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1Amagiri Clan (W.I.P) Empty Amagiri Clan (W.I.P) Sun May 08, 2016 2:16 pm

Yaboku

Yaboku


D-rank
Amagiri Clan (W.I.P) Winged-Sword-Tattoo-Sample

Clan: Amagiri Clan
Kekkei Genkai: Saikometorī
Elements: None
Specialization: Bukijutsu/Fūinjutsu
Location: Konoha
Clan History:
Legend of Shanao:

The Amagiri clan is one that has it's power in the Bukijutsu and Fuinjutsu, and it's a clan that dates back to well before Konoha was formed, some say it is one of the oldest clans to date rivaling that of even the Uchiha and Senju clans.

The Amagiri clan was present during the Uchiha Senju war that took place before the founding of Konoha. The Amagirl were originally sided with the Uchiha clan following them into battle against the Senju, but once the fighting started to become out of control the Amagiri clan backed out of the war believing that the Uchiha as well as the Senju lost what they were fighting for. Once they backed out from the war the Amagiri still wished to help anyway they could, so they focused their forces on containment of the warring clans; keeping both clans with in what would one day be the nation of the fire and not allowing other clans or lands to get involved in the conflict in fear of to much blood would be shed. Once the dust settled the Uchiha clan, and the Senju clan signed a treaty, with this treaty signed the Amagiri clan approached the two clans and offered their services vowing to do whatever is needed to keep the Village alive.

The Amagiri clan is loyal to the very end, having taken place in every conflict Konoha has been apart of. Those who still practice in the old style will die before they give up info, or often times take their own lives rather then be taken alive by the enemy. It is this loyalty that many Hokage count on when a tasks needs to be done that they fear other shinobi wouldn't be able to do, or willing to do.

As the clan aged the number of members retaining the Kekkei Genkai slowly died out, moving from the thousands, to hundreds to now only a handful still able to activate the Kekkei Genkai.

Kekkei Genkai Description: Do to the simple act of breeding, members of the clan who are born with chakra elements lose the ability to unlock the Kekkei Genkai, some believe this is because the chakra natures block the dormant Tengu energy with in them. Those who do not retain the Kekkei Genkai are born with elements but lose the benefits, (3rd spec), and can not use the Bureido Sutiiru, or the Unsealing Technique: Mind and Soul Reincarnation.  

At a young age seals are place on various body parts of the clans members, much like tattoos. These seals are mixed with blood and chakra of both the elder of the clan and the member being 'tattooed'. This mixture makes the seals permanent meaning the caster only needs to "refill" the seals. These seals act as a conduits for the clans Fūinjutsu, this means they simply pay the chakra cost of unlocking the seal to activate it (E: 5 D: 10 C: 15 B: 20 A: 25 S: 30 SS: 40) The seal can be used for any form of jutsu one rank higher and below. The clan member starts off with one free Blood Tattoo seal, all others must be apped as normal items or jutsu, they are then placed into the items locker using the following:

Blood seal:

There is one seal that is formed differently then the rest, this second type, has its ink mixed with every clan member since the clan was formed. Each time a new baby is born their blood is added to this ink, thus carrying on the legacy and adding to the pool. The elder then takes this ink and creates a seal on the body of the newest clans member giving them the ability to use the Unsealing Technique: Mind and Soul Reincarnation, but they must complete the mission.

Mission:

Amagiri clan is well known for their art of Bukijutsu, and as such they are able to learn techniques they see by having a deep understanding of how the body moves while using Bukijutsu. With having the knowledge, understanding and deep roots of Bukijutsu this allows them to watch the movement of a persons body in a fine detail, down to the slightest muscle movement, stance, and footwork and then mimic the very motion to replicate the attack they.

The Amagiri have homed their skills in the forging of things weapons and as such have created special weapons by combining their blood, chakra and a seal the weapons are able to seal a single jutsu of equal rank of the weapon, and changes it's damage out put to that of the jutsu.

Being of weapon mastery the clan members can use 1 rank higher than normal (A genin can use B-rank swords and armor),

Amagiri Forged weapon:

Clan members can start off with three specialization instead of the normal two, the third being placed and must be trained up from D. [two out of the three must be Fūinjutsu and Bukijutsu].

