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1Shieldtsu [DONE] Empty Shieldtsu [DONE] Tue Apr 08, 2014 10:47 pm

Shieldtsu Nel

Shieldtsu Nel


D-rank

Shieldtsu [DONE] Shield10




Shieldtsu [DONE] FAHfQ33

Clan Name: Shieldtsu
Location: Scattered
Specialization: Ninjutsu, Chakra Flow, Fuinjutsu, Medical Ninjutsu, Senjutsu
Elements: Water, Earth, Wind



Shieldtsu [DONE] HhU72Pp

Clan History: The Shieldtsu clan is known for their pacifist standards, to which the members happily abide. They have become a clan which is isolated from the present, corrupted world and its violence. Although they are disappointed by the lack of peace, everywhere, and by the pressure to abandon their peace encouraging ways and high moral standards, their agenda is not to make the world a better place. They just want to live in peace, thus, they stay away.

The clan lives on an island that they created and call Shieldna. As of now, only the Shieldtsu know of its location. The majority of the clan lives on the island, but there are a few who have left to live throughout the world. Most of the children born to those who left, have not visited the island and thus do not know its location. In addition, 30 years ago the Counsel of the Shieldtsu have put into action a protocol to not welcome back, those who leave for personal reasons...

Members:

  • Nel




Shieldtsu [DONE] Y4syLuV

Kekkei Genkai Name: Guardian Energy
Kekkei Genkai Description: The Shieldtsu members can weave together the elements water, wind, and earth to create tangible energy that does not have any elemental properties, although its color varies from person to person. They call this: Guardian Energy. It is different from the natural chakra that runs through a person, in that the defensive properties of techniques made with this chakra, result being 1 rank stronger. Although their signature technique is the Guardian Shield, their ability to use this chakra is not limited to that technique. Yet, techniques that are created using Guardian Energy have an increased chakra cost of 25% (rounded up to the nearest tenth). The Shieldtsu also have an affinity for defensive techniques, so they are able to learn defensive techniques that are 1 rank higher.



Shieldtsu [DONE] Nelthu10


Guardian Shield:


Drawbacks:


  • Unable to learn a fourth element.
  • Primary specialization must be Ninjutsu, and the secondary must be Chakra Flow.
  • Unable to take "Hesitant(Specialization)" as a negative characteristic. In addition, the third and
    fourth specialization must be according to the ones specified in the clan's Basic Info.
  • The Shieldtsu cannot learn offensive techniques. In addition, they refuse to kill or hurt people regardless of the situation. They would rather die before tainting their hands. Although, they do value their lives so they have creative ways to knock out or pin down their enemies, when the going gets tough.



Last edited by Shieldtsu Nel on Sun Sep 16, 2018 7:19 am; edited 58 times in total (Reason for editing : Updated information)

2Shieldtsu [DONE] Empty Re: Shieldtsu [DONE] Wed Apr 09, 2014 12:04 pm

Daremo




S-rank

The clan's ability, Detroshna, consists of three body seals: Guardian, Paladin and Fortification. These Seals, are the epitomy of their approach to combat. Regardless, the Shieldtsu have abandoned all interest in violence, hence they are all permanently handicapped with a -1 to their Offensive Techniques. Clan members also have a permanent increase of 50 chakra to their chakra pool, and everytime they rank-up, they gain an additional +10 chakra permanently.

Even with all the drawbacks and the -1 to their Offensive techniques, the +50 permanent chakra boost & +10 every time they rank up is to large. There is no way they will potentially gain 100 chakra. Scale this down immensely.

No, to the passively regenerating shields as they is. If you want them, give an additional chakra cost to for regenerating the damage.

Jutsus, no matter if they are seals, can't give a chakra boost.

3Shieldtsu [DONE] Empty Re: Shieldtsu [DONE] Thu Apr 10, 2014 3:12 pm

Shieldtsu Nel

Shieldtsu Nel


D-rank
Bump~

4Shieldtsu [DONE] Empty Re: Shieldtsu [DONE] Fri Apr 11, 2014 11:21 am

Keiko

Keiko


D-rank
Okay, a couple more things that I've picked out that require attention / changes.

KKG Description:

- Not sure if I missed this when reading, but I'd like to see how the body seals are given. Are they born with it, given the seal by a family member when they're first born, get it at a certain age, etc. ? Specify this in either the KKG description, or the clan history.
- Positive special characteristics should not outweigh the negatives. So while Stamina can be a required SC, it still needs to be counterbalanced.
- Each seal itself already has a huge amount of potential, decrease the chakra pool increase. Even the Uzumaki clan, known in canon for their larger chakra pools, only receive a +20.
- Paladin Seal: I'm going to say no to the cool down reset and halving thing. Cooldowns will remain, this is already enough as it is - with it's ability to enable flight.

