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1Tokage Clan Empty Tokage Clan Sat Mar 01, 2014 9:02 pm

Wolfgang

Wolfgang


D-rank
Symbol:Tokage Clan Lizard-tattoo-4


Clan: Tokage

Kekkei Genkai: Tokage Wo Mohou Shimmasu

Elements: Any

Specialization: Taijutsu and Seijutsu or(Seijutsu must be Primary)

Location: Grass Village (Scattered)

Clan History: This clans history draws back to the ancient days of Konoha, the founders of the clan; Kika, Sakura, and Khoja were originally from the village hidden in the Leaf, all of these people always hated the Inuzuka clan, for their extreme talent in Seijutsu and were always the rival of the dog clan.
One day the three friends were beaten once again by the dog users and vowed to find a way to match the power and speed of the ninja.
The friends fled the village around 150 years ago, fleeing to the village hidden in the grass, looking for something to help their clan become strong.
The three founders started looking at the local animals, they noticed that the Kusagakure Monitors (Komodo Moniters) and the Gila Monsters were very powerful in the wild, and found the animal that they would adopt.
The clan started taking the lizards to pet, domesticating them to the clan and making a inseparable link with them, each new clan member was given a baby lizard when they became 2 years old and always kept it with them.

Kekkei Genkai Description: All members of this clan receive a D – rank Seijutsu pet for free on upon making their character. This animal must be either a Komodo Dragon or Gila monster. Members of the clan have adapted very sensitive tongues and when it's out of their mouths acts as a sensory ability -2 Ranks of the user – min. of E-rank. When out the clansmen can 'taste' people within 4m of themselves – even remember an individual by their unique taste. This is do because of their lizard like tongues, that taste minute air particles in the air.

All members of this clan Have dark Green blood

The users body saves energy when doing things due to the fact that their bodies dont waste energy on heating itself, and as thus they only need to eat once every two weeks without feeling hungry, and they also only need to drink water once every two weeks. Also any jutsu that look for heat in any way dont work on the one with this trait.(D-B rank Heat Sensory)

Members of this clan have two inch long claws on their hands an feet that replace their nails, these claws can cause 1-1.5 inch deep cuts and when they meet weapons react as if they are -1 rank of the user (Min D) weapons.(The Claws Rank up with the user to Minus 1 of their rank)(I.E a Jounins claws would act as a B rank weapon when clashing with other weapons)

Drawbacks: Members of the Tokage clan rely on their Lizards in battle and vice versa, should their combat pet or themselves be sealed, killed, stunned or otherwise incapacitated and unable to be used in combat for a round, their Seijutsu partner receives -2 Tiers to their reaction speeds, the same goes if the partner dies, though after the thread the -2 goes away, though they also have to buy a new one, they are still able to do Seijutsu tech. that do not need a partner.
The Members of this Clan Have the Negative Trait~Cold Blooded
Cold Blooded:

“Tokage members strong sense of taste and the ability to taste the air gives them a weakness against food or taste based jutsu(IE the C.I.A). Any jutsu that relies on taste or food gains a +1 against the members of the clan.

All Non Seijutsu jutsu that members of this clan learn require 50% more WC then normal.


All Members of this clan must take Pharmacophobia due to their odd body structure and lizard like bodies, this is taken without balancing with a Positive. (Organs are more like Lizards and Dna is half Lizard, thus it is hard to do Surgery as if they were normal human)
Members: N/A

Kekkei Genkai Jutsu:
Jutsu:

Jutsu:
Jutsu:

Jutsu:



Last edited by Wolfgang on Wed Apr 30, 2014 7:03 pm; edited 4 times in total

2Tokage Clan Empty Re: Tokage Clan Sun Mar 02, 2014 10:49 am

Daremo




S-rank

All of the members of this clan recieve a D rank Seijutsu (Must be Combat) pet for free on making their character, this animal must be either a Kusgakure Moniter (Komodo Dragon) or a Gila Monster.
Members of this clan have adapted very sensitive toughs, and when the tongue is out of their mouth it acts as a sensory ability of -2 ranks of the users rank (Min E rank) they can taste people within 4m of themselves, they can even remember individual tastes of people so they can remember people, they do this because their Tongues are like lizards tongues, and can taste the radiance in the air, being able to tell if a person is near by the taste in the air, and etc.