Drawbacks:

  • Members much start with Fūinjutsu and Bukijutsu
  • Members can not start with elements.
  • Members can not start with ninjutsu, and can only take it as a fourth spec.
  • Members can only learn two elements, their first element at Chuunin, second at jounin
  • Even after learning an elemental nature, ninjutsus created are weaker, the further they are from the caster the more unstable they will become, once they reach a certain limit they will fall apart. (D-10m, C-15, B-20, A-30m, S- 35m, SS-50m)
  • Elemental Ninjutsu attacks are one rank lower in damage when used by a clans member (this is excluding those in the seals.)
  • Members channel a small amount of chakra to maintain so many seals, because of this the chakra pool is lowered by 20
  • Since the clans body must always be in top shape as well as in sync, members must train each stat equally, this means no stat may be 2 tiers above another.
  • Members can not take the following positives: Mighty, Elementalist, Jutsu Master and Quick Learner.
  • Members must take Hesitant (Element) as a negative.
  • Learning a element have a 10% increase to word count cost.
  • Elemental jutsus cost an additional 10 charka when used.


Members: Yaboku

Kekkei Genkai Jutsu:

Ittou Shura:

Bureido Sutiiru:

Unsealing Technique:



Last edited by Yaboku on Sat May 14, 2016 11:00 am; edited 34 times in total

2Amagiri Clan (W.I.P) Empty Re: Amagiri Clan (W.I.P) Tue May 10, 2016 9:32 am

Fukai

Fukai


D-rank
Hiya

History:

"This is largely do to the fact of simple breeding, members of the clan who are born with Charka elements lose the ability to unlock the Kekkei Genkai. Those who retain the Kekkei genkai also learn the art of Fūinjutsu. At a young age seals are place on various body parts of the clans members, much like tattoos. These seals are mixed with blood and charaka of both the elder of the clan and the member being 'tattooed'. This mixture makes the seals permanent meaning the caster only needs to "refill" the seals by placing the matching seal on whatever they wish to unseal later on. "

So since this is information that explains the KKG, could you please move it over to the KKG section.

KKG:

" then any other weapons, because of this they are given a C-Rank sword at creation"
Is this sword a set item or can the user apply for a free custom one?

" clan members can start off with three specialization instead of the normal two"
There isn't a set rank for starting off with a third spec, what rank will it be, or does it have to be trained from nothing?

Drawbacks:

Fix up dat list o' yours a lil fo' me.

"[*]Members can not start with ninjutsu."
So there's ambiguity here, are you saying that clansmen can't have ninjutsu at all, or they have to train it from nothing, or they can only take it as a 4th spec?

That range restriction on jutsu is an interesting and very strong drawback.

Jutsu:

Blade of Carnage

"user gains a plus one boost to their speed"
specify plus one tier

"Bukijutsu weapons will hit a rank harder"
specify that they do one rank higher damage

"At the first use the user becomes extremely drained and suffers a minus one to speed for five posts."
I'm assuming this happens when the jutsu ends, add that in.

Theres a problem with how much is packed into the jutsu. As a normal C rank would be considered 'full' with a stat increase and drawback. Tell you what, I'll give the weapon damage buff if you make the jutsu cost 30 chakra instead of the normal 20.

As an end note, the second usage drawback can't really be considered when balancing the jutsu because the drawback wont apply if you only use it the one time. However maybe you could buff the second usage duration to 5 posts and that would work.

Imitation Sword Technique

This jutsu learning thing is a HUGE deal, something like this would need to be featured in the KKG section and detailed in full.

Trackless Step

So I am having a little difficulty trying to grasp how breathing and footwork would make a 5m journey at normal speed 'difficult to percieve' and what that has to do with it being percieved as dangerous. I would like a greater description and explanation here.

Slash of the Heavenly Soaring Dragon

"Meanwhile, the range of the attack is increased "
I think you mean something to the effect of 'the movement creates a strike that had a larger reach than normal'. Could you please swap that in to make it a little clearer.

Again specify +1 tier to speed. I would like to mention that increasing your speed will not increase the speed of your sword swing. If you are looking for an increase in point to point movement, go for a reaction time buff.

"and their attack will gain an additional rank of power. "
You never specified what this attack is, is it a basic attack, or could it be a jutsu, or both? You could always have the jutsu do S rank damage which is basically cleaving an opponent in two anyways.

"with a second attack while the opponent is trapped. "
Ok so if you want to employ a trapping effect with the jutsu, I would like it to be able to be resisted (ignored) at S-2 strength, or an an appropriate A rank jutsu can be used to escape it.

"The second attack in this instants will always hit at a full rank lower then the first."
A full rank lower of what, damage?

I would like the 'dodged' term to only be applied to the 'missed or slight dodge' part so that there won't be contention on whether the jutsu was missed, dodged, slightly dodged, ect.


