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1Osore Clan Empty Osore Clan Mon Apr 03, 2017 10:03 am

Blargles

Blargles


D-rank
Symbol:
Osore Clan Osore_10


Osore Clan FAHfQ33
Clan Name: Osore

Location: Scattered

Specialization: Bukijutsu, Medical Ninjutsu

Elements: Osore Clan Lightn12 雷遁 {Raiton}

Osore Clan HhU72Pp
Clan History: Within the darkest depths of the world, where light can never shine and the shadows are so thick you could almost push yourself against them and meet resistance, life still blooms. Nameless creatures live there, abominations that crawl, ooze, slide, slither, and sometimes... walk upright on two legs. The Osore clan are counted among such creatures, remnants of primeval man that drove themselves deep beneath the earth long ago, and over time adapted to the palpable darkness. On the surface, they in many ways still greatly resemble modern humans, albeit usually much paler and gaunt. Underneath, however, their time spent among the nameless shadows has evolved the clan into machines of the terrible and horrifying unknown.

In order to protect themselves against the creatures lurking in the dark, the clan slowly learned to take advantage of the darkness by emitting a sort of 'presence' that would ward off would-be predators. This presence worked on an instinctual level, making anything that entered its area of effect feel like something was very wrong and sending it scurrying in the opposite direction. As generations passed this technique slowly evolved into a sort of 'fear field' that members of the clan passively emitted, a sign that their clan line had slowly adapted to their dark home on a genetic level. Using this knowledge, members of the clan began weaving this fear field in with their chakra, creating new techniques that could manipulate, paralyze or even kill through sheer terror, and birthed Yūkuton, the Dread Release. Wielding this newfound power, the clan flourished and began expanding throughout the cracks of the earth, becoming kings of the dark, underground realm.

Of course, subterranean life isn't for everyone, and over time those of the clan who grew too restless or curious left on pilgrimage into the outside world. These brave pilgrims faced much hardship adjusting to the radically different outside world, where light suddenly shone across the land for half of the day and strange people lit torches and other light sources when the darkness finally came. The natural aura of unease Osore members generate also frequently brought them into conflict with those they came into contact with, forcing them to initially stick to the fringes of society. Of course, there are far stranger things in this world of shinobi, so as more time passed and greater numbers of Osore ventured into the outside world, this initial culture clash began to fade away. Eventually, the clan and its members became just another entry among the many other strange and wondrous shinobi clans that roam the planet to this day.

In the modern age, Osore are most commonly found in the employ of gangsters or other shady individuals seeking to strike a degree of fear into the hearts of their enemies. Otherwise, members of the clan are often shinobi, where their ability to elicit terror from their victims is a prized tool in interrogation. Least commonly, some Osore choose to give in to their dark side, unleashing horror to prey on animals and unwary travelers in the dead of night...

Members: N/A


Osore Clan Y4syLuV
Kekkei Genkai Name: Dread Release || Osore Clan Yokuto12 憂懼遁 {Yūkuton}

Kekkei Genkai Description: Dread Release (Yūkuton) is not actually an advanced-nature kekkei genkai, as the name would suggest. It is in reality a Hiden, a specific and secret application of the lightning chakra nature, Raiton. This ability is known for a long line of special techniques stemming from the manipulation of the 'fight or flight' response all living creatures possess. By using lightning to oscillate the air at a frequency that affects the amygdala within the brain, Dread Release users and their techniques can generate 'alarm signals' and empower weapons to potentially sow fear into the hearts of their enemies. Typically, Yūkuton techniques/jutsu do not deal a great amount of raw damage for their rank, instead opting to focus on affecting the areas of the brain that relate to fear, in an attempt to elicit the emotion from their victims.

Dread Release begins at D-Rank and must be trained up like any element or specialization, but may never be trained more than one rank further than the user's rank. Eg. A Genin/D-Rank ninja cannot train Dread Release further than C-Rank until they have become a Chūnin. The word counts for training are listed below:

D rank – C rank: 3000 words
C rank – B rank: 4000 words
B rank – A rank: 5000 words
A rank – S rank: 9000 words

All jutsu that utilize Yūkuton must state so on the jutsu under the Specializations section.

