his Mum a coffee mug. Ninjas drink coffee, right? Mugen wasn't all that excited about the mission that was to come, but figured that it would be a good way to lend a helping hand to the village. Beating up those meanies that did gang banging things. Mugen figured that it were probably illegal immigrants doing a lot of the crimes and was looking forward to deporting them.

He would make his way to the position he was called to be at, at the time of day he was told. In antecedence he would have done his usual morning routine to get ready for the mission. He'd be wearing a black t-shirt and black shorts. Wearing some neato ninja sandals that didn't do a thing to obstruct his steps because he was so used to walking in them. In due time he would make it to the scene, but the others had already made it to the required point much earlier than he had. Mugen was sure that he was right on time, but under context it appeared that he was late. It didn’t matter, and he’d shrug while walking towards the two. Recognizing one, specifically, as his sparring buddy and newfound friend, Isei.

There was another face that Mugen felt like he should remember, but instead he just kept staring at him while walking towards the general grouping area of the two. Mugen didn’t really wanna do much for this mission. He was tired from a longs week of work and doing a lot of missions and having lots of encounters, but he wanted to prove to his parents that he could become a powerful ninja, despite being so old.

He would make his way to the two while they were doing god-knows what, and bow to both of them. A nice, long, awkward, honorable bow, that if they disturbed, then they’re dicks. He was straighten himself out and attempt to stall for another hundred words or so because he really needed the word-count.

”Hey, hi, how ya’ guys doin’? How ya’ doing, Isei? You gonna catch some of those sweet acorns you love so much? Hah ha HAH. He’d ramble on. Hoping to squeeze out what little left of the conversation he could. Getting a couple extra sentences out of the paragraph. Mugen wasn’t so sure of anything anymore. Too many things going on at the same time in liquid time it’s hard to figure out what comes first or second. The young adult just hoped that someone could tip the direction of the village with a good lead on where to get some criminal immigrants.

As Joe was pacing up and down like some kind of homicidal maniac, out of the corner of eye he saw a slightly younger boy waddling over to him, walking as if he had just taken a number 2 that left an uncomfortable burn in his downstairs mouth. The boy seemed to be walking in somewhat of a hurry, and using his demi god tier ninja intuition, Joe assumed that this would be the partner that he was assigned for his mission. He began to slow down the speed of his pacing, as to give the boy time to catch up to him. Joe didn't want to stop completely as he thought this would seem a little bit weird and didn't want to make his partner think that he was squaring up to him or something like that. The boy briskly arrived about a meter away from Joe and began to talk. The tone of his voice was somewhat meek, but the way in which he spoke was very assured and confident. Joe liked that. What Joe didn't like was the fact that he referred to him as 'senpai'. Joe had nothing against the LBGT community but calling another man senpai was a little bit shifty to him. What Joe loved was the phrase that his partner had used at the end of his sentence. "Gang gang". He didn't exactly no why, but those two simple words when put together in the way they were evoked something within Joe that he didn't know how to control.

Joe felt his body moving on its own. He stopped abruptly in front of his partner to be. His head slowly swiveled around to look at him, like something out of a horror movie. His body followed. He looked at the boy with wide, manic eyes, and a smile that you would only see in the darkest mental asylums. Joe began beating his chest, very slowly like a war drum. He spoke, quietly at first, getting louder and louder as the words came out. His chest beating grew faster and harder as the words got louder.

"I........wa..........GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANG!!!!".

He had meant to scream gang with a manly war cry, but the force he had tried to scream it with meant that it came out as a shrill and piercing screech. As he screeched gang, the chest beating was pretty much at the speed of light, and he could feel that his chest would definitely be bruised tomorrow. He began to jump up and down while he beat his chest, going into a frenzy of passion for his beloved Iwa. As he was doing this, another older boy approached. He walked straight up to Joe and his partner, seemingly not at all fazed by the frenzy that Joe had entered. Joe watched as he lowered himself to a bow. Joe was unable to help himself when he saw this. He placed his hands on the older boys shoulders and leapfrogged over him. Once he landed behind the boy, Joe open hand slapped him on his buttocks with perhaps a little bit too much force and grabbed his shoulders again, shaking him while he spoke. "IWA GANG. GANG GANG. WHOLE LOTTA ROCK SHIT". Suddenly Joe snapped out of the frenzy and went back to normal. Again he spoke. "Aight fellas lets go get some baddies".After speaking he simply turned around and walked in the direction that the baddies were supposed to be at.

