Clan: Hagoromo Clan - 羽衣一族

Kekkei Genkai: Angel's Raiment

Elements: N/A

Specialization: N/A

Location: Originated in Konoha, currently scattered

Clan History: The Hagoromo clan is one of the earliest clans to come into existance. Scattered around in a time where the villages didn't even exist. There place in the world was a specific one, while all the other clans at the point focused on the new art of ninjutsu, the Hagoromo clan focused on their bodies, creating what was to be known as the Angel's Raiment. The effect being the perfect defense through a series of offensive options. Through years of years of physical maintenance the clan become that of a legend, even at their peak many didn't believe that they even existed, because of this their recorded impact in history is at a minimum.

Throughout history the Uchiha and the Hagoromo had an extremely positive history. Both agreeing in the same morals to the point that the Hagoromo clan was one of the few clans that allied with the Uchiha against the Senju clan. It was during the results of these battles that the Uchiha clan began to disband themselves, surrendering to the clan they believed themselves to be outclassed to. Here was the Hagoromo's clan greatest trick, they convinced the world they never existed.

Realizing that they were in a world that no longer accepted them, the Hagoromo clan did what few others did and completely separated. While there presence still existed, it was much more minor in this state. Several other clans however did manage to pick up members of the Hagoromo clan, here they became minor legends in their respective field.

Currently the Hagoromo clan live scattered across the world, their clans abilities almost invisible to most members of the clan, simply a name. But for a few select the fires of will and destruction burn as hot as ever, the desire to climb back to the top is there, all that is needed is a spark.


Kekkei Genkai Description: Users of this clan are almost instantly recognizable in a fight, being one of the only races to actively destroy the entirety of their body. Hagoromo members are able to replace their entire body with a single implant, by sealing the entirety of their chakra system into one point. If this point is destroyed, the user dies similar to how if a normal persons brain is destroyed. However, the benefit of this is allowed for a series of upgrades to be placed onto the body in the form of puppet weapons/items and normal implants, none of which remove from the users maximum amount of chakra, unless they directly impact on his vital area. This initial implant is referred to as the Master Implant.

The master implant must be app'd as a normal item, however it does not require a counter balance in the sense that it does not need disadvantages. Because of this the exact design of your new body is completely up to yourself. When the user ranks up their body does not, meaning the owner needs to post an updated version of their master implant to be approved, these cost full price and do not need to be implanted themselves, as it is the body updating on its on will based on the users strength. The Master Implant works similarly to a body in the sense that as you increase your physical stats the implant will actually grow, meaning that putting time into endurance and such will actually do something rather than having no effect at all.

The Hagoromo user is allowed to have a set amount of implants and puppet items/weapons based on their rank. As long as the user has Kugjutsu or Bukijutsu as a style, they're capable of implanting these onto themselves out of combat for free. These items can only be equal to or lower than the rank of the master implant.

D-Rank - 6
C-Rank - 7
B-Rank - 9
A-Rank - 11
S-Rank - 13
SS-Rank - 16

The Hagoromo's vital point is essentially the users core, their consciousness is in this item as well as their whole chakra system, without it they would simply be an impressive costume. At minimum the size of this vital point must be at least 6"x6"x6" in mass, however it can be located anywhere on the users new body.

Everyone starts with the following as the base for their master implant, it is up to the user to apply for a new version each time they obtain a level or implant an item;

Spoiler:

Drawbacks: Every member of the clan must take the Pharmacophobia. This is because of the fact that medics will not be used to Hagoromo's unique physiology.

The users vital area is a glowing hot spot for anyone that can see chakra.

On obtaining the master implant, medical techniques will be useless on them as they're almost completely robotic. Because of this members of the Hagoromo clan will have to find alternative methods to heal themselves. It is worth noting that offensive jutsu will be unaffected by this as long as it makes sense, meaning that an medical technique that breaks the targets bone will be useless but something like chakra saber will still be able to inflict cutting wounds.

Members of the clan suffer a -20 to their chakra pool, due to the small size of the vital point not being able to contain 100% of the normal chakra system.


Members: (Members of the clan can be updated here)

Kekkei Genkai Jutsu:

Spoiler:

Codeine:

Okay, lets get started, i know you're new, but if it looks like this is a big wall of text, thats because i go through everything... less back and forward that way, and it gets the clan approved faster (though, it will seem more daunting. )

History:
You're not all tailed beasts in human suits from across the seas who sink countries with the power of light and darnkess, XD so everything here is ok!

KKG:
~What kind of implants? Are they medical? Puppet? What? you don't determine... I would like you to say that you need to be given them by a medical specialist in a thread of 4k words and have to pay 1k ryo for each implant past the first as you're at the appropriate rank. And also state that, as they are implants, the risks to implants apply as per the implant/ transfusion rules.