Fear Field:
Fear-laced Weaponry:
Fear Chakra:
Fear Sense:

Drawbacks:

  • Due to their long history of living in absolute pitch black, the eyesight of the Osore does not fare as well in the above-ground world. Members of the clan are afflicted with -2 tier of Perception. Eg. A shinobi of this clan trained to E-3 in Perception would, in reality, still only possess E-1 Perception.

  • Due to puppets not being alive, they cannot feel fear. This severely reduces the ability of an Osore to get close enough to a puppet master to utilize their skills effectively. Techniques that require Kugutsu gain a +1 rank of effectiveness against members of the clan.

  • The clan focuses very heavily of the nature of fear and how their jutsu and other tehcniques can draw it out from others. For this reason, all Elements other than Raiton and all Specializations other than Bukijutsu and Medical Ninjutsu gain a 20% word-count increase to train.

  • Further evidence of the above, the clan does feel the need for a full suite of elements outside of the Raiton they use in their secret techniques, though they do acknowledge that a degree of diversity is advantageous. Members of the clan must take the negative special characteristic, 'Hesitant (Element)' at character creation.
    Hesitant (Element):

  • The constant presence of the 'fear field' drains the clan's natural chakra reserves. All Osore suffer a permanent -20 to their chakra pool.



Last edited by Blargles on Sun Jun 04, 2017 9:04 pm; edited 11 times in total

2Osore Clan Empty Re: Osore Clan Tue May 02, 2017 11:00 pm

Sol

Sol


D-rank
Good to see you back on! I'm Zeke, the new Clans moderator.

The history was a small treat to read, plus it hits the basic points (creation of clan, development of KKG,
et cetera) that are required for an Advanced Element clan.

That said, please consider the following points which are the baseline for an Advanced Release.

1. How does it work? Normally an Advanced Release comprised of two or more elements needs to explain in what manner those elements produce the effects of the advanced one. For example, how does one 'generate' fear to blend into chakra? Are you naturally afraid all the time in order to harness that emotion?

2. Is this an actual element, one that can't be produced by any other means, or is it a Hiden, a closely guarded line of secret techniques that no other person can produce quite like you can? For example, Storm Release is unique in the fashion of the former; it combines the energy component of electricity with the flowing form of water, which you can't mimic with any other element. The Nara's shadow manipulation (which used to be an element, but we changed it to be a Hiden) is a function of Yin Release to solidify chakra, which anyone can do, but it's special to them because they use their shadows.

Onto the parts of your Kekkei Genkai...

-

The fear field is a hard deny; +1s to jutsu effectiveness were removed from the entire site long ago.

-

Fear-Laced Weaponry is an interesting and legal effect; however, its duration should not be indefinite unless there's some easy-out to negating it. I might recommend that the fear 'sets in' after a certain number of posts after being hit.

-

Fear Constructs: This is an example of my Hiden vs. Element quandary. Anyone can create solid forms from chakra; what makes a technique of this type unique?
-

Fear Sensing: Not too powerful, but very flavorful. A-OK.

-

Your drawbacks are all viable, but the balance remains to be seen until the Kekkei Genkai is in its final iteration.

3Osore Clan Empty Re: Osore Clan Sat May 20, 2017 5:23 am

Blargles

Blargles


D-rank
Hey there! Nice to meet you. Thanks for having a look at my ol' app here.


  1. In response to your first issue about Hiden vs Advanced Element, I actually did quite a bit of research about fear, how it's generated, why it happens, along with some experimental/new studies. I determined two elements that could be used as constituents and adjusted my profile accordingly. I haven't edited it in the history just yet, pending what you think of the changes I made in the Kekkai Genkai section.

  2. Next up, the fear field. I removed the +1 to Genjutsu and added a -1 to Reaction Time to victims of the field. I gathered from your response that the main issue with it was the +1 to jutsu, which I didn't realize had become a no-go on the site. You'll have to forgive me here as I did a lot of research through the clan directory here to see what was good and was was not but I do understand that some clans are outdated to the current rules plus the list isn't strictly current itself either.

  3. Fear-laced Weaponry, I haven't changed yet, other than some small wording changes. I just wanted to clarify, do you mean the fear effects from the weapons set in after a certain amount of posts, THEN it becomes permanent until the cut is healed? With some sort of out for the victim during those three posts? Or were the comments about it being indefinite and the fear setting in both separate thoughts? Sorry, I'm just a little unsure here.