Isei didn’t know what to expect when he decided to speak with his mission partner, but life had a way of throwing curveballs at him. Through some inexplicable means related to destiny or perhaps coincidental happenstance, his first friend Mugen happened to show up, apparently being the third member on their little mission to beat up goons. This felt like some form of weird deja vu, but Isei couldn’t really put his finger on why that was. Maybe this sort of meetup had happened in another timeline or something. He didn’t dwell on this thought for too long, as Mugen made his weird as fuck introduction by bowing so deeply his head almost touched the floor, simultaneously walking towards them as he bowed, like he was some sort of being of pure toonforce. It was impressive to Isei to be honest, as he couldn’t imagine what sort of core strength it took to be able to maintain such a position, especially moving like the man was. Mugen’s introduction was quick but didn’t seem to acknowledge the the third person that would be going on the mission with them. Isei wanted to interject and learn a bit of information before they made their way to the gang hideout, but his attempts were halted before they could even begin, given his new found pal’s crazy outburst, reminiscent of some sort of muscular man on some alternate universe reality tv show.

It was apparent to Isei that the man really enjoyed the term ‘gang’ and that he was dedicated to making sure everyone in existence was aware of this. Isei’s worries about not being able to interact in a normal manner with these two was shattered, as Joe’s wild leapfrog and no homo ass slap made quick work of any lingering lack of connection between the three. Isei’s inexperience with social interaction made this whole exchange quite jarring, but he made sure not to show it on his face as he followed Joe, still not knowing his name. Assuming that Mugen was following along, and totally not going out of his way to make this encounter last longer than it needs to because excess shit isn’t worth it for missions, Isei and the rest of the goonsquad would make their way to the local gang hideout where there were a bunch of dilapidated housing units. This was some sort of ghetto on the outskirts of Iwagakure where all sorts of miscreants gathered to commit petty crimes that definitely deserved massive amounts of injuries and such. Just walking around would yield results as it only took a few minutes of entering the ghetto to notice a couple of teenagers sitting around huffing a brown paper bag of some sort. The bag was stained a dark black color at the bottom, and Isei could almost smell the putrid scent from here. He didn’t know what was in the bag but he assumed it was some illegal form of ninja drug and that the teenagers had to be brought to justice. He decided to wait to see if his new pals would make the first more or not though.

523 wc
1041 total wc

Mugen totally did not come in bowing his head flat on the floor while walking in. Nope, not going to pretend like it happened because fuck you. Totally walked in normally and bowed when he was close enough or something. Not gonna have it; you can’t vague manipulate me. It doesn’t happen unless I acknowledge it. I know your tricks. You can all eat a dick. Mugen gave a simple opening to his fellow ninja because he trusted them and instead got leapfrogged over by a man rampaging around as a gorilla. His ass would be slapped and to be honest he kind of liked it, the attention, at least. Mugen fell straight on to his face due to not anticipating such an action and broke his nose. Poor mother fucker look at what you assholes did. Not only that, but while he was obviously down and hurt, Gorilla fuck over here would slap his ass with the force of a thousand chancletas.

Mugen couldn’t feel any of this, of course, because it was apparently a negative characteristic to be able to ignore any and all damage done to you and your body regardless of the repercussions. Uhuh, Mugen couldn’t feel a damn thing and was unsure of how to think of the situation. It dawned on him, however, that this man could be a new species. The next evolution of mankind traversing across the evolutionary chain to a new, stronger, more handsome, gorilla-given strength. Such a thing would create the perfect human. Not only would they be as strong as a gorilla, but maintain the attributes of a man, and Mugen found this and their subsequent touching very attractive.

Before Mugen could say no homo to ensure that there was no homosexual context behind these actions he would again be taken in a sexually dominant fashion by the Gorilla as he shouted, and I quote,

”Handsome Gorilla” wrote:"IWA GANG. GANG GANG. WHOLE LOTTA ROCK SHIT".

. unquote.This was unexpected and again the man did not say no homo. Instead insisting on taking their sexual advances elsewhere; probably a better place to do the deed.

