'One fourth cup of sugar, two teaspoons of butter...' the figure's eyes softened, swaying from side to side as it walked. 'Sweetness multiplied by two when mixture is heated near boiling point. Boiling point signifies failure as the mixture begins the solidification process, resulting in caramelization.' His eyes slowly scanned the desert's horizon, narrowing as the sandy wind blew past. 'Caramel is not advised nor required. Thus, it's an extra ingredient or step that is involved. Close to boiling point, cut heat and add the eggs and vanilla pod to the heated mixture.' The figure stopped walking as he stood on top of a sand dune. 'Finally, add the rest of the now chilled mixture A to mixture B to form compound C. Chill for more hours before slicing in cubes, creating flavorful vanilla pudding squares.' As the figure scanned the desert, he spotted Sunagakure in the distance. 'I'm not returning just yet... I need to find inspiration...' he turned, spotting an oasis nearby. '...Some water will do.' And with that, the cloaked figure began to make it's way towards the oasis.

With the once covered head now exposed, the color silver shined brightly. The desert sun beamed down onto silver hair, nearly blinding anyone who sees it in the distance. Revealed to be a man, he began to remove his leather gloves, wiping his hands onto his pants before dipping them into the water. 'Ah, a cooling sensation from the water... So refreshing that I almost don't need to take a drink.' He sighed, closing his eyes as he felt a light sting from them being tired. 'If only that were true...' Reopening his eyes, he took in a handful of water into his mouth. He swished it around his mouth for a moment before swallowing it slowly. 'Gritty... But what do you expect from a pond surrounded by sand?' He took in another handful of water, drinking it just as slow as he did before. 'Slowly... Drinking fast results in ill feelings. Slow intake...'

Finally having his fill of water, he splashed some of it across his face to cool himself down. The once hot wind felt like a cool arctic breeze to him now, the man feeling more refreshed than he had felt when leaving the village. 'Now, to find inspiration for food.' He stretched for a moment, looking over to his left towards the village. 'It's been years since I walked into the village.' The man yawned, rubbing his mouth to clean away the excess water. 'The documents required for my apprehension is not present.' He smiled, shaking his head for a bit. 'After all this time, I still feel there is something to worry about. It's funny...' Standing, the man began to put back on his gloves, the water slowly dripping down the side of his face. 'The murder was when I was a child, and I'm sure I'm presumed dead... there-' He quickly turned his head as he heard something hit the ground. A coconut that had fallen from the tree... 'There is nothing to worry about...'

As the man began to walk over to the fruit, he began to analyze it. 'Nut covered in brown hairs. I am fully aware the inside of the fruit is desired. The sweet liquid is common knowledge. However, what of the outside? The hairs... The outer shell as well... I've never tried the interior flesh of it either...' He stood over the coconut, kneeling down to twist and turn it. He created a bigger crater by doing this, the man's eyes narrowing. Curiously, the man plucked a patch of hairs and began to chew on them. He paused before checking off a piece of the hard exterior of the fruit, devouring that as well. 'Exterior hairs, undesirable. Exterior shell, undesirable. Lacking flavor...but perhaps if I make it into a paste...' The man began to rub his chin, staring curiously at the coconut. 'Yes, if I were to make a salty or sugary base mixture and mix it with such a bland component, perhaps I wouldn't have to risk loss of flavor! Hmm...' The man smiled, now picking up the coconut. 'Feeling for vulnerable spot.' With that, the man began to squeeze tightly  around different spots of the coconut. His fingers gave way in a certain spot, the man grinned. 'Soft spot found. Beginning incision.' He reached to his right, grabbing at...air. 'I...am not in my kitchen...' he sighed, thinking he was close to the knife drawer.

'Perhaps there's something around here I can substitute for a knife? Maybe a- ...Ah!' The man smiled, grabbing at a blunt stick on the ground. He made a fist, sharpening the stick with one of his gloved studs, and soon punctured the coconut in the soft vulnerable spot. The fruit gave way, the man prying it open with ease, careful not to waste the juices inside. 'Taste test one.' He lowered his head to the now opened coconut, sipping the juice slowly. As the wind blew, he smacked his lips slowly, nodding with each passing second. 'Sweet, as I imagined. But what of the inside?' He lowered his head to bite into the white interior of the coconut, his eyes widening as he began to chew. 'Softer than I imagined... I could have sworn it'd be the texture of... hard candy of some sort. No, it's surprising much softer than I imagined...' The man nodded, inhaling slowly and exhaling, the flavor's scents and taste being magnified by the winds. 'If mixed with sugar and boiled into a caramel syrup texture, a little bit of starch here, then perhaps it'd serve me as a sweetened sauce of sorts.' With that, he stood, stretching once more and smiling. "Sweet coconut sauce, accompanied with a typically salty food. This idea is most-..."

