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Chigetsu Hōzuki

Chigetsu Hōzuki

Dead
It was difficult to get the rice down. It snagged in his throat uncomfortably. He could feel the lumb against his skin. His body rejected it, refusing to recognize it as food. He had barely gotten a few spoonfuls down before it all came back up again. The toilet was so far away, but he managed to dash for it and luckily not release the contents of his stomach all over the floor. This was a mistake. The rice was too plain, and swallowing it down felt as if he were trying to consume wood. At the same time the flavor overwhelmed and sickened him. All of it came out of him in a disgusting slop. He would continue to wretch, his body trying to reject something that was no longer there. Stomach acid came up and burnt at the inside of his throat, being painfully coughed out into the porcelain toilet bowl. His grip on reality was slipping. That laughter had never stopped. In any other case the voices would have calmed down, returning to silence until they were ready again to engage him in conversation, but no. It didn’t stop. He couldn't hear anything else. It was like a megaphone had been put up to his ears.

He fell. Loosing his balance entirely like he did wasn’t a very ideal thing to do in this situation. He had a few moments to think about how unlucky he was before his face collided with the toilet seat, slamming with an audible thud. The seat cushion was knocked down and hit him from behind. It was as if he were giving himself a swirly in this toilet bowl filled with his own vomit. Disgusting. He would slowly pull himself up, his face dripping with vomit and his own liquefied skin. It would all be wiped off. He would make sure not to accidentally absorb any of it into his flesh. That would be more than just unpleasant. There wasn’t a word that he knew for how exactly it would make him feel. Horrifyingly disgusting. Horrigusting. No, that didn’t even really capture the entirety of it. His facial features would be a grimace once he returned back to solidity.

All around him there would be noise. It bounced off every wall and echoed in each crevice inside his ears. He could hear it rumbling in his brain, shifting around the meat with its vibrations. Each whisper was a scream and every scream melded into the next until it was an ending torrent of quiet violence in his ears that didn’t stop. He couldn’t hear himself thinking. He wasn’t able to think at all with this noise. Chigetsu would clutch at his forehead, and then his temples, and then his hair. The pain in his forehead was too much to bear. The porcelain toilet seat would make repeated dull thudding sounds as he smashed his head into it, over and over. Each time he would instinctively liquefy before it was possible for any pain to be recognized. He wasn’t able to hurt himself. It was the curse of his body.  Even if he could it probably wouldn’t have done him any good. The noise was so intune with his brain he would have had to turn everything inside his skull into jelly in order to get them out. They were a part of him. A part of him that he had forgotten about before, but he didn’t think they would be so willing for him to forget again. The laughter had long turned into unintelligible noise, screaming nothing at him from every angle. The amount of weaponry he had on him wasn’t nearly enough for this. Just the kunai around his neck. Realizing its place in the pain he was feeling Chigetsu would immediately rip it off, and in his woozy struggle he would do the first thing that came to mind in order to get rid of it. He threw it right out the window.

Things were black for a while. He couldn’t see. If time was passing he wasn’t aware of it. It was a state of mind somewhat similar to sleep. Conscious thoughts slowly returned to him. Once it did he immediately regretted it. The noise had turned into something recognizable. Voices again. He began to return to awareness. It took him a few moments to realize where he was. Outside. On the ground. When throwing his kunai out the window he must have ended up falling out as well… How? How could something like that possibly happen? He didn’t want to think about it. It didn’t make any sense.

“You’ve forgotten your duty. Was all my teaching in vain?” He would shiver immediately. The kunai in his hand. He stared down at it, and all at once it was bright. Too bright to look at. He hissed and looked away.

“You’re a weapon. You must refine yourself. You’re forsaking your birthright. This is what you were destined for, Chigetsu.”

“Shut up. Shut up…” He would begin mumbling those words to himself, trying to drown out the sounds in his head.

“You aren’t supposed to feel pain. You aren’t supposed to feel love. You most definitely aren’t supposed to question the will of your master. Why are you thinking these thoughts? Did she corrupt you into believing you deserved better?”

“Don’t talk about her. Don’t you dare say her name.” He would grit his teeth now, and find that his mouth was full of grass. He lifted his head off the ground. “She has nothing to do with this.”

“She does. You were doing so well until she showed up. Now she’s ruining everything. What am I going to do with you?”

“You’re ruining everything! Why can’t you just go away!”

“Go away? Who was it that kept you company as a child and calmed your worried little mind? Who was it that guided you towards freedom when you couldn’t so much as see the cage that you were being kept in?” The voice strained, insulted. “I’ve always been there for you. I’ve done everything for you, and now this is what you give in return?”

“I don’t owe you anything…” He had to force those words out, each of them through clenched teeth. His grip on the wooden kunai was tight, clasped harder than necessary. It felt like his fingers would break.

“You ungrateful little brat. You’re still just a child. Without the fortitude that I’ve given you, what would you be? Could you really have achieved any of this by yourself?”

“You aren’t… I’m not alone, and you aren’t apart of me. You’ve just a voice. Just a voice… You aren’t…” He realized now where he was. Out in the open, screaming and squirming around in the grass and dirt. Carefully he would attempt to stand.

“I’m not apart of you? Oh really?” The voice was amused, in that disgustingly sarcastic manner which dripped with malice. “Let me show you how wrong you are.”





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Naruto and Naruto Shippuuden belong to © Masashi Kishimoto.