  4. Finally, Fear Constructs, I was merely trying to talk about what they can do with their advanced release and fell short. I changed it's name to "Fear Chakra" and tried to give a more adequate explanation.

  5. Oh! And in response to adding Raiton to their repertoire, I removed the Drawback about Katon and Raiton reducing their Perception by -1 and just added it onto the first Drawback for a permanent total of -2 Perception.

4Osore Clan Empty Re: Osore Clan Sat May 20, 2017 1:17 pm

Jet

Jet


D-rank
From what I see, producing or using fear is not an element and also godmodding in a way. How can you use the fear of others or in themselves (which can be memories, their own fears, or any unknown factor, they can also simply chose not to role play in fear). Pheromones is a very medical thing as shown with the Nishimura who use their medical knowledge to create pheromones for their genjutsu. Compacting them with air in an area does not make sense to control so many factors.

You want to make a fear field? Similar to that of the kurohebi with their dark aura? It is somewhat okay but I will not allow you to make others feel fear rather that something is amiss and perhaps chilly like the kurohebi including the stat debuff on others. Outright controlling others and their emotions fully for something that outright powers your kekki genkai is a no go.

I really cant move on further till we work out how your kekki genaki works and completely fill it out without repeating myself. If you want to create pheromones and affect someone's nervous systems to produce fear you need medical ninjutsu at least.

5Osore Clan Empty Re: Osore Clan Sun May 21, 2017 12:26 am

Blargles

Blargles


D-rank
Hey, thanks for taking a look.

  1. Got rid of the pheromones, reduced it just to lightning that oscillates at a special frequency that triggers the 'fight or flight' response within the brain. This way its up to the other player to decide if they feel fear, indifference, or what in response to Dread Release techniques. But the 'fight or flight' response is very much biological, so despite how they feel about it, it's still there. The whole 'special frequency' thing I got from a study last year in the journal Nature Neuroscience that showed electrical activity that oscillated at a certain frequency could elicit the 'fight or flight' response in the brains of test animals. So it's not much of a stretch at all.

  2. Made the desired edits to the Fear Field and added Medical Ninjutsu as a requirement for Specializations.

6Osore Clan Empty Re: Osore Clan Mon May 22, 2017 8:17 pm

N'Jobu Aburame

N'Jobu Aburame


C-rank
Given this is technically an Advanced release, I would like to see some method as to train up the Dread Release. In addition I would like to see at least 1 more drawback for balance purposes.

7Osore Clan Empty Re: Osore Clan Tue May 23, 2017 4:17 am

Blargles

Blargles


D-rank
Hello there! Your requested edits have been made! I also changed up some wording to try and make things more clear all over the app, though I still haven't touched the History pending any further changes I may have to make.

8Osore Clan Empty Re: Osore Clan Fri May 26, 2017 10:34 am

N'Jobu Aburame

N'Jobu Aburame


C-rank
Upon some discussion here is what would need to be changed/modified:

Fear field - Given this is a passive, it would require a permanent chakra reduction to your chakra pool. You can choose to do this, or remove the ability. Also its range should be in line with jutsu guidelines and probably should scale with ninja rank.

Fear Laced Weaponry - This needs to have a wear off period. You can separate these however. I.E. the speed reduction wears off after X posts and reaction time after X+2. Also it should not be able to stack until both debuffs have worn off.

Fear Chakra - This is an interesting concept but its way too strong. This would have to be explained in significant detail with more drawbacks and a clear progression of how the effect builds

Fear Sense - This is way too strong. Considering this is a radius range for sensing this would need to be toned down to fall in line with jutsu guidelines.

Drawbacks: Upon further considerations, you need some more drawbacks to counteract the vast positives you have.  I would suggest limiting your possible elements via the hesitant sc. and see the above comments for chakra reductions

9Osore Clan Empty Re: Osore Clan Sat May 27, 2017 9:26 am

Blargles

Blargles


D-rank
Heyo, once again thanks for taking the time.


  1. Fear Field - Edits made. Kept the technique, added a -20 chakra pool reduction. Hope that's enough! I didn't actually check but off the top of my head I think Senjutsu adds +20 chakra to your pool? Or something like that? So I figured a -20 reduction would be ok.

  2. Fear-laced Weaponry - Done and done! ...I think. I took a crack at it based on my interpretation of what you said about this one. If I'm way off base, my bad.