~How much lower is the chakra reduction? I want a varying chakra reduction for each implant, as, because the differ in volume, they would differ in amount. For example, replacing eyes/ ears would be little more than -15 for each that you remove, as they are small, while removing the legs SHOULD almost remove like 35% of your chakra pool. cos they're by far the largest.

~Without kugutsu or bukijutsu you cannot channel chakra through a puppet anyway. Puppet limbs are incapable of contributing to things like ninjutsu, cos, they're not a part of 'you'

~Any limitations should be in the drawbacks section Ie, how many implants a person can get, i want it to be limited to 3, not 5. So, you start with 1, get another at special jounin, and the last at Sannin. Otherwise its way too strong. Also,

~Arm: You mean increases strength by +1 tier.
~legs: I'm letting you have +1 tier to speed. Not +2
~Senses: No... you're not getting free scaling sensory equal to your rank. Make it cost chakra, make the user have to choose between eyes, or ears being replaced, not both. And make the range of seeing chakra 25m costing 5 chakra per turn. (you can say that as a second, separate implant the user can get the other sensory organ they did not get before, and doing so gives them +1 to perception, or something.) You can keep the increased range per rank. I don't think that's too bad.
~Organs: I... don't know how to deal with this one... hmmm. I would rather it just be a +1 tier to endurance, rather than it being like "only hitting my misplaced kidney can kill me." Cos, that is very abuse-able.
~Skin: I like the thought of the skin replacement. You should however, say that replacing the skin gives the ninja a layer equal to like, a C rank light armour. and use the rules for light armour in the items section.



Drawbacks:
~ yeah, you're increasing that chakra deduction... as per stated above.

~What's Ijutsu? Also, none of your replacements replace bone, other than the limb ones, and even that wasn't specified. You're gonna need to be more specific, and add at least another 2 drawbacks. One drawback for every implant the user can get please. :) (buffs and drawbacks go 1 for 1, s for every + you get, you need to have a -)

Jutsu:
Sentai: All cooldowns begin at the end of the jutsus duration, so, from the post it has been cast, it will take a full 10 turns to be able to activate it a second time. the duration of 4+6 turn cooldown = 10. Other than that, this jutsu is pretty basic, so just make the cooldown say "6."

Iron Bending: No. I want this jutsu to scale down as it scales up. Make it able to repair 1 item of equal rank or 2 of 1 rank lower or 4 of 1 rank lower again 8 of 4 ranks lower, etc. you're not getting, you're not getting an A rank jutsu which heals 14 S rank weapons.

Time Warp: Space/ time manipulation is banned, so, at the very least, you're changing the name. Also, how are you using bukijutsu to slow down everything in an AoE around you. At the very least that would be a Taijutsu technique, as it would be by altering your own sensory perception to increase your processing speed to make everything seem slower, which would be effecting your brain, so it would ALSO be a medical technique. This goes for Rewind as well. These jutsu are very much in the realm of Taijutsu & medical techniques, not buki... As buki is enchanting items and flowing your chakra out of your body, and INTO another substance. While Tai is chakra flow within your body, and nin is chakra control outside of it.

Before I do any changes to this, is it not possible at all to keep 5 implants as the only reason I made this clan was for a full body conversion and without it I don't plan to continue on this project.

You can replace your other limbs, but it will have to be under the normal kugutsu body replacement rules and be apped as such. The reason i cannot give them all to you, is the combined buffs are way too strong. The +'s the less chakra reduction than normal parts, the utility of having puppet weapons in them all and so on combined is just too much to have for just being your clan buffs/ equipment.

If you wanna redo the clan to just be living human puppets ala Sasori at chakra reductions, and have that be the clans thing, i would be much more inclined to approve it.

So what, buff the chakra reduction and state that they are single items, they can't have puppet items and such on top? I never really wanted to make a puppet clan to begin with, I just figured it fit as much as bukijutsu.

--edit--

If replacing my legs was 35% of my chakra pool then I would have about 10% left at the end.

Applied changes as discussed.

---

Bending Iron - I'm cool with making it equal and such. Would it be OK if I put in that while 1 item is instant, multiple items take an extended period of time to repair. 2 posts for 2-3, 3 posts for 4-5, ect.

I've changed them all to Tai over Buki as suggested.

Time Warp does change my perception, it lowers the enemy speed. I'm sorry if I wasn't clear on that.

(not sure about the rules on double posting, so if doing this makes me site Hitler, I'm very sorry)

KKG

~(You're not the only race to replace their whole body with mechanics, so, remove that statement.)

"The master implant must be app'd as a normal item, however it does not require a counter balance."

~Whaaaat? This, doesn't make sense to me.