Drawbacks:

- Specify how the debuff to offensive techniques is applied. Does it decrease every aspect of a technique (range, speed, damage, etc.), or just damage?

-
Shieldtsu Clan wrote:Cannot take "Frail", "Pharmacophobia", "One-track Mind", "Fatigue", and "Cowardice" as a Special Characteristic.

Why are these drawbacks? If anything, I'd say these are positive aspects.

Jutsu:

- First thing I'm going to say before modding everything is that generally, clans can not give SS ranked techniques, as all clan techniques are automatically free (in terms of training and ryo costs), and SS ranks should not be given out as free techniques. Additionally, I'd like the number of S ranks to be decreased to two, as upon reaching the rank of Jounin, users are only allowed to have 2 S ranks. Once those have been removed / adjusted, the jutsu themselves will be reviewed at the next bump.

5Shieldtsu [DONE] Empty Re: Shieldtsu [DONE] Fri Apr 11, 2014 12:43 pm

Shieldtsu Nel

Shieldtsu Nel


D-rank
Bump! ^_^


Adjustments Required:

-Edited KKG Description to specify how the Seals are attained.
-As for the SC Stamina. In this case it doesn't outweigh the Negative SC. Shieldtsu members, wether they choose additional SC or not, will always start out with Stamina and the two other Negative SC, therefore even then the balance is still kept (actually Negatives will outweigh Positives). But if you still feel that's not acceptable, i'll change it. I just thought I should mention that~
-Decreased Chakra Increase to +20. (Even though I would still like for you to consider to allow me to keep the +50, since the clan has the restriction of 1 offensive technique for every 10 defensive, which will give the users a tough time in a fight. Also, the Guardian Seal is pretty costly with Chakra and so can the Fortification Seal also be. Or maybe I can change to +10 at rank-up, this way the user will only be benefitted when he ranks-up, and well...rarely does anyone get to Jounin so people will be getting +30 max)
-Removed flight ability, and lowered 50% cooldown decrease to a constant 25% at Ranks  A and S. (I would really like to keep the reset on cooldowns. )

Adjustments Required:

-Specified -1 debuff to apply only to Rank and Damage.
-Removed mentioned SC from Drawbacks section.

Required Adjusments:

-Lowered Guardian Seal and Paladin Seal to S Rank, max. Lowered Fortification Seal to A Rank, max.

6Shieldtsu [DONE] Empty Re: Shieldtsu [DONE] Mon Apr 14, 2014 6:58 pm

Daraku

Daraku


D-rank
This clan is really way too complicated. It needs to be streamlined heavily. Clans need to be succinct and clear to be approved, here. You go into lots of detail and that's good and all, but you also incorporate a ton of rank mechanics and chakra use and that's really unnecessary. Get rid of as many percentages and dice rolls as possible, I don't like those in the first place and they're hard to implement into Saga roleplay anyhow. Also, +1s to certain types of jutsu are being removed; we're undergoing guidelines revamps at the moment, so it might not be that good of an idea to have the clan based around +1s to defensive and supplementary techniques. Aside from that, I'll get right into the clan jutsu for now.

Guardian Seal - The whole 3% regeneration per 1 chakra thing, take that out entirely. Focus on changing the wording from percentages. For example, in the C-Rank version, rather than saying A-Rank causes 100% damage B-Rank causes 50% and so on and so forth, say that it can block x amount of A-Rank techniques, and/or x amount of B-Rank techniques before breaking, etc. That's how defensive jutsu usually work here. Now, if you do want to incorporate a regeneration aspect, don't base it around percentages. Just make it a plain "the user must stand still for one full post to repair the shield fully, and it can only be repaired once per use of the technique." Even then, it might be hard to pass, because regenerating defensive techniques are kind of overpowered in my eyes. Next, it says in the beginning of the description that a .5 in rank is added to defensive techniques while using the seal, but it also says you still get the +1 to defensive jutsu...so do you get a 1.5 total? Finally, increase the cooldown to at least the Duration+2.

Paladin Seal - This is another +1 technique, which I think this clan already has enough of. And take out the reset cooldowns of all techniques mechanic, that is way too overpowered imo and cooldowns should be a solid thing. Maybe lowering cooldowns is ok, in small portions, but not reseting all of them to 0. Also, can this be stacked with the Guardian Seal's defensive technique boost?