The man was cut off as he heard trotting coming to a stop, jingling being heard. He turned to see a bandwagon of some kind stopping near him, a large man hopping off one of the two horses. He began to walk over to the cloaked man, smiling. "Aku Uchiha," he began, holding up a wanted poster, "I've come for your head." The man, apparently named Aku, smiled as he put the coconut down on the ground. "My head? ...I'm afraid I don't understand. Perhaps there's been some misunderstanding." The fat man chuckled, shaking his head. "No, ain't no misunderstanding here." He walked closer to the cloaked man, stopping about a meter away from him. "You match the description. Silver hair, blue eyes that glow, and lookin' like a pale ghost." Aku chuckled, shaking his head. "Well, for starters, I can tell you that that wanted poster is a fraud." He slowly pointed at himself, his face looking like that of an innocent man's. "My name is Kula, Kula Lamdem if you want the full name." Aku chuckled, smiling to the man. "Have you ever seen a Uchiha with silver hair like this? Or perhaps with blue eyes like mine? My guess would be no." The man slowly lowered his head to Aku's statements, but soon shook his head. "Well that don't matter. Your description is exactly what we're lookin' for." The large man stared at the slowly sighing Aku. "And what are the charges? The reason you're coming to kill me?" The large man stared before checking the wanted statement. "For the abduction of missing people from different villages. You're involved in those little kidnapping stunts." Aku looked off to the distance, smiling. "Well, as amusing as all of this is, I must ask you to take your business elsewhere. I am not the one you seek." He slowly reached inside his cloak for something as he continued speaking. "Or must you take a look at my legal documents?"

The large man was reading the documents, looking at it with large eyes. "A stamp from the Kazekage, and the administration team themselves. A picture taken, and a full background of where I come from and who I am born from. My mother and father are deceased from an illness, and thus, I was an orphan. I come from the Lamdem orphanage about a few miles between here and Konoha, thus why I have the last name... 'Lamdem', you see?" Aku eyed the man who stared at him in disbelief. "Do you require a deeper explanation for that pitiful thing you call a brain, or are you sold?" The two stared at each other, one of them sweating more than the other. Slowly, the large man began to hand the cloaked man his papers. As Aku was about to reach for them, the man tore them up in anger. "...Well, luckily those are just copies. If you have no other business with me, I suggest you leave me be." Aku chuckled, staring at the now shouting man. The silver haired man waited for the large man to stop before responding. "Better luck next time, I suppose." Aku shrugged with a smile, only to frown shortly after as the large man drew a weapon. "Well, if you're the wrong person, you don't mind me just ...robbin' ya of your stuff, do you?" The two were silent, the large man gesturing with his sword. "Hand over all your things, and I won't kill you where you stand." The false smile Aku had been putting on had faded completely, his eyes glaring at the man. "Are you a fan of sculpting?" Aku asked, the man tilting his head. "What? Sculpting?" the man asked, two more people slowly exiting the bandwagon with weapons drawn. "Yes, sculpting. You see, I'm an artist of some kind-"  "I don't give a damn what you want, I want your stuff!" Aku continued speaking, not being interrupted by the man's outburst. "And with that, comes the need to find inspiration."  "I'll show you inspiration! Give me all you-"  "...where it comes from doesn't matter. In fact, I was on the hunt for it before you rudely interrupted..."  "I ain't playin' around! Give me what you got!"  "...fact, I can finally say," Aku finally stopped rambling, staring at the man with a genuine smile, "I've found my inspiration for today."

Frustrated, the man began to charge towards Aku, swinging his sword horizontally across with his right hand. 'The skeletal build of the human body dictates that, accompanied by physical capabilities, the weapon can only be stretched so far. Thus, if I leap this way...' Aku casually skipped, pushing off his heel with enough force to 'flow' with the sword's direction. The man, missing his target, looked over to his direction. 'Body fat is high. Twisting of the abdomen and sides cannot allow extended reach.' Aku stared at the man turned to face him. 'Six...Seven...Eight-' The sword was brought down in a vertical slashing motion, Aku casually hopping to the right. 'Eight seconds to turn and counter. Physical ability, lacking. Difficulty is noted to be easy.' "Stand still you little...!!" The man shouted, attempting to stab the cloaked man, who simply leaned out the way. With the attack dodged, the man pushed off the sands with the front part of his foot, his fingers gripping the man's neck. He began to move, slowly twisting the flesh as he continued his grip. 'Stand in this position. Diagonal from his side and back, opposite to that of the sword. Sword cannot reach, thus, I am in the safe spot.' The man smiled, watching as the fat man's face grew red. 'Twisting of the veins and use of neck fat as a rope will cause suffocation. Then-' Aku heard someone running over to him, a woman with a long sword drawn. 'Incoming foreign fighter.' He smiled, leaning to the side, enough to make it seem like he hadn't moved at all due to the flowing cloak. The sword stabbed the cloak, missing Aku's body. Of course, the woman screamed in victory, thinking she had stabbed the man. However, the fat man was wiggling and gargling in pain. 'Stab wound, location near liver. Bleeding and pain brings upon panic, and panic brings panting. The need to breathe accompanied by the lack of oxygen brings upon quicker suffocation.' The woman continued to cheer in victory, the others cheering with her, until the man was dropped from Aku's clutched.