Ugh. I kind of rewrote your KG Description(view below) because yours has numerous of spelling mistakes, repetitive words, etc. Besides that I don't see anything wrong with the description(You can use my version if you want or not).

All members of this clan receive a D – rank Seijutsu pet for free on upon making their character. This animal must be either a Komodo Dragon or Gila monster. Members of the clan have adapted very sensitive tongues and when it's out of their mouths acts as a sensory ability -2 ranks of the user – min. of E-rank. When out the clansmen can 'taste' people within 4m of themselves – even remember an individual by their unique taste. This is do because of their lizard like tongues, that taste minute air particles in the air.


Name: Cold Blooded
Type: Positive
Description: The users body saves energy when doing things due to the fact that their bodies dont waste energy on heating itself, and as thus they only need to eat once every two weeks without feeling hungry, and they also only need to drink water once every two weeks. Also any jutsu that look for heat in any way don't work on the one with this trait.
I'm fine with everything except the last part “Any jutsu that look for heat in anyway don't work on the one with this trait.” either remove it entirely or scaled down some.


Members of this clan have two inch long claws on their hands an feet that replace their nails, these claws can cause 1-1.5 inch deep cuts and when they meet weapons react as if they are -1 rank of the user (Min D) weapons.
So they react as a -1 when in blocking a weapon? That part is kind of confusing. Do the claws rank up with the user?


Members of the Tokage clan rely on their Lizards in battle and vice versa, should their combat pet or themselves be sealed, killed, stunned or otherwise incapacitated and unable to be used in combat for a round, their Seijutsu partner receives -2 to their reaction speeds.

Okay. If I'm reading this write the Seijutsu partner receive a -2 to their reaction time if either the Tokage member or their pet gets incapacitated? Now I'm amusing that 'Seijutsu partner' is referring to either the Tokage member or their pet? The sentence structure is kind of confusing to me. . .but meh. Will the Tokage member be unable to use Seijutsu techniques, if their pet is incapacitated? What happens if the pet gets killed? Do they app & pay for another one? Expand on this negative more.


Name: Cold Blooded
Type: Negative
Description: The user doesn't have the ability to generate their own heat in their body, and as such when they are in cold climates(Mist Village, Land of Snow, etc.) they take -1 rank to spend during their time in these places.

This should also include jutsus(Hyoton).


Tokage members strong sense of taste and the ability to taste the air gives them a weakness against any food based or taste based jutsu (IE the C.I.A) (All these jutsu gain +1 against the members of these clan)
“Tokage members strong sense of taste and the ability to taste the air gives them a weakness against food or taste based jutsu(IE the C.I.A). Any jutsu that relies on taste or food gains a +1 against the members of the clan.

The above re-write is an example of what the drawback should look like. The only problem I had with this drawback was it's wording. You can use my version or not. Just reword it more properly.


All members of this clan have dark blue blood.
This is just flavor either remove it or put it in the KG description. It should be noted not many reptiles have blue blood. Most is either red or green. The “Horseshoe” crab is the commonly known animal with blue blood.


All Members of this clan must take Pharmacophobia due to their odd body structure and lizard like bodies, this is taken without balancing with a Positive.
This is me nitpicking. Lizard – like bodies? Excluding their tongues, which I assume is either forked or not, what other aspects about them are lizard like?

Lizard Art: Rushing Claw Palm:: Increase the cool down by 1

Lizard Art: Extreme Strike Barrage:: Please state that the attacks are basic strikes.