Before Mugen would be taken advantage of he’s stand to attention after it all went down, take his hands to his nose, and attempt to realign it to his face. Breaking it even further, but that didn’t matter, whole lotta gang shit. Hah, Iwa Gang. Gang gang.

He would bellow to his advancing comrades. ”NO HOMO” Bursting forward as they had turned their backs to Mugen to go on in the direction Joe was heading. Mugen would come up to Joe's left,  using his right hand for his next action. There was a minimal amount of distance put between them, enough for him to reach his side and slap the Gorilla’s left ass-cheek with his right hand with all his force in a single lunge. Continuing on to run in the direction the baddies were at.

You’d be a dick to try to evade that because you broke my nose; asshole. That’s going to take an indefinite amount of time to heal by the time we leave this mission and go to our next. Totally uncalled for.

They would eventually meet some immigrants huffing some substance or something; I dunno, I only skimmed the last post. It smelled bad, but that’s okay, because Mugen started running at them with his hands behind his back like a ninja. Tackling the one taking a nice long hit of their illegal drug and pinning him down on the ground.

”YEAH, LET’S GET THESE DRUGS OFF THE STREET, BOYS.” He’d shout. Totally using excessive force as he forced himself on top of the poor boy and pinned him down in a totally no-homo manner.

”STOP RESISTING. NO HOMO.” Mugen would shout, pinning his knee deeper into the boys spine.

”STOP. RESISTING. NO HOMO.” He’d continue to shout. Waiting for back up to take care of the other immigrants using illegal drugs. This is totally how you clean up the streets. Take out the drug user and not the drug dealers. Shove em’ in prison. Yeah, that’ll work.

Gorilla Joe watched in terror as the slap which he had unleashed with a force that he didn't even know he had within him, slammed the young edgy looking boy into the ground face first with nothing to break the fall. Joe initially stepped forward to apologize slapping dat juicy candy ass that felt real good in his hands in a heterosexual objectively speaking manner way too hard, but by the time Joe had opened his mouth to say sorry the boy had gotten up from the ground and dusted himself off. His face was a mess of blood and his nose looked like it was displaced pretty severely, but the boy had some crazy look in his eye and he just pushed the thing back in place. Back in place makes it sound like he fixed it, but the nose now looked like some kinda Picasso abstract art piece covered in blood. Sorry dude.

This didnt stop Joe from going to get the baddies of course, real men dont cry and we got a mission to do son. He carried on walking towards what he now identified and some young delinquent types who were judged to be so not based off of their skin color by the way, but by the fact that they appeared to be huffing some kind of illicit smelly brown drug in a bag. From behind Joe he heard a thunderous shout of heterosexuality from the boy he had previously ass slapped. "No homo" huh? I like that gonna use that in the future, Joe thought. Just as he was dwelling on the thoughts of heterosexuality, he saw the guy (who's name seemed like it should be Mugen based on a previous interaction that could also totally be taking place at the same time like some time travel multiple universe kinda thing so Joe decided he would just call him that from now on) run past looking like a speedy gonzales cartoon. Joe felt a sting right on him left glute that hurt kinda good to be perfectly honest. In an objective way though totally not cause Mugen slapped it.

Joe looked at the direction Mugen was running in and again took notice of the younglings huffing butt hash. Joe felt overcome with rage for the younglings who were so blatantly disobeying the law in broad daylight. How dare they. He felt emotion overcome him again and screeched out "DEY EAT DA POO POO". He charged in the same direction as Mugen who appeared to be committing a minor sexual assault on one of the gangsters, but that doesnt matter because Mugen is a ninja and you can do whatever you want when youre a ninja cause what are the peasants gonna do about it. The boy who Mugen was attacking was called Rodney King, Joe thought. Anyway, he charged towards another one of the delinquents and took a righteous leap of crime fighting passion into the air, before coming down with a double head stomp with the force of god. "NO EAT DA POO POO" Joe screamed, as he brought he face within inches of the guy he just attacked. He kinda smelled like feces. Joe turned around to the other boy who he decided he was gonna call Isei cause it felt right. "GET OVA HIER LITTLE BOI WE KILL DEM. NOT KILL I MEAN ARREST"