You are not connected. Please login or register

View previous topic View next topic Go down Message [Page 1 of 1]

1Uzumaki Tsuneo [Jutsu update V.2] Empty Uzumaki Tsuneo [Jutsu update V.2] Thu Oct 06, 2016 6:39 pm

Tsuneo

Tsuneo


D-rank
Forget me!:






[/spoiler]


MOD MEE:



Last edited by Tsuneo on Sat Jun 03, 2017 2:33 am; edited 40 times in total

2Uzumaki Tsuneo [Jutsu update V.2] Empty Re: Uzumaki Tsuneo [Jutsu update V.2] Sat Oct 22, 2016 4:02 pm

Jet

Jet


D-rank
Only five jutsu can be modded at anytime. Decide which you want to attend to first by listing them in your next post after my own

3Uzumaki Tsuneo [Jutsu update V.2] Empty Re: Uzumaki Tsuneo [Jutsu update V.2] Sun Oct 23, 2016 1:24 am

Tsuneo

Tsuneo


D-rank
Thanks for the reply. Also, Lightning lance, Fire dragon, rasengan, inspiration wave, and shock bullets were removed as they are all library jutsus and one is an event prize that I have Bokuden message as proof for.

Aside from that, all clan Jutsu have been removed as they are just that, clan Jutsu.

Aside from that I would like to start with Matoryoshika (Which is up to date all it needs is a quick look) and swallowing seal(Also up to date although it has an unnecessary drawback as it functions like a normal jutsu but it is up to you to remove it or not.) Then I would like the "Free A-ranks from seven bells arc" Jutsus to be checked again all up to date, just a simple look. As for the last and the fifth jutsu I would like my S-rank jutsu. I also specified how as a fuuinjutsu it pierces and rips apart the victim(Explained that those are just visual effects when in reality it deals damage in a different way, sealing way.)

4Uzumaki Tsuneo [Jutsu update V.2] Empty Re: Uzumaki Tsuneo [Jutsu update V.2] Tue Nov 29, 2016 11:05 pm

Gin

Gin

Retired
Please choose 5 jutsu for mods to look at at a time, love!

Just put them in a separate spoiler and label them properly.

5Uzumaki Tsuneo [Jutsu update V.2] Empty Re: Uzumaki Tsuneo [Jutsu update V.2] Mon Dec 05, 2016 12:47 am

Fukai

Fukai


D-rank
Ultimate Reality

needs ninjutsu


Sealers Path

what is 'essence of the void'? Need some explanation as to how you are getting a benefit from this.

+1 what?

give me an exhaustive list of how this jutsu can enhance other jutsu.


Soul Sacrifice

sounds like a med/tai jutsu, unless you can explain it better somehow

lower range to fit rules

you have perceived time dilation, but that doesn't really affect your point to point movement which is what reaction time stat represents.


Idk about replacing jutsu so I'll get back to you on that.

6Uzumaki Tsuneo [Jutsu update V.2] Empty Re: Uzumaki Tsuneo [Jutsu update V.2] Fri Dec 16, 2016 1:07 pm

Tsuneo

Tsuneo


D-rank
Bump, also, I edited all Jutsus and you can ignore Soul Sacrifice for now until i work on it thank you.

7Uzumaki Tsuneo [Jutsu update V.2] Empty Re: Uzumaki Tsuneo [Jutsu update V.2] Wed May 10, 2017 2:44 am

Maigo

Maigo


D-rank
Tsuneo wrote:
Name: spider's web
Canon/Custom: Custom
Rank: A
Type: Supplementary
Element: N/A
Range: 30 meters radius
Specialty: Ninjutsu
Duration: Maintainable 10 chakra per post
Cooldown: 2+maintained posts
Description: The user releases a wave of gentle chakra that tracks motion. As movement occurs the user is informed of any movement and the position in which the movement is occurring. The wave covers the area at a speed of 40 meters a second and follows the user remaining around them.[/font][/i]

Artistic Creation of the Ultimate Reality:
-Remove the function bit here, let's just leave it to piercing damage and no level of billions of microscopic seals? Billions is just a little excessive, and when you say continuously sealing it makes it seem like it's constantly sealing them away entirely