"An interesting concept of victory you have." Aku spoke, trying his best not to laugh while speaking. The woman looked at him with a perplexed look, Aku pushing the stabbing blade upwards to both create a larger wound and to free it from both the man's side and her hands. As the blade spun, the man's blood flew, some flying into one of her eyes. In a panic, the woman began attempting to wipe away the blood. 'It's as thick as paint... It'll take more than just a few wipes to get it off. This litte distraction time is all I need for...' His eyes focused on the rotating blade, the sole of his boot stepping on the blunt side of the blade. He forced his foot towards the woman's direction, her own sword being pushed into her torso area as the blunt handle crashed against her head. She was pushed to the ground, Aku's foot pressing harder on the blade as it began to slice her in half completely. 'Probability and timing is the ultimate key to culinary.' The man looked over to the bandwagon, seeing one more person present, a man with a crossbow. His hand was shaky as a he fire the terribly off course arrow. Leaving the two corpses, he began to stroll over to the frightened man, leaning and bobbing out of the way of each arrow that was a lucky shot. He grabbed one that was close to hitting him, twirling it in his hand as he now stood in front of the man.

He pulled the crossbow's trigger in a panic, Aku smiling. "The usual amount of bolts fit for a crossbow is about twelve to sixteen, more if you're a licensed mercenary." The man raised the arrow to stare curiously at the wood. "I suppose because of the sleek wood work, and the laminated finish, theses arrows aren't cheap.  To buy more than the usual amount of these kinds would be ludicrous." Aku looked back at the man with a frown. "You do not possess more than the usual amount, thus, I can guess two things about you and your friends." The man with the crossbow slowly backed away, staring at the man in horror. "One, you're not hired official mercenaries of any kind, just headhunters trying to get by, or two," Aku slowly tilted his head, "to add onto guess A, you clearly have no clue what you are doing." The man looked down at the arrow, seeing his reflection in the polished arrow heads. "Just a fun fact." The man suddenly broke into a sprint, Aku raising the arrow that rested above and in between the middle and index finger. He reeled his arm back, flexing his fingers before thrusting both forward simultaneously. 'The force from the arm applied with the index finger multiplies the original travel velocity to match that of a crossbow. In other words,' the arrow lodged itself into the back of the man's neck, just below his skull. '...bullseye. Support for mental activity, disabled.' Aku watched as the man collapsed to the ground, the cloaked man smiling before looking down at his stabbed cloak. 'Just a bit of tailoring work... Well sew it up, and then we'll get to work on that sweet coconut sauce.' The man then looked at the corpses around him, the last thing he spotted being the alive horses. 'However, I have an itch to scratch... An artistic itch...'

Aku was dragging the crossbow man's body across the sands. With the town piece of the cloak, he had soaked it and some of the sand, creating a makeshift bandage to slow the bleeding. The man was beyond help, however Aku wanted to keep the blood plentiful. He applied the bandage to stop the wound from bleeding as fast as it was, drops of blood dripping onto the ground as he continued to drag him. 'You...will go here.' Aku nodded, undressing the man and ripping off the bandage. The wound had hardened, a large scab now over it. He ripped it off, blood quickly rising to the open surface and pouring down the back of his neck. 'Yes, lay like this...' Aku smiled, placing the man on the side of the clear oasis. The blood tinted the water to create a pale pink pool, the crossbow man leaning on the 'walls' of the oasis. 'Yes, now for the second person...' Aku turned to the suffocated man, stripping him as well and placing him inside the oasis. 'Hold on...' The man stared at the larger man's chest slowly rising and falling. '...Still alive... No matter... We'll fix that later.' He smiled as he adjusted the man's position, the larger man being next to the crossbow guy. He then turned over to the woman nearly sliced in half, stripping her like the others, and placing her inside the water on the other side of the larger man. 'Yes, yes, I'll call this... 'Thicker Than Water' ...That seems fair.' Aku eyed the scene before him, only to sigh. 'But for a piece of art classified as horror, the sun shiny weather is counterproductive. That, and the water isn't red enough...' He crossed his arms, staring. 'Their blood has been spilled into the sand, not enough to create the dark tint I want...' The sound of the horses snorting flicking their manes caused Aku to slowly turn in their direction. 'Perhaps I can use you two for the thickener...' He then turned back to the pale pink liquid that was the oasis. '...To apply a flavorful compound to a much larger bland base... This will multiply the quantity of the flavor available, but half the intensity... If I apply culinary to this, then...' The man smiled to the horses, grabbing hold of the arrow from before.