Fortification Seal - Yet another technique based around +1s. Like I said earlier in this post, +1s to jutsu are being removed/revamped, so this might not work out, but I'll still mod it normally. Change the duration to a number of posts. You can't make a jutsu have a certain number of uses rather than a duration; that's not in line with jutsu guidelines.

These are just preliminary edits while I continue looking over this. In the meantime, I'd like as much feedback from as many other mods as possible on this, including Nanashi and Keiko, who were already working on it.

7Shieldtsu [DONE] Empty Re: Shieldtsu [DONE] Tue Apr 15, 2014 4:08 am

Shieldtsu Nel

Shieldtsu Nel


D-rank
Okay~

Edits:
-Removed ALL Dice Rolls, and their Functions.
-Removed ALL percentages.
-Tame says that Passive +1 from simply being a member of a Clan are being removed. At the same time, he says that Jutsus that give +1 to other Jutsus will remain. As far as this Clan, the Clan itself doesn't have any passive +1, if anything it has a -1!

Tame wrote:The removal of all passive boosts in rank-power to techniques, bestowed by a clan, item, or otherwise. Thus, jutsu that boost other jutsu are unaffected by this particular change, and will be reformatted with a soon-to-come Jutsu Rules update.

Edits:
-Changed wording from percentages.
-Removed shield regeneration. Now to regenerate the Shield, the user must deactivate the Seal and after cooldown, the Shield can be summoned renewed. Only if the Shield doesnt break before deactivation.
-Only the Shield has +1 Defense. The +.5 is added to other defensive techniques, but only while this Seal is active.
-Ahmm cooldown 2post+duration??? D: Please consider the concept here! The Shieldtsu are focused on Defense with almost no Offensive abilities! Although this is an enhanced Shield (which is completely balanced by the Clan's drawbacks), it's purpose IS also to be accessible and reliable. If i were to add "+duration", that could mean that i could be left wide-open, useless, screwed, for 5 posts easily...i'd be better off with Bukijutsu. The Shield doesn't get enhanced by the Fortification Seal or the Paladin Seal. Sure, the shield is good yes, but not OP. It's not cheap in chakra cost either. It's not like the clan will make it easy for me to go on a killing rampage, rather it's the opposite. Tame could still overpower the defensive bonuses of this clan!
Edits:
-Removed "reset cooldowns" and replaced with flying.
-Yes it does stack with Guardian Seal's +.5 boost to defensive techniques. This technique doesn't affect the +1 to the shield though (the +1 is only to the shield and it will always be for the shield only). In fact, none of the Seals affect one another, but their effects do stack onto other jutsus.
-The clan only has 3x +1, in total (+1 on Shield, +1 from Paladin Seal Activation [which is only truly beneficial at Rank-S], +1 from Fortification Seal [which can be costly, so it requires tactic]. If you notice where they apply and how they apply, you should be able to recognize that it truly isn't OP....not if you also consider the drawbacks, and how everything comes together.
Edits:
-Edited to set a duration. (Jutsu Guidelines don't have a "Duration" section. :/ )

Other Edits:

8Shieldtsu [DONE] Empty Re: Shieldtsu [DONE] Tue Apr 15, 2014 5:51 pm

Tame

Tame


D-rank
Balance-free Stamina and +20 chakra balanced by....a whole lot of other things. KKG buffs/debuffs in themselves are good.

Now, for the jutsu....~

I'll tell you straight out what the jutsu rules are going to reformat +1s from jutsu to be. An A-rank jutsu will be able to boost the next applicable/chosen technique technique by 1. S-ranks have more leeway in how many they can do, but this largely varies with chakra cost.

Maybe your KKG jutsu allow you to do such things maintainably, below A-rank, in exchange for much higher chakra costs. But as-is....

Guardian Seal: 2x chakra cost for 1 rank higher in blocking power? OK, I suppose. As said above, the maintainable +.5 to effectiveness (which by the way is incredibly hard to discern and is/has never been done because we don't measure jutsu in .5 ranks) would cost you a big ton of chakra.

Paladin Seal: You're going to need some hefty activation and maintenance costs if you want to keep the +1 to defensive jutsu (and I do mean very, very hefty). Actually, you'll need a higher chakra cost at A and S even without it; you're resetting all cooldowns to 0 and making yourself able to fly.

Fortification: This may be able to work with much higher chakra costs as a pay-per-use technique, similar to how it is....but again, with much, much higher chakra costs.

