Symbol:

Clan: The Unmei (運命)

Kekkei Genkai: Onikeigan/Chakra Control

Elements: N/A

Specialization: Ninjutsu (primary), bukijutsu (secondary)

Location: Mountains of Lightning Country

Clan History: The Unmei are believed to have been descendant of Unmei, Ryuzaki and that his blood flows through every living Unmei. Hailing from Valyria, a mysterious place hidden within the mountains of lightning country, it is unknown how it has remained unnoticed to the outside world, whether by Genjutsu or Fuuinjutsu. Although most may have seen an Unmei in passing unknown to them, no one has ever seen Valyria, whether it is a myth or not, is not truly known however the rumors about Valyria say only those with the blood of the Unmei may find Valyria.

Export of the Unmei Historical documents:

Before our father came to power there were two families these families were at war with each other, and the war was tearing our land apart. Ryuzaki prayed to Keranos and asked him to save our home, our families, and our peace. Keranos answered Ryuzaki giving him his Onikeigan and a strange talisman, with these gifts Ryuzaki killed the two families king and announced to all that his is the way of peace. Although some of the main house of the families opposed Ryuzaki, they were soon dealt with and Ryuzaki united the two families finally in peace. Ryuzaki took the name Unmei (運命) "Destiny" as it was decided by Keranos that Ryuzaki was to lead Valyria, and from our father we are born.

Kekkei Genkai Description:
Onikeigan - (鬼圭系 - The Demon Eye) the Blood Inheritance Limit of the Unmei Clan, giving them extrasensory sight. This Doujutsu is not granted at birth and must be trained in order to achieve this ability. When activated the iris of the Unmei turn from their normal eye color to an emerald green color, the pupil turns into a slant kinda of like a cats eye, and 4 black slits are formed diagonally around the pupil. It gives one telescopic vision allowing them to see far distances as if they were standing right next to it, In addition they are able to see unhindered no matter how much or how little light is around or the direct the light is coming from, making them expert marksmen. however their vision enhancement is not just distance, they are able to see things most people would miss as they are exceptional aware of their surroundings making it harder for them to fall for visual genjutsu that is lower than the eye's rank, (the eye allows them to see the flaws that most would overlook, or the changes in the area around them that would be caused by a genjutsu. Note: only works on genjutsu that is lower than the eye's rank, then if they realize they are in a genjutsu or about to fall under one then they still have to use kai or other method to escape). even while their vision is scoped they remain aware of their surroundings their other senses are heightened and will instantly draw the Unmei's vision back to their surroundings,as a defensive mechanism of the Onikeigan to prevent the Unmei from being caught off guard while they were scoped.

Note: The Unmei must train, under the study of a master in order to awaken the Onikeigan. Under the supervision of the master the Unmei will learn to be able to utilize the eyes to be able to see farther then they would normally be able to, the young genin are pushed to their limits with test of their sight.

Onikeigan's Scale: (Must Train with Master in Valeriya)

• Genin up to 25 Meters, Character Must be at least 13, Awakening WC 1000
  
• Chuunin up to 75 Meters, Training WC 2000
  
• Jounin up to 150 Meters, Training WC 3000
  
• S-Rank Up to 300 Meters, Training WC 5000
  

Chakra Manipulation: Since before Keranos gave Ryuzaki the strange talisman the people of Valyria have train themselves to control chakra in its purest form, raw chakra, through a secret study of techniques passed down through the ages. Thru the talisman the Unmei were given the ability to be able to manipulate and control the chakra to the point where they can make weapons out of the chakra itself and be able to use it in battle. example: they can form a bow out of their chakra and be able to fire arrows, which with the help of the Onikeigan the Unmei have exceptional aim. However the talisman is not the limit of their power, even without the talisman they are able to use their chakra manipulation, just not to the point of solidifying a weapon, they are able to manipulate it to form barriers for defense, or exhort the chakra from their body or hand to force an opponent away from them. However it is Impossible to make any Chakra Weapon without the Talisman.

Unmei Talisman:

Drawbacks:
Extended use of the Onikeigan can damage the Unmei's sight

(Can only activate once per thread.)