Loud whining was heard from the horses along with tearing, Aku finally wiping his forehead free of sweat...and blood. 'A knife would have worked better, but alas...' he smiled. He dragged one of the horses' corpse over to the oasis' rock, watching the thick fluids trickle from the chest into the water. He did the same thing for the other side with the other horse. 'Perhaps an increase in flow is in order...' he sighed, carving another wound, this time on the front of the neck. A larger flow of red was created, Aku smiling as the pale pink water turned into a dark red. 'Yes, the color is here, but the texture...' He sighed, shaking his head. 'It's too much of a liquid... If only I had a large amount of flour- ...Or sand...!'

In the middle of mixing the oasis with the sand, he paused to catch his breath. 'The thickness of syrup... The color of blood... I like this so far-' He turned, hearing someone call out his name. A little girl with a bag of blueberries, the bag slowly dropping to the sand. "W-what are you doing?!" Aku eyed the girl with, not using any effort to hide the bloody arrow. "W-what...? Why-" The arrow was throw to the girl's neck, lodging itself in with ease. Her shaking hands slowly rose to the punctured neck, her eyes welling up with tears. "Merie, it's never wise you know," Aku spoke, the girl collapsing to the ground, "interrupting an artist while he's working... You might be stuck listening to their blabbering about how it's a work of art and this and that..." The girl opened her mouth, her eyes widened. Her body relaxed as her eyes appeared to be void of life. "You may even become a part of their piece..." Aku smiled to the fresh corpse, repeating the process he had done for the previous bodies. 'We'll need more sand to even out the new blood;s thickness... Then again, we don't want any unrealistic physics... We'll place you...here.' Aku placed the girl's body in front of the large man's, moving his large hands onto her slender shoulders. 'A mother and father, going to the pool with their daughter. The uncle is there as well...' Aku smiled, but then frowned at the man's head looking upwards. 'It's not really a heartwarming moment if there is no sign of affection. How about...' Aku crouched near the large man, gripping his blubbery neck. With a strong twist and the sound of snapping bones, the larger man's head slowly leaned in the direction of the 'mother's face. 'There, now that's wonderful. The father and mo-' ... The man sighed, turning the nearly split corpse to the man's direction. 'The father and mother sharing a look of affection to each other... The uncle looks at the daughter with happiness, amazed at how much she has grown over the years. The daughter...is like any other kid, unaware of older people's ordeals.'

The feeling of water touching his forehead snapped him out of his artistic critique mode. He looked up, seeing clouds forming about. 'Rain in the desert? ...Amazing.' He took this moment to back away from the work of art he had created, the horse corpses on each end of the pool of what was once water, and the 'family' sharing a happy moment with each other. The dark clouds overhead simply added the ominous feeling to this disturbing piece of 'art', Aku smiling at what he had created. 'As much as I enjoy this piece,' he sighed, shaking his head, 'it is not the Infinivision I seek. I have a feeling I'll grow tired of looking at it.' He then began to head for the village, but not before kneeling down to grab the coconut. 'A work of art that will never cause me to grow tired... Something I'd want to stare at forever... This is the piece I'm after.' And with that thought being said, the man began his journey back to the village, blissfully unaware of the amount of blood on his body. People would stare and question it, Aku easily making up a story about bandits and forged wanted posters. He nodded to the now alerted men and women of Sunagakure, walking into his home and sitting in a chair. He took a moment to reflect on the art a few miles from the village, smiling. 'Though it isn't what I'm looking for, I will always remember every single piece of art I do...' he nodded, studying the coconut. He then frowned, noticing all of the milk had either evaporated or ran out of it. '...A shame...' he sighed, lowering his head in disappointment. 'We'll try again later with a new coconut, I suppose... After a bath, and dinner.' On the way to the bathroom Aku stopped. "He called me by my real name... How did he- ...?" The man went silent, continuing with his course of action. To get clean and enjoy a meal.


[WC: 3951]

Strength: E -> D 750/750
Speed: E -> D 750/750
Endurance: E -> D 750/750
Perception: E -> D 750/750
Reaction: E -> D 750/750