  3. Fear Chakra - This was again me just trying to describe what exactly Yūkuton techniques can do that's special. Like umm, how to explain this, you know how there are no clan jutsu anymore? Well this is more of me trying to tell everyone exactly what their Yūkuton jutsu should be doing, not so much of an effect I wanted to be a measurable thing. More like a guide for a per jutsu thing, if that makes sense. If someone could help me reword this a little so it fits more into what I am trying to get across that would be absolutely lovely.

  4. Fear Sense - Finally, done and done! I was looking at sensory range instead of jutsu range and I think this is more in-line with jutsu guidelines now? Hope so anyway.

10Osore Clan Empty Re: Osore Clan Thu Jun 08, 2017 6:55 pm

N'Jobu Aburame

N'Jobu Aburame


C-rank
Fear field is good now.

Remove the effects of fear field on fear-laced weaponry. Its a bit too strong with the double dip hit on RT.

Fear chakra needs to be a bit more expanded. You have to explain how exactly these effects will occur. Say after being hit with X amount of B+ rank Yukuton you begin to experience heart trouble. After X+Y they experience some kind of cardiac arrest. After X+Y+Z techs they die. Something along those lines.

Fear Sense - Upon further consideration, I'm ok with the radius now but I think the fear field condition should be removed. There needs to be some kind of 'tagging' effect so that you can't just walk into a room and know someone is there whose using some stealth technique without using a sensory jutsu. Now if you want to keep it, I would require it to have some more chakra drain as its technically passive chakra sensory.

Looks good tho

11Osore Clan Empty Re: Osore Clan Fri Jun 09, 2017 6:21 pm

Nozomi

Nozomi


D-rank
Modding Pre-approved by Ashes (Issei has additional):

For the “Fear Field”, I’d say the -20 is a good basis for a chakra pool reduction, it seems fairly standard from what I’ve seen.
For the “Fear Laced Weaponry”, in all honesty, I’d change it around. As Yukuton is something that can be trained, I’d make equivalents of what it can do at any rank, considering that’s more of a basis for the individual jutsu that are created, and it’s more difficult to lump every single jutsu into one category. The way it is now, regardless of how many Yukuton Buki techniques landed and their individual abilities, the effects wouldn’t stack, unless it’s specified that this is in addition to any other effects a jutsu would state. In that case, I’m fine with multiple strikes resetting the debuffs, but I do agree that the effects shouldn’t stack beyond the initial strikes.
For the “Fear Chakra”, it is stated ‘This causes victim to be flooded with more and more hormones as the brain tries to react to each dose, eventually raising their blood pressure to dangerous heights after numerous strikes and driving them closer and closer to a fatal heart attack’ I’d like to see some numbers and stats that correlate. A cap of the amount of damage a Yukuton technique can have stacked at any given trained rank. What classifies as numerous strikes, and how many til a fatal heart attack. Is there some sort of strike counter that once added up to the total means death? Those sorts of things need an answer.
For the “Fear Sense”, I believe it would be fine with a higher range of radius, although I’d say the ranges should be conditional on what rank of Dread Release is already trained.

12Osore Clan Empty Re: Osore Clan Fri Jun 09, 2017 9:43 pm

Issei

Issei


D-rank
Heya~

This clan's kekkei genkai operates very similarly to Genjutsu, in my opinion, maybe more so than Medical Ninjutsu. However, I will not enforce that this be changed, and will mod it assuming that it remains as is. Fear Field seems fine, Fear-Laced Weaponry is a little iffy to me. I don’t mind additional strikes resetting the duration of the debuff but I don’t like that the second strike applies the speed debuff and adds to the duration at the same time. So, I would say: 1st strike applies first debuff. 2nd strike applies second debuff. 3rd strike, and every additional strike within the duration beyond the 3rd, extends the duration of the debuffs. Fear chakra needs to be very specific with how many strikes cause collateral damage (heart attacks, high blood pressure). Fear sense seems a little underpowered tbh, since it is the same radius as fear field. I’ll let you get away with bumping it up to 10 meters. I would like that in the drawbacks section you add something about people with the Strong-Willed characteristic being resistant to Yukuton techniques in some way, and due to the way the kekkei genkai operates, despite not being Genjutsu based, I think that people under the effects of Yukuton should be able to use Genjutsu Kai of an appropriate rank in order to free themselves from the Raiton’s effects, provided that they are able to figure out how it works IC.

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