Man – Reptilian Clone :: Make the cool down “Double the Duration.”

Reptilian Scaling :: Make cool down “Double Duration”.

3Tokage Clan Empty Re: Tokage Clan Sun Mar 02, 2014 11:53 am

Wolfgang

Wolfgang


D-rank
Fixed :)

4Tokage Clan Empty Re: Tokage Clan Sun Mar 02, 2014 12:20 pm

Daremo




S-rank
Name: Cold Blooded
Type: Positive
Description: The users body saves energy when doing things due to the fact that their bodies dont waste energy on heating itself, and as thus they only need to eat once every two weeks without feeling hungry, and they also only need to drink water once every two weeks. Also any jutsu that look for heat in any way don't work on the one with this trait.

This was a mistake on my part. Custom Positive Traits are no longer applicable for clans. The description of this given trait can easily be apart of the KG, without having to be a trait.

5Tokage Clan Empty Re: Tokage Clan Sun Mar 02, 2014 12:30 pm

Wolfgang

Wolfgang


D-rank
Made it a par tof the Kkg

6Tokage Clan Empty Re: Tokage Clan Sun Mar 02, 2014 4:48 pm

Daremo




S-rank
Approved.

7Tokage Clan Empty Re: Tokage Clan Tue Apr 29, 2014 12:22 pm

Bokuden

Bokuden


D-rank
Up for Update~

The -2 to reaction time in your drawbacks should be worded as a -2 tiers rather than a -2 rank due to the updated guidelines.

Also with the coldblooded characteristic, it needs to specify exactly what areas it takes effect in. Land of Snow doesn't exist on Saga currently and if you aren't specific there is nothing stopping somebody from mentioning that it is cold at the beginning of the thread and forcing the drawback onto you.

8Tokage Clan Empty Re: Tokage Clan Tue Apr 29, 2014 1:10 pm

Keiko

Keiko


D-rank
In addition to the changes requested above … here is your jutsu review.

Lizard Art: Rushing Claw Palm: Refer to the jutsu rules for the new speeds, damages, and ranges and edit accordingly.

Lizard Art: Extreme Strike Barrage: Stat increases should not be used for a single technique only - it's normally used as supplementary jutsu to boost the overall stat of the user. Either give these a jutsu speed, or remove it entirely.

Man-Reptilian Clone:

Tokage Clan wrote:The chakra cost is used by the person/ pet who is changing their shape.

Is this saying that the 15 + maintenance chakra cost can be used by the person / pet in order to transform and maintain their transformed state, or is it saying that they can use that chakra for other abilities? If it's the first, then it's fine as it is. If it's the second, change it to the first; the chakra cost should simply be what is used to maintain this transformation . I'm also thinking that while in this transformed state … they shouldn't be able to use anything but combo techniques that would require this technique to be active.

Reptilian Scaling: Edit the stat buffs/debuffs according to the new jutsu rules.

9Tokage Clan Empty Re: Tokage Clan Tue Apr 29, 2014 2:47 pm

Wolfgang

Wolfgang


D-rank
It is the first thing that you said, and i fied everything else :)

10Tokage Clan Empty Re: Tokage Clan Tue Apr 29, 2014 3:14 pm

Keiko

Keiko


D-rank
Lizard Art: Extreme Strike Barrage: Remove the last sentence about it being basic strikes - these are chakra enhanced to get the damages and speeds.

Man-Reptilian Clone: Specify that they cannot use other techniques apart from basic strikes or Seijutsu combo techniques will in this state.

11Tokage Clan Empty Re: Tokage Clan Wed Apr 30, 2014 7:04 pm

Wolfgang

Wolfgang


D-rank
Fixed

12Tokage Clan Empty Re: Tokage Clan Wed Apr 30, 2014 7:19 pm

Bokuden

Bokuden


D-rank
Tokage Clan 7khkzIW

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