You are not connected. Please login or register

View previous topic View next topic Go down Message [Page 1 of 1]

1Ibuki Empty Ibuki Sun Jul 02, 2017 2:18 pm

Sō


D-rank
Ibuki 8iauyj11


Ibuki FAHfQ33
Clan Name: 息吹 "Breath"
Location: Kumogakure & Sunagakure
Specialization: Any
Elements: Fūton or Raiton


Ibuki HhU72Pp
Clan History: Was it cliché to start with "it all started with" a single sound? It was said to have been the Perfect Chord, a sovereign set of notes that was the most beautiful thing to hear in this world - and that was objective fact, it was scientifically the most pleasing thing to the ears of all creatures. Yes, a people such as the Ibuki would know - years after this story arose, they came into the study of sound, its properties, what at all it did. Years, decades, a century flew by, the entire people oblivious and perhaps deliberately uncaring for the Shinobi World Wars that unfolded around them. It was not until the end of the third that they even opened themselves to be known by the Great Lands - of course, they did not vouch for their own inclusion by revealing their secrets.

They were, for a time, laid low by the horrors of the Fourth Shinobi World War, one of their settlements directly assaulted by a long-range Tailed Beast Bomb. They could not have known this, not being privy to world affairs, somewhat by their own will. After such an inherent dissonance, however, the remainder was scattered to the corners of the world, making havens out of the more remote reaches of the world, in deserts and mountains.

Life, to an Ibuki, is not a game, but they are not so serious as not to enjoy the melody of the world unfolding before them. Due to their sensitive hearing, they hear harmonies all around them, thus being quite literally in-tune with everything around them.

Ibuki Y4syLuV
Kekkei Genkai Name: 固音 Kōn, "Solid Sound"
Kekkei Genkai Description: If one were to hear the name of the Ibuki's ability, it would actually be a fairly straightforward description in a superficial sense. As an additional bonus, those with this Kekkei Genkai can use multiple elements in the same jutsu (so long as they don't create Advanced Release-like effects). They can learn their specializations 1 rank earlier by using 1000 more words to learn them, and raise their quaternary specialization past B-rank using 7000 and 12500 words, up to S-rank.

Producing:
Resonance:
Receiving:

Drawbacks:

  • Constructs of Solid Sound fail to hold up to the solidity of true physical forms. However, this only becomes apparent when a sufficient amount of force is applied via said construct, the vibrations having to move - thus destabilizing slightly - to mimic an attack. Moving a Solid Sound construct to directly attack with it results in its damage being lowered by 1 rank for that attack. (This should be detailed within the jutsu.)

  • Ibuki focus heavily in what they do with the powers they have, given the amount of possibilities they hold. They, thus, have little reason to search out more sources of possibilities that they already have within their reach. They start with one element, which must be Wind or Lightning. They can train for 1500 words to learn their secondary element at C-rank for no Ryo cost, and their tertiary at A-rank. (They cannot learn a fourth element, nor can they take "Hesitant (Element)" as a negative SC.)

  • As a result of their extensive training of their sense of hearing, they are vulnerable to frequency and amplitude-based non-concussive sound abilities, being affected for 1 post longer than normal, even after its duration subsides. This type of ability is mainly the training of a biological variation, and comes with other such deviations that are not very beneficial; you must take two of the following SCs, unable to balance them with a positive.

    Spoiler:

  • Resonance is no sort of perpetual-motion machine; if the targeted item stops moving, it stops creating vibrations in the substances around it, which leads to the end of its own vibrations. An entity or object loses all Resonance 1 post after it stops moving. Heat, electricity, or other effects may also need to be terminated., and being touched or otherwise handled resets the necessary time.

  • An Ibuki must always be creating some sort of vibration to use their Solid Sound constructs or derived jutsu; if not by their own movements, by creating a hum or other constant sound. This makes them constantly at risk for detection by others who can hear them, so long as it isn't negated by other means (such as masking the sound's ability to be heard by using a jutsu). The base range for detection via the sound of the construct1 is 2m at E-0 Perception, with +1m at each additional tier (this being in addition to stated ranges in the Perception stat). Their Solid Sound constructs vanish on the post after they stop making vibrations.

  • As a general rule, any sound-based jutsu, not just the clan's, can't be used if a medium for them to travel through (i.e. a form of matter that the ninja can manipulate vibrations within) is not present. A vacuum, for example, removes most atmospheric gases from an area.