9Shieldtsu [DONE] Empty Re: Shieldtsu [DONE] Tue Apr 15, 2014 8:30 pm

Shieldtsu Nel

Shieldtsu Nel


D-rank

Ready to be checked again~

Edits Made:

10Shieldtsu [DONE] Empty Re: Shieldtsu [DONE] Thu Apr 17, 2014 6:16 pm

Tame

Tame


D-rank
Paladin: This is a long-duration boost, which I'm not OK with at A-rank with its current chakra cost; I meant that both the flight/cooldown reset and the existing boost would raise the cost. For a limited-duration jutsu such as this, I would recommend you make the activation cost higher as opposed to Fortification's higher per-jutsu cost. I think you wrote something twice at the end of the jutsu.

I have little issue with Fortification.

Guardian still needs a dynamic cooldown (such as 'Duration +1') to be legal, as it is a dynamic-duration technique. I am fine if the Paladin Seal only resets the cooldown of this jutsu, as you said this is kind of the basis of the entire clan.

11Shieldtsu [DONE] Empty Re: Shieldtsu [DONE] Thu Apr 17, 2014 6:43 pm

Shieldtsu Nel

Shieldtsu Nel


D-rank
Bump for Approval (hopefully).

Edits Made:

12Shieldtsu [DONE] Empty Re: Shieldtsu [DONE] Thu Apr 17, 2014 7:03 pm

Daremo




S-rank
Approved.

13Shieldtsu [DONE] Empty Re: Shieldtsu [DONE] Fri Dec 16, 2016 12:40 am

Shieldtsu Nel

Shieldtsu Nel


D-rank
Hello!

I created this clan some time ago, but I became inactive a while after that.

At this time, I would like to RP again. For this reason, I would like to request that a mod review my clan to verify if it is acceptable in consideration of any changes that may have come about that can possibly affect the techniques of my clan, the buffs/debuffs, etc. I make this request because it has been a while and I see things have changed somewhat, so I would like to bring this clan up to speed.

Thank you!

14Shieldtsu [DONE] Empty Re: Shieldtsu [DONE] Sat Dec 17, 2016 10:39 pm

Ayakashi

Ayakashi


S-rank
Do those 3 seals do anything? it is a KKG afterall, if their effect has more to do with their history and cosmetic aesthetic, they should be moved out of the KKG section :)

15Shieldtsu [DONE] Empty Re: Shieldtsu [DONE] Sat Dec 17, 2016 11:48 pm

Shieldtsu Nel

Shieldtsu Nel


D-rank
I'm sorry but I did not understand you.

There is section for the KKG Description and another for the KKG Jutsu (at the end). In the KKG Description I added pictures and background/historical info of the KKG. Whereas in the KKG Jutsu section, you may see what the seals do.

16Shieldtsu [DONE] Empty Re: Shieldtsu [DONE] Sun Dec 18, 2016 1:19 am

Ayakashi

Ayakashi


S-rank
Oh, my bad, i see where i've gone wrong, im used to modding the new template.

So, firstly, you're going to have to change this to the new template for clans. We no longer allow free techniques / jutsu on clans, there is going to be a Hiden section open in the jutsu section for clan techniques to be kept secret. So, if you would like to add something saying that clan members gain these specific jutsu through certain training or methods or get them for free as part of the KKG, you would say so here. But they're not printed in the clan section any longer. ~

17Shieldtsu [DONE] Empty Re: Shieldtsu [DONE] Thu Sep 13, 2018 1:53 am

Shieldtsu Nel

Shieldtsu Nel


D-rank
BUMP.


Ayakashi wrote:Oh, my bad, i see where i've gone wrong, im used to modding the new template.

So, firstly, you're going to have to change this to the new template for clans. We no longer allow free techniques / jutsu on clans, there is going to be a Hiden section open in the jutsu section for clan techniques to be kept secret. So, if you would like to add something saying that clan members gain these specific jutsu through certain training or methods or get them for free as part of the KKG, you would say so here. But they're not printed in the clan section any longer. ~

Hello. I understand that the post i quoted is a bit old... but if it's still applicable, will someone please explain. I did not understand the part that is in bold.

18Shieldtsu [DONE] Empty Re: Shieldtsu [DONE] Sun Sep 16, 2018 5:39 am

Ayakashi

Ayakashi


S-rank
" in that the defensive properties of techniques made with this chakra, result being twice as strong."
-you're going to need to quantify this, or id remove the twice as strong thing and just say stronger. Which would allure to the fact you can use them of a rank higher than normal.

Also, jutsu are unable to be placed on clans any longer, if you would like, you could use a doujutsu template for this unique barrier. Similar to how the byakkugan is structured, so you could make the shield stronger and more elaborate rank by rank.

i like the clan a lot though. be sure to put it in the clan modding requests when its been updated.

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