Phew! Make changes and come back for round two ^^'

3Amagiri Clan (W.I.P) Empty Re: Amagiri Clan (W.I.P) Tue May 10, 2016 10:39 am

Yaboku

Yaboku


D-rank
round two! Ding-ding (added a few things through ppls suggestions, hope that's ok)

KKG:
1- Moved required section to KKG as requested
2- (attemping) to make it a free clan sword (see new jutsu app)
3- Stated the 3rd spec is at rank E
4- Added new perk of "They also have trained their bodies to be one with their weapon, making it so their weapons are silent. If the clan member is attack from a blind spot, or their weapon isn't visible they receive a plus 1 to perception. (Or would the target get a minus 1)"

Drawbacks:
1- Added that Ninjutsu can only be a fourth spec
2- Buffed the distances to " (D-10m, C-15, B-20, A-30m, S- 35m, SS-50m) (I honestly knew this was a strong draw back, but I liked it because it ties into the history nicely, i you have a "positive" that help make this not so bad im all ears, i didn't wanna ask for to much for my first clan)

Jutsu: Blade of Carnage
1- Changed to one tier
2- changed to one rank higher in damage
3- added "After the jutsu ends.."
4-Added the extra charka cost.
5- Added the 2nd activation increased to 5 posts instead of

Jutsu: Imitation Sword Technique
Added the following to KKG
"Amagiri clan is well known for their art of Bukijutsu, and as such they are able to learn techniques they see by having a deep understanding of how the body moves while using Bukijutsu. With having the knowledge, understanding and deep roots of Bukijutsu this allows them to watch the movement of a person body in a fine detail, down to the slightest muscle movement, stance, and footwork and then mimic the very motion to replicate the attack they."

Jutsu: Trackless Step
Took this away to sub it in with something else.

Jutsu: Slash of the Heavenly Soaring Dragon
replaced with something new


4Amagiri Clan (W.I.P) Empty Re: Amagiri Clan (W.I.P) Sat May 14, 2016 2:59 am

Fukai

Fukai


D-rank
KKG:

"Do to the simple act of breeding, members of the clan who are born with chakra elements lose the ability to unlock the Kekkei Genkai"
So are you saying that people who join the clan have a choice between having the KKG benefits and the elements? Does this go for the jutsu too? If so then put that in there.

"These seals are mixed with blood and chakra of both the elder of the clan and the member being 'tattooed'. This mixture makes the seals permanent meaning the caster only needs to "refill" the seals"
If I'm reading this right, these seals are going to be conduits for your fuin jutsu and you want to be able to simply pay the chakra cost of the jutsu to activate it? If that's the case then add that in. I would also like the tattoos to be an item that you can apply for. Copy this or something like it into the KKG:
seal:
Maybe they start off with 1 free one and are able to app more. This is so that we have a record of where they are and what they can do without restricting the seals to a particular spot.

For the free weapon, I would like you to again include a spoilered item thing as above (the weapon one though).

Can you expand on the silent weapon part? What about if you are smashing your weapon down on metal or something, will it still be silent? Maybe the clan passively hold a minute amount of chakra in their weapon which suppresses sound.

"If the clan member is attack from a blind spot, or their weapon isn't visible they receive a plus 1 to perception. (Or would the target get a minus 1)"

buffing yourself and debuffing an enemy are two different things. Choose one one these. Also explain how, as it doesn't really make sense that there would be a change in perception (which effects everything, e.g. seeing through genjutsu) because they don't see your weapon.


Drawbacks:

You'll need many more active drawbacks to balance all the juicyness you are getting.

"Elemental Ninjutsu attacks are one rank lower in power when used"
What does 1 rank lower in power mean? Does it mean less damage, or the 2 rank lower when interacting with other jutsu?


Jutsu:

Bureido Sutiiru "Imitation Sword Technique"

Is this jutsu only meant for copying buki techniques?

I would like the same OOC method for apping the jutsu learned that is found in the sharingan copy wheel as follows:
"Once you can cite the technique having been seen the required number of times, you must link those times in your Jutsu registration where you App the copied technique. You are still required to pay the ryo cost for Jutsu learned with the Imitation Sword Technique, but you do not have to train them"

Unsealing Technique: Mind and Soul Reincarnation

Hmm so you are paying chakra to gain a subspec and a weapon that you don't have? Seems ok to me.

"(but does not take up a slot in the armory)"
I would like this removed, you've got to have a record of your stuff, and in your locker would be the right place to keep them.