The Sealer's Path:
-I'm gonna say no to removing drawbacks of a jutsu, you can empower them and such fine, but the drawbacks removing is gonna be denied

Spider's Web is Approved~

Redistribution:
-Pick which stats your buffing and debuffing here, otherwise should be fine

8Uzumaki Tsuneo [Jutsu update V.2] Empty Re: Uzumaki Tsuneo [Jutsu update V.2] Fri May 12, 2017 7:29 pm

Maigo

Maigo


D-rank
Tsuneo wrote:
Name: The Sealer's Path
Canon/Custom: Custom
Rank: A
Type: Supplementary
Element: N/A
Range: N/A
Specialty: Fuuinjutsu
Duration: Maintainable(10 per post)
Cooldown: 2+Maintained posts
Description: The user completes a series of hand seals: Dog
→Ox→Dragon→Horse→Bird. The user then places their palm on their chest as a seal expands before fading. The seal unseals chakra that attaches itself to Fuuinjutsu techniques used by the user of this Jutsu. The user's Fuuinjutsu increase in effectiveness and power. During this mode, the user may select certain aspects to strengthen for each Fuuinjutsus they use.


  • Choice One: Increase effective range and speed by 15 meters (Ex: A Jutsu that's range is 30 meters and speed is 30 m/s increases to 45 meters in range and in speed 45 m/s)




  • Choice Two: Strengthen Jutsu's defensive properties making it stronger (Ex: A-rank become S-rank)(Ex: If a Jutsu can defend against 1 S-Rank 2 A-rank 4 B-rank it will be able to defend against 1 SS-rank 2 S-rank 4 A-rank.)




  • Choice Three: Strengthens Sensory techniques. A sensory technique empowering its sensing ability and allowing it to sense more (A-rank sensory becomes S-rank)


-On the jutsu you want reapproved with higher boundaries, I'm just looking at them as brand new because there are other things I'd like to address with them? The increased qualities should be fine though (have yet to read them at the time of writing this line)

Artistic Creation of the Ultimate Reality:
-A point I must have missed before, list the number of hand signs or which ones are needed to activate the jutsu, afterwards this is good to go~

Devouring Apocalypse:
-So, this is a very high powered offensive and defensive jutsu, as such, you won't be getting full power of both aspects but more so 50/50. What I normally do for this (at this level) is have the defensive lose 1 jutsu across the top (so defends 1 jutsu at rank and 2 at lower rank) while the offense is the max of the rank below it?
-On the offensive stance, I'd like the one second delay to be changed to 1 post (hard to measure a fluid measure of time in actual time given the variable nature of the time of posts and the overlap between writers)
-I assume the user is not killed but you say anyone? I would clarify that point as well if you'd like, to whether it affects the user as well or not

Centipede's Garden:
-Make sure you clarify posts in your duration
-When you say it takes 2 posts for a jutsu to escape, why does an S rank jutsu not outright destroy the seal and end it? Also, for A rank jutsu (following defensive properties I think?) it should be 3 jutsu

Sealer's Path is Approved~

9Uzumaki Tsuneo [Jutsu update V.2] Empty Re: Uzumaki Tsuneo [Jutsu update V.2] Sat May 13, 2017 4:40 pm

Tsuneo

Tsuneo


D-rank
Okay, first off thanks a lot maigo for your hard work!

Secondly, I'd like to explain a couple of things so getting them back doesn't take time sorry

 
Maigo wrote:Devouring Apocalypse:
-So, this is a very high powered offensive and defensive jutsu, as such, you won't be getting full power of both aspects but more so 50/50. What I normally do for this (at this level) is have the defensive lose 1 jutsu across the top (so defends 1 jutsu at rank and 2 at lower rank) while the offense is the max of the rank below it? 
-On the offensive stance, I'd like the one second delay to be changed to 1 post (hard to measure a fluid measure of time in actual time given the variable nature of the time of posts and the overlap between writers)
-I assume the user is not killed but you say anyone? I would clarify that point as well if you'd like, to whether it affects the user as well or not


You said it was powerfully offensive and defensive, that is correct it is the point of this jutsu. However, it has many weaknesses which I stated in a vague sense so as to not give my opponent my weaknesses instead have them find them out. Which is why it appeared flawless to you.


