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1Yūryō Empty Yūryō Thu Nov 05, 2015 11:01 pm

Razan

Razan


D-rank
Symbol:
Yūryō Nishura_clan_symbol

Clan: Yūryō

Kekkei Genkai: Jinton - Dust Release    Yūryō Nature_Icon_Dust

Elements: Futon, Doton, Katon, Jinton

Specialization: Ninjutsu

Location: Iwagakure

Clan History: This clan was recently formed, and doesn't have a lot of history behind it. The art of the Jinton techniques was supposedly lost in history, with the death of the Third Tsuchikage. However, this clan survived. Without anyone knowing, not even the ANBU, DNA and scrolls containing the knowledge of the Dust Release techniques were stolen from the tomb of the Third Tsuchikage. It turned out that the Third Tsuchikage had ordered the knowledge to be wrote down, to preserve his legacy, and that of the Second Tsuchikage. Around the time of the theft, several pregnant mothers were kidnapped from their homes in Iwagakure, by a mysterious force of shinobi. In an unknown location, far from any form of civilisation, experimentation was done on the unborn children, usually resulting in the death of the mothers and the child. Only ten children survived out of the twenty three, however each one of these children had the acquired gene and capability to use the Dust Release. Each of these children were raised in a laboratory setting. Yet each of them showed little progress over the span of several months. One of the researchers concluded that their chakra had been thrown off balance by the horrors of their birth and cruel upbringing. Labelled a failed experiment, they were abandoned to die in the facility.

These children survived however, using the abandoned scrolls and the facility to grow and prosper. Under their own rule and tutelage, they managed to successfully use the ancient Jinton techniques. The ten children, five of each gender, ended up starting families together, resulting in the birth of the clan. The name of their clan meant Prime, obviously referring to their signature jutsu and the primal way in which they had been brought up. The families, now much older, made their way back to the city of the collective, pseudo ancestor. There the roots of the clan grew into the moderately sized clan we see today.

Kekkei Tōta Description: Members of the Yūryō clan are able to utilize jinton (dust release), an advanced element created through simultaneous use of doton, futon and katon. Most techniques of this nature initially form as a small three-dimensional object (e.g. a cube, a cone, etc.) composed of jinton nature chakra that forms between the user's hands. When the technique is released, the form is launched and proceeds to expand and engulf its target. Finally, the core detonates, attempting to dismantle anything inside the shape's boundaries on a molecular level, turning it to into dust. Hence the name: Dust Release.

The shape and the boundaries of the technique are formed from the combination of doton and futon natured chakra, while the disintegrating ability is achieved by precisely, on an atomic level, directing katon's destructive and explosive properties by using futon. It should be noted, however, that techniques below S rank cannot yet fully disintegrate other people, but may dismantle some of the molecules on the outside in the form of lacerations, causing the appropriate level of tissue damage.

Jinton techniques, being comprised of futon, doton and katon, struggle with colliding against raiton techniques, since the dismantling at a molecular level doesn't do much  against electricity, but excel at dealing with suiton techniques as they can turn them into thin air. Because of this, raiton techniques get +1 rank in effectiveness against jinton, while suiton ones get -1 rank in effectiveness.

One's Jinton rank depends on the ranks of its parent elements: futon, doton and katon. It automatically assumes the lowest rank of those three, so ranking up jinton requires ranking up all other elements, all of which start at D rank, and are all treated as secondary elements in terms of required word-counts for training.

Drawbacks:

  • Must take Hesitant(Specialization). It can’t be balanced.
  • Genjutsu used against them gets a +1 rank in effectiveness. Also, members can’t take the specialization.
  • Jinton isn’t something easily learn, and because of this, it takes member longer time to train it up. Increase word count for all elements training by 15%
  • Being mostly long to mid range fighters, members can’t handle close quarter combat, especially Bukijutsu. Because of this, Bukijutsu gets a +1 rank in effectiveness against them.



Members: Yūryō, Ashi

Kekkei Genkai Jutsu:
Minor Detachment Technique:

Heaven's Feel Technique:
Detachment of the Primitive World:

2Yūryō Empty Re: Yūryō Thu Nov 05, 2015 11:03 pm

Razan

Razan


D-rank
Hope it's okay that I finished(tried to anyway) the clan Ashi was working before he went inactive. I think I addressed most of the edits from the previous thread.

3Yūryō Empty Re: Yūryō Mon Nov 09, 2015 12:42 am

Ayakashi

Ayakashi


S-rank
Okay Razan, disclaimer first:

As both a canon clan, AND an advanced release clan AND as a banned element, it should go without saying that I am going to be very hard on this clan and it is going to need to be of impeccable quality to be approved.

That being said, lets do this!

General:
I would like a longer clan history, little things like traditions, philosophies etc would add a great amount to the clan.

KKG:
This is actually rather good, you describe how the element is formed very well and describe its limitations. Jintons weakness to Raiton should be in the drawbacks~

Drawbacks:

Please remove the genjutsu thing, i don't think its needed, also, 20% should be the amount for word increase, working in 5%'s becomes a weight on the mods.

Jutsu:

As there are only 2 canon jutsu for this clan, if it would not be too much trouble i would like BOTH of them to be present in this clan.

1/ I feel like the damage of this technique doesn't quite make sense... why would there only be a few deep lacerations for something that you're stuck in the middle of? My suggestion would be to lower the depth to something like, 1/8th of an inch, but i would just say that the lacerations occur rapidly and sporadically over all the area within the jutsu. That goes for all other low ranking techniques of Jinton.
2/ im not comfortable with this line "Moving at 40m/s the three dimensional shape expands with the practitioner in the center, reaching full size almost immediately, which is up to 35m in any direction" Meaning that without speed, it expands to 35m in diameter. I'd like that to just be included in the speed, or, lower the speed to keep the instant expansion.
3/ May only have one S rank technique on the clan, sorry. So either reduce the defense barrier to A rank or remove this, (though i would prefer you keep this as it's canon.) The stats on the technique look fine, i would like it to be able to be broken from the inside though, even if it requires 2 S rank techniques. (one, then another to shatter through.)

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