Include something along the lines of: 'The rank of weapon that can be summoned can be equal to or less than the rank of this jutsu'

Amagiri Forging technique

Oh is this the free C rank sword you were talking about earlier in the app? If so, move this up to there and remove the 'technique' from the label. If it is meant to be a jutsu, then use the correct template.

Move that mission up to the kkg.

5Amagiri Clan (W.I.P) Empty Re: Amagiri Clan (W.I.P) Sat May 14, 2016 5:34 am

Yaboku

Yaboku


D-rank
KKG:
1- Added the following "Those who do not retain the Kekkei Genkai are born with elements but lose the benefits such as the can not use the Bureido Sutiiru, or the Unsealing Technique: Mind and Soul Reincarnation. They also lose the plus 1 to reaction, and perception. " (I believe that is what you meant.)

2- Added the following: These seals act as a conduits for the clans Fūinjutsu, this means the simply pay the chakra cost of unlocking the seal to activate it (E: 5 D: 10 C: 15 B: 20 A: 25 S: 30 SS: 40) The seal can be used for jutsu one rank higher and below. he clan member starts off with one free Blood Tattoo seal, all others must be apped as normal items or jutsu.
The seals also must be apped, and placed into the items locker using the following: (Template you asked for)
(again, I believe that is what you were asking) (question for this, is there a limit on how many seals can be used? For items or jutsu? Also is it possible to have "sets"  depending on the, mission, battle, ect, the user can decide to bring different things. I.E Seal 1- stores kunia for a mission. but then say they enters the chunnin can they it be seal 1- stores fireball jutsu? (Ovb at the start of the thread they would have to say "Set 1" or 2 and can only use what is apped ) (Or maybe have it under a "Clan locker") I just don't wanna have ppl (if anyone decided to join) to be stuck with a kunia on their palm when in a sense all they would need to do is "empty" the seal to be able to refill it so to speak"

3- Added spoiler as requested

4- "Silent weapon"- I decided to take this away

5- Added more detail to the debuff of ninjutsu "Elemental Ninjutsu attacks are one rank lower in damage when used by a clans member (this is excluding those in the seals.)"
6- Added the following draw backs:
[*]Members channel a small amount of chakra into their weapons allowing them to be silent, because of this the chakra pool is lowered by 20
[*]Members channel a small amount of chakra to maintain so many seals, because of this the chakra pool is lowered by 20
[*]Members can not take the following positives: Mighty, Elementalist, Jutsu Master and Quick Learner.
[*]Members must take Hesitant (Element) as a negative.
[*]Learning a element have a 10% increase to word count cost.
[*]Elemental jutsus cost an additional 10 charka when used.

Jutsu!

Bureido Sutiiru- Added what was asked

Unsealing Technique: Mind and Soul Reincarnation- Added and removed what was asked

Mission: Moved


Extra-
I changed some of the perks, to perhaps make the drawbacks easier to balance

Removed
1- plus 1 to reaction, and perception. Removed

Added-
1-Receive a 10% ryo reduction when apping for weapons, enchantments and reforging
2-Being of weapon mastery the clan members can use 1 rank higher than normal (A genin can use B-rank weapons and armor)

6Amagiri Clan (W.I.P) Empty Re: Amagiri Clan (W.I.P) Wed May 18, 2016 5:27 am

Ayakashi

Ayakashi


S-rank
KKG

You, dont really give a description of their kkg, like, at all, what is it? I can't tell, so i can't really judge on the things your saying with the fuuinjutsu things until i know what their kkg actually is. It needs an overall description in the KKG section, you kinda jump straight into peple who can't use it...

So, i assume that the blood seals are just, body seals that clan members can app individually as jutsu with their own effects using that template, please clarify this.

Drawbacks

are fine and plentiful

Jutsu

1/ Normal 15 for a C rank... Also, nope, +1 tier should be the limit of a C rank jutsu, you cannot 'also' get a +1 rank in power to a spec... normally reserved for A rank abilities (for increasing the power of jutsu). Increasing power of basic strikes by a rank would be B rank as a stand alone ability.

2/ This scales to SS, which typically you're not allowed, it's also rather infringing on copy wheel which the uchiha have. I get what you're trying to do here, but there are other ways you could go about it... Maybe a mimic technique, rather than a learning one.

3/ You can only have one scaling technique and one S rank technique in your clan, this is both the second scaling technique AND the second S rank technique. So, that needs to change. Pick one.

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