Last edited by Sō on Wed Jul 05, 2017 7:26 pm; edited 2 times in total

2Ibuki Empty Re: Ibuki Sun Jul 02, 2017 8:37 pm

Issei

Issei


D-rank
Producing: I assume that people can hear these solid sound constructs despite being unable to see them, correct? This seems obvious but I want it explicitly stated and described, just in case. How far away does someone have to be before they hear the vibrations? Also, as far as the passive jutsu goes, I need you to add training word counts and ryo costs to rank it up; no free rank-ups as the user ranks up. They do not need to be astronomical, they can even be lower than regular jutsu training costs since it is an inherent ability of your clan, but I want them in there, including training to get the second passive at S-Rank.

Resonance: This has a lot of potential for ignoring offensive/defensive jutsu, so I would like the chakra cost for using a resonance stack upped to 10, and I would also like that you cap the maximum number of resonance stacks that can be saved at once (between 3-5, preferably). Also, can you go into more detail on how something gains these stacks? You say "contact with a sound construct or sound influenced object". Can you provide examples of this? Could this be abused using a maintainable sound-based AoE to add stacks to nearby things every turn, perhaps? Take these things into consideration.

Receiving: You're already getting one (or potentially two) custom, passive abilities in Producing; I would prefer that this one not be another passive, especially considering none of these reduce your chakra pool. Turn this sensory technique into an active ability, with its chakra cost increasing depending on your rank of perception, following chakra costs outlined in the chakra rules. Alternatively, if you must keep it as a passive, I want its range significantly lowered (like, halved) or a permanent chakra cost reduction added in your drawbacks (20 should suffice).

I would like you to add, somewhere in the drawbacks, that if sound has no medium to travel through (i.e. the user is trapped in a vacuum), then any sound constructs or sound-based jutsu cannot be used, just to be explicit. Furthermore, how does being within a medium other than air alter the clansmen's vibrations? If an Ibuki is underwater, how are their passive jutsu affected? Their sound-based sensory?

This is a great idea for a clan and it is extremely well written, by the way. Bump this thread when you've made the edits, I'll be keeping an eye on it.

http://www.narutosaga.com/t23427-new-organization-ninshiki#18669

3Ibuki Empty Re: Ibuki Mon Jul 03, 2017 9:27 pm

Sō


D-rank
Production: The base premise of being able to be heard was already rendered clear under Drawbacks; as per your suggestion, I've given a base range of audibility, the range scaling with one's Perception rank and tier.

That said, I'm fine with training to buff it given the lack of a chakra pool reduction. Miser little me has opted for full-wordcount, no Ryo as opposed to lower for both, if that's alright. All changed, though!

~

Resonance: That's entirely the point, mind - to outright ignore offenses and defenses' interactions with supplementary jutsu. Just seems odd, the way offenses can be used as defenses with no disadvantages (especially maintainable self-range aura/armor types). Probably not a tirade that's worth having given everyone's saying new rules are coming out soon.

Restrictions have been placed stating that you can't transfer Resonance outside of direct physical contact with a construct/affected item, except with a specific B-rank or higher jutsu to do so which has no other effect.

The limit as a D-rank ninja is now 2 stacks of Resonance on any one given target, +1 per rank up (max 6 at S-rank/the unreachable 7 at SS).

~

Receiving: Admittedly the area in which I found the least knowledge, given the relative sparsity of current examples. I've halved its range as requested for a passive effect, and added a chakra-based method of bringing it back up to the original values.

-

Added the portion about lack of medium.

Solid Sound using Lightning Release is explicated to travel through liquids just fine (because it produces vibrations alone that can travel anywhere. It's also already stated that Wind Release Solid Sound cannot be used where there is no airflow (i.e. underwater). However, neither can directly pass through solids (though Wind Release can pass through solids with holes, or particulate matter). However, outside wind-based Solid Sound specifically, water conducts sound just fine (see Dosu vs. Chouji), so there's really no functional difference in any other case.

~

Thank your members, if anyone; the only reason I was able to write this up as well as I could was because I had lots of positive and negative examples from modding and approved things.

4Ibuki Empty Re: Ibuki Wed Jul 05, 2017 7:37 am

Issei

Issei


D-rank
Alright! Round two.

Producing looks fine for now.