• Genin: no longer than 2 post
  
• Chuunin: no longer than 4 post
  
• Jounin: no longer than 7 post
  
• S-Rank: no longer than 10 post
  

Due to their amount of training that is required to control their raw chakra, the Unmei are unable to manipulate elemental chakra at Genin, and can't gain an element until they reach Chuunin; they must train (1500 WC) in order to use the element. They don't have to train at Chuunin this can be done a any level beyond Chuunin, however they only get 1 element. (Element differs between members)

In order to solidifying their chakra into a weapon they must have an Unmei Talisman. A special Talisman that every Unmei are given and is required for them to begin training of the Onikeigan.

If the talisman gets destroyed the Unmei will be unable to form their chakra into a weapon and must return to Valeriya and petition for a new one(a.k.a. Buy One from Shop)

Known Members:
Unmei, Zaheer (NPC for Training purposes Only)
Unmei, Ruvaak

Kekkei Genkai Jutsu:

Unmei Jutsu:

I don't mean to be a massive killjoy, as it seems like you have put in an extensive amount of work on a VERY well formulated and well written clan. However, this doujutsu sadly encroaches on the doujutsu of many other clans. Penetrating sight is a staple of the byakkugan, while genjutsu penetration and the keen noticing of muscles etc and the predictory factor is a staple of the sharengan.

you're going to need to distance this eye from those doujutsu considerably before this clan is approved.

Really sorry

DENIED~

Made edits to Doujutsu please Let me know what you think

Okay, now we have something here to work with. I would like to remind you right now that Doujutsu clans are held to the highest of standards and I will be treating this as such.

KKG:

• You need to mention the Talisman here, do you begin with one? If so, it needs a write-up as an item. And it is assumed that if it is destroyed you are unable to use any of the techniques which would require it, correct?
  
• I would like you to have to train the eye in order to rank it up, which would require a word count and something which needs to be specifically done for it to be trained, especially to the S rank version. Good word-counts would be 1000 to awaken to genin, 2000 chuunin, 3000 jounin, 5000 for Sanin. Also, mention what rank they 'can' be trained at? Do you need to be a chuunin.
  
• I'd also like you to define its genjutsu perception thing, how does it do this? Does it make Kai easier? please elaborate
  
• You need to define their chakra manipulation as techniques, as i assume they are jutsu used with the eye. Also, how does the eye give you the ability to control raw chakra, you make it sound like a KKG ability while to me it sounds very separate.

Drawbacks:

• I'd like you to reduce the numbers (if not reverse them) no combat period ever exceeds more than 10 posts tops, also, the way it's described here a ninja could simply deactivate and reactivate the eyes.
  
• No elements... Damn... That'll give you some lee-way, you might wanna have like, 1 element. As a heads up.
  
• Do you need a talisman per weapon? Or just the one to make them? Does the talisman have a rank (of course it would, i assume) Does that mean that you could only use weapon jutsu of the talismans rank and lower? (which would be kinda cool). Please go into more detail.

Jutsu:

• Eyes: All above points on eyes
  
• Destruction: You've made this a scaling jutsu, as it is C rank, I would like the arrows shot per turn to be fixed, and I would like a chakra cost on making more, which can be +5 per 5 arrows or something. 5 per turn is a fine number for a C rank, but you also need to define speed and damage for all weapon types. (don't go near the highest damages, as the amount of utility this gives is amazing) I'd also like you to specify that you can't switch weapons using this.
  
• Mind blender: (I HAVE THIS TECHNIQUE! lol) I'd like you to specify that any debuffs still apply to you. Remove the must be trained, you don't need it~

repost in reqs after edits are made please <3

1/ please uncenter things, it may look cool, but it throws people off with the bolded titles not lining up :)

KKG

Looks good, but what does this DO to help you break through Genjutsu, as it is written, it seems to vaguely act as a means for you to say you see through them... which is a little meta, i would like you to put a category there which is a little more solid, like, the eye allows you to see through genjutsu of lower rank than the eye. Or something, give it something solid.

The rest seems good.

Drawbacks:

These seem fine

Jutsu:

Eye: Is fine

Destruction: we don't deal in -1 chakras, just say it is 5 chakra to make 5. Make the rank of the ability E-C. Can the clan app stronger talismans to be able to get, say, A rank weapons from them? If so, make this jutsu E-A, and list the other damages etc.

Blender: Looking good.

KKG Description

State that you need to BUY higher rank talismans...

After that, this clan looks fine. Just go through and make sure your wording is fine, after you''ve made small change, i will read through everything again, rather than just the issues i've mentioned, and if everything is all good. I will approve it :)

read through it 3 times and i couldn't see anything wrong with the wording so I believe it is ready for you to read.