TIERS: The Jutsu makes the user lose 4 tiers in strength that remains a big problem. For example, in defensive form, the enemy can enter the  and engage in hand to hand combat with Tsuneo and this will be a humongous disadvantage as it is because until Tsuneo switches over to the offensive stance which again will make Tsuneo vulnerable until he switches to offensive stance 4 tiers would render his swordsmanship almost completely useless. Different 


Physical: The jutsu can seal any attack in chakra form in defensive stance, but until the user switches to offensive stance which requires one post. The user cannot fight back with physical power as he is 4 tiers weaker.


Color: As I stated it changes color and gives a weird feeling.  This color is a great indicator that a change in the jutsu will occur. essentially warning opponents to back off and rethink their plan.

1 kill or 10 kills: The Jutsu kills indiscriminately. As I stated once it kills it ends. Meaning if it kills one pet toad it ends if it kills ten people it ends. It can only kill once despite how many it kills it can only kill once before going into cool down.

No Allies: IC wise it is very crippling with allies as using it would kill them isolating the user thirty meters from his allies if they were to use it.

One full post-transition: The user will pay the 10 maintenance chakra cost despite the Jutsu being down for one whole post and as mentioned earlier all drawbacks remain despite the Jutsu being not active defensively or offensively.


One second?: I stated in the Jutsu that it takes one full second to form referring to its speed of expansion. Meaning if we go by old range it would take one full second to reach 30 meters which is its size.  Because if it was one post to form, and one post to transition it would mean I would go 2 posts without this jutsu which would render it ineffective.


What I think I should add in honestly because I do agree this jutsu while with this many weaknesses is still a bit more powerful than average. Since it acts as two jutsus in one being a foundation jutsu. I assumed adding 20 chakra to the activation.  What I mean is instead of 30 chakra it is 50 chakra.

Another drawback which I've been avoiding, but since its come to this, oh well, is to have the user instead of four tiers lose strength completely meaning in defensive stance if someone comes close to them despite being under-ranked, the user is most likely effed and has to answer with a different jutsu otherwise rest in potato.









Centipede's Garden:
-Make sure you clarify posts in your duration
-When you say it takes 2 posts for a jutsu to escape, why does an S rank jutsu not outright destroy the seal and end it? Also, for A rank jutsu (following defensive properties I think?) it should be 3 jutsu
 
Added an explanation as to why an S-rank Jutsu does not outright destroy the seal but damages it enough to prevent it from lasting as long as it could. Edited as per requested. 







Maigo wrote:Artistic Creation of the Ultimate Reality:
-A point I must have missed before, list the number of hand signs or which ones are needed to activate the jutsu, afterwards this is good to go~



Added handseals as per request.


Thank you for your Hard work!

10Uzumaki Tsuneo [Jutsu update V.2] Empty Re: Uzumaki Tsuneo [Jutsu update V.2] Mon May 15, 2017 6:39 pm

Maigo

Maigo


D-rank
Tsuneo wrote:
Name: Forbidden Techniques: Artistic creation of the Ultimate Reality~禁術:実究极の芸術の創
Canon/Custom: Custom
Rank: S
Type: Offensive||Defensive||Supplementary 
Element: N/A
Range: 80 Meters
Specialty: Fuuinjutsu/ (A-Rank Ninjutsu required to shape Jutsu.)
Duration: Maintainable (-10 chakra per post)
Cooldown: 5+Maintained posts
Description: The ultimate reality, otherwise known as: Death. The user does the handseals: Monkey, Bird, Ox. Activating the jutsu that creates chains made of sealing symbols, ten chains hail from wherever the user wants, from his body or from a close by object can be the ground, these chains are jet black in color, and move at the speed of 50m/s, a slight black glow gives them an enchanting feeling and an intimidating one. Each chain is capable of piercing through flesh, grabbing and pulling objects/people, the chains may also pierce through flesh and bone, aside from that for each chain brought out, their range is decreased by five Meters (Bringing out ten chains will limit the range of the chains' reach to thirty meters, speed is decreased by one meter for each chain, meaning if all ten chains are out speed is limited to 40m/s). The user may use the chains to pull themselves towards something however that only works depending on how many chains are out. EXAMPLE: 5 chains out limit the user to pull themselves to any place at a speed of 45m/s and the user may only do this to any position within 55 meters NOTE: Using even on chain to burst to a position due to the high speed will make the user unable to use the chains for attack or defense for the remainder of the post. On the next post, the user may use the chains normally unless they decide to use the burst movement again. Using a chain for movement destroys the chain lessening the amount of chains available. This can be done only five times.
 
 
The user may bring the chains out of his own body, or out of non-living objects, however, the user can't bring the chains out of anywhere he wants, to successfully bring out a chain from another non-living object, the non-living object must be within fifteen meters of the user, the chain can be increased in length but the object must remain within fifteen meters radius otherwise the chain fades, and can't be brought back, the user can also attack with the chains in a different manner, by bringing out merely one chain(meaning other chains can't be brought out until second use after cool down) bringing out one chain the user can attack the victim and once the chain makes contact it explodes into thousands of chains that rips anyone within ten meters radius apart.
 
 
 The way these chains are brought out, is by having the user transform an enormous amount of chakra into another location in a distance that maintains the connection between the user and the chakra(15 meters radius) the moved chakra is transformed into seals strengthened and gathered by the user which gives it the appearance of a chain. These chains can be broken by a jutsu of equal rank, or by Jutsu of SS-Rank. The chains if hit together will break together, however, if an individual chain is broken only that chain is broken not all other chains that didn't get hit.

Artistic Creation of the Ultimate Reality is Approved~

Centipede's Garden:
-So an SS rank jutsu takes 1 post later to destroy it, S rank takes 2 posts, and the A ranks take 3 posts? Those are posts after it's breaking that you're still getting your restriction on. I'm gonna have to ask that you reduce that to normal defensive standards, once the seal is 'broken' the seal should be broken and the affect lifted immediately
-You still need to add 'posts' into your duration (just a bit of housekeeping)

Devouring Apocalypse:
-Right, there are plenty of drawbacks but some are just limitations in use and not necessarily drawbacks. I'll start off addressing that point for ease, but color isn't a suitable drawback unless the info of the technique is know. I won't consider meta-gaming against your technique a suitable drawback to increase it's power. As for the indiscriminate killing in number and whom it kills, this isn't a true drawback either. This is more esoteric in nature as a drawback is something that seriously debilitates the user either during or after (or both) of play. This does limit its scope, but it's not a drawback perse as far as I'd consider boosting the power to it in either form since it's easy for Tsuneo to make a signal or some other indicator to work around it easily, it just doesn't play out absolutely

Now, to cover it's drawbacks, the 4 tiers is a good drawback and the one post transition is a good mechanic to separate the terms. However, we're talking about an absolute killing technique, if they're in range, there is no fighting the technique here (most defensive techs won't save a person) in any form. Normally I'd be asking for that... some system to even combat it's direct death applying affects but for the sake of balancing it out and all, I'd like to see it's power offensively reduced and such, it can still deal your killing blows but it's gotta come down somehow.

As for the defensive, the most I'll take is 1 jutsu of rank and 2 of lesser rank when combining it with an offensive jutsu. I'm more than fine playing with and dropping your drawbacks here if you'd like, but power wise it's too much and there's no indication to increase power at the sake of a drawback, it's just too much for me. As for the increased chakra cost, that's written in the rules that it's not a suitable drawback to empower a jutsu so that's completely up to you to keep or drop?

Play around with it, I won't say anything for sure for now, I'd rather let you try to find the scale and system of your choice rather than me telling you what you should do and all~

11Uzumaki Tsuneo [Jutsu update V.2] Empty Re: Uzumaki Tsuneo [Jutsu update V.2] Tue May 16, 2017 1:29 am

Tsuneo

Tsuneo


D-rank
Judgement Day: Devouring Apocalypse became pure offense, with no defensive properties.


Centipede's Garden rewritten and remade properly as requested.


A-rank Jutsu replacement Merging Seal requires Approval




Thank you for your hard work!

12Uzumaki Tsuneo [Jutsu update V.2] Empty Re: Uzumaki Tsuneo [Jutsu update V.2] Wed May 17, 2017 4:30 pm

Orochi Risu

Orochi Risu


S-rank
deleted per tsuneo's request

13Uzumaki Tsuneo [Jutsu update V.2] Empty Re: Uzumaki Tsuneo [Jutsu update V.2] Wed May 24, 2017 9:55 am

Maigo

Maigo


D-rank
Devouring Apocalypse:
-Bring the cooldown of this jutsu up by a good bit, it should be a thing used only once, maybe twice in a fight?
-I'd like the speed and range of this dropped to the lower end of it, you're getting a max damage jutsu that's maintained at full power (which it shouldn't be, should be lower damage and increase after so many posts to match the original power) so I'd like those dropped to the lower end of the scale
-As for the interacting with defensive jutsu, I'd like this to follow the guidelines more closely? If it's something like physical defensive jutsu then you can seal those away at that number of posts and all, but if it's something that affects the seal (counter-sealing, etc...) then it shouldn't be subject to the listings as they are?
-As for armor and items, I'd like them to follow the same rules? I know it's not intristic but if you're going to count them as defending and the likes then I'd like this correspond as well
-On your 4 tier stat drop, is that applied the instant the technique begins? And if so, does it last after the jutsu is ended as well?

Centipede's Garden:
-Bring the cooldown up of this jutsu? It's an S rank, 6 posts is a good bit but it's incredibly powerful
-Your say 45 m radius but in the post it says 40 m radius? You need to clarify which it actually is in both places

Merging Seal:
-Duration should have the chakra cost listed in that line
-If it uses Senjutsu it should be listed in Specialty (as optional or otherwise)

14Uzumaki Tsuneo [Jutsu update V.2] Empty Re: Uzumaki Tsuneo [Jutsu update V.2] Thu May 25, 2017 6:00 pm

Tsuneo

Tsuneo


D-rank
All edits made.

And on the damage over time I would like to disagree simply as there are many more Jutsu that kill in radius(won't quote who as to not cause hostility.) Secondly, according to guidlines:
Guidelines wrote:S Rank - Able to rend people apart with ease, crush even bone to dust, incinerate, or do damage of the like. These jutsu have the ability to cause death even at a distance; for this reason, they are considered 'overkill'.
 
My Jutsu does simply that, has the ability to cause death at a distance. However, it has also its ability to chip away at basic defense techniques and items, thus, the drawbacks. I lowered the range and the speed, worked as the guidelines state in regards to resistances. Also added new drawbacks.

15Uzumaki Tsuneo [Jutsu update V.2] Empty Re: Uzumaki Tsuneo [Jutsu update V.2] Tue May 30, 2017 3:37 pm

Tsuneo

Tsuneo


D-rank
Added two B-rank jutsus which are replacements for 2 B-rank jutsus that were denied.

16Uzumaki Tsuneo [Jutsu update V.2] Empty Re: Uzumaki Tsuneo [Jutsu update V.2] Sat Jun 03, 2017 12:03 am

Maigo

Maigo


D-rank
As for your S rank, I'll only point out that you're getting a maintainable auto-kill jutsu here, max damage usually requires lower end specs on every other category and all. Further, on jutsu like this that are maintainable, they shouldn't be doing the full damage per post but instead should aggregate to it over time as well. This jutsu does not follow that at all either, really, I'm very uncomfortable letting it be at the levels I've asked anyways, I'd really like to see the range and such even lower or the damage aggregated out over a few posts.

Flash Bomb:
-You're not getting total blindness for an entire thread at B rank, this needs to be marked off at a set number of posts
-Further, if this is doing permanent damage and such, it should only take healing of an equivalent rank unless there's some reason that it needs to be higher?
-Make sure to mark posts in you cooldown as well

Seal of the Protector:
-Limit this to seal of equal or lower rank only

17Uzumaki Tsuneo [Jutsu update V.2] Empty Re: Uzumaki Tsuneo [Jutsu update V.2] Sat Jun 03, 2017 2:15 am

Tsuneo

Tsuneo


D-rank
Bump desu

centipede garden and converging seal

Sponsored content



View previous topic View next topic Back to top Message [Page 1 of 1]

Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum

Naruto and Naruto Shippuuden belong to © Masashi Kishimoto.