Resonance - My problem isn't with supplementary jutsu using resonance, it's with your solid sound constructs using it. If you have a fully upgraded, B-Rank passive solid sound gun, for example, you can shoot sound bullets that can bypass any defenses (even SS-Rank ones) so long as you have stacks of resonance on those defenses, though the text outlining non-chakra based defenses in the Doton wall example kind of makes this ability simultaneously seem easily avoided, so I'm not sure what to think here, exactly. So! You can take out the line about "solely stemming from chakra", if you wish, because this is kind of vague in its application during fights, but ONLY if you do as I originally asked and up the chakra cost of using resonance stacks to 10 instead of 5. Everything else concerning this part of the kekkei genkai is a-ok.

Receiving - When I said alternatively, I meant "you can do this OR this", but you did both lol. Regardless, if you do want to make it essentially a "toggle" ability, I want that chakra cost increased substantially. Getting a scaling, passive/active sensory jutsu for free thanks to your clan that increases in rank by 1 and also doubles in range for 5 chakra is ridiculous, even if it is for one post. Up this to 15.

Now, something I didn't touch on before. Your clansmen can combine multiple elements in one jutsu...this isn't really something that is clan-locked, in any capacity. Many jutsu can use more than one element, the only exceptions being advanced elements, which you explicitly state that your clan isn't capable of. Unless you can explain how this application of elements is unique, remove it.

Your clansmen also can train their third and fourth specializations one rank earlier, by training 1,000 more words. At first, I was fine with this, but then you hit me with the "they can train their fourth spec above B-Rank" as well, and that put me on the fence. Furthermore, these word counts you've proposed seem high at first, but when compared to the training required to get up to S for a 3rd spec/element in the guidelines, yours is actually lower than it should be, especially considering this is a 4th spec which usually can't even be trained past B in the first place. So, up the B-Rank to A-Rank word count to 7,000, and up the A-Rank to S-Rank word count to--wait for it--12,500. Now, I know, this seems astronomically high, but in training third specs from B to A, it costs 5,000, and from A to S, it jumps up to 9,000, which is 1.8 times higher. So, I followed the same rule with hypothetical fourth spec training, and multiplied 7,000 by 1.8, then cut it down to a nice, clean 12,500.

That's all for now, bump this thread when you've made the edits.

http://www.narutosaga.com/t23427-new-organization-ninshiki#18669

5Ibuki Empty Re: Ibuki Wed Jul 05, 2017 7:27 pm

Sō


D-rank
Resonance has had Solid Sound constructs removed as to what can benefit from it, since your phrasing implies that I raise it to keep it. Inversely, I've taken it out to keep the cost.

Changed Receiving accordingly.

I've asked many people on the subject of whether you can use multiple elements in the same jutsu, and the answers have been mixed. (Even Syekren said no, for example.) I'd rather cover it than regret it later, if anything. If everyone can, then this is there for nothing, oh well, it's useless; you can't clan-lock a lot of things anyhow, as I'm told. On the other hand, this might be a creative boon where others don't have the liberty, then.

I'm no stranger to hard work. Changed the WC per request.

6Ibuki Empty Re: Ibuki Wed Jul 05, 2017 7:40 pm

Issei

Issei


D-rank
Huh, didn't know "the rules had changed" as Sye said. I'll consult with staff about that later, because I have a number of jutsu across my characters that utilize more than one element, and it seems strange to make something like that clan-lockable. If someone has access to more than one element, why shouldn't they be able to use more than one element in a jutsu? But, I digress. That isn't your problem, and you may keep that part in.

Producing, Resonance, and Receiving all look good.

It's my pleasure to say, your clan is approved.

http://www.narutosaga.com/t23427-new-organization-ninshiki#18669

7Ibuki Empty Re: Ibuki Fri Oct 06, 2017 7:32 am

Issei

Issei


D-rank
Pulling this clan for another review, another member had brought something about this clan to my attention that I'd like to address. It will be in an essential limbo state until edits are made, though I don't want to say it's unapproved, necessarily.

I'd like you to change it so that the sound techniques can only be seen with a perception stat one tier higher than the jutsu's rank, rather than one rank higher than the ninja's rank. Abilities that have passive scaling with ninja rank doesn't sit right with me, as that is a free, powerful effect at higher ranks without need to meet a word count or another training cost. Your clan having it is encouraging other people to put it into their clans, which I don't like.

http://www.narutosaga.com/t23427-new-organization-ninshiki#18669

Sponsored content



View previous topic View next topic Back to top Message [Page 1 of 1]

Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum

Naruto and Naruto Shippuuden belong to © Masashi Kishimoto.