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1Seiuchi Clan [Done] Empty Seiuchi Clan [Done] Sat Jul 19, 2014 4:07 am

Erufuun

Erufuun


D-rank
Symbol: Seiuchi Clan [Done] 416QE9mlpjL._SS400_


Clan: Seiuchi

Kekkei Genkai: Skunk Spirit, Curse of Greed

Elements: Fuuton (Must be main element)

Specialization: Taijutsu

Location: Scattered

Clan History:
Spoiler:

Kekkei Genkai Description:

Skunk Spirit:
Spoiler:


Natami no Butsuyoku [Curse of Greed]
Spoiler:

Drawbacks: The curse also limits the hosts ability to preform jutsu preventing them from being able to use genjutsu or the fuinjutsu that the clan was originally founded with. While in skunk form or using any techniques that they clan has named stink release that effect their own body the host becomes easier to track.

Members: None

Kekkei Genkai Jutsu:
Spoiler:

Clan Items:
Spoiler:



Last edited by Erufuun on Tue Jul 22, 2014 6:24 pm; edited 4 times in total

2Seiuchi Clan [Done] Empty Re: Seiuchi Clan [Done] Mon Jul 21, 2014 1:11 pm

Bokuden

Bokuden


D-rank
Stink release is not an element.

3Seiuchi Clan [Done] Empty Re: Seiuchi Clan [Done] Mon Jul 21, 2014 7:35 pm

Erufuun

Erufuun


D-rank
The clan now uses fuuton instead of stink release since it is just bad smelling air after all.

4Seiuchi Clan [Done] Empty Re: Seiuchi Clan [Done] Tue Jul 22, 2014 1:17 pm

Mikage

Mikage


D-rank
KKG:

- Remove the mention of poison, as it is not something that is allowed on the site yet.

- Being easier to track should be something that's placed in the drawbacks and specified more clearly - ie. giving tracking techniques a +1 against them

Curse of Greed:

- First of all, I want this herbal beverage thing to be written up as an item for this clan, so that people actually know what to app, and how to access it in order to lessen the effects of the curse mark. Use the Item template provided in the Item Guidelines.

- For the drawback of Stage One, are you certain you want a one rank decrease in speed? Normally it's only a -1 tier to a stat - our stat system is separated into ranks, while each rank is split into tiers.

- At Stage Two, specify that the +1 to Strength & Endurance is a +1 tier, not +1 rank - same with the drawback of -1 speed.


Seiuchi Clan wrote:As well as having the scent around them almost like an aura they also can spray it in the form of a horrible smelling oil that will stain clothes and mixing with the oils in the skin not removing itself from the effected area for 2 posts. However this smell is less potent only causing vomiting and dizziness to those that are around the target the target that is sprayed feeling the same effects as well.



I'd like that ^ to be restricted to just the target feeling the effects, as opposed to a small area around the target as well.

- With the forced Special Characteristics, either make those something that a person must start with, or simply SCs that are stacked on top of what the user already has. It doesn't make sense for people to replace their current SCs, as things like "Blind" or "Deaf" cannot be replaced.

- The capabilities of the user's claws need to be specified more - particularly in terms of cutting depth (see Jutsu Guidelines for damage).

Drawbacks:


Seiuchi Clan wrote:The curse also limits the hosts ability to prefer jutsu preventing them from being able to use genjutsu or the fuinjutsu that the clan was originally founded with.


This is worded a bit awkwardly. If this is going to be a drawback, then they need to be completely incapable of having / learning those specializations.

5Seiuchi Clan [Done] Empty Re: Seiuchi Clan [Done] Tue Jul 22, 2014 6:25 pm

Erufuun

Erufuun


D-rank
I have removed and edited like you asked me to and i added the item for the clan.

6Seiuchi Clan [Done] Empty Re: Seiuchi Clan [Done] Sun Jul 27, 2014 3:04 pm

Bokuden

Bokuden


D-rank
Also putting this out there for the clan's lore. I'm not sure if you intend this skunk spirit to be an actual, supernatural spirit, but if so you'll have to rewrite it as something else. We don't allow things that are so high fantasy into the sagaverse.

7Seiuchi Clan [Done] Empty Re: Seiuchi Clan [Done] Sun Jul 27, 2014 4:43 pm

Erufuun

Erufuun


D-rank
No it's just because of the effects of the curse itself that the hosts believe they are infused with the spirit of a skunk.

8Seiuchi Clan [Done] Empty Re: Seiuchi Clan [Done] Mon Jul 28, 2014 10:45 pm

Erufuun

Erufuun


D-rank
Bump.

9Seiuchi Clan [Done] Empty Re: Seiuchi Clan [Done] Wed Jul 30, 2014 8:37 pm

Bokuden

Bokuden


D-rank
I'm so sorry for the wait. I've been a little bit preoccupied lately. Let's get to business now though.

If there is no actual spirit and it is just a belief, I'd like you to word it so that the app more accurately reflects that. As of now it sounds very much like there is an actual spirit involved.

I'd like them being easier to track due to their smell quantified. It needs to be something measurable. Everything needs to be quantified really.

The immediate vomitting I'm a bit iffy on. Probably shouldn't be instant, especially shinobi of equal rank and strong willed should probably be able to resist it. What you could do is give a proximity to the user where the odor is most potent and have the effects start out as discomfort and then grow as they spend multiple posts within that range.

I'm confused about the transformation stages and these herbs that put it off. How does this play out in a thread?


For the jutsu, what is "sustained" as far as duration goes? And how bad of an irritation are we talking? At E-Rank the effects of the jutsu will be mostly cosmetic, not really functional.


You'll probably need to add drawbacks depending on how this looks after edits.

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