The Master Body: You've gone around adding this master body, in the most complicated possible way you could have ever attempted it. How about, rather than explaining how it is different for everyone, put the schematics for the master body and what it does in a quote box, and say that members of the clan begin with it. (It won'd be accepted higher than D rank, and you can go on to say that ninja can app other master bodies at later times. and when it comes to the physical appearance section for the items, simply say that the cosmetic appearance of each master body differs from ninja to ninja. And under abilities, you would say all the things about that it has the core for all the user's chakra, what happens when it breaks and how resistant it is to damage. As well as providing the platform for up to 6 pieces of equipment.) After, with the scaling amount of equipment, you say that higher ranked Master bodies are able to equip more weapons.

Drawbacks:

~You need far more drawbacks... I would like a chakra reduction to be one of them, even if it's -20 just for the master body... 1 drawback for 'each' positive. so, one for the master body, one for its ability to equip other things, the medical one cancels itself out as it can prove beneficial as some offensive techniques simply wont work, which should be stated in the KKG description, as it's functionally a positive.

Jutsu:

Sentai: why did you change the defensive properties? It was good, it was fine before. But, you can't just have free scaling off an item by doubling its resistances. Make it's cool-down dependant on how long it has been active for, ie. Duration+2 or double the duration, or something.  And i would like it to go back to being blocking 1 jutsu of 1 rank higher, 2 of equal, 4 of 1 lower. please.

Bending of iron, you didn't change it at all.... you can heal multiple items, but not of equal rank, so, when you get stronger, your S rank application could heal 2 A rank items. Your A rank application, could heal, 8 D rank items. Which is fair. AND also, remember that this jutsu is the first of its kind. Because normally, if your weapon breaks it needs to be repaired. OH, that being said, I would like you to specify that you need all pieces of the wepon intact in order to repair them (You could repair a sword cut in two by a jutsu, but not one obliterated by katon of 3 ranks higher... as... there's nothing to repair. )

Time Warp: Still says bukijutsu chakra... The way it reads, it still sounds like you're choosing who to manipulate time on. This jutsu has to be lowering your OWN senses or hightening them, so that you can perceive things as moving slower than they are. And, if anything, it would increase your reaction time, not lower others.

Rewind: you don't use implant slots any more, and I'm not going to approve 4 post reduction on a B rank jutsu that's not medical. I would like it to be 2-3. if it's 3 i want this jutsu to have a downside. Like, a stat debuff or something.

:)

PS...

When you're done with edits, and you bump, please bump in the clan req's thread. Cos, that's where i go to check for work to be done <3

KKG

"When the user ranks up so does their body, "

~ I don't think you're getting automatic rank ups for a full body item, I would like it that master bodies need to be replaced as per buying a new item. You get the first for free, but a free scaling body is just asking for too much.

With the new bodies at higher ranks that would give an IC explanation as to how their stats increase through training... Them not needing to be implanted is fine, but, a clan getting a full body up to SS rank item is way too much.

Also, if it's a clan KKG, you don't need to worry about implants, cos, as it seems, the implant has already happened for the character before they begin by being a member of the clan. So, you don't need to implant master implants at all. Nor any future ones, as you're just switching out parts one by one.

Reducing all damage by 1 rank isn't going to be ok either. I'd like you to at the very least, use the template for light armour for defensive qualities, if not make them slightly worse than that.

With the no. of items based on rank, make it items based on the rank of the master implant.

2x2x2 is a tiny core, I would like its minimum size to be 6x6x6 inches. That way, at least it is nearing the size of a major organ. I would also like you to mention that it can be seen "easily" by any sensory technique or doujutsu which sees chakra (in the disadvantages.)

Also, remove the moving consciousness clause, that would be a SS ranked jutsu, one which you can feel free to attempt to get approved when you reach S rank, but it's too much for a passive clan buff, and you've given no plausible reason as to how. That object does not have your chakra, you can't just leave.

In your template please fill the ability/ function area with the ability/ function of the implant. which would be its defensive properties.

Downsides:

Getting better, with the note on the ease of sensing their core, i think we will be okay here, I will review again closer to this clan being approved.

Jutsu:

Sentai... I sware you changed that cool-down... A rank full power defensive jutsu which last 5 posts are not getting a 2 post cool-down. You're making it 'at least' 6. As the barrier lasts 5 turns it is a powerful jutsu. I would be making its cooldown at least 3 even if the duration was ONE post.

Item Heal... You say it heals all items in contact, and then say it is limited, please remove the part about it healing all items in contact, and i would still like you to add something to the effect of 'so long as the pieces of the broken weapon are intact and not completely destroyed.'

Yumi... reduce this to 2 tiers as per the buff/ debuff guidelines in the jutsu guide, as well as giving yourself a drawback for its use. This could be perhaps -1 to perception while the jutsu is active or something.

Rewind: You lowered the Rank of the jutsu and did not give it a drawback at all.... Increase it back to B and then perform the requested edits.

You know, it's clear to me my original plan is not going to work, could you please move this to rejected? (or whatever the